My husband cheated on me...
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I am not saying that. I am saying, women say they want one thing, and you give to them and they don't want it. That's what i am really saying. As i said, there are things women say they want, there are things women "think" they want and there are things they respond to.itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Sad thing is... you probably saw this coming from a mile away and did nothing about it. I bet you felt something wasn't right before you guys even got married.
You can't just close up and say "how can i trust any man again?" truth is for me... there was this girl i liked a lot, i treated her well, her ex cheated on her coutnless times, treated her bad, verbally and mentally abusive. This girl and i got along great, i looked for more than a friendship. She would give me excuses, "I am not ready, idk what i want" then a month later she got with some other guy. Really upset me. Guess what? they got in to a fight and they broke up, she was upset about it. She's different, she has ADHD and not many people understand her. I honestly can't see any other guy putting up with her and being able to handle her. I tried again, things, but she still wasn't interested, she lead me on a bit this time.
She tells me things like what you said, "how can i trust guys now?" I told her many times, you have to open up and trust, if you don't you're just going to shrivel up and die alone. Sure maybe a guy might come, may not work out, then another may not work out. But if you trust, there will be a guy who appreciates it and gives you what you want.
I also told her many times, "a guy has a tendency to bs, and make himself greater than what he really is at first." It's kind of understandable, you're trying to win someone over. But the guys who are real, who are genuine. Don't do that, then they don't fit the womens ideal, "the knight in shining armor" and she fells for someone who is lying and bsing her.
She doesn't like you and doesn't have to. Not even because she's different and you don't think anyone else will love her.
NO.
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I am not saying that. I am saying, women say they want one thing, and you give to them and they don't want it. That's what i am really saying. As i said, there are things women say they want, there are things women "think" they want and there are things they respond to.itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Sad thing is... you probably saw this coming from a mile away and did nothing about it. I bet you felt something wasn't right before you guys even got married.
You can't just close up and say "how can i trust any man again?" truth is for me... there was this girl i liked a lot, i treated her well, her ex cheated on her coutnless times, treated her bad, verbally and mentally abusive. This girl and i got along great, i looked for more than a friendship. She would give me excuses, "I am not ready, idk what i want" then a month later she got with some other guy. Really upset me. Guess what? they got in to a fight and they broke up, she was upset about it. She's different, she has ADHD and not many people understand her. I honestly can't see any other guy putting up with her and being able to handle her. I tried again, things, but she still wasn't interested, she lead me on a bit this time.
She tells me things like what you said, "how can i trust guys now?" I told her many times, you have to open up and trust, if you don't you're just going to shrivel up and die alone. Sure maybe a guy might come, may not work out, then another may not work out. But if you trust, there will be a guy who appreciates it and gives you what you want.
I also told her many times, "a guy has a tendency to bs, and make himself greater than what he really is at first." It's kind of understandable, you're trying to win someone over. But the guys who are real, who are genuine. Don't do that, then they don't fit the womens ideal, "the knight in shining armor" and she fells for someone who is lying and bsing her.
She doesn't like you and doesn't have to. Not even because she's different and you don't think anyone else will love her.
Straight from the Red Pill subreddit, people.
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I am not saying that. I am saying, women say they want one thing, and you give to them and they don't want it. That's what i am really saying. As i said, there are things women say they want, there are things women "think" they want and there are things they respond to.itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Sad thing is... you probably saw this coming from a mile away and did nothing about it. I bet you felt something wasn't right before you guys even got married.
You can't just close up and say "how can i trust any man again?" truth is for me... there was this girl i liked a lot, i treated her well, her ex cheated on her coutnless times, treated her bad, verbally and mentally abusive. This girl and i got along great, i looked for more than a friendship. She would give me excuses, "I am not ready, idk what i want" then a month later she got with some other guy. Really upset me. Guess what? they got in to a fight and they broke up, she was upset about it. She's different, she has ADHD and not many people understand her. I honestly can't see any other guy putting up with her and being able to handle her. I tried again, things, but she still wasn't interested, she lead me on a bit this time.
She tells me things like what you said, "how can i trust guys now?" I told her many times, you have to open up and trust, if you don't you're just going to shrivel up and die alone. Sure maybe a guy might come, may not work out, then another may not work out. But if you trust, there will be a guy who appreciates it and gives you what you want.
I also told her many times, "a guy has a tendency to bs, and make himself greater than what he really is at first." It's kind of understandable, you're trying to win someone over. But the guys who are real, who are genuine. Don't do that, then they don't fit the womens ideal, "the knight in shining armor" and she fells for someone who is lying and bsing her.
She doesn't like you and doesn't have to. Not even because she's different and you don't think anyone else will love her.
No.
That is vile.
There are no blurred lines.
