My husband cheated on me...
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3dogsrunning wrote: »
And for the record, while the gif may be "so 2010", I don't get creeped out easily.0 -
myfelinepal wrote: »A few months go by i got over it. We became friends again, closer then ever. They broke up(NO SURPRISE THERE), a few months go by we where drinking i brought up the relationship thing again,she said "idk why i didn't give you a chance" i said "what about now?" she's like, "idk what i want." i said, "only one way to find out, let me kiss you", she said "if i kiss you it's because i want to, not right now, i don't feel it now.", but the dynamics of our relationship changed we where flirting and it looked like things where going. I was to happen. One day we wher flirtign i was caressing her face and hair. She said, "i am not used to this, it's flattering. It's nice" (she never been with a guy who truly appreciated her.)
Wow.
This is the creepiest paragraph I've ever read on MFP.
creepy: causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or unease.
False...
And just to inform you, the dynamics of courtship have changed in this day in age.
So, you feel you can judge what others are feeling?
That is a major part of your problem.
Feelings are personal and subjective to the person. You don't get to tell them what they're feeling.
I also found your post and described actions creepy and that's from your own viewpoint. I dread to think how the girl is feeling.
Because of the kiss? All that stuff happened the same day. As I said, if it was such a problem, She wouldn't have woken me up to an invite to the city... Should i have just grabbed her and kissed her and possibly violated her? That would have been better? And honestly, i told her later, "i don't really care if i kiss you, i was just flirting with you." I honestly don't care if i did. It was more to test the water if anything.
But i guess i should just have used her like other guys have, mentally abuse her and emotionally. Cheated on her like 4x like her ex did, and start arguing with her like the other guy she dated. Is that what you're recommending?
Yet i been there for her through thick and thin, When you really care for someone they can do no wrong in your eyes. That's how she was to me, she did no wrong in my eyes. The whole world would be mad at her, because of how misunderstood she is, not me. But women don't want that obviously. But according to everyone, that's all wrong. Thanks for the advice.
ETA: i know how she was feeling, I could see it on her face, when she would blush, smile, laugh...
Creepy.
Actually, from a physiological and biochemical perspective.. We accept stimuli from our 5 senses. Our mind processes the world around us. This triggers a biochemical process. Like baking a cake, there is a recipe. There is a biochemical order in which things are triggered which produce happiness/fear/anger/anxiety and all of our emotions. Our physiology reacts to our internal/mental processes. This is why people smile when they're happy, they can't control it. There is an output with our physiology based on our mental processes. Someone can say "I am mad" even if they're happy, someone can say "I am happy" when they're mad...
If someone is going through a full blown rage, are you going to say "they are happy?" according to some people on the forum, to say someone is happy when they're in this rage, is "creepy"! and we never know how someone feels. makes sense....
That's a lot of words to say "I'm being creepy"0 -
Well the remainder of us get it. The fact that you are unaware of what is wrong is very telling. It's also creepy as hell.0 -
But i won't be replying to this thread anymore for respect out of the OP.0
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myfelinepal wrote: »A few months go by i got over it. We became friends again, closer then ever. They broke up(NO SURPRISE THERE), a few months go by we where drinking i brought up the relationship thing again,she said "idk why i didn't give you a chance" i said "what about now?" she's like, "idk what i want." i said, "only one way to find out, let me kiss you", she said "if i kiss you it's because i want to, not right now, i don't feel it now.", but the dynamics of our relationship changed we where flirting and it looked like things where going. I was to happen. One day we wher flirtign i was caressing her face and hair. She said, "i am not used to this, it's flattering. It's nice" (she never been with a guy who truly appreciated her.)
Wow.
This is the creepiest paragraph I've ever read on MFP.
creepy: causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or unease.
False...
And just to inform you, the dynamics of courtship have changed in this day in age.
So, you feel you can judge what others are feeling?
That is a major part of your problem.
Feelings are personal and subjective to the person. You don't get to tell them what they're feeling.
I also found your post and described actions creepy and that's from your own viewpoint. I dread to think how the girl is feeling.
Because of the kiss? All that stuff happened the same day. As I said, if it was such a problem, She wouldn't have woken me up to an invite to the city... Should i have just grabbed her and kissed her and possibly violated her? That would have been better? And honestly, i told her later, "i don't really care if i kiss you, i was just flirting with you." I honestly don't care if i did. It was more to test the water if anything.
