Girls- Getting sexually frusterated?

It's been almost 3 yrs since intercourse for me, and the only reason he agreed that night was because I agreed to have another baby. Unfortunately for me I got pregnant on the first try.

Before that it'd been 2 yrs.

I've just come to the conclusion my husband will never find me attractive again because I "cut him off" of the swinging scene once I got pregnant with our daughter 10 yrs ago. He's always been addicted to online p0rn but it wasn't until my first pregnancy that he just completely shut me out.

So I feel for you gals -- massive libido here -- but after the first few years you get numb to it. And that's why I threw out my romance novels, too...out of sight, out of mind, right?

Honey, don't want to be harsh on you, but your man is gay or has smb else. 3 years no sex? i'd had a lover by now, or divorced.

Not gay. He's addicted to online p0rn so he gets his "kicks" that way. He did get into an "emotional" affair with a woman from the UK (nothing physical) which lasted a few years and I think he resents that I made him give it up.

And frankly, if it weren't for my health issues and that he's a good dad (tho lousy husband) I would be divorced. As for the lover part, let's see what happens after I lose this weight! :devil:

I really didnt want to be harsh but something is wrong with this picture, whether he's addicted to porn or having an affair, you should not have to "make him give up anything" and he should not resent you. Lots of women just stay in the marriage for their kids but you have to think about how your marriage affects your kids too. He may be a good father but if he's a bad husband then he's a bad example to your kids. I mean I dont know how he treats you outside the bedroom but if its not with love and respect then how do your kids perceive that? Do you want your son to grow up n be like his dad or your daughter to think its ok for men to neglect their spouses? sorry if i'm out of line, but u may think they dont notice or arent affected but they are.

My parents are still together, but sometimes after somethings my dad does I almost want to encourage my mom to leave him because she deserves better :S He's a good man but damn I would not tolerate somethings he does. UGH MEN!

No you're not out of line. Advice is always appreciated.

As for the out of the bedroom relationship, we have been very careful to never argue in front of the kids, and when my daughter was 2 or so and I caught him chatting and looking at stuff where she could see, I put the fear of God into him about that. So he has agreed (and has stuck to) not going online until the kids are in bed. He is very good with the kids, helps me out especially when I'm incapacitated by my chemo or if I'm having a massive flare or something else is going on. Having seen my parents constantly fighting I've tried to be very careful to not show any of that in front of my kids. We joke around, we talk about our days, we all watch TV together or play Wii or something (when I'm feeling up to it). Really, it's just the bedroom part of things.

And unlike my parents there wouldn't be a question about us going to bed together or something because with my work schedule I'm usually in bed by 8 pm, and the kids put ME to bed, and I get up around 2 am or so to work on the days I work.

As for the "resentment" it stems from him believing that there was nothing wrong because there was no sex involved. He didn't see what he did as wrong, but he fell in love with her, talked to her over the phone, exchanged gifts, so there was an affair. He didn't see it that way since his dad had tons of physical affairs, so he didn't feel it was an actual affair. Some day he'll come to the realization that it was wrong.

I think if I was in better health, closer to my family, etc, it'd be easier to leave. I don't want him to have sole custody, and with my health I don't trust myself to be able to care for them by myself. So for now, I'm just concentrating my energy into losing weight, trying to bring my health under some kind of control, and just think of the kids when I get really lonely. :flowerforyou:

hey Carl! whats up man? hahaha






Crap, I dont think we're supposed to be in here either :drinker:

My story is different. I used to be like you guys until i turned 25 and my bf, who would turn me down a lot. I initiated sex 90% of the time and in 5 years i said no maybe only 2 times, him-i stopped counting. Well last year, his life became stable, mine started to be a wreck.
Eventualy all the stress got to me and my libido is about 30% at what it used to be. Now, my partner is running after me, asking for it, he is horny all the time.:))
It's funny, but what we experience in life affects our sex drive.

As for disappointment girls get a BULLET!! You will be done SEVERAL times before he gets warmed up good!!

Don't feel bad, walkingGirl. My husband has been too tired plenty of times. I've ALWAYS been the one in the relationship pushing for it more than other times. I don't think that EVERY guy has to be a hornball. Just because he said "no," and he's too tired, doesn't mean he's cheating or that he's abnormal, by any means. Sorry to hear that. My husband is a Marine...I get sexually deprived A LOT. Hahaha...

Good luck, kiddo.

I feel for you!!!
mine is Navy... I am tired of being deprived!!!

As for disappointment girls get a BULLET!! You will be done SEVERAL times before he gets warmed up good!!

EVERY woman should have one!

Exactly! If he "says" he's not interesting, pick up the bullet IN front of him....99.9% chance he will jump in, and if he doest... you still "win" lol

I am a very sexual person and I am not ashamed of it. I love it, need it and want it. And my husband knows it. If he is too tired and I am climbing the walls I take matters into my own hands and put him in the mood, do my thang and he always shall we say "rise's to the occasion". I know not everyone is comfortable with their sexuality or being the aggressor. But it works for me! So no not sexually frustrated. I wake him up if I have to! :devil:

Ha ha!! Dumb husband...that's pretty funny. It usually means "dear" husband. But I like dumb better.

My ex was ALWAYS too tired...not interested...could care less. It's not that he was getting it elsewhere, it just was't a priority for him. And honestly it didn't matter what I did, he just wasn't interested in sex. My husband now....he is 44, works 60-80hrs a week and has NEVER been too tired or not interested. We have been together 7 years and still it's almost every night.

He's a lucky guy to have a wife that is on the same page with him in enjoying it that frequently. I'm married and I'm not even sure who the President was last time I got any.... :brokenheart:

Like someone else said earlier, it's like glue to a relationship. Without it...stuff just falls apart all around you.