No, for whatever reason, means no. It doesn't matter if you believe it's serious or not. It means no.0 -
Playing the "long game" can be exhausting, but sometimes rewarding.LiftAllThePizzas wrote: »
Congratulations on your psychic powers, but don't you think you should be using them for something more productive?Every single "nice guy" out there has faked or is faking a friendship with a female when all he wants from her is sex. Yet she is always the bad person for not being sufficiently grateful for the fake friendship to give up the sex. Could it be possible that she actually sees right through you and knows you're only buzzing around her in the hopes that one of these days she'll be hurt enough to let you in her pants?
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aliciamarieUF wrote: »Hey guys. I haven't been on in a week and my fitness goals have come to a temporary stop. I was doing the stronglifts 5x5 program and trying to lose weight and tone my body. I have lost 4 pounds this past week just by not eating.
I was living in Rome with my husband of 4 years and my little sister had a stroke on October of 2014 so I hopped on a plane and came home to Miami immediately to help her recuperate. My husband came to see me for Christmas in December. He stayed until mid-January and the plan was that he would come back over the summer with his green card and start working here while I got a car and a job in order. Well we started having problems a week after he got back to Italy because he is working on a music project (he's a singer and has never worked a day in his life because his parents are old money and he can afford to sit around and work on becoming "famous"). He told me he was in the process of signing a contract with someone very important in the field. Long story short, his friend who is currently in an argument with him told me he was a liar and sent me a video and photos of an orgy they had in the apartment we shared together. They paid 4 prostitutes and tag teamed on them. Apparently, it's not the first time my husband has been seeking services from prostitutes. Who knows how many times he cheated on me while I was at work. I am in the processes of getting full on STD tests.
I feel deceived. I didn't know the man I was married to. I feel stupid for investing time and energy into marriage with a pig. Not only did he do this to a wife who adored him and would have given anything for him, but he did it to me during a time where I was at risk of losing my sister. Now I have a long and complicated international divorce in the works and I'm feeling really scared and anxious. The only bright side that is coming out of this is that I feel liberated. I was able to purchase my car a few days ago, I'm in the process of looking for work, and I intend to go to law school (I'm only 24) to study family law and hopefully help people in similar situations. I don't know how I will ever trust a man again or even have a happy marriage or form some kind of a family.
Sorry for the rant, but I know how people on these forums are very supportive. Has anyone gone through anything similar, and how did you put it behind you to continue losing weight and being the best you could be?
Thank you.
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Hi. I'm so sorry about your Asssshole and the pain he caused. This is time to take care of you and do the things you most enjoy. You're very young and have a life ahead. Believe this too shall pass and something better is coming0
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Holy cow, this thread has been overtaken by Neckbeard and Trilby.
dude. Go back to 8chan and cry about girls in video games or something. OP doesn't need your brand of *kitten*.0 -
I am not saying, "no doesn't means no" ha even in the video i posted earlier of the gold digger. She said, "no" but quickly changed her mind when she saw money. I understand if no women wants to be called a gold digger. You think the girl in the video wants to be called a gold digger? If you ask her, "are you a gold digger" she's not going to say "yes"itsfuntobenormal wrote: »
I am not saying that. I am saying, women say they want one thing, and you give to them and they don't want it. That's what i am really saying. As i said, there are things women say they want, there are things women "think" they want and there are things they respond to.itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Sad thing is... you probably saw this coming from a mile away and did nothing about it. I bet you felt something wasn't right before you guys even got married.
You can't just close up and say "how can i trust any man again?" truth is for me... there was this girl i liked a lot, i treated her well, her ex cheated on her coutnless times, treated her bad, verbally and mentally abusive. This girl and i got along great, i looked for more than a friendship. She would give me excuses, "I am not ready, idk what i want" then a month later she got with some other guy. Really upset me. Guess what? they got in to a fight and they broke up, she was upset about it. She's different, she has ADHD and not many people understand her. I honestly can't see any other guy putting up with her and being able to handle her. I tried again, things, but she still wasn't interested, she lead me on a bit this time.
She tells me things like what you said, "how can i trust guys now?" I told her many times, you have to open up and trust, if you don't you're just going to shrivel up and die alone. Sure maybe a guy might come, may not work out, then another may not work out. But if you trust, there will be a guy who appreciates it and gives you what you want.
I also told her many times, "a guy has a tendency to bs, and make himself greater than what he really is at first." It's kind of understandable, you're trying to win someone over. But the guys who are real, who are genuine. Don't do that, then they don't fit the womens ideal, "the knight in shining armor" and she fells for someone who is lying and bsing her.
She doesn't like you and doesn't have to. Not even because she's different and you don't think anyone else will love her.
No.
That is vile.
There are no blurred lines.
No, for whatever reason, means no. It doesn't matter if you believe it's serious or not. It means no.