But i guess i should just have used her like other guys have, mentally abuse her and emotionally. Cheated on her like 4x like her ex did, and start arguing with her like the other guy she dated. Is that what you're recommending?
Yet i been there for her through thick and thin, When you really care for someone they can do no wrong in your eyes. That's how she was to me, she did no wrong in my eyes. The whole world would be mad at her, because of how misunderstood she is, not me. But women don't want that obviously. But according to everyone, that's all wrong. Thanks for the advice.
ETA: i know how she was feeling, I could see it on her face, when she would blush, smile, laugh...
Creepy.
Actually, from a physiological and biochemical perspective.. We accept stimuli from our 5 senses. Our mind processes the world around us. This triggers a biochemical process. Like baking a cake, there is a recipe. There is a biochemical order in which things are triggered which produce happiness/fear/anger/anxiety and all of our emotions. Our physiology reacts to our internal/mental processes. This is why people smile when they're happy, they can't control it. There is an output with our physiology based on our mental processes. Someone can say "I am mad" even if they're happy, someone can say "I am happy" when they're mad...
If someone is going through a full blown rage, are you going to say "they are happy?" according to some people on the forum, to say someone is happy when they're in this rage, is "creepy"! and we never know how someone feels. makes sense....
So how many restraining orders are active against you right now? Lemme guess, they just couldn't see how good you were for them and they just couldnt overcome their shallowness in order to see it.0 -
myfelinepal wrote: »A few months go by i got over it. We became friends again, closer then ever. They broke up(NO SURPRISE THERE), a few months go by we where drinking i brought up the relationship thing again,she said "idk why i didn't give you a chance" i said "what about now?" she's like, "idk what i want." i said, "only one way to find out, let me kiss you", she said "if i kiss you it's because i want to, not right now, i don't feel it now.", but the dynamics of our relationship changed we where flirting and it looked like things where going. I was to happen. One day we wher flirtign i was caressing her face and hair. She said, "i am not used to this, it's flattering. It's nice" (she never been with a guy who truly appreciated her.)
Wow.
This is the creepiest paragraph I've ever read on MFP.
creepy: causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or unease.
False...
And just to inform you, the dynamics of courtship have changed in this day in age.
So, you feel you can judge what others are feeling?
That is a major part of your problem.
Feelings are personal and subjective to the person. You don't get to tell them what they're feeling.
I also found your post and described actions creepy and that's from your own viewpoint. I dread to think how the girl is feeling.
Because of the kiss? All that stuff happened the same day. As I said, if it was such a problem, She wouldn't have woken me up to an invite to the city... Should i have just grabbed her and kissed her and possibly violated her? That would have been better? And honestly, i told her later, "i don't really care if i kiss you, i was just flirting with you." I honestly don't care if i did. It was more to test the water if anything.
But i guess i should just have used her like other guys have, mentally abuse her and emotionally. Cheated on her like 4x like her ex did, and start arguing with her like the other guy she dated. Is that what you're recommending?
Yet i been there for her through thick and thin, When you really care for someone they can do no wrong in your eyes. That's how she was to me, she did no wrong in my eyes. The whole world would be mad at her, because of how misunderstood she is, not me. But women don't want that obviously. But according to everyone, that's all wrong. Thanks for the advice.
ETA: i know how she was feeling, I could see it on her face, when she would blush, smile, laugh...
Creepy.
Actually, from a physiological and biochemical perspective.. We accept stimuli from our 5 senses. Our mind processes the world around us. This triggers a biochemical process. Like baking a cake, there is a recipe. There is a biochemical order in which things are triggered which produce happiness/fear/anger/anxiety and all of our emotions. Our physiology reacts to our internal/mental processes. This is why people smile when they're happy, they can't control it. There is an output with our physiology based on our mental processes. Someone can say "I am mad" even if they're happy, someone can say "I am happy" when they're mad...
If someone is going through a full blown rage, are you going to say "they are happy?" according to some people on the forum, to say someone is happy when they're in this rage, is "creepy"! and we never know how someone feels. makes sense....
