Friends who don't exercise?
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yopeeps025 wrote: »
I keep hearing about these people. I never see them though. I wanna see them. I'm sure a beatdown might change there mindset.
The truth is, the gym can be a very negative or intimidating atmosphere for newbies who are just starting out.
I often see on this forum that plenty of regulars will talk about how much time they spend at the gym, how much they love the gym, all of the above. Often, they don't feel what a newbie feels -- how unfamiliar an environment it can be, how hard it is to strip down to workout clothes and feel the eyes on you, how awkward it can be when you aren't sure how to use the equipment or what the etiquette or norms are.
And -- broad generalization -- it can also be intimidating for women because of the (real or perceived) judgment for having extra pounds. Which, duh, is why you're there in the first place, to lose those pounds. I'm not saying this doesn't happen to men, but I feel it's a bigger problem for women -- generally the judgment comes from other women, too. (Guys are too busy working out to care, and will usually only notice really toned/thin women, though feeling invisible to men can be tough on the self-esteem too.)
Also, many of the fitness classes like aerobics, step, yoga, etc. naturally lend themselves to a sort of competitive mindset, because if you fall out of step with everyone else or can't follow the instructor's moves, you feel like everyone is staring at you.
I'm *not* saying that these are excuses not to go to the gym. These things DO get easier with time.
I just think that they're all very real emotions that people deal with, and that they put a lot of people off from sticking with a gym workout program. It's important to acknowledge, not dismiss, these feelings, and to offer pointers and advice about how to overcome them.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »
I keep hearing about these people. I never see them though. I wanna see them. I'm sure a beatdown might change there mindset.
The truth is, the gym can be a very negative or intimidating atmosphere for newbies who are just starting out.
I often see on this forum that plenty of regulars will talk about how much time they spend at the gym, how much they love the gym, all of the above. Often, they don't feel what a newbie feels -- how unfamiliar an environment it can be, how hard it is to strip down to workout clothes and feel the eyes on you, how awkward it can be when you aren't sure how to use the equipment or what the etiquette or norms are.
And -- broad generalization -- it can also be intimidating for women because of the (real or perceived) judgment for having extra pounds. Which, duh, is why you're there in the first place, to lose those pounds. I'm not saying this doesn't happen to men, but I feel it's a bigger problem for women -- generally the judgment comes from other women, too. (Guys are too busy working out to care, and will usually only notice really toned/thin women, though feeling invisible to men can be tough on the self-esteem too.)
Also, many of the fitness classes like aerobics, step, yoga, etc. naturally lend themselves to a sort of competitive mindset, because if you fall out of step with everyone else or can't follow the instructor's moves, you feel like everyone is staring at you.
I'm *not* saying that these are excuses not to go to the gym. These things DO get easier with time.
I just think that they're all very real emotions that people deal with, and that they put a lot of people off from sticking with a gym workout program. It's important to acknowledge, not dismiss, these feelings, and to offer pointers and advice about how to overcome them.
Everyone was a noob at one point. The best way to get into the gym is to educate yourself on equipment and form. Then, ask for help when you need it.0 -
one word...LAZY! My 19 year old daughter goes to college FULL TIME (16 credit hours every semester), works full time and still finds time to walk with me. She hates to exercise, too, but she understands that's its good to do it.[/quote]
You're not lazy and don't let anyone compare themselves or what their life is like to you. I just wanted to comment, like someone had said earlier, walking IS exercise. I recently did a fitness challenge at work and you wouldn't believe what you can count as exercise. It doesn't need to be structured or in a gym. Don't be hard on yourself, start slow, and do what you're comfortable with. Although, you may find those walks help with the stress of college
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I currently am not exercising other than the small amount of walking to class I do. I'm in my last semester of college and I *chose* not to exercise because that was just too much. For. ME.
As far as weight loss, I have been losing, just eating at the deficit MFP gives me. I'm decently consistent with my logging and I'm not losing as fast as I could be, but I'm moving in the right direction. Feel free to add me. 0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »
I keep hearing about these people. I never see them though. I wanna see them. I'm sure a beatdown might change there mindset.
The truth is, the gym can be a very negative or intimidating atmosphere for newbies who are just starting out.
I often see on this forum that plenty of regulars will talk about how much time they spend at the gym, how much they love the gym, all of the above. Often, they don't feel what a newbie feels -- how unfamiliar an environment it can be, how hard it is to strip down to workout clothes and feel the eyes on you, how awkward it can be when you aren't sure how to use the equipment or what the etiquette or norms are.
And -- broad generalization -- it can also be intimidating for women because of the (real or perceived) judgment for having extra pounds. Which, duh, is why you're there in the first place, to lose those pounds. I'm not saying this doesn't happen to men, but I feel it's a bigger problem for women -- generally the judgment comes from other women, too. (Guys are too busy working out to care, and will usually only notice really toned/thin women, though feeling invisible to men can be tough on the self-esteem too.)
Also, many of the fitness classes like aerobics, step, yoga, etc. naturally lend themselves to a sort of competitive mindset, because if you fall out of step with everyone else or can't follow the instructor's moves, you feel like everyone is staring at you.
I'm *not* saying that these are excuses not to go to the gym. These things DO get easier with time.
I just think that they're all very real emotions that people deal with, and that they put a lot of people off from sticking with a gym workout program. It's important to acknowledge, not dismiss, these feelings, and to offer pointers and advice about how to overcome them.
I remember being a noob. We do not forget those things. I remember benching my very first time at 95 pounds. I also remember being the same weight I am now if not more when I first started lifting when I was 17. Did I feel this pressure others feel going to the gym with the in shape. I have to say I never felt like I was not welcome in a gym. I felt not welcome in a bar which is another story.
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uconnwinsnc1 wrote: »Everyone was a noob at one point. The best way to get into the gym is to educate yourself on equipment and form. Then, ask for help when you need it.
That might've been the best way for you. It wasn't for me. It isn't for everyone.
People are all different. We all deal with new situations in different ways.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »I remember being a noob. We do not forget those things. I remember benching my very first time at 95 pounds. I also remember being the same weight I am now if not more when I first started lifting when I was 17. Did I feel this pressure others feel going to the gym with the in shape. I have to say I never felt like I was not welcome in a gym. I felt not welcome in a bar which is another story.
I hate generalizations... but I suspect it's different for most men than it is for most women.
I've very often felt very unwelcome in a gym. Not so much in a bar. 0 -
sure, but pretending that everybody is pointing and laughing seems to be a way of not handling the problem and is blaming ghosts and devoiding oneself of the responsibility of learning / trying / starting.0
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Yes please do this OP!Calliope610 wrote: »OP, Print out this thread, put it in a safe place. Take it out in 30 years and read all the responses. When you are 50ish and bemoaning the fact that you have assorted aches, pains and maladies associated with "getting older", you will rue the day you 'pooh-poohed" the idea of exercise.
Having a family that is overweight should push you to make better choices for your health. That includes physical activity.
Sometimes people just do not care about all the health issues that come along with life and how to prevent them.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »I remember being a noob. We do not forget those things. I remember benching my very first time at 95 pounds. I also remember being the same weight I am now if not more when I first started lifting when I was 17. Did I feel this pressure others feel going to the gym with the in shape. I have to say I never felt like I was not welcome in a gym. I felt not welcome in a bar which is another story.
I hate generalizations... but I suspect it's different for most men than it is for most women.
I've very often felt very unwelcome in a gym. Not so much in a bar.
So people still laugh at the person who cannot perform to a certain physical level. Is the gym like grade school back when I was five?
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yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »I remember being a noob. We do not forget those things. I remember benching my very first time at 95 pounds. I also remember being the same weight I am now if not more when I first started lifting when I was 17. Did I feel this pressure others feel going to the gym with the in shape. I have to say I never felt like I was not welcome in a gym. I felt not welcome in a bar which is another story.
I hate generalizations... but I suspect it's different for most men than it is for most women.
I've very often felt very unwelcome in a gym. Not so much in a bar.
So people still laugh at the person who cannot perform to a certain physical level. Is the gym like grade school back when I was five?
As a woman who started going to the gym while in the morbidly obese category, I can say that the gyms I've been to have never felt like grade school. It's always been a warm, pleasant atmosphere where the staff and other gym goers are helpful, especially if you aren't sure what to do. There's tons of stuff that I still can't do and I've never once been made fun of.0 -
it's that some people pretend they will be noticed and laughed at as a convenient, made-up deterrent to trying something new.
so in that respect, it's them pretending that's it's gym like grade school when we were five.-1 -
Wronkletoad wrote: »it's that some people pretend they will be noticed and laughed at as a convenient, made-up deterrent to trying something new.
so in that respect, it's them pretending that's it's gym like grade school when we were five.
You're being rather dismissive and insensitive.
People have all kinds of issues and all kinds of stories. Just because something doesn't affect you doesn't mean it doesn't affect others.
Your attitude of "your issues are in your head and therefore don't exist" is really rude and condescending.
If you've always felt happy and comfortable in a gym, good for you. Not trying to take that away from you.
But recognize that not everyone feels that way, and that the best way to make people stick with an exercise program is to ensure that they have an experience more like @vamaena's when they start visiting a gym, so they don't get turned off or scared away.
Fostering a welcoming gym environment is up to everyone.
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Wronkletoad wrote: »it's that some people pretend they will be noticed and laughed at as a convenient, made-up deterrent to trying something new.
so in that respect, it's them pretending that's it's gym like grade school when we were five.
Ah, okay. I can understand that. There was a point in my life where I had similar thoughts to that. I then realized that it was silly to think that way or to care about what other people thought of me.0 -
I agree with segacs here. I have pretty bad social anxiety and the very idea of a gym - full of people I perceive to be better than me and (in my mind, I know it's probably not true) judging me... is terrifying. Not to mention I've never stepped foot in a gym and wouldn't have the first clue on how to use any of that equipment. I get bad anxiety over not knowing what to do and worse anxiety at the thought of asking for help. Plus my nearest gym has a big open window at the front. You can see everyone inside, and it's right on the highstreet of a city. Being a village girl... yeah, that's intimidating. People say 'oh they're all there to work out too, they won't judge me'. Maybe that's true, but when the average person on the street can see me too? I think I would probably have a panic attack if I went. I'll stick to walking.0
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Wronkletoad wrote: »it's that some people pretend they will be noticed and laughed at as a convenient, made-up deterrent to trying something new.
so in that respect, it's them pretending that's it's gym like grade school when we were five.
You're being rather dismissive and insensitive.
People have all kinds of issues and all kinds of stories. Just because something doesn't affect you doesn't mean it doesn't affect others.
Your attitude of "your issues are in your head and therefore don't exist" is really rude and condescending.
If you've always felt happy and comfortable in a gym, good for you. Not trying to take that away from you.
But recognize that not everyone feels that way, and that the best way to make people stick with an exercise program is to ensure that they have an experience more like @vamaena's when they start visiting a gym, so they don't get turned off or scared away.
Fostering a welcoming gym environment is up to everyone.
I can understand that. It doesn't make sense to me but maybe it does happen. I'm sure the guy I knew in high school was made fun of for not being able to bench the bar. He also wanted to play football which he did all four years of high school. That did not discourage him from getting what he wanted.
OP we had talks and for your goals what if a calorie deficit will not give you the results because heck not every person is the same. What if you realize that fitness will now only get you to your goals quicker but farther then you dreamed. It's actually been a while since we talked so I am not too sure if your goal before still stands as what you want.
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segas -- no. i think you're being obtuse and patronizing. it is not Joe's responsibility to make Bill feel welcome when Joe is doing heavy squats. He stays away from Bill and doesn't hinder Bill.
If Bill feels intimitaded by Joe's weight lifting, that's on Bill, not Joe.
I think your attitude gives us the Lunk Alarm, etc.-2 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »I remember being a noob. We do not forget those things. I remember benching my very first time at 95 pounds. I also remember being the same weight I am now if not more when I first started lifting when I was 17. Did I feel this pressure others feel going to the gym with the in shape. I have to say I never felt like I was not welcome in a gym. I felt not welcome in a bar which is another story.
I hate generalizations... but I suspect it's different for most men than it is for most women.
I've very often felt very unwelcome in a gym. Not so much in a bar.
You clearly haven't tried Planet Fitness. It's a different kind of gym, and kind of a "judgment free zone."0 -
MarziPanda95 wrote: »I agree with segacs here. I have pretty bad social anxiety and the very idea of a gym - full of people I perceive to be better than me and (in my mind, I know it's probably not true) judging me... is terrifying. Not to mention I've never stepped foot in a gym and wouldn't have the first clue on how to use any of that equipment. I get bad anxiety over not knowing what to do and worse anxiety at the thought of asking for help. Plus my nearest gym has a big open window at the front. You can see everyone inside, and it's right on the highstreet of a city. Being a village girl... yeah, that's intimidating. People say 'oh they're all there to work out too, they won't judge me'. Maybe that's true, but when the average person on the street can see me too? I think I would probably have a panic attack if I went. I'll stick to walking.
The average person, at least in the USA, does not exercising so you would already be taking control of your life and health.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »MarziPanda95 wrote: »I agree with segacs here. I have pretty bad social anxiety and the very idea of a gym - full of people I perceive to be better than me and (in my mind, I know it's probably not true) judging me... is terrifying. Not to mention I've never stepped foot in a gym and wouldn't have the first clue on how to use any of that equipment. I get bad anxiety over not knowing what to do and worse anxiety at the thought of asking for help. Plus my nearest gym has a big open window at the front. You can see everyone inside, and it's right on the highstreet of a city. Being a village girl... yeah, that's intimidating. People say 'oh they're all there to work out too, they won't judge me'. Maybe that's true, but when the average person on the street can see me too? I think I would probably have a panic attack if I went. I'll stick to walking.
The average person, at least in the USA, does not exercising so you would already be taking control of your life and health.
I don't live in the US. I live in a city in the UK, quite a young city where many are university students like me. Most are not overweight like I am.0
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