Based on her actions of rejecting him, she has an idea of what she wants, and she thinks that's what she wants. Yet the first sign of money, she responds to that.
In case you missed it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iyeUcFKRv4
and incase someone says, "that's just one example" here is many more.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bxuHCgt8f4
And there is many more beyond that.
ETA: and honestly I don't blame them(the women in the video). That's not the issue, the issue is people denying it's true. That's the problem.
So you're mad because some women are apparently gold diggers and you don't have the money to make women say yes to you?
Here's something from a woman who makes twice as much as her partner of almost 6 years did: it's not about the money you make, it's about what you do with the money you make that matters.
For some people money matters, for women who have it together and are independent it's not such a big deal. I don't need someone to take care of me, I want someone who enriches my life by making me a better person and contributing to my life in non-monetary/financial ways, before you even go there.
There's always jerks out there, like you said, women "go for the jerks and don't appreciate the nice guys" and there's always going to be women who are after some guys money and he has enough of it to throw a little her way. If that is what makes them both happy in life, they aren't hurting anyone. And, shocker, most men who are in this situation are fully aware of what's going on.0 -
Straight from the Red Pill subreddit, people.
Yeah. Or every other MRA blog out there. They all read the exact same thing. Guys who have bad luck with women then blame women for their own shortcomings.
I'm bored with this thread. Boo hoo. She doesn't like you. Get over it.
And here's an idea: quit with the entitlement BS. And quit chasing women with emotional problems.
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I am not saying, "no doesn't means no" ha even in the video i posted earlier of the gold digger. She said, "no" but quickly changed her mind when she saw money. I understand if no women wants to be called a gold digger. You think the girl in the video wants to be called a gold digger? If you ask her, "are you a gold digger" she's not going to say "yes"itsfuntobenormal wrote: »
I am not saying that. I am saying, women say they want one thing, and you give to them and they don't want it. That's what i am really saying. As i said, there are things women say they want, there are things women "think" they want and there are things they respond to.itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Sad thing is... you probably saw this coming from a mile away and did nothing about it. I bet you felt something wasn't right before you guys even got married.
You can't just close up and say "how can i trust any man again?" truth is for me... there was this girl i liked a lot, i treated her well, her ex cheated on her coutnless times, treated her bad, verbally and mentally abusive. This girl and i got along great, i looked for more than a friendship. She would give me excuses, "I am not ready, idk what i want" then a month later she got with some other guy. Really upset me. Guess what? they got in to a fight and they broke up, she was upset about it. She's different, she has ADHD and not many people understand her. I honestly can't see any other guy putting up with her and being able to handle her. I tried again, things, but she still wasn't interested, she lead me on a bit this time.
She tells me things like what you said, "how can i trust guys now?" I told her many times, you have to open up and trust, if you don't you're just going to shrivel up and die alone. Sure maybe a guy might come, may not work out, then another may not work out. But if you trust, there will be a guy who appreciates it and gives you what you want.
I also told her many times, "a guy has a tendency to bs, and make himself greater than what he really is at first." It's kind of understandable, you're trying to win someone over. But the guys who are real, who are genuine. Don't do that, then they don't fit the womens ideal, "the knight in shining armor" and she fells for someone who is lying and bsing her.
She doesn't like you and doesn't have to. Not even because she's different and you don't think anyone else will love her.
No.
That is vile.
There are no blurred lines.
No, for whatever reason, means no. It doesn't matter if you believe it's serious or not. It means no.
Based on her actions of rejecting him, she has an idea of what she wants, and she thinks that's what she wants. Yet the first sign of money, she responds to that.
In case you missed it.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iyeUcFKRv4
and incase someone says, "that's just one example" here is many more.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bxuHCgt8f4
And there is many more beyond that.
ETA: and honestly I don't blame them(the women in the video). That's not the issue, the issue is people denying it's true. That's the problem.
I don't understand. Your situation is one where she knows you...she knows the real you...and she isn't interested in the same level of relationship you are. That's what she has decided. That you are convinced that her decision is necessarily wrong is...well, *cold shiver*...it's wrong. Super creepy wrong.
The videos (or at least the snippets I watched of them) are examples of women who are *potentially interested* in a guy apparently because of the $$$ (or perhaps they just like nice cars). Just because they're potentially interested because of the $$$ doesn't mean they're necessarily interested in *pursuing a long-term romantic relationship*. And even if they are (which I'm still nearly certain they aren't), that doesn't mean that this particular woman friend of yours falls into the same category. It's simply not that simple.