And yet for all that you claim to know her, to the point that you disregard what she's telling you she's feeling in favor of what you think you see, you couldn't seem to get the hint that she didn't care for you that way and are still bemoaning how she shallowly did this and that.0 -
myfelinepal wrote: »A few months go by i got over it. We became friends again, closer then ever. They broke up(NO SURPRISE THERE), a few months go by we where drinking i brought up the relationship thing again,she said "idk why i didn't give you a chance" i said "what about now?" she's like, "idk what i want." i said, "only one way to find out, let me kiss you", she said "if i kiss you it's because i want to, not right now, i don't feel it now.", but the dynamics of our relationship changed we where flirting and it looked like things where going. I was to happen. One day we wher flirtign i was caressing her face and hair. She said, "i am not used to this, it's flattering. It's nice" (she never been with a guy who truly appreciated her.)
Wow.
This is the creepiest paragraph I've ever read on MFP.
creepy: causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or unease.
False...
And just to inform you, the dynamics of courtship have changed in this day in age.
So, you feel you can judge what others are feeling?
That is a major part of your problem.
Feelings are personal and subjective to the person. You don't get to tell them what they're feeling.
I also found your post and described actions creepy and that's from your own viewpoint. I dread to think how the girl is feeling.
Because of the kiss? All that stuff happened the same day. As I said, if it was such a problem, She wouldn't have woken me up to an invite to the city... Should i have just grabbed her and kissed her and possibly violated her? That would have been better? And honestly, i told her later, "i don't really care if i kiss you, i was just flirting with you." I honestly don't care if i did. It was more to test the water if anything.
But i guess i should just have used her like other guys have, mentally abuse her and emotionally. Cheated on her like 4x like her ex did, and start arguing with her like the other guy she dated. Is that what you're recommending?
Yet i been there for her through thick and thin, When you really care for someone they can do no wrong in your eyes. That's how she was to me, she did no wrong in my eyes. The whole world would be mad at her, because of how misunderstood she is, not me. But women don't want that obviously. But according to everyone, that's all wrong. Thanks for the advice.
ETA: i know how she was feeling, I could see it on her face, when she would blush, smile, laugh...
Creepy.
Actually, from a physiological and biochemical perspective.. We accept stimuli from our 5 senses. Our mind processes the world around us. This triggers a biochemical process. Like baking a cake, there is a recipe. There is a biochemical order in which things are triggered which produce happiness/fear/anger/anxiety and all of our emotions. Our physiology reacts to our internal/mental processes. This is why people smile when they're happy, they can't control it. There is an output with our physiology based on our mental processes. Someone can say "I am mad" even if they're happy, someone can say "I am happy" when they're mad...
If someone is going through a full blown rage, are you going to say "they are happy?" according to some people on the forum, to say someone is happy when they're in this rage, is "creepy"! and we never know how someone feels. makes sense....
Whelp, and that's a wrap.
I had always gotten a bit of a weird creeper vibe from you, just bits and pieces. There were hints of delusional thoughts. This thread here, it's made everything pretty clear. So, now we know.
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I'd also like to add, anyone can say anything. I can sit here and say "you're weird and make no sense" just how people can say "it's creepy" with out any explanation, it means nothing..
I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship. You're throwing up many, many red flags and triggers for me. Your behavior, this victim mentality, this inability to let this girl be who she is (instead of who you think she is), this obsession years later - it's really scary behavior.0 -
myfelinepal wrote: »A few months go by i got over it. We became friends again, closer then ever. They broke up(NO SURPRISE THERE), a few months go by we where drinking i brought up the relationship thing again,she said "idk why i didn't give you a chance" i said "what about now?" she's like, "idk what i want." i said, "only one way to find out, let me kiss you", she said "if i kiss you it's because i want to, not right now, i don't feel it now.", but the dynamics of our relationship changed we where flirting and it looked like things where going. I was to happen. One day we wher flirtign i was caressing her face and hair. She said, "i am not used to this, it's flattering. It's nice" (she never been with a guy who truly appreciated her.)
Wow.
This is the creepiest paragraph I've ever read on MFP.
creepy: causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or unease.
False...
And just to inform you, the dynamics of courtship have changed in this day in age.
So, you feel you can judge what others are feeling?
That is a major part of your problem.
Feelings are personal and subjective to the person. You don't get to tell them what they're feeling.
I also found your post and described actions creepy and that's from your own viewpoint. I dread to think how the girl is feeling.
Because of the kiss? All that stuff happened the same day. As I said, if it was such a problem, She wouldn't have woken me up to an invite to the city... Should i have just grabbed her and kissed her and possibly violated her? That would have been better? And honestly, i told her later, "i don't really care if i kiss you, i was just flirting with you." I honestly don't care if i did. It was more to test the water if anything.
