I have the WORST dating history of all time
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The last guy I was talking to decided to cancel our date when I refused to hang out with him alone, on a deserted back road.
Yeah, I watch a lot of horror movies and a few Lifetime movies. I know how this ends.
Seriously?
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well, I have a few recent stories to add to this.
I went on a date with a guy i met in a bar, text me all week in the lead up to it, date went well then never heard from him again. I understand if I didn't look quite like the girl the beer-goggles had you believe i was but at least have the decency to tell me you're not interested.
I've given the online dating thing a shot too. One site was a real eye-opener. I had guys say things in their opening message things like "chrissy deserves it in her skinny ***" and I'm sorry if that's how these guys ( yes more than one sent me messages like that without even so much as a 'hello') start interactions with women, I'm not surprised they're single...
That said, I am now messaging someone else I met online and we've hit it off brilliantly, got a lot in common and I'm hoping he is as great as he seems. Time will tell I guess.
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Thread has been cleaned. If we could not do…whatever that was again, that'd be great.0 -
This thread drives me a little nuts. I volunteer with a local non profit group that promotes science education for kids. Every week, there are at least half a dozen single guys there between twenty-five and thirty-five. These are smart guys with good jobs, most of whom have advanced degrees, and spend their weekends volunteering with kids, and I'd be surprised to find out that more than one of them has a date this weekend.
The good guys are out there, but part of what makes them good guys is that they aren't making a point of going out chasing women. They're living lives they like, working on the things that interest them and that they find important. When they date, it's because they met someone doing one of those things, and they have a lot in common with them.
I think the idea of going out looking for "good guys," or "good girls" is one of those things that is inherently flawed because that isn't how those groups meet people. The best way to meet someone who is going to fit you is to get out and do the stuff you like, and magically you'll end up around a bunch of people who like what you like and value the things that you value.0 -
FoCoAlphaNerd wrote: »This thread drives me a little nuts. I volunteer with a local non profit group that promotes science education for kids. Every week, there are at least half a dozen single guys there between twenty-five and thirty-five. These are smart guys with good jobs, most of whom have advanced degrees, and spend their weekends volunteering with kids, and I'd be surprised to find out that more than one of them has a date this weekend.
The good guys are out there, but part of what makes them good guys is that they aren't making a point of going out chasing women. They're living lives they like, working on the things that interest them and that they find important. When they date, it's because they met someone doing one of those things, and they have a lot in common with them.
I think the idea of going out looking for "good guys," or "good girls" is one of those things that is inherently flawed because that isn't how those groups meet people. The best way to meet someone who is going to fit you is to get out and do the stuff you like, and magically you'll end up around a bunch of people who like what you like and value the things that you value.
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I'm right there with ya. Want to laugh? Check out this gem of an exchange I had with a dude from Match. Seriously, you can't make this sh&t up.
imgur.com/a/15b6g
Keep on, keeping on.
Why do people split one text message into 3 separate ones?
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FoCoAlphaNerd wrote: »This thread drives me a little nuts. I volunteer with a local non profit group that promotes science education for kids. Every week, there are at least half a dozen single guys there between twenty-five and thirty-five. These are smart guys with good jobs, most of whom have advanced degrees, and spend their weekends volunteering with kids, and I'd be surprised to find out that more than one of them has a date this weekend.
The good guys are out there, but part of what makes them good guys is that they aren't making a point of going out chasing women. They're living lives they like, working on the things that interest them and that they find important. When they date, it's because they met someone doing one of those things, and they have a lot in common with them.
I think the idea of going out looking for "good guys," or "good girls" is one of those things that is inherently flawed because that isn't how those groups meet people. The best way to meet someone who is going to fit you is to get out and do the stuff you like, and magically you'll end up around a bunch of people who like what you like and value the things that you value.
This. A thousand times this. The relationships I look back on the fondest all started from a friendship that was initially formed over some sort of mutual interest. But pretty much every nightmare date story I have comes from when I was actively looking for someone.0 -
LOL. Maybe?
I probably should have ended the convo there but....I like comedy.
Plus, then I would have missed how he texts all his exes for the sex. ALL REJECTED. ALL IGNORED.
Please, where do I sign up for this awesome treatment?0 -
Afzgyopeeps025 wrote: »CJisinShape wrote: »I think it's what's been "sold" to women: to be equal to a man, one should be like a man. It's total crap, and both genders miss out. Unmarried women should not be putting out at such a rate that single men think if they spend money they should get sex.
That's not dating, it's something else, and the entire culture suffers for it, not just women. I had a friend complain, sorrowfully, about the meaninglessness of his hookups (good news - he finally found a wife!) Men need real relationships too, and benefit greatly from marriage.
Hook-up culture is a terrible lie that says you can get your needs met without the effort of a relationship. The problem with that is that people's deeper needs are being neglected. We are not animals evolved from other animals that need to behave in animalistic ways. When we behave in this way, (which most of us do from time to time), unhappiness results, because deep down we know we are better, we are made for better things.