Full disclosure: If I see a guy get out of a 2009 Ford Focus and another guy step out of a Lamborghini Testarossa, I'm more likely to take note of the latter. In fact, I drive past a post office on my commute to work and there's often the latter parked near the front door...and I've checked this guy out...because I'm curious about his story. If he was driving the former, I may or may not have even noticed the pattern...and even if I did, I probably wouldn't really care. Does this make me a gold digger? (If so, my wife of 24 years is going to find this surprising.)0 -
I am not saying, "no doesn't means no" ha even in the video i posted earlier of the gold digger. She said, "no" but quickly changed her mind when she saw money. I understand if no women wants to be called a gold digger. You think the girl in the video wants to be called a gold digger? If you ask her, "are you a gold digger" she's not going to say "yes"itsfuntobenormal wrote: »
I am not saying that. I am saying, women say they want one thing, and you give to them and they don't want it. That's what i am really saying. As i said, there are things women say they want, there are things women "think" they want and there are things they respond to.itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Sad thing is... you probably saw this coming from a mile away and did nothing about it. I bet you felt something wasn't right before you guys even got married.
You can't just close up and say "how can i trust any man again?" truth is for me... there was this girl i liked a lot, i treated her well, her ex cheated on her coutnless times, treated her bad, verbally and mentally abusive. This girl and i got along great, i looked for more than a friendship. She would give me excuses, "I am not ready, idk what i want" then a month later she got with some other guy. Really upset me. Guess what? they got in to a fight and they broke up, she was upset about it. She's different, she has ADHD and not many people understand her. I honestly can't see any other guy putting up with her and being able to handle her. I tried again, things, but she still wasn't interested, she lead me on a bit this time.
She tells me things like what you said, "how can i trust guys now?" I told her many times, you have to open up and trust, if you don't you're just going to shrivel up and die alone. Sure maybe a guy might come, may not work out, then another may not work out. But if you trust, there will be a guy who appreciates it and gives you what you want.
I also told her many times, "a guy has a tendency to bs, and make himself greater than what he really is at first." It's kind of understandable, you're trying to win someone over. But the guys who are real, who are genuine. Don't do that, then they don't fit the womens ideal, "the knight in shining armor" and she fells for someone who is lying and bsing her.
She doesn't like you and doesn't have to. Not even because she's different and you don't think anyone else will love her.
No.
That is vile.
There are no blurred lines.
No, for whatever reason, means no. It doesn't matter if you believe it's serious or not. It means no.
Based on her actions of rejecting him, she has an idea of what she wants, and she thinks that's what she wants. Yet the first sign of money, she responds to that.
In case you missed it.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iyeUcFKRv4
and incase someone says, "that's just one example" here is many more.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bxuHCgt8f4
And there is many more beyond that.
ETA: and honestly I don't blame them(the women in the video). That's not the issue, the issue is people denying it's true. That's the problem.
Of course there are women that are "gold diggers." There are also a ton of guys that are "douche bags" but you don't consider yourself one, so why are you lumping women into one category? Is your friend a gold digger? If so, why are you so interested in her? If you think she's shallow, hard to handle, all these negative things then isn't it a good thing she won't be with you? Can you really say you love her if you talk so negatively about her on the Internet?
It sounds like you're bitter she has rejected you but wants to maintain a friendship. It bugs you so you gave her an ultimatum and tried to cut her out of your life to spare you the pain. Completely understandable. So why does it bother you that she ran off to hide? You "hid" from her by ignoring her attempts at contact so why should she immediately just be accepting of your approach for an apology?
You seem to think you're better than everyone. Better than her boyfriends because you treat her right. Better than men in general because you're a rare nice guy. Better than her because you're not shallow and superficial. Your superiority complex is what's causing your problems. You think you're better and so you think she owes it to you to be with you. But she doesn't.
Regardless of how confusing or unassertive she is or how far you read into all of her actions, you two are not together. You have no hold over her. You have every right to be sad she won't be with you, but you have no right to say she would be better off with you or that she's all these terrible things because she chose some guy that YOU feel is inferior instead of you. You have no right to claim someone else probably can't "handle" her and her ADHD. If you're a nice guy then there are plenty more and maybe she'll end up with one of them one day. Maybe she won't. You don't get to choose and you don't get to whine about it forever.