But i guess i should just have used her like other guys have, mentally abuse her and emotionally. Cheated on her like 4x like her ex did, and start arguing with her like the other guy she dated. Is that what you're recommending?
Yet i been there for her through thick and thin, When you really care for someone they can do no wrong in your eyes. That's how she was to me, she did no wrong in my eyes. The whole world would be mad at her, because of how misunderstood she is, not me. But women don't want that obviously. But according to everyone, that's all wrong. Thanks for the advice.
ETA: i know how she was feeling, I could see it on her face, when she would blush, smile, laugh...
Creepy.
Actually, from a physiological and biochemical perspective.. We accept stimuli from our 5 senses. Our mind processes the world around us. This triggers a biochemical process. Like baking a cake, there is a recipe. There is a biochemical order in which things are triggered which produce happiness/fear/anger/anxiety and all of our emotions. Our physiology reacts to our internal/mental processes. This is why people smile when they're happy, they can't control it. There is an output with our physiology based on our mental processes. Someone can say "I am mad" even if they're happy, someone can say "I am happy" when they're mad...
If someone is going through a full blown rage, are you going to say "they are happy?" according to some people on the forum, to say someone is happy when they're in this rage, is "creepy"! and we never know how someone feels. makes sense....
So said every rapist since the beginning of time.0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »I'd also like to add, anyone can say anything. I can sit here and say "you're weird and make no sense" just how people can say "it's creepy" with out any explanation, it means nothing..
I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship. You're throwing up many, many red flags and triggers for me. Your behavior, this victim mentality, this inability to let this girl be who she is (instead of who you think she is), this obsession years later - it's really scary behavior.
Yep. That's why I said he was on par with my ex-husband, and why I suspected he has some issues with being controlling and manipulative.
Seriously dude, are you actually my ex-husband?0 -
But what was the problem?? The guy she "Jumped" in to a relationship had a 6 pack, yet he was verbally and mentally abusive towards her. Tell me that's now shallow. That's what women want, and money as evident in the video i posted(there are many videos like that as well). It's a very common theme, we all know this.
You don't get to tell women what they/we want. Especially in an attempt to justify why someone would turn you down romantically. I'm sure women like this exist, but this sounds like a salve to your pride and an attempt to again reiterate how "shallow" this woman must have been for not wanting to be with you.
Honestly, it just sounds like she wasn't very good at asserting herself with you and giving you clear signals. If you kept pushing and pressuring her to be something she wasn't, or become involved in a relationship she didn't really want, this could be because she was not comfortable being direct and assertive with you out of fear of your reaction to a flat-out rejection.
ETA: This thread was....not what I was expecting. Poor OP. Also I'm not totally sure I'm following the whole subplot, because most of the stories by the poster I quoted are very rambling and vague and mildly incoherent. Mostly I'm just confused.0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »I'd also like to add, anyone can say anything. I can sit here and say "you're weird and make no sense" just how people can say "it's creepy" with out any explanation, it means nothing..
I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship. You're throwing up many, many red flags and triggers for me. Your behavior, this victim mentality, this inability to let this girl be who she is (instead of who you think she is), this obsession years later - it's really scary behavior.
That's to bad, how you expect me to act when everyone is running their mouth at me trying to call me a creep? Yet i have said nothing bad about no one... I always let her be who she was, as i said one time she did bother me on time. I told myself "she is how she is, you either accept it, or you don't." I accepted it and never let her actions/behaviors bother me ever again. Many times people would say to me, 'how can you let her do that to you?" I know she didn't mean any harm. People just don't understand her, that's just how she is.
I can see your point about an obsession, some people can get like that, and i guess possessive and creepy. I get that. We did have a problem when she dated this one. I just walked away. I also walked away this time as well. So no worries, it's not what you think it is.
Quiet a few times through different relationships, girls have told me they're jealous of my girlfriend(at the time) so no i never treat them badly if that's what you're thinking. Every girl i have been with (well about 90%) always wanted me back. SO this girl i am talking about right now, it would have also been a favor to her. But i know her and i know she doesn't see it. When she gets older, she will realize what she did.
So... let me get this right, you think you are doing her a favour by letting her date you?
When she's said several times, in various ways, that she's not interested?
Such a catch.
