Friends who don't exercise?
Replies
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yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »I remember being a noob. We do not forget those things. I remember benching my very first time at 95 pounds. I also remember being the same weight I am now if not more when I first started lifting when I was 17. Did I feel this pressure others feel going to the gym with the in shape. I have to say I never felt like I was not welcome in a gym. I felt not welcome in a bar which is another story.
I hate generalizations... but I suspect it's different for most men than it is for most women.
I've very often felt very unwelcome in a gym. Not so much in a bar.
So people still laugh at the person who cannot perform to a certain physical level. Is the gym like grade school back when I was five?
As a woman who started going to the gym while in the morbidly obese category, I can say that the gyms I've been to have never felt like grade school. It's always been a warm, pleasant atmosphere where the staff and other gym goers are helpful, especially if you aren't sure what to do. There's tons of stuff that I still can't do and I've never once been made fun of.
This makes me exceptionally sad.
I see so many women on this site who are on the cusp of being brave enough and launching themselves into better overall fitness and someone comes along and announces that the gym is nothing more than an exclusive clubhouse filled with an insensitive crowd of indecent bullies who gang up on overweight people by calling names and alienating them.
That is not a gym.
That is not how you see a gym when you are there 3-5 days a week for years and years. You see it as a safe haven. A second home. Somewhere to run to when you are alone and broken and defeated and unloved. Somewhere you can gather yourself before a fight. Your secret lair. Your BatCave. shared with your brothers in arms.
People don't go to the gym to point and laugh at people who are starting.
People who frequent gyms also know a bit of the timing of the demographics that roll through the gym as well.
In the evenings on Thursday/Friday nights and Saturday afternoons - it's a social arena. It's when the flirting and the joking and the playing happens. Between 2 and 4:30, its the highschool kids.
If THESE are the demographics you are avoiding, then recognize that is the goals and habits of certain people at certain times that you would prefer to avoid - that it isnt THE BIG EVIL GYM FULL OF BULLIES.
yall break my heart.
You see your gym as a "safe haven?" "A second home?" Is this for real?
I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that no one's going to assault me in my gym, but I don't ask for much else. I typically notice other people only when they're playing with their phones, while sitting at my next station.
Someone's life must indeed be lacking, if they're going to a gym for emotional support.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »I remember being a noob. We do not forget those things. I remember benching my very first time at 95 pounds. I also remember being the same weight I am now if not more when I first started lifting when I was 17. Did I feel this pressure others feel going to the gym with the in shape. I have to say I never felt like I was not welcome in a gym. I felt not welcome in a bar which is another story.
I hate generalizations... but I suspect it's different for most men than it is for most women.
I've very often felt very unwelcome in a gym. Not so much in a bar.
So people still laugh at the person who cannot perform to a certain physical level. Is the gym like grade school back when I was five?
As a woman who started going to the gym while in the morbidly obese category, I can say that the gyms I've been to have never felt like grade school. It's always been a warm, pleasant atmosphere where the staff and other gym goers are helpful, especially if you aren't sure what to do. There's tons of stuff that I still can't do and I've never once been made fun of.
This makes me exceptionally sad.
I see so many women on this site who are on the cusp of being brave enough and launching themselves into better overall fitness and someone comes along and announces that the gym is nothing more than an exclusive clubhouse filled with an insensitive crowd of indecent bullies who gang up on overweight people by calling names and alienating them.
That is not a gym.
That is not how you see a gym when you are there 3-5 days a week for years and years. You see it as a safe haven. A second home. Somewhere to run to when you are alone and broken and defeated and unloved. Somewhere you can gather yourself before a fight. Your secret lair. Your BatCave. shared with your brothers in arms.
People don't go to the gym to point and laugh at people who are starting.
People who frequent gyms also know a bit of the timing of the demographics that roll through the gym as well.
In the evenings on Thursday/Friday nights and Saturday afternoons - it's a social arena. It's when the flirting and the joking and the playing happens. Between 2 and 4:30, its the highschool kids.
If THESE are the demographics you are avoiding, then recognize that is the goals and habits of certain people at certain times that you would prefer to avoid - that it isnt THE BIG EVIL GYM FULL OF BULLIES.
yall break my heart.
It makes you sad that I went to the gym and had a positive experience? o.O
Or were you replying to what I was replying to?
All I was trying to say, is that I went to the gym, with the fear that I would be ridiculed but instead found a warm, fun atmosphere filled with help. I never once said that it was an exclusive clubhouse. Heck, I was trying to encourage the OP to workout by stating that it's not as scary as you may think.
EDIT: Reading through other replies and seeing that OP will try to workout, Yay! That brightens my day! Don't get discouraged, it takes a bit of time to get used to it!
i was replying to what you were replying to. Obviously I wasn't saddened by someone having a good gym experience.
this is why i hate this place.