You're trying very hard to make this woman seem bad so that you can justify why she won't go out with you. There's nothing wrong with you of course, and it can't be that yall just aren't as good a match as you think (because two decent people can't be incompatible of course, one must be a bad/worse person), it's just that she sucks and hasn't realized it yet. If you think so poorly of her, get over her and find somebody else. You're not convincing anyone that it's "her not you." Maybe you're a great guy but you're just not right for her, and maybe it's not because you don't have a 6 pack and treat her like crap (although you clearly do as evident in how you speak of her), maybe there's something about you that she can't really see lasting into a relationship. Like how incredibly easy you are to upset. But maybe there will be some other girl that won't mind one day. You're never going to find her if you keep bothering your friend, pressuring her to be more than that. If she wanted to she would have by now. Nothing stopped her from having other boyfriends before yet she isn't with you. And that should be fine if she's really your friend. You can't expect that doing nice actions will result in a relationship, especially when you're doing all of these actions for the wrong reason, which is the important part. You're not hanging out just to hang out, you're doing it to show her how great of a boyfriend you'd be and try to get her to like you. That's why you keep bringing up all these things you've done and saying why hasn't she picked you. You directly correlate them when they're not related at all. Being nice doesn't mean you get to go out. Being nice means you're nice. Period. You should be to everyone (even girls you have no feelings for.) She doesn't have to pay you back with a date. Especially when you compliment her one minute and insult her in the same post. Maybe she can tell you complain about her. You certainly don't respect her, not for who she is or for the choices she makes, so go find a girl you do actually care about without the strings of "if she gets a crush on me" attached. You can't change your friend (nor should you want to) so change yourself. Stop obsessing over her and her rejection. Everyone gets rejected, sometimes several times throughout life. But she hasn't cheated on you or done anything wrong to you (no turning you down, even for a *kitten*, is not wrong.) You've obviously put off several people in this thread, including poor OP herself, so work on that and maybe one day when you've grown up you'll be a good partner for a good, nice, smart girl. 'Cause they exist too, in case that's news for you.0 -
You know, the problem with a bunch of women attempting to reason with a full-bore neckbeard MRA troll is that if he had the slightest bit of interest in what women thought, or the smallest amount of respect for our opinions, he would basically be a completely different person. Women can put forth the most reasoned arguments in the world and by the time it reaches his ears it just sounds like the faint whistle of air escaping from his blow-up doll. Just saying.0
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Larissa_NY wrote: »You know, the problem with a bunch of women attempting to reason with a full-bore neckbeard MRA troll is that if he had the slightest bit of interest in what women thought, or the smallest amount of respect for our opinions, he would basically be a completely different person. Women can put forth the most reasoned arguments in the world and by the time it reaches his ears it just sounds like the faint whistle of air escaping from his blow-up doll. Just saying.
I like this one.0 -
PrizePopple wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »ogmomma2012 wrote: »ogmomma2012 wrote: »
I did cut it off. I just feel kind of bad for her because i know the potential we could have had, but she missed out because of shallow views. she will always have problems, but it's karma. That's what it always is. but i do agree with you, let intentions be known up front, and get to know them differently. You're right. There are many more videos like the the one i shown.ogmomma2012 wrote: »
I know she doesn't like me like that, because I wasn't INTERESTED IN SEX with her. I liked her as a person. SO i fell in to the "Friends zone" maybe if i was a bit more sexual at first, things would have been different. I actually take the time to KNOW someone, before jumping in to relationships. I mean that's a big problem in our society... Isn't that the problem the OP had??? And a few other people who have posted. Maybe if I had a lamborgini, it would be different. Like in the video i posted early, the girl wasn't interested, but the first sign of money... She gets interested.furioushummingbird wrote: »Sad thing is... you probably saw this coming from a mile away and did nothing about it. I bet you felt something wasn't right before you guys even got married.
You can't just close up and say "how can i trust any man again?" truth is for me... there was this girl i liked a lot, i treated her well, her ex cheated on her coutnless times, treated her bad, verbally and mentally abusive. This girl and i got along great, i looked for more than a friendship. She would give me excuses, "I am not ready, idk what i want" then a month later she got with some other guy. Really upset me. Guess what? they got in to a fight and they broke up, she was upset about it. She's different, she has ADHD and not many people understand her. I honestly can't see any other guy putting up with her and being able to handle her. I tried again, things, but she still wasn't interested, she lead me on a bit this time.
She tells me things like what you said, "how can i trust guys now?" I told her many times, you have to open up and trust, if you don't you're just going to shrivel up and die alone. Sure maybe a guy might come, may not work out, then another may not work out. But if you trust, there will be a guy who appreciates it and gives you what you want.
I also told her many times, "a guy has a tendency to bs, and make himself greater than what he really is at first." It's kind of understandable, you're trying to win someone over. But the guys who are real, who are genuine. Don't do that, then they don't fit the womens ideal, "the knight in shining armor" and she fells for someone who is lying and bsing her.
I haven't read other posts after this one, so forgive me if this was already said: WOMEN ARE NOT DEVICES TO PUT FRIENDSHIP COINS IN UNTIL SEX FALLS OUT. WOMEN DO NOT OWE YOU *kitten*. THE GIRL DOESN'T LIKE YOU THAT WAY, TOUGH T*TS. STOP TAKING OUT YOUR SEXUAL FRUSTRATION ON WOMEN SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET ONE.
Good god, please let this guy be a troll. Otherwise I smell fedoras and neck beard a mile away.
My original post in my first post is that it takes time for people to get to know one another
Getting to know someone in the context of dating is NOT the same thing as getting to know someone as a platonic friend outside the context of dating. Make your intentions known -beforehand- so your delusions of the "friendzone" and "nice guys finish last" won't happen.