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myfelinepal wrote: »A few months go by i got over it. We became friends again, closer then ever. They broke up(NO SURPRISE THERE), a few months go by we where drinking i brought up the relationship thing again,she said "idk why i didn't give you a chance" i said "what about now?" she's like, "idk what i want." i said, "only one way to find out, let me kiss you", she said "if i kiss you it's because i want to, not right now, i don't feel it now.", but the dynamics of our relationship changed we where flirting and it looked like things where going. I was to happen. One day we wher flirtign i was caressing her face and hair. She said, "i am not used to this, it's flattering. It's nice" (she never been with a guy who truly appreciated her.)
Wow.
This is the creepiest paragraph I've ever read on MFP.
creepy: causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or unease.
False...
And just to inform you, the dynamics of courtship have changed in this day in age.
So, you feel you can judge what others are feeling?
That is a major part of your problem.
Feelings are personal and subjective to the person. You don't get to tell them what they're feeling.
I also found your post and described actions creepy and that's from your own viewpoint. I dread to think how the girl is feeling.
Because of the kiss? All that stuff happened the same day. As I said, if it was such a problem, She wouldn't have woken me up to an invite to the city... Should i have just grabbed her and kissed her and possibly violated her? That would have been better? And honestly, i told her later, "i don't really care if i kiss you, i was just flirting with you." I honestly don't care if i did. It was more to test the water if anything.
But i guess i should just have used her like other guys have, mentally abuse her and emotionally. Cheated on her like 4x like her ex did, and start arguing with her like the other guy she dated. Is that what you're recommending?
Yet i been there for her through thick and thin, When you really care for someone they can do no wrong in your eyes. That's how she was to me, she did no wrong in my eyes. The whole world would be mad at her, because of how misunderstood she is, not me. But women don't want that obviously. But according to everyone, that's all wrong. Thanks for the advice.
ETA: i know how she was feeling, I could see it on her face, when she would blush, smile, laugh...
Creepy.
Actually, from a physiological and biochemical perspective.. We accept stimuli from our 5 senses. Our mind processes the world around us. This triggers a biochemical process. Like baking a cake, there is a recipe. There is a biochemical order in which things are triggered which produce happiness/fear/anger/anxiety and all of our emotions. Our physiology reacts to our internal/mental processes. This is why people smile when they're happy, they can't control it. There is an output with our physiology based on our mental processes. Someone can say "I am mad" even if they're happy, someone can say "I am happy" when they're mad...
If someone is going through a full blown rage, are you going to say "they are happy?" according to some people on the forum, to say someone is happy when they're in this rage, is "creepy"! and we never know how someone feels. makes sense....
And yet for all that you claim to know her, to the point that you disregard what she's telling you she's feeling in favor of what you think you see, you couldn't seem to get the hint that she didn't care for you that way and are still bemoaning how she shallowly did this and that.
I do understand what you're saying. The problem is she never told me anything. The most she has ever told me is 'i don't know what i wan't right now." That's not a no, and it's not a yes. But her flirting with me, wanting to hang around me all the time, coming over all the time, agreeing to a v-day date with me, asking question about our relationship if we got in to one etc... oh the v-day date she accepted 2x. Something happened, and we called it off, then things where okay then i asked again and she agreed again...
Bottom line is a meaningful relationship is mostly based on how you feel. If someone makes you happy, and you make them happy. Someone you can be happy with and have fun with as you both grow together. She made me happy, and I made her happy, she always had a great time with me. But what was the problem?? The guy she "Jumped" in to a relationship had a 6 pack, yet he was verbally and mentally abusive towards her. Tell me that's now shallow. That's what women want, and money as evident in the video i posted(there are many videos like that as well). It's a very common theme, we all know this.
I always felt best friends are what can make the best relationships, and she was my best friend...
I'll say it too, "creepy" i need to say it to follow the crowd to fit in..
Okay, so I'm just going to spell it out for you. Look up there, see the bold? You are generalizing all women into one little group that fits your preconceived notion. FTR - I actually don't like 6packs on guys. I prefer a nice, pasty compie nerd, maybe he even has a bit of a belly. You know, guys like my husband. That's not every woman's ideal. And, really, that's fine, BECAUSE WE AREN'T ALL THE SAME PERSON!! That you believe that we are dehumanizes us and is patronizing as well. That's creepy.
Here is the other thing that your whinefest up there is saying: "she decided against me because she's shallow".