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I don't believe the OP was asking for ways to incorporate exercise into her daily life, or for any exercise ideas. She doesn't want to exercise, and that's her decision. Not her priority, and I understand that. She's looking for like-minded people to become MFP friends.
That being said, I do exercise, so I am not one of those. But I wish you the best of luck with your weight/fitness goals!0 -
LiminalAscendance wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »I remember being a noob. We do not forget those things. I remember benching my very first time at 95 pounds. I also remember being the same weight I am now if not more when I first started lifting when I was 17. Did I feel this pressure others feel going to the gym with the in shape. I have to say I never felt like I was not welcome in a gym. I felt not welcome in a bar which is another story.
I hate generalizations... but I suspect it's different for most men than it is for most women.
I've very often felt very unwelcome in a gym. Not so much in a bar.
So people still laugh at the person who cannot perform to a certain physical level. Is the gym like grade school back when I was five?
As a woman who started going to the gym while in the morbidly obese category, I can say that the gyms I've been to have never felt like grade school. It's always been a warm, pleasant atmosphere where the staff and other gym goers are helpful, especially if you aren't sure what to do. There's tons of stuff that I still can't do and I've never once been made fun of.
This makes me exceptionally sad.
I see so many women on this site who are on the cusp of being brave enough and launching themselves into better overall fitness and someone comes along and announces that the gym is nothing more than an exclusive clubhouse filled with an insensitive crowd of indecent bullies who gang up on overweight people by calling names and alienating them.
That is not a gym.
That is not how you see a gym when you are there 3-5 days a week for years and years. You see it as a safe haven. A second home. Somewhere to run to when you are alone and broken and defeated and unloved. Somewhere you can gather yourself before a fight. Your secret lair. Your BatCave. shared with your brothers in arms.
People don't go to the gym to point and laugh at people who are starting.
People who frequent gyms also know a bit of the timing of the demographics that roll through the gym as well.
In the evenings on Thursday/Friday nights and Saturday afternoons - it's a social arena. It's when the flirting and the joking and the playing happens. Between 2 and 4:30, its the highschool kids.
If THESE are the demographics you are avoiding, then recognize that is the goals and habits of certain people at certain times that you would prefer to avoid - that it isnt THE BIG EVIL GYM FULL OF BULLIES.
yall break my heart.
You see your gym as a "safe haven?" "A second home?" Is this for real?
I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that no one's going to assault me in my gym, but I don't ask for much else. I typically notice other people only when they're playing with their phones, while sitting at my next station.
Someone's life must indeed be lacking, if they're going to a gym for emotional support.
The gym can be a way better stress reliever than other behaviors. Also people are very dedicated that the gym is a safe haven for them. I go to the gym more than I see a lot of family and friends.0 -
You see your gym as a "safe haven?" "A second home?" Is this for real?
I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that no one's going to assault me in my gym, but I don't ask for much else. I typically notice other people only when they're playing with their phones, while sitting at my next station.
Someone's life must indeed be lacking, if they're going to a gym for emotional support.
Are you for real?
My gym IS my safe haven. It's where I got strong, it's where I met friends, it's where I found myself. Just because you haven't had a similar experience, doesn't mean my life is lacking.
What an ignorant post.-1 -
People who love and enjoy and feel great at the gym, congrats to you! That's awesome!
People who dislike the gym and drag themselves there anyway despite the challenge, congrats to you! That's awesome!
People who dislike the gym and have found alternative ways to incorporate exercise into their lives, congrats to you, that's awesome!
People like the OP who are just starting out and are focusing on eating healthy, and maybe aren't quite there yet in terms of the value of exercise (but will likely get there with time), congrats to you, that's awesome!
Different strokes for different folks. The important thing is to be happy and healthy.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »I remember being a noob. We do not forget those things. I remember benching my very first time at 95 pounds. I also remember being the same weight I am now if not more when I first started lifting when I was 17. Did I feel this pressure others feel going to the gym with the in shape. I have to say I never felt like I was not welcome in a gym. I felt not welcome in a bar which is another story.
I hate generalizations... but I suspect it's different for most men than it is for most women.
I've very often felt very unwelcome in a gym. Not so much in a bar.
So people still laugh at the person who cannot perform to a certain physical level. Is the gym like grade school back when I was five?
As a woman who started going to the gym while in the morbidly obese category, I can say that the gyms I've been to have never felt like grade school. It's always been a warm, pleasant atmosphere where the staff and other gym goers are helpful, especially if you aren't sure what to do. There's tons of stuff that I still can't do and I've never once been made fun of.
This makes me exceptionally sad.