They don't want to date you? Deal with it. If you can't stand being friends with a chick without expecting something in return, cut that friendship off. Don't keep doing nice things expecting them to change their mind and see you as this awesome dude.
You show one video demonstrating one or two chicks being materialistic. Is that what you think of ALL women?
A better thing to say, rather than "you saw this coming" is to encourage someone to work on themselves and search themselves for what they -really- want. Love can be blind to many, many things, including douchebagness. Having compassion for someone having a hard time with relationships is NOT saying they should have expected it.
I reread my original post to see what the big deal is. I studied a lot of sociology between male and female interactions, mostly females. The best advice I ever came across twoards women was, "get rid of your long list of ideals and focus on how the person you're with makes you feel." That's what i was trying to communicate. I am not saying it's HER fault. I am saying next time around just be more aware. That's what i am trying to convey.
and random side note. GIF's on MFP are so 2010...
What made you think she had a long list of ideals? There are a lot of assumptions made on your part. Compatibility is certainly important, but a lot of differences can be put aside with enough love and passion.
I agree with you, i thought about it... like if there was a girl who i wasn't physically attracted to. If she made me feel good and happy yeah i'd be with her. To answer your question, i don't think my response would be good for the OP so i am not going to answer it.
I don't believe that if you knew a girl who you felt zero attraction to liked you that you would still "be with her". That is total bs. You are attracted to someone who does not find you attractive. That does not make her "broken" or "shallow". It's just life. Deal with it.
I honestly thought about it, in my mind the situations/people i came up with, it was true. But honestly who knows, I'd have to be in that situation. There was a few married women on this site, who wanted to pursue something. But... obviously in that situation no.
Side note has anyone reached out to the op yet or was i the only one?
The only thing you should be reaching out for is a therapist.
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Are you talking about the cases where women use that to get back at a guy she's angry at?
Seriously though... i am really trying to understand your point of view because it made no sense and came out of left field. The only reasonable conclusion i can come to is based on what i said earlier about the girl. I said, "i believe i know what's best for her and what she needs" or something along those lines. You might be thinking, I don't respect her decisions, maybe many people on the forum share this view assuming this is what you're talking about. I do respect her decisions when she's being honest, if she said "NO not interested" then i understand that. The problem is she never said "NO, not interested."
What i mean when i say, "When she's being honest." is sometimes she says things, but she actually is interested in something else.
A few examples of what I mean
1. She left some Chinese food in my car one night. I was going to see her at her work because she had my phone, forgot it in her purse. I said, "do you want me to warm up the chinese food?" she said, "no it's fine." I thought, "she's at work, it's mid day, i know she's hungry..." I warmed it up for her anyways. When i gave it to her she was very happy and ate it right away, and she said "thank you for warming it up."
2. I didn't go to school one day. I think i told her I was sick or something(i was being sarcastic) she took me seriously. She said, "I wish i could go see you and bring you some chicken soup we both need it." I understood she wanted to see me, i know she's a terrible texter and doesn't reply till hours later(no she's not ignoring me, i am with her many times when people text her and she just doesn't pay attention to her phone).
So I told her, "let me pick you up at 5(after school)" It was around 3, she was in class... She didn't get back to me. So I didn't want to be here waiting till 5pm so I left to pick her up at 4:45. As I was half way there she texted me back, "no, don't pick me up." i said "i am already on my way" I did meet up with her. We had a great time together. I talked about it, "i am not going to wait there wondering if I should come or not, so I just came" she said, "you made the right decision" she said "thank you for tonight i really needed it."(and no it wasn't sexual)
3. She can get extra time on her tests because she has ADHD, we where in math together. A test was coming up i told her, "get more time on this test." she's like, "no I don't need it." I said, "use it as security, you never know... just do it." she's like, "no i don't need it, I'll be fine." Test comes along, and guess what? She ran out of time. I didn't say, "i told you so." but she said, "you where right." There is many examples like this, this is what i mean when i say I have my best interest in mind, and i do my best to help her and guide her.
