The LATEST diet

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  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    No, no, no. This simply won't do. How can you expect to inspire cult like devotion and flog thousands of units of books, videos and supplements with a clear, sensible and easily accessible guidelines which allows for flexibility?

    And the "Human Diet." That is no way a sexy enough title. It will not allow true believers to be awarded for their devotion by believing they are part of an exclusive group which has access to cutting edge info that "they" do not want you to know about. How about "The Genome Andrenoceptor Diet" instead? Nothing like some impressive sounding technical jargon.

    Now the only thing left to do is set myself up as a guru (hmmm, I'm thinking purple robes with gold filiigree and some kind of orange turban,) ensure my word is never questioned and the individual is always wrong, employ cult speak, cut off exit strategies for the devoted, suppress dissent, enforce thinking conformity, embrace irrationality, and personally attack critics. Pffft, I can do that in my sleep.

    Then I can sit back and watch the profits roll in. Oh, I may need to ensure SHBoss mysteriously disappears so I can plagarise his work but that can be arranged. Mwhahahahaha
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    Love it. Although, calling it the "Human Diet" made me think of cannibalism... so I'm on board with "Common Sense" :smile:


    Cannibalism? where's your brain at? :noway:

    lol

    human diet, common sense diet, 6 of 1 I'm fine with either. How about the "Not a diet" diet
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    No, no, no. This simply won't do. How can you expect to inspire cult like devotion and flog thousands of units of books, videos and supplements with a clear, sensible and easily accessible guidelines which allows for flexibility?

    And the "Human Diet." That is no way a sexy enough title. It will not allow true believers to be awarded for their devotion by believing they are part of an exclusive group which has access to cutting edge info that "they" do not want you to know about. How about "The Genome Andrenoceptor Diet" instead? Nothing like some impressive sounding technical jargon.

    Now the only thing left to do is set myself up as a guru (hmmm, I'm thinking purple robes with gold filiigree and some kind of orange turban,) ensure my word is never questioned and the individual is always wrong, employ cult speak, cut off exit strategies for the devoted, suppress dissent, enforce thinking conformity, embrace irrationality, and personally attack critics. Pffft, I can do that in my sleep.

    Then I can sit back and watch the profits roll in. Oh, I may need to ensure SHBoss mysteriously disappears so I can plagarise his work but that can be arranged. Mwhahahahaha

    LOL, you've thought this through way to much, should I be nervous? All I want is a percentage of the pyramid sales. :tongue:
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
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    No, no, no. This simply won't do. How can you expect to inspire cult like devotion and flog thousands of units of books, videos and supplements with a clear, sensible and easily accessible guidelines which allows for flexibility?

    And the "Human Diet." That is no way a sexy enough title. It will not allow true believers to be awarded for their devotion by believing they are part of an exclusive group which has access to cutting edge info that "they" do not want you to know about. How about "The Genome Andrenoceptor Diet" instead? Nothing like some impressive sounding technical jargon.

    Now the only thing left to do is set myself up as a guru (hmmm, I'm thinking purple robes with gold filiigree and some kind of orange turban,) ensure my word is never questioned and the individual is always wrong, employ cult speak, cut off exit strategies for the devoted, suppress dissent, enforce thinking conformity, embrace irrationality, and personally attack critics. Pffft, I can do that in my sleep.

    Then I can sit back and watch the profits roll in. Oh, I may need to ensure SHBoss mysteriously disappears so I can plagarise his work but that can be arranged. Mwhahahahaha

    You left out "Establish MLM sales force"
  • Fit4Vet
    Fit4Vet Posts: 610 Member
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    Hilarious! Perfect. I'm all in. Where do I slide my credit card?
  • Scubasab
    Scubasab Posts: 344 Member
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    Absolutely LOVE reading your posts!!!!!
  • FluttershySweetie
    FluttershySweetie Posts: 216 Member
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    There are a lot of fad diets out there, I have made a brand new diet up. here's how it goes. I haven't named this diet yet,
    maybe we can call it the HUMAN diet, or the everyone diet or something.

    First, confirm that you have no medical conditions that require a specialized diet (if you do, then obviously this may not be
    exactly right for you, no need to comment about that, we get it already).

    Rules:

    -Eat as much food in their natural states as you can (I.E. unprocessed, not ground up, not cooked to death)
    -Eat a reasonable amount of healthy fats (somewhere between 12% and 25% of your daily macronutrients)
    -Eat a reasonable amount of complete proteins (somewhere between 15% and 35%) every day.
    -Eat a reasonable amount of carbohydrates (somewhere around 40% and 60% with 90% of those being complex carbs)
    -Eat as little added sugar as possible.
    -Try to eat 100% of all required micronutrients (vitamins and minerals) every day.
    -Do not use meal replacements (in stead of meals, they can be used supplemental).
    -Do 30 to 45 minutes of moderate cardiovascular exercise a day for 3 days a week (65-80% of your maximum HR)
    -Do 2 to 3 days a week of resistance exercise (weight training or anaerobic activity)

    Addendum for weight loss:
    -Eat at a moderate NET calorie deficit in proper relation to how much FAT you have
    -Stop expecting massive changes in weeks.

    Timeline:
    Step 1) Start doing all of the above.
    Step 2) live a full and healthy life, and eventually die as an old, old person that has lived a long and healthy life.