I see so many women on this site who are on the cusp of being brave enough and launching themselves into better overall fitness and someone comes along and announces that the gym is nothing more than an exclusive clubhouse filled with an insensitive crowd of indecent bullies who gang up on overweight people by calling names and alienating them.
That is not a gym.
That is not how you see a gym when you are there 3-5 days a week for years and years. You see it as a safe haven. A second home. Somewhere to run to when you are alone and broken and defeated and unloved. Somewhere you can gather yourself before a fight. Your secret lair. Your BatCave. shared with your brothers in arms.
People don't go to the gym to point and laugh at people who are starting.
People who frequent gyms also know a bit of the timing of the demographics that roll through the gym as well.
In the evenings on Thursday/Friday nights and Saturday afternoons - it's a social arena. It's when the flirting and the joking and the playing happens. Between 2 and 4:30, its the highschool kids.
If THESE are the demographics you are avoiding, then recognize that is the goals and habits of certain people at certain times that you would prefer to avoid - that it isnt THE BIG EVIL GYM FULL OF BULLIES.
yall break my heart.
It makes you sad that I went to the gym and had a positive experience? o.O
Or were you replying to what I was replying to?
All I was trying to say, is that I went to the gym, with the fear that I would be ridiculed but instead found a warm, fun atmosphere filled with help. I never once said that it was an exclusive clubhouse. Heck, I was trying to encourage the OP to workout by stating that it's not as scary as you may think.
EDIT: Reading through other replies and seeing that OP will try to workout, Yay! That brightens my day! Don't get discouraged, it takes a bit of time to get used to it!
i was replying to what you were replying to. Obviously I wasn't saddened by someone having a good gym experience.
this is why i hate this place.
That's why I asked because you had me as the last reply.
It's great to hear that you weren't saddened by that. 0 -
LyndseyLovesToLift wrote: »But...but....exercise means you get to eat more. Therefore, exercise = awesome. Sure, you can lose weight without exercise, but I don't know who would feel good after sitting on their butt all day.
Considering this is MyFITNESSPal, I'd say most of us exercise. Perhaps on the WeightWatcher or Atkins forums...
Exercising so a person can eat more has never made sense to me, because it still supports that " eat as much as you can " lifestyle. I exercise moderately to improve my health and for me that does not include eating more ( not even my exercise calories ) just because I can and the food is there.
I can't speak for everyone, but in my case (age 48, 5'3", 176 lbs), in order to lose these last 40+ lbs I can't net more than 1400 calories. If I don't exercise and I have to eat that little I get hungry and cranky and that's not good for anyone. Those extra 200 calories I burn make a big difference!0 -
LiminalAscendance wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »I remember being a noob. We do not forget those things. I remember benching my very first time at 95 pounds. I also remember being the same weight I am now if not more when I first started lifting when I was 17. Did I feel this pressure others feel going to the gym with the in shape. I have to say I never felt like I was not welcome in a gym. I felt not welcome in a bar which is another story.
I hate generalizations... but I suspect it's different for most men than it is for most women.
I've very often felt very unwelcome in a gym. Not so much in a bar.
So people still laugh at the person who cannot perform to a certain physical level. Is the gym like grade school back when I was five?
As a woman who started going to the gym while in the morbidly obese category, I can say that the gyms I've been to have never felt like grade school. It's always been a warm, pleasant atmosphere where the staff and other gym goers are helpful, especially if you aren't sure what to do. There's tons of stuff that I still can't do and I've never once been made fun of.
This makes me exceptionally sad.
I see so many women on this site who are on the cusp of being brave enough and launching themselves into better overall fitness and someone comes along and announces that the gym is nothing more than an exclusive clubhouse filled with an insensitive crowd of indecent bullies who gang up on overweight people by calling names and alienating them.
That is not a gym.
That is not how you see a gym when you are there 3-5 days a week for years and years. You see it as a safe haven. A second home. Somewhere to run to when you are alone and broken and defeated and unloved. Somewhere you can gather yourself before a fight. Your secret lair. Your BatCave. shared with your brothers in arms.
People don't go to the gym to point and laugh at people who are starting.
People who frequent gyms also know a bit of the timing of the demographics that roll through the gym as well.
In the evenings on Thursday/Friday nights and Saturday afternoons - it's a social arena. It's when the flirting and the joking and the playing happens. Between 2 and 4:30, its the highschool kids.
If THESE are the demographics you are avoiding, then recognize that is the goals and habits of certain people at certain times that you would prefer to avoid - that it isnt THE BIG EVIL GYM FULL OF BULLIES.
yall break my heart.
You see your gym as a "safe haven?" "A second home?" Is this for real?
I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that no one's going to assault me in my gym, but I don't ask for much else. I typically notice other people only when they're playing with their phones, while sitting at my next station.
