Do I tell her she's gaining?
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Alatariel75 wrote: »ctalimenti wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »ctalimenti wrote: »PrizePopple wrote: »It's been almost a year since the OP.... I want to know if OP told her or not.
Nope, didn't want to take the risk. She's too sensitive and would whine to the world about me. Lost interest.
Did she keep gaining?
Absolutely, probably 20 more lbs.
To be fair, she probably would have even if you said something.
TOTALLY agree.
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What she was really asking was for you to tell if her if becomes *obvious* that she's gaining weight - because it's so, so easy to pretend it's not happening or that no one has noticed. Look at how many people on this site admit they were walking around in denial, thinking they somehow "carried it well" or "weren't that fat" until a long-avoided weigh-in or an unflattering photo opened their eyes. She sounds to me like a woman who knows herself well enough to ask for a little tough love.
yeah, this0 -
A women will say "you let me know I prefer the truth" and thats a straight lie, they want to hear nice things making the first statement to their ears the absolute compliment (and the truth).
Doesn't work the over way around.
Remember Snow white? you do not want to be the mirror..
stay silent brother. she will take this badly and you gonna be the bad insensitive guy.
Unless you have a personal investment in the matter (you know what I mean) you stay silent FOREVER. If she asks you, compliment her, and say she is definitely hot and say maybe a couple poundsssss..... but she looks even better this way.
This will send alarm bells..the only ones you can afford
wut. nope.0 -
A women will say "you let me know I prefer the truth" and thats a straight lie, they want to hear nice things making the first statement to their ears the absolute compliment (and the truth).
Doesn't work the over way around.
Remember Snow white? you do not want to be the mirror..
stay silent brother. she will take this badly and you gonna be the bad insensitive guy.
Unless you have a personal investment in the matter (you know what I mean) you stay silent FOREVER. If she asks you, compliment her, and say she is definitely hot and say maybe a couple poundsssss..... but she looks even better this way.
This will send alarm bells..the only ones you can afford
wut. nope.
LOL
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do it this way."gee.youre.looking really healthy...have you put on a little weight? yyou're.looking great!"0
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kathleenlchristiannz wrote: »do it this way."gee.youre.looking really healthy...have you put on a little weight? yyou're.looking great!"
Oh sureeeeee!
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she might have forgotten that she said this to you and I'm pretty sure she will know herself, every woman knows when they are putting on weight so its not your job to tell her or anyone, i certainly wouldnt0
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I'm actually surprised by the number of people who say they wouldn't. Don't get me wrong, I am not blaming the OP for not having said it, and I also agree that she would probably have gained the 20 pounds since this discussion was started a couple of years ago, whether the OP had said something or not. I was just figuring that statistically with all the users in the site there would be at least a few more like me who totally would have. I mean, she did ask. There are ways in love (of any kind, relatives, friends etc) to be honest and to show you care and don't judge her at the same time.0
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Maybe don't tell her directly...ask for her to be your workout buddy...or talk about needing a healthy eating pal to keep you on track and see if she is interested. No one like hearing it, but there are ways to nudge at it so that she can stop gaining and you guys could help keep each other in check.0
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You know what people always said to me when I was gaining weight? They would ask me if I had LOST weight. It didn't take me long to figure out that they were just fishing for me to say, "Oh God no, I've gained SO much!" Then they'd sheepishly tell me it didn't show, and it got awkward from there.
I agree with those who say don't tell her, because no one knows better than she does. The only real way to tell her is to get a photo of her that wakes her up. That's what did it for me. Photos can snap us out of our state of denial. Let her see it for herself.0 -
ctalimenti wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »ctalimenti wrote: »PrizePopple wrote: »It's been almost a year since the OP.... I want to know if OP told her or not.
Nope, didn't want to take the risk. She's too sensitive and would whine to the world about me. Lost interest.
Did she keep gaining?
Absolutely, probably 20 more lbs.
Wow, that's too bad.0 -
Seriously, she knows she's gained. If she's not ready to be honest with herself and deal with it, no amount of reminders from other people will make a difference.0
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You DO NOT want to have that conversation with a women EVER...
NEVER EVER tell a woman she is getting well... fat
Smart man. ^^^^^^ She knows if she's gaining. Maybe offer to work out with her without mentioning her weight. And next time some one asks you to do something like this, say hell no right up front!0
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