Only problem with "hook-up culture" is when both adults don't consent. Something tells me that your view on open marriages and swingers would be interesting.
How about a more objective view?
Business Insider has an article that looks at marriage. One section has to do with open relationships. They scored lower than every other group: single, married, widowed, divorced or it's complicated. Open relationships don't make people happy. It just satisfies their sex organs to the detriment of their overall well-being.
http://www.businessinsider.com/interesting-facts-about-marriage-and-love-2012-7?op=1
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CJisinShape wrote: »I think it's what's been "sold" to women: to be equal to a man, one should be like a man. It's total crap, and both genders miss out. Unmarried women should not be putting out at such a rate that single men think if they spend money they should get sex.
Ignoring all of the other pieces of your statement that are based on your own personal preferences and needs, this is a terribly unfair restriction on women. How about this instead: Unmarried men should not be putting out at such a rate that single women...
You are basically blaming some perceived societal promiscuity solely on women. I don't understand that. I think true equality is in the treatment, i.e. a woman who chooses to "put out at such a rate that" they are being "like a man," just shouldn't be judged as sluts while the men get a pass.
I'm having trouble wording this morning, so let me know if I need to restate that for clarity.0 -
scottacular wrote: »I was going to join this thread as a late comer and say I literally don't know how to meet people anymore. But clearly s**t's going down here.
I was gonna join late too but then I was like... hmm looks too intense.
But now I'm gonna what I was gonna say anyways. The only person who has actively been trying to date me is 21 years older than me, which I find slightly strange since I'm just about to turn 21.0 -
tincanonastring wrote: »CJisinShape wrote: »I think it's what's been "sold" to women: to be equal to a man, one should be like a man. It's total crap, and both genders miss out. Unmarried women should not be putting out at such a rate that single men think if they spend money they should get sex.
Ignoring all of the other pieces of your statement that are based on your own personal preferences and needs, this is a terribly unfair restriction on women. How about this instead: Unmarried men should not be putting out at such a rate that single women...
You are basically blaming some perceived societal promiscuity solely on women. I don't understand that. I think true equality is in the treatment, i.e. a woman who chooses to "put out at such a rate that" they are being "like a man," just shouldn't be judged as sluts while the men get a pass.
I'm having trouble wording this morning, so let me know if I need to restate that for clarity.
I can totally see and appreciate your response - that each sex should be held equally responsible for the promiscuousness in society. However, that is not reality, it's an ideal. In an ideal world, we wouldn't have this discussion at all - men would behave wonderfully and so would women, and they'd live happily ever after.
In the real world, you have to navigate all kinds of waters, not just ones with favorable winds.
Women have a certain leverage in relationships, men have another. Women who put out too soon and with too many partners diminishes her leverage, while the male keeps his own. Which, theoretically would be fine, except that women are making these decisions en masse, changing the whole dating game for all the players involved.
What used to require a great effort, expense, and commitment now requires very little and people have a tendency to place more value on what they worked hard to get vs. what comes easily.
So, the woman's sexuality has become devalued, because of large supply and cheap price.
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CJisinShape wrote: »Afzgyopeeps025 wrote: »CJisinShape wrote: »I think it's what's been "sold" to women: to be equal to a man, one should be like a man. It's total crap, and both genders miss out. Unmarried women should not be putting out at such a rate that single men think if they spend money they should get sex.
That's not dating, it's something else, and the entire culture suffers for it, not just women. I had a friend complain, sorrowfully, about the meaninglessness of his hookups (good news - he finally found a wife!) Men need real relationships too, and benefit greatly from marriage.
Hook-up culture is a terrible lie that says you can get your needs met without the effort of a relationship. The problem with that is that people's deeper needs are being neglected. We are not animals evolved from other animals that need to behave in animalistic ways. When we behave in this way, (which most of us do from time to time), unhappiness results, because deep down we know we are better, we are made for better things.
Only problem with "hook-up culture" is when both adults don't consent. Something tells me that your view on open marriages and swingers would be interesting.
How about a more objective view?
Business Insider has an article that looks at marriage. One section has to do with open relationships. They scored lower than every other group: single, married, widowed, divorced or it's complicated. Open relationships don't make people happy. It just satisfies their sex organs to the detriment of their overall well-being.
http://www.businessinsider.com/interesting-facts-about-marriage-and-love-2012-7?op=1
I wanted to hear your views because I knew it would be funny.
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And to be clear, men need to be taught how to keep it in their pants.0
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CJisinShape wrote: »And to be clear, men need to learn how to keep it in their pants. It doesn't absolve him of his own promiscuity.0
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CJisinShape wrote: »And to be clear, men need to be taught how to keep it in their pants.
WHAT?0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »CJisinShape wrote: »And to be clear, men need to be taught how to keep it in their pants.
WHAT?
What's your question?
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I agree and online dating is a cruel joke for women. I have male roommate that really enjoys it but for me its been really lame. I have also found that the men want to meet immediately after greeting you....um. no.0
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