Someone's life must indeed be lacking, if they're going to a gym for emotional support.
Well, I don't have any family. I'm single and don't have pets or children. NYC is a tough as nails place to live. I've made a haven out of the place where I can channel my worries and fears into self-improvement.
I guess in your eyes, this means my life is entirely empty. I'm sad that so many people have such a close minded view of what constitutes a full and satisfying life. I would have thought that, by now, people in general were more tolerant of people finding their own happy way through life via non-traditional routes.
But consider your desire/aim to inflict emotional pain on a happy stranger this morning, in public, as a success.
+1
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LiminalAscendance wrote: »You see your gym as a "safe haven?" "A second home?" Is this for real?
I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that no one's going to assault me in my gym, but I don't ask for much else. I typically notice other people only when they're playing with their phones, while sitting at my next station.
Someone's life must indeed be lacking, if they're going to a gym for emotional support.
Wha??? You really think it's appropriate to judge how someone else finds happiness, provided it's not hurting someone else? Seriously?
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LiminalAscendance wrote: »You see your gym as a "safe haven?" "A second home?" Is this for real?
I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that no one's going to assault me in my gym, but I don't ask for much else. I typically notice other people only when they're playing with their phones, while sitting at my next station.
Someone's life must indeed be lacking, if they're going to a gym for emotional support.
my life is certainly not lacking and i see the gym as a second home as well.
i'm there 5-6 nights a week, i have friends there with similar interests, if i'm down it's a great place to go be distracted and kick *kitten*, if i'm up it's a great place to go use that energy to kick *kitten*.
if i viewed the gym as a chore that i did with little emotion in a robotic fashion, i can almost guarantee i would not have found success in it.
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You know what's funny? The mods are too busy kicking Yoovie out to do anything about this post.
For the record, I think all posts should stand on their own merit. Let the poster defend it.0 -
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yopeeps025 wrote: »
Well, of course. Because we are being nannied now by the MFP police. I just think it's amusing that drivel like "people who love the gym are lame" stands, but Yoovie's posts are considered so offensive, she has to be banned. It's outrageous and it smacks of personal vendetta.
You gave me something to do today. Search for her post before they get deleted.
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I love the gym! I block everything out, its just me and the iron! Its very satisfying, and helps you feel positive. Also, when you burn a lot of calories, you can be flexible with your diet, if I want some ice cream or a treat, I don't worry about it hindering my progress due to all the calories burned!0
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Don't say that about yourself! Its not true! My girl has a gym membership, doesn't use it as much as I would like,but when she gets sweaty, I find it sexy as hell lol! We all have imperfections,learn to love yourself, it will make you irresistable! The gym is not a place where you get ridiculed, it a place where you get support and motivation, give it an honest try! Good luck!malavika413 wrote: »An update on my end. My fitness-averse boyfriend decided he wanted to work out with me. Despite the fact that I'm very very nervous about sweating in front of him, or in front of other people in general, I'm going to give it a shot. We're going to try out the C25K thing on Saturday and see if we want to complete the program. I just really hope I don't chicken out (I've chickened out before) because I'm scared of being out of shape in front of him. Yes, he's out of shape too, but he's not chubby and gross.
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I understand this post. I hate seeing "blah blah did 57864 minutes of whatever" and all the feed on my board. I like similar-energied folks, too. However, I get overwhelmed even just by having pals on here, but I wanted to just send this feedback, as I also agree people on here & out in the world can be too pushy w/their life styles and nothing is wrong w/having a different temperament.0
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AnitaCRice wrote: »I don't believe the OP was asking for ways to incorporate exercise into her daily life, or for any exercise ideas. She doesn't want to exercise, and that's her decision. Not her priority, and I understand that. She's looking for like-minded people to become MFP friends.
That being said, I do exercise, so I am not one of those. But I wish you the best of luck with your weight/fitness goals!
Perfectly stated.0 -
patchwork_flute wrote: »I understand this post. I hate seeing "blah blah did 57864 minutes of whatever" and all the feed on my board. I like similar-energied folks, too. However, I get overwhelmed even just by having pals on here, but I wanted to just send this feedback, as I also agree people on here & out in the world can be too pushy w/their life styles and nothing is wrong w/having a different temperament.
Why do you hate seeing people's workouts posted? Hate's a pretty strong word. Why even be friends with them then?0 -
patchwork_flute wrote: »I understand this post. I hate seeing "blah blah did 57864 minutes of whatever" and all the feed on my board. I like similar-energied folks, too. However, I get overwhelmed even just by having pals on here, but I wanted to just send this feedback, as I also agree people on here & out in the world can be too pushy w/their life styles and nothing is wrong w/having a different temperament.
Did you read the thread?0
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