Cold Chinese food isn't the same thing as a boyfriend. She's saying things to be nice to you, to be "no trouble" (to you or to the school/teacher setting up her test) because they're not really a big deal to her. But dating you is. Thats why she hasn't despite you telling her straight up you should. Maybe she thinks she should date you because you're such a "nice guy" but she knows in her heart she doesn't feel it. Maybe she knows if she says a straight up no you'll be angry since you already are by her implied/pseudo no. How about you just tell her she's your girlfriend now and take control of her and her decisions as you have before, since you know what's best for her a few times and won't give her the freedom to do or say what she wants. You tell her she's your girlfriend now and see how she responds. If she's as happy as she was about her Chinese and declares your all knowingness like from her exam I'll take back everything I've said and announce you as the nicest, wisest guy I've ever known. Lol0 -
PikaKnight wrote: »3dogsrunning wrote: »aliciamarieUF wrote: »ogmomma2012 wrote: »
I did cut it off. I just feel kind of bad for her because i know the potential we could have had, but she missed out because of shallow views. she will always have problems, but it's karma. That's what it always is. but i do agree with you, let intentions be known up front, and get to know them differently. You're right. There are many more videos like the the one i shown.ogmomma2012 wrote: »
I know she doesn't like me like that, because I wasn't INTERESTED IN SEX with her. I liked her as a person. SO i fell in to the "Friends zone" maybe if i was a bit more sexual at first, things would have been different. I actually take the time to KNOW someone, before jumping in to relationships. I mean that's a big problem in our society... Isn't that the problem the OP had??? And a few other people who have posted. Maybe if I had a lamborgini, it would be different. Like in the video i posted early, the girl wasn't interested, but the first sign of money... She gets interested.furioushummingbird wrote: »Sad thing is... you probably saw this coming from a mile away and did nothing about it. I bet you felt something wasn't right before you guys even got married.
You can't just close up and say "how can i trust any man again?" truth is for me... there was this girl i liked a lot, i treated her well, her ex cheated on her coutnless times, treated her bad, verbally and mentally abusive. This girl and i got along great, i looked for more than a friendship. She would give me excuses, "I am not ready, idk what i want" then a month later she got with some other guy. Really upset me. Guess what? they got in to a fight and they broke up, she was upset about it. She's different, she has ADHD and not many people understand her. I honestly can't see any other guy putting up with her and being able to handle her. I tried again, things, but she still wasn't interested, she lead me on a bit this time.
She tells me things like what you said, "how can i trust guys now?" I told her many times, you have to open up and trust, if you don't you're just going to shrivel up and die alone. Sure maybe a guy might come, may not work out, then another may not work out. But if you trust, there will be a guy who appreciates it and gives you what you want.
I also told her many times, "a guy has a tendency to bs, and make himself greater than what he really is at first." It's kind of understandable, you're trying to win someone over. But the guys who are real, who are genuine. Don't do that, then they don't fit the womens ideal, "the knight in shining armor" and she fells for someone who is lying and bsing her.
I haven't read other posts after this one, so forgive me if this was already said: WOMEN ARE NOT DEVICES TO PUT FRIENDSHIP COINS IN UNTIL SEX FALLS OUT. WOMEN DO NOT OWE YOU *kitten*. THE GIRL DOESN'T LIKE YOU THAT WAY, TOUGH T*TS. STOP TAKING OUT YOUR SEXUAL FRUSTRATION ON WOMEN SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET ONE.
Good god, please let this guy be a troll. Otherwise I smell fedoras and neck beard a mile away.
My original post in my first post is that it takes time for people to get to know one another
Getting to know someone in the context of dating is NOT the same thing as getting to know someone as a platonic friend outside the context of dating. Make your intentions known -beforehand- so your delusions of the "friendzone" and "nice guys finish last" won't happen.
They don't want to date you? Deal with it. If you can't stand being friends with a chick without expecting something in return, cut that friendship off. Don't keep doing nice things expecting them to change their mind and see you as this awesome dude.
You show one video demonstrating one or two chicks being materialistic. Is that what you think of ALL women?
A better thing to say, rather than "you saw this coming" is to encourage someone to work on themselves and search themselves for what they -really- want. Love can be blind to many, many things, including douchebagness. Having compassion for someone having a hard time with relationships is NOT saying they should have expected it.
I reread my original post to see what the big deal is. I studied a lot of sociology between male and female interactions, mostly females. The best advice I ever came across twoards women was, "get rid of your long list of ideals and focus on how the person you're with makes you feel." That's what i was trying to communicate. I am not saying it's HER fault. I am saying next time around just be more aware. That's what i am trying to convey.
and random side note. GIF's on MFP are so 2010...
The fact that you said that I saw this coming is pretty disgusting. I did not see this coming at all, and neither did my family. He had everyone duped. His cousins can't believe what he did to me. He is a liar. I also want to know what you mean by "women need to get rid of their long list of ideals." What are you even talking about? I didn't have a long list of what I expected my husband to be. I accepted him for what he was, and that's what has gotten me into the bad situation that I'm in now!
This wasn't directed at you. Try and have a good night, good night.
What wasn't aimed at her? The "you probably saw it coming a mile away?" It was in your very first post.
ah yes i see it now. I was wondering where the OP was getting that from. Is it wrong for me to say that? Maybe she did maybe she didn't. I am not the type to get upset at people if they're being honest with me and sharing their opinion. Even if I don't agree with it. How many have insulted me and tried to belittle me through this entire topic? I don't' care i don't hold it against them.
