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"Can't you just be normal?"
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I don't get what? That all of you are making assumptions about this young lady that you don't know? That someone could look at any one of us and think we are abnormal for various reasons? I am guessing that most of you are not licensed professionals so to talk of diagnosis at all is not really within your scope of knowledge.
When the OP admits to an unhealthy relationship with food, anxieties, and obsessions ... the resulting posts to her are not based on assumptions.0 -
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Pretty much.
But I thought the issue is why does the boyfriend eat out all the time. I cannot believe someone even brought that up as an issue. Even better the boyfriend should be seeking a chef and therapist. I must be in the
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OP get a new boyfriend.0
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Sometimes I feel to lazy to make my bacon and eggs in the morning so I go and buy bacon and eggs on a roll. Brb....seeking out therapy.
Stop stuffing your face and get a professional chef for your issues!!!!! :laugh:0 -
I can't believe I just wasted 15 minutes of my life (that I'll never get back) reading this ridiculous thread.0
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yopeeps025 wrote: »
Well who fault is that?
Obviously mine. I should probably seek professional help.
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Did OP say why she started counting calories at age 12?0
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Get help with food anxiety issues, tell boyfriend there's no such thing as normal.0
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Was about to make a joke but decided against it.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »
I like jokes.0 -
Yeah, let me go hire a chef instead of spending 4 dollars at the store.
Now I want a bodega BAC sandwich on a roll.... I think I need professional help.0 -
I like jokes.
Well since I'm in school following a path of clinical psychologist I rather not joke about this stuff because yeah it can be fake but if this person is real it's like wow. The whole reason why I am choosing this profession is to help people like OP.
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In summary:
1. Many people suggest that you should see a counselor to help you with the anxiety you have around food
2. A few people have suggested ways for you to have more freedom around food such as preplanning the restaurant meals, and letting go of calorie counting altogether.
3. A few people have talked about the role of friends in your life and there has been some controversy about the role of food and dining in your relationship with your boyfriend.
4. Some people have expressed concern for you. They do not want to see you develop a life-threatening eating disorder.
5. A whole lot of people have argued with each other about which advice is the best.
So here's what I think you could consider as action steps:
1. Decide whether you want to seek professional help to reduce your anxiety around food.
2. Decide whether you want to change your approach to to calorie counting and meals out. You could try something different for just a few weeks and see if it works. If it doesn't work or you have too much anxiety or other difficulties, you could stop what you are doing and try something else or see a counselor. If you decide to see a counselor, they may have suggestions for you.
3. See if there is something you want to have happen in your relationship with your boyfriend. You might decide that a conversation with him around your concerns would be helpful to your relationship.
Change is possible. Transformation is even better. You can free yourself of the anxiety you have and develop a greater freedom and happiness. Good luck. 0 -
What makes it abnormal to eat out so much? Because you say so? Who told you that you make life's decisions on what is normal and what isn't? I eat at least 2 of my meals every day outside of my home, that's normal for me so who are you to say it's abnormal.
Also, who cares what they are ordering? What difference does it make?
I also eat two of my meals outside of my home. At least I do so Monday through Friday. This is normal for me as well as for my co-workers. Not many people brown-bagging it in NYC. Not that there is anything wrong with bringing your food from home. That would be the better option. But we don't. Thank you, Seamless.com.
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The question to ask youself is "am i comfortable with my relationship with food" and if the answer is yes...forget about what others think. most of america is very unhealthy because they eat out all the time...unhealthy and broke. Anxiety in general in another issue and can be dealt with in many ways including talking to a professional. Be good with yourself and forget what others think...be happy with your own healthy choices. and feeding yrself well is a very healthy thing to do. in my opinion.0
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If I'm included in that group, sorry I wasn't trying to "jump on people". I understand what people are saying (and I did start super young which made it more of a lifestyle I'm used to rather than just a tool). I just feel like counting calories in general the way people on MFP do it isn't normal- not just me. The average person doesn't weigh their bananas. Which is fine, I'm not saying one is better than the other. I'm saying in relation to this community I don't feel abnormal cause I do what everyone does. I might be more anal about it or emotionally tied to it or more specific, whatever you want to say but in the end everyone says "log everything, weigh everything on here". People off MFP do not. Therefore since people who don't weigh their food outnumber those who do, weighing and tracking calories is not the norm making it not "normal" among others. I'm sure many people on MFP get weird looks from friends, family, coworkers when they see them weighing an apple or their raisins or whatever.
The people who say these things haven't spent their entire lives very thin and fit. It's normal for people to say this to OVERWEIGHT people because we obviously have been overeating and need to control our portions better and learn better habits! I certainly wouldn't tell a thin person, who has never had any weight issues that they "better watch their portions" and "count and weigh everything."
That is a little out of the ordinary. Of course, your BF eating out every day is not normal or healthy either. So, maybe a happy medium?
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laurielima wrote: »The question to ask youself is "am i comfortable with my relationship with food" and if the answer is yes...forget about what others think. most of america is very unhealthy because they eat out all the time...unhealthy and broke. Anxiety in general in another issue and can be dealt with in many ways including talking to a professional. Be good with yourself and forget what others think...be happy with your own healthy choices. and feeding yrself well is a very healthy thing to do. in my opinion.
Did you read the OP and her other comments?
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yopeeps025 wrote: »
Did you read the OP and her other comments?
I will bet my bacon, egg and cheese sandwich that the answer is "no".0 -
laurielima wrote: »The question to ask youself is "am i comfortable with my relationship with food"
That was already asked and responded to in the negative on page 1.
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Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »
LOL so heated and what your talking about is not even the issue at hand.
This is heated?
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It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
I like you.0 -
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...0 -
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
Why is this being talked about? What does OP have to gain from talking about her boyfriend eating out. That's not the issue or even close to the issue.
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