    Testimonials:
    -Just about 99.5% of Olympic athletes
    -Just about 99.5% of professional athletes
    -About 95% of Nutritional health professionals
    -About 95% of Medical doctors
    -About 99% of clinical researchers from the nutritional health realm

    Novel approach? Maybe, but it works, it's just not the quick fix that everyone wants.

    AWSOME!!!!!!! You just summed up the way I feel about food!!!!
  • parvati
    parvati Posts: 432 Member
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    Funny!
    This is exactly how people should eat but because there is no gimic or quick fix the majority of people won't go for it....good call calling it a "diet" tho...you might rope a few people in with that! lol
  • seansquared
    seansquared Posts: 328 Member
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    Is this meant to be a light, quasi-anecdotal approach to nutrition? Because the athletes, medical professionals, fitness professionals, and exercise nuts over at Bodybuilding.com would not agree at all that so little come from fats and proteins and so much come from carbs.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    You left out "Establish MLM sales force"

    Aha! The final piece of my masterplan (I'm afraid you may have to conveniently disappear as well. No hard feelings you understand.)

    I am currently recruiting for "Genome Andrenoceptor" Trainers. Qualifications: none apart from the ability to be truly annoying.

    stewie.jpg
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    Is this meant to be a light, quasi-anecdotal approach to nutrition? Because the athletes, medical professionals, fitness professionals, and exercise nuts over at Bodybuilding.com would not agree at all that so little come from fats and proteins and so much come from carbs.

    Which is why I don't get my nutritional information from bodybuilding.com. I get mine from the nationally accredited National Strength and Conditioning Association or the US Olympic team website sometimes. (when we're talking about athletes, otherwise I usually lean towards University level text or recognized experts in a field).

    FYI, body builders are notorious for having very invasive nutrition practices that are focused on the extreme results in a minimum of time. You need to be very very careful about that type of resource. Not saying there aren't smart people on there, just saying their goals aren't necessarily long term health and wellness.
  • Steph_Marie29
    Steph_Marie29 Posts: 75
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    Hmmm. That sounds interesting
  • seansquared
    seansquared Posts: 328 Member
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    Which is why I don't get my nutritional information from bodybuilding.com. I get mine from the nationally accredited National Strength and Conditioning Association or the US Olympic team website sometimes. (when we're talking about athletes, otherwise I usually lean towards University level text or recognized experts in a field).

    Interesting. Digging through NSCA docs does show a whopping 40-60% carbs. Surprising to me as an individual dieter, though for athletes who constantly need fuel that does make perfect sense.
    FYI, body builders are notorious for having very invasive nutrition practices that are focused on the extreme results in a minimum of time. You need to be very very careful about that type of resource. Not saying there aren't smart people on there, just saying their goals aren't necessarily long term health and wellness.

    I think the number of long-term low-carb athletes speaks volumes. Still, the number of high-carb ones does the same!
  • susioryan
    susioryan Posts: 180
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    Fabulous!
  • atomdraco
    atomdraco Posts: 1,083 Member
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    check, check, check, .... Awesome post!
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    Which is why I don't get my nutritional information from bodybuilding.com. I get mine from the nationally accredited National Strength and Conditioning Association or the US Olympic team website sometimes. (when we're talking about athletes, otherwise I usually lean towards University level text or recognized experts in a field).

    Interesting. Digging through NSCA docs does show a whopping 40-60% carbs. Surprising to me as an individual dieter, though for athletes who constantly need fuel that does make perfect sense.
    FYI, body builders are notorious for having very invasive nutrition practices that are focused on the extreme results in a minimum of time. You need to be very very careful about that type of resource. Not saying there aren't smart people on there, just saying their goals aren't necessarily long term health and wellness.

    I think the number of long-term low-carb athletes speaks volumes. Still, the number of high-carb ones does the same!

    I'm not sure that I know of a lot of long term, low carb athletes.

    Specific to body building, low carb (specifically, many go ketogenic in this phase) is used primarily in the cut phase to help reduce water weight. And while yes, some body builders do prefer high protein diets, all the research I've ever seen has shown that anything above about 35% protein isn't utilized for muscle repair or growth anyway, so eating high percentages of protein (40% and up) is basically the same as eating the extra in complex carbs or fat. Well, not exactly the same, but similar in that it'll just be converted to energy. Remember, the body won't store excess protein, it'll convert it. In fact the body won't store any macronutrients in their original form, all unused macronutrients are either eliminated (a very small percentage) or stored as fat, for later conversion to energy.

    There's no substantial proof that ketogenic diets burn any more fat than a normal diet. The one argument about high protein that has a modest amount of validity is the thermogenic effect it has. It takes slightly more energy to convert protein than it does carbs and/or fat, but the difference is super small, you're talking about 20 to 50 calories a day extra. And that's if you talk about very large % differences (say 10 or 15% or more)
  • EbonyGemstoneHealth
    EbonyGemstoneHealth Posts: 249 Member
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    Bump!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,058 Member
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    mynewfavoritepost.png


    Well, three posts. SHBoss, JulieF11, and the cult-leader guy.
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    LOL, Cheryl, you always have the coolest bump images. You need a hobby lady! :tongue:
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,058 Member
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    I actually made that one My Favorite Post- .........you're not gonna find that on Emos.com.

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