In fact, painful though it may be, you have NO idea why she chose the other man. Maybe she just got tired of you? Maybe you said something that made her question whether she wanted to pursue you? Maybe he is smarter, funnier, and more charming than you are. You don't know. But, in your brain you've got it all worked out. "She's shallow". Then you morph it into "all women are shallow, AMIRITE?!". You are making assumptions about what she is thinking, and what women in general are thinking. Which is dumb. And creepy.
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PrizePopple wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »I'd also like to add, anyone can say anything. I can sit here and say "you're weird and make no sense" just how people can say "it's creepy" with out any explanation, it means nothing..
I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship. You're throwing up many, many red flags and triggers for me. Your behavior, this victim mentality, this inability to let this girl be who she is (instead of who you think she is), this obsession years later - it's really scary behavior.
Yep. That's why I said he was on par with my ex-husband, and why I suspected he has some issues with being controlling and manipulative.
Seriously dude, are you actually my ex-husband?
Can i be manipulative yes, i don't deny that. Controlling, no. Would i be manipulative and controlling to someone i care about? no.
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SO this girl i am talking about right now, it would have also been a favor to her. But i know her and i know she doesn't see it. When she gets older, she will realize what she did.
I know I shouldn't be feeding the troll, but just so much no. If you go into a relationship feeling that you are doing someone a favor, that's a pretty clear indicator that there is an imbalance in the relationship dynamic and an expectation of gratitude. And usually consequent resentment if that required gratitude is not forthcoming.0 -
myfelinepal wrote: »A few months go by i got over it. We became friends again, closer then ever. They broke up(NO SURPRISE THERE), a few months go by we where drinking i brought up the relationship thing again,she said "idk why i didn't give you a chance" i said "what about now?" she's like, "idk what i want." i said, "only one way to find out, let me kiss you", she said "if i kiss you it's because i want to, not right now, i don't feel it now.", but the dynamics of our relationship changed we where flirting and it looked like things where going. I was to happen. One day we wher flirtign i was caressing her face and hair. She said, "i am not used to this, it's flattering. It's nice" (she never been with a guy who truly appreciated her.)
Wow.
This is the creepiest paragraph I've ever read on MFP.
creepy: causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or unease.
False...
And just to inform you, the dynamics of courtship have changed in this day in age.
So, you feel you can judge what others are feeling?
That is a major part of your problem.
Feelings are personal and subjective to the person. You don't get to tell them what they're feeling.
I also found your post and described actions creepy and that's from your own viewpoint. I dread to think how the girl is feeling.
Because of the kiss? All that stuff happened the same day. As I said, if it was such a problem, She wouldn't have woken me up to an invite to the city... Should i have just grabbed her and kissed her and possibly violated her? That would have been better? And honestly, i told her later, "i don't really care if i kiss you, i was just flirting with you." I honestly don't care if i did. It was more to test the water if anything.
But i guess i should just have used her like other guys have, mentally abuse her and emotionally. Cheated on her like 4x like her ex did, and start arguing with her like the other guy she dated. Is that what you're recommending?
Yet i been there for her through thick and thin, When you really care for someone they can do no wrong in your eyes. That's how she was to me, she did no wrong in my eyes. The whole world would be mad at her, because of how misunderstood she is, not me. But women don't want that obviously. But according to everyone, that's all wrong. Thanks for the advice.
ETA: i know how she was feeling, I could see it on her face, when she would blush, smile, laugh...
Creepy.
Actually, from a physiological and biochemical perspective.. We accept stimuli from our 5 senses. Our mind processes the world around us. This triggers a biochemical process. Like baking a cake, there is a recipe. There is a biochemical order in which things are triggered which produce happiness/fear/anger/anxiety and all of our emotions. Our physiology reacts to our internal/mental processes. This is why people smile when they're happy, they can't control it. There is an output with our physiology based on our mental processes. Someone can say "I am mad" even if they're happy, someone can say "I am happy" when they're mad...
If someone is going through a full blown rage, are you going to say "they are happy?" according to some people on the forum, to say someone is happy when they're in this rage, is "creepy"! and we never know how someone feels. makes sense....
And yet for all that you claim to know her, to the point that you disregard what she's telling you she's feeling in favor of what you think you see, you couldn't seem to get the hint that she didn't care for you that way and are still bemoaning how she shallowly did this and that.
