Girls- Getting sexually frusterated?

Sharing? Absolutely.

My ex was ALWAYS too tired...not interested...could care less. It's not that he was getting it elsewhere, it just was't a priority for him. And honestly it didn't matter what I did, he just wasn't interested in sex. My husband now....he is 44, works 60-80hrs a week and has NEVER been too tired or not interested. We have been together 7 years and still it's almost every night.

That's how it is with my fiance....we've been together 7 1/2 years and have 2 kids. Even in the beginning it was about once every 1-2 weeks, and then maybe twice every 1-2 months.....now it's.....I can't even remember -- i think something like 3 times since August. He never initiates, wants me to -- but I can't tell you how many times he has turned me down flat no matter what I did. Now, I just can't initiate anymore -- it's too dejecting. We've been over and over, and around and around about this. He'd rather watch porn on his pc and *kitten* in the shower. Whatever.......not sure how long I'll be able to stay in this sexless "marriage."

wow, i'm not sure how much longer you can live like that either. seems like it won't get better. have u tried going to couples therapy or something to tap into why he is acting this way and why he doesnt enjoy intimacy?

No, and I don't think it would work anyway, even if I managed by some miracle to get him to go. He admits his sex drive is lower than the normal guy, but he doesn't think it's a problem. He has low testosterone, so sex is non-existent when he's not using his patches, and barely existent even when he is. He doesn't believe sex is the most important thing -- and I disagree -- I feel it's as equally important as other elements of a relationship. He knows how I feel because I've told him. I don't talk to him about it anymore because if I do, he accuses me of keeping track. He also knows how I feel about porn.....again, he doesn't think he has a problem with this and doesn't understand why I do. I don't have a problem w/porn in general -- I like it, in small amounts, and I understand most guys do. I've had boyfriends before who would look at a magazine, watch a video here and there......but never every single day. I've never had a boyfriend who would refuse to make love to me, but then watch porn and go jerk off in the shower. I told him this, too -- but he still thinks I'm making a big deal of it.

Anyway....for now I'm taking care of me -- my weight I mean, and getting healthy. I'm giving it two more years for when my son graduates high school, and then I can afford a 2 bedroom apartment for me and my daughter. If things haven't gotten better, I'm moving on. I want a man who wants me and has no problem showing me that he does.

Sharing? Absolutely.

as in swinging???????? Details! LOL

I was talking about my guy! :laugh:

Spike his punch and whisper in his ear a little... or a lot. That might help.

Seriously, when it comes to this stuff I am on another planet. If I told anyone the last time I'd been intimate with someone, it would be really embarrassing. It'd also make your situation seem much more bearable. But it is also what you are used to, and I won't try to minimize that by any means. If you are used to a certain kind of attention (in the same way that I'm used to no attention), I can see it becoming very frustrating.

I do watch a lot of Dr. Phil, though. He seems to be able to pump info out of just about anybody. Perhaps give his producers a call?
Just kidding; I hope you find a solution to this problem. I like to give advice but only if I know it's actually going to be helpful, so I can't offer much to you in this case. Good luck. :flowerforyou:

I think DH is of the quality not quantity, as another poster said. I would like it everyday. I don't know about the glue for a relationship, but I can tell you I am much happier and positive about my marriage and my husband when we are having relations regularly. I was in a relationship before where BF was more interested in porn than me, and I can tell you, the porn doesn't bother me unless I am being neglected in favor it!

Porn has it's place and its uses. Too bad some folks get hooked on it and forget how great real live action is.

My ex was ALWAYS too tired...not interested...could care less. It's not that he was getting it elsewhere, it just was't a priority for him. And honestly it didn't matter what I did, he just wasn't interested in sex. My husband now....he is 44, works 60-80hrs a week and has NEVER been too tired or not interested. We have been together 7 years and still it's almost every night.

That's how it is with my fiance....we've been together 7 1/2 years and have 2 kids. Even in the beginning it was about once every 1-2 weeks, and then maybe twice every 1-2 months.....now it's.....I can't even remember -- i think something like 3 times since August. He never initiates, wants me to -- but I can't tell you how many times he has turned me down flat no matter what I did. Now, I just can't initiate anymore -- it's too dejecting. We've been over and over, and around and around about this. He'd rather watch porn on his pc and *kitten* in the shower. Whatever.......not sure how long I'll be able to stay in this sexless "marriage."

wow, i'm not sure how much longer you can live like that either. seems like it won't get better. have u tried going to couples therapy or something to tap into why he is acting this way and why he doesnt enjoy intimacy?