Many have said through the post they been in similar situations and they saw red flags all over the person. I have seen red flags over some people, Often people in these situations see red flags from a mile away. I am not putting the blame on the op, that's what my first post was about. I also said, many men bs women(which is true). I also said, that there will be a guy that would appreciate her. Yet everyone wants to focus on the negative and not the positive.
Actually a healthy psychology according to Dr.Paul Debronansky(sp?) PhD in Psychiatrist is one that doesn't let negativity in. It's like semi-permeable membrane. It lets good stuff in and keeps the bad stuff out. You know, like people through trying to insult me, posting GIF's to mock me etc... doesn't bother me. But yet I say one thing and people get upset. I am not the one with issues.
The answers you need at not going to be found in the Pick-up Artist community.0 -
My heart goes out to you dear lady. I am here if you just want to vent. Hugs and hopefully you can be rid of this cheater soon.0
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louminouche wrote: »It is good that you found out now rather than in 10 years' time that you were wasting your time with that wretched husband of yours. Do not cry over someone who was not there for you. You would have had a miserable life with that gigolo.
Took me about 15 years of marriage, 3 children before my eyes were opened. EAT something! I mean it! I barely ate anything for a month, literally a cracker or a bite of something every other day or so. When I finally decided to get up and pick up the pieces it took me a good while to recoup my body, couldn't even keep the crackers down anymore. I couldn't be there for my kids at this time and it is what makes me more ashamed than
anything else, thank God I had the support of my parents and my sister otherwise I don't know what would have happened.
You are absolutely gorgeous, I am very sorry you are having to go through this but IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT! Keep thinking positive and looking for a brighter future, you'll make it.
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I am sorry for your troubles. I have seen this happen plenty of times. My advice to you is this: Spend the next 3 or 4 years getting your JD and work on your physical health and fitness. While you are at it, go for therapy. It will help you sort out your feelings and give you tools to not repeat any patterns that may have attracted someone like him. I am not saying what he did was your fault mind you but we all have a tendency to keep doing what we do and expecting different results. Get your head right, get your health right and good things will start to happen. I wish you the best of luck.
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Folks, I hope I don't get beat up on but look at the title of this board "Motivation and Support". For some, this is the only place to go for help without those around you telling you what you want to hear. I'm not having a pitty party but if I need motivation or support, I will seek someone from MFP because there has to be at least one person that is or has gone through what I'm going through. Sometimes that's all we need to hear. Don't judge people for being "too personal" or "men bashing" - it's not that; it's the point of just needing to write it out and not have people judge. She was looking for support from a large group of people who are supposed to be supportive not Facebook Friends talking behind your back.
AliciamarieUF, I'll listen anytime you want to vent or talk. That's what this place is for. Don't get wrapped around the situation but look at the positive - how the situation will make you grow. When and if you are ready, you will find the right person. As a few people have said, take time to look after yourself and accomplish your goals. Who knows, maybe a relationship will develop during the time you are not looking. The right person appears when you are not searching.
Good luck. For everyone else - smile, the world is already loaded with negativity why bring it into a support board?0 -
Srsly.Burt_Huttz wrote: »Larissa_NY wrote: »You know, the problem with a bunch of women attempting to reason with a full-bore neckbeard MRA troll is that if he had the slightest bit of interest in what women thought, or the smallest amount of respect for our opinions, he would basically be a completely different person. Women can put forth the most reasoned arguments in the world and by the time it reaches his ears it just sounds like the faint whistle of air escaping from his blow-up doll. Just saying.
I like this one.
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I am not saying that. I am saying, women say they want one thing, and you give to them and they don't want it.
Sure, I get it.
It's kind of like when you say hurting her is the "last thing" you would want to do, yet its pretty much the first thing you actually did. And kept doing.
:drinker:
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Pu, not a single thing you've given as an example has convinced a single person on here. Does that raise any flags for you? If it hasn't, that is because your thinking is apparently disordered.
If you are just a teenager or a late-blooming in-your-early-twenties never-had-a-girl guy, there is hope for you yet, you might simply be arrogantly obstinate on this board but who knows, may be you're not as bad in real life, you'll get over it, put on your big-boy pants and grow out of it.
But if you're older and still think/feel this way, get help. Please go get help
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Burt_Huttz wrote: »Larissa_NY wrote: »You know, the problem with a bunch of women attempting to reason with a full-bore neckbeard MRA troll is that if he had the slightest bit of interest in what women thought, or the smallest amount of respect for our opinions, he would basically be a completely different person. Women can put forth the most reasoned arguments in the world and by the time it reaches his ears it just sounds like the faint whistle of air escaping from his blow-up doll. Just saying.
I like this one.
It's exactly right - he's already said that females are basically idiot children so why would he listen to anything a woman says.0 -
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