I do understand what you're saying. The problem is she never told me anything. The most she has ever told me is 'i don't know what i wan't right now." That's not a no, and it's not a yes. But her flirting with me, wanting to hang around me all the time, coming over all the time, agreeing to a v-day date with me, asking question about our relationship if we got in to one etc... oh the v-day date she accepted 2x. Something happened, and we called it off, then things where okay then i asked again and she agreed again...
Bottom line is a meaningful relationship is mostly based on how you feel. If someone makes you happy, and you make them happy. Someone you can be happy with and have fun with as you both grow together. She made me happy, and I made her happy, she always had a great time with me. But what was the problem?? The guy she "Jumped" in to a relationship had a 6 pack, yet he was verbally and mentally abusive towards her. Tell me that's now shallow. That's what women want, and money as evident in the video i posted(there are many videos like that as well). It's a very common theme, we all know this.
I always felt best friends are what can make the best relationships, and she was my best friend...
I'll say it too, "creepy" i need to say it to follow the crowd to fit in..
It's not shallow.
It IS however very telling that you think the only reason she choose that other guy is because he had a six pack and not any number of potentially awesome traits. It seems to me you're picking this one thing, deciding that must be it, and thus she is shallow.0 -
Thanks for explaining about why people smile. I'm sure the "smile" appeared as the prostitutes walked in
Do yourself a favor @Pu_239 ...keep quiet and go Read the book "7 Habits of Highly Effecting People". You seem free to give advice, now be a man and take some. Just do it!
I have not done what you have done, however I have also stuffed up. Be prepared to take the blame 100% my friend.
Pushing your point of view in a public arena like this whether correct or incorrect, is not the way to achieve what you're trying to achieve. (Whatever that may be....you do confuse me)
And to Alicia, don't let this man pressure you into anything. His personality needs to change. He may say, that is impossible. I say it is not! There is living proof that a mans lifelong constitution can be changed, and in doing so his very personality becomes less abrasive. May you meet someone that can really be your soul mate. I'm sure you will.
In the meantime @Pu_239 may want to get to reading and prove his worthiness by being something he currently is not.
Just added this in by editing:
I am willing to purchase and post you the book @Pu_239 Your life is a mess because of your own actions. Be courageous and turn your life around. You have thrown away a most beautiful girl, are you going to do that to your next one?0 -
I am so, so sorry. I can't even imagine what you must be going through and how much that betrayal must hurt.
That being said, at least you now know. You're only 24 and you have your WHOLE life ahead of you! He's a filthy scumbag who deserves the worst kind of karma; and what kind of pathetic jerk needs to pay for sex anyways? That's pretty lame, in my book.
Forget him. Try to move on and do what's good for you. Law school sounds amazing, and it's great that you're building a life here already! I wish you all the best!0 -
Its time to find your self and work on yourself. Im so so so sorry for you and wish i could hug you right now-YOUR SO GORGEOUS and I already know how huge your beautiful heart is because you flew over seas for your sister-not many will do that. I am literally sitting here feeling awful and heart broken just for you.
I think you can find someone better-but don't get back to the dating scene too soon-I mean even if your ready don't. If you find a chivalric gentlemen thats quiet and keeps to himself then you need to take him and let him love on you. You need to love yourself first and find that man that will never let you go. I feel so awful for you this is just lunacy how a guy could break a timeless beauty. Im glad you found out now and not 10 years later. He obviously is willing to sell his soul for fame and fortune and is already in it knee deep. What a jerk. God will judge him and you just take your time and do you.
I think you need to keep going and this is when you can get better- I mean better then ever. Focus on how those lies won't be whispered to your ears each and every night. Please don't stop. Ignorance is bliss and you need a* healthy dose of it STAT. Its hard I bet it is. I remember when something similar but on a way lower level than yours happened to me and I was a hot mess but i quit smoking-got clean-and worked on myself and the 4 years that were stolen from me and did MAJOR I mean MAJOR damage control-I went to church and read and got very close to God and…he opened my eyes. I told him I wouldn't ever want to be with anyone ever again. I literally prayed this out loud kneeling on my bed to God because I never wanted my heart broken again the way it was. Well He said I think I have the most perfect man for you and i almost let him go. I really didn't mind letting him go i was so stuck on being alone and caregiving my mom-I heard he was available and the rest is history. Your in my thoughts and prayers.
*= typos that have been corrected thus far0
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