No, and I don't think it would work anyway, even if I managed by some miracle to get him to go. He admits his sex drive is lower than the normal guy, but he doesn't think it's a problem. He has low testosterone, so sex is non-existent when he's not using his patches, and barely existent even when he is. He doesn't believe sex is the most important thing -- and I disagree -- I feel it's as equally important as other elements of a relationship. He knows how I feel because I've told him. I don't talk to him about it anymore because if I do, he accuses me of keeping track. He also knows how I feel about porn.....again, he doesn't think he has a problem with this and doesn't understand why I do. I don't have a problem w/porn in general -- I like it, in small amounts, and I understand most guys do. I've had boyfriends before who would look at a magazine, watch a video here and there......but never every single day. I've never had a boyfriend who would refuse to make love to me, but then watch porn and go jerk off in the shower. I told him this, too -- but he still thinks I'm making a big deal of it.

Anyway....for now I'm taking care of me -- my weight I mean, and getting healthy. I'm giving it two more years for when my son graduates high school, and then I can afford a 2 bedroom apartment for me and my daughter. If things haven't gotten better, I'm moving on. I want a man who wants me and has no problem showing me that he does.

sounds like a good plan.

I would DEF worry too. Sorry but if he is like every other living normal human being with testosterone and a heart beat, he should never be too tired. I suspect somethings up for sure

My boyfriend is the same way. Men just don't have the sex drives they used to as teenagers or early 20s. Or most of them anyways. It's not a bad thing. I would just suggest massages. That's what i do, give him a nice back massage with oil or lotion to seduce him and make him feel all loosened up and BAM!!!!!!!!! I get what i want! lolol

I would DEF worry too. Sorry but if he is like every other living normal human being with testosterone and a heart beat, he should never be too tired. I suspect somethings up for sure

^^ Totally wrong.
Really, men get tired too. They aren't just walking penises.
They aren't vibrators, they are human too.

I agree with being wrong...my boyfriend and i have sex couple times maybe even just once a week and we dont do it more because i mean there's stress, jobs, etc to worry about and when you can sit in the same room away from each other and feel right next to him, why does it matter if he's 'in' you?

Porcelain doll - good for you. If you're choosing for a "second virginity"or whatever they call it, more power to you! And believe me, there were SO many times I thought I wouldn't find a guy who'd be willing to wait. My current boyfriend would have waited had I asked. I decided he was the right one and like I said, we did have sex for a period of time. But it's not how I always pictured my before marriage life, so I'm taking steps to change that.

But please please don't ever think that you have to give up your ideals for anything less than what you feel like doing. If you decide you wanna wait ... Wait. No matter how much pop culture or people you know say you won't ever find a guy to wait. That's what everyone told me too. Now I'm with the love of my life who has proved to be more of a man than I could have ever asked or orated for!

Many blessings on your weight loss journey as well as your love journey

** supposed yo be asked or prayed for ... Not even sure orated is a word **

** supposed yo be asked or prayed for ... Not even sure orated is a word **

Actually, "orar" means "to pray" in Spanish. So it actually is a word, ha ha! I think you just spoke the Spanglish version!

Thank you so much for your encouragement! Very sweet of you!

I think DH is of the quality not quantity, as another poster said. I would like it everyday. I don't know about the glue for a relationship, but I can tell you I am much happier and positive about my marriage and my husband when we are having relations regularly. I was in a relationship before where BF was more interested in porn than me, and I can tell you, the porn doesn't bother me unless I am being neglected in favor it!

Preferring porn over the company of the lady in their life? Where do I sign up to slap some sense into guys like that?

well, probably symptoms of a bigger problem of someone being too selfish to consider another person! because most of us can take care of our needs, that is not the point, the connection and closeness is just as important...

Yup, love that snuggle time too.

My point is that any guy that neglects the special lady in his life (even if it is only just "snuggle time") in favour of porn needs to be given a good hard slap to shake some sense into him. Can't he appreciate what he has in his life there beside him?

I think DH is of the quality not quantity, as another poster said. I would like it everyday. I don't know about the glue for a relationship, but I can tell you I am much happier and positive about my marriage and my husband when we are having relations regularly. I was in a relationship before where BF was more interested in porn than me, and I can tell you, the porn doesn't bother me unless I am being neglected in favor it!

Preferring porn over the company of the lady in their life? Where do I sign up to slap some sense into guys like that?

well, probably symptoms of a bigger problem of someone being too selfish to consider another person! because most of us can take care of our needs, that is not the point, the connection and closeness is just as important...

Yup, love that snuggle time too.

My point is that any guy that neglects the special lady in his life (even if it is only just "snuggle time") in favour of porn needs to be given a good hard slap to shake some sense into him. Can't he appreciate what he has in his life there beside him?

Ummmm, Pulling up a chair and making some popcorn......

Really, men get tired too. They aren't just walking penises.
They aren't vibrators, they are human too.

But even when I'm tired, I'm still a human, vibrating, SLEEP-walking penis. :bigsmile: