Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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One more confession for today and then I'm done. Saturday I was at a bridal shower and someone made s'more bars. I love, love, love anything s'mores but I couldn't have one because I gave up chocolate for lent. (What was I thinking?) So I ate a piece of fruit pizza, was still thinking of the s'more bar. Ate a piece of white cake with raspberry mouse filling, super yummy but was still thinking about the s'more bar. Went home and had some golden oreos, was still thinking about the s'more bar. I'm still thinking about that damn bar today. Seriously, if you're craving something just let yourself have it and forgive yourself because you will eat way more trying to replace it with something else.
BTW, I'm making dessert for Easter and am torn between a triple chocolate poke cake I found on Pinterest or better than sex cake. Any suggestions? Oh, and s'mores0 -
One more confession for today and then I'm done. Saturday I was at a bridal shower and someone made s'more bars. I love, love, love anything s'mores but I couldn't have one because I gave up chocolate for lent. (What was I thinking?) So I ate a piece of fruit pizza, was still thinking of the s'more bar. Ate a piece of white cake with raspberry mouse filling, super yummy but was still thinking about the s'more bar. Went home and had some golden oreos, was still thinking about the s'more bar. I'm still thinking about that damn bar today. Seriously, if you're craving something just let yourself have it and forgive yourself because you will eat way more trying to replace it with something else.
BTW, I'm making dessert for Easter and am torn between a triple chocolate poke cake I found on Pinterest or better than sex cake. Any suggestions? Oh, and s'mores
I've been waiting for someone to make better than sex cake sex for a long time now.
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One more confession for today and then I'm done. Saturday I was at a bridal shower and someone made s'more bars. I love, love, love anything s'mores but I couldn't have one because I gave up chocolate for lent. (What was I thinking?) So I ate a piece of fruit pizza, was still thinking of the s'more bar. Ate a piece of white cake with raspberry mouse filling, super yummy but was still thinking about the s'more bar. Went home and had some golden oreos, was still thinking about the s'more bar. I'm still thinking about that damn bar today. Seriously, if you're craving something just let yourself have it and forgive yourself because you will eat way more trying to replace it with something else.
BTW, I'm making dessert for Easter and am torn between a triple chocolate poke cake I found on Pinterest or better than sex cake. Any suggestions? Oh, and s'mores
If you're not against alcohol of any kind, this Guinness cake is absolutely fantastic. I made it for St. Patty's day, and it's decadent, rich and almost lava cake like in texture. It does come in at ~550 calories per slice (16 slices per cake) though...
http://loveswah.com/2013/03/dark-chocolate-guinness-cake-with-baileys-cream-cheese-icing/0 -
Will_Run_for_Food wrote: »I was craving something sweet the other night but had absolutely nothing in the house that would satisfy me except some hot chocolate. So I ate two spoonfuls of the powder. Two spoonfuls. Of the powder.
I hide chocolate from my children and eat it when they're in bed! I'm a mean mummy.
I hide the honeycrisp apples and give my daughter galas or another variety. I'm very Trunchbull about it. Honeycrisp are much too good for children.
"Trunchbull!" I LOVE that reference! Matilda is one of my very favorite movies! I am also a Trunchbull when it comes to certain snacks with my children. I hide things in the back of the freezer, refrigerator, or pantry so my kids don't eat it before I can. (they have plenty of snacks, too....I just have certain ones that are "too good" for the kids to eat. Like chocolate covered cherries......Mmmmmmmmmmm)0 -
Wasn't hungry after school (big salad for lunch, and even 1/4 of a baked potato- go me) so of course I had a snack. By "snack" I mean I ate a mug full of steamed broccoli, the same amount of strawberries, and three rice cakes. Because I wasn't hungry. Time to go for a walk.
I'm doing great at this "intuitive eating" thing :P0 -
One more confession for today and then I'm done. Saturday I was at a bridal shower and someone made s'more bars. I love, love, love anything s'mores but I couldn't have one because I gave up chocolate for lent. (What was I thinking?) So I ate a piece of fruit pizza, was still thinking of the s'more bar. Ate a piece of white cake with raspberry mouse filling, super yummy but was still thinking about the s'more bar. Went home and had some golden oreos, was still thinking about the s'more bar. I'm still thinking about that damn bar today. Seriously, if you're craving something just let yourself have it and forgive yourself because you will eat way more trying to replace it with something else.
BTW, I'm making dessert for Easter and am torn between a triple chocolate poke cake I found on Pinterest or better than sex cake. Any suggestions? Oh, and s'mores
If you're not against alcohol of any kind, this Guinness cake is absolutely fantastic. I made it for St. Patty's day, and it's decadent, rich and almost lava cake like in texture. It does come in at ~550 calories per slice (16 slices per cake) though...
http://loveswah.com/2013/03/dark-chocolate-guinness-cake-with-baileys-cream-cheese-icing/
Sounds amazing! Thanks
ETA I am not against alcohol of any kind
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Some days I will eat less to allow for a vodka on the rocks or a whisky or two. I don't go over my daily, but a chunk of it is not good calories.0
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One more confession for today and then I'm done. Saturday I was at a bridal shower and someone made s'more bars. I love, love, love anything s'mores but I couldn't have one because I gave up chocolate for lent. (What was I thinking?) So I ate a piece of fruit pizza, was still thinking of the s'more bar. Ate a piece of white cake with raspberry mouse filling, super yummy but was still thinking about the s'more bar. Went home and had some golden oreos, was still thinking about the s'more bar. I'm still thinking about that damn bar today. Seriously, if you're craving something just let yourself have it and forgive yourself because you will eat way more trying to replace it with something else.
BTW, I'm making dessert for Easter and am torn between a triple chocolate poke cake I found on Pinterest or better than sex cake. Any suggestions? Oh, and s'mores
Amen. It never works.0 -
My abusive and estranged husband committed suicide last week. He was in jail after beating his current girlfriend and trying to kill her and he hung himself in his cell. When I first heard the news, to be honest, I was excited he was dead. For many reasons really...he was more than abusive, the man was straight evil. He was excessively controlling and mean, he was a psychopath and I am truly lucky to have been able to escape with my life. There were times I thought I wouldn't. And I have been worried for the last year and a half that he would find me again, and that he would kill me this time. Why do I feel like a liar every time I say anything like that...he had me so screwed up, still has me so screwed up, that I don't even believe myself half the time when I talk about it. I actually look at the scars on my body and I read the police report and I look back at the pictures and I still feel like it's all wrong.
Anyway...he's dead. And as happy as I am about it...I'm a little mad. But mad because he never had to face what he did, ever. He was never punished. He'll never be punished. And oh how I want him punished. I wish that I could have watched him die. And I think that makes me kind of awful.
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Oh and last confession! I made a MFP profile years ago and put in 140 as my weight even though I most likely wasn't because I didn't know it, so when I started using it again this year it kept saying I hadn't lost anything even though I lost almost a stone because I'm still way over 140. So I made a new profile with my January start weight then put in my new weight the next day so that when I check in it says 'mellb has lost 11lb so far', which I think makes me a bit shallow but it's nice to see it
I'm just the opposite--my MFP profile says that I've lost 11 pounds...it's actually 89. The eleven is just since I started tracking here in January.0 -
brandi9172 wrote: »My abusive and estranged husband committed suicide last week. He was in jail after beating his current girlfriend and trying to kill her and he hung himself in his cell. When I first heard the news, to be honest, I was excited he was dead. For many reasons really...he was more than abusive, the man was straight evil. He was excessively controlling and mean, he was a psychopath and I am truly lucky to have been able to escape with my life. There were times I thought I wouldn't. And I have been worried for the last year and a half that he would find me again, and that he would kill me this time. Why do I feel like a liar every time I say anything like that...he had me so screwed up, still has me so screwed up, that I don't even believe myself half the time when I talk about it. I actually look at the scars on my body and I read the police report and I look back at the pictures and I still feel like it's all wrong.
Anyway...he's dead. And as happy as I am about it...I'm a little mad. But mad because he never had to face what he did, ever. He was never punished. He'll never be punished. And oh how I want him punished. I wish that I could have watched him die. And I think that makes me kind of awful.
That makes you human. I'm glad he's out of your life.0 -
brandi9172 wrote: »My abusive and estranged husband committed suicide last week. He was in jail after beating his current girlfriend and trying to kill her and he hung himself in his cell. When I first heard the news, to be honest, I was excited he was dead. For many reasons really...he was more than abusive, the man was straight evil. He was excessively controlling and mean, he was a psychopath and I am truly lucky to have been able to escape with my life. There were times I thought I wouldn't. And I have been worried for the last year and a half that he would find me again, and that he would kill me this time. Why do I feel like a liar every time I say anything like that...he had me so screwed up, still has me so screwed up, that I don't even believe myself half the time when I talk about it. I actually look at the scars on my body and I read the police report and I look back at the pictures and I still feel like it's all wrong.
Anyway...he's dead. And as happy as I am about it...I'm a little mad. But mad because he never had to face what he did, ever. He was never punished. He'll never be punished. And oh how I want him punished. I wish that I could have watched him die. And I think that makes me kind of awful.
None of your feelings make you an awful person. I think it's 'normal' that you feel such hatred towards him, he must have had so much hate within himself to do the things he did to you and he didn't care how badly he hurt you.
Good riddance to bad rubbish I say!0 -
brandi9172 wrote: »My abusive and estranged husband committed suicide last week. He was in jail after beating his current girlfriend and trying to kill her and he hung himself in his cell. When I first heard the news, to be honest, I was excited he was dead. For many reasons really...he was more than abusive, the man was straight evil. He was excessively controlling and mean, he was a psychopath and I am truly lucky to have been able to escape with my life. There were times I thought I wouldn't. And I have been worried for the last year and a half that he would find me again, and that he would kill me this time. Why do I feel like a liar every time I say anything like that...he had me so screwed up, still has me so screwed up, that I don't even believe myself half the time when I talk about it. I actually look at the scars on my body and I read the police report and I look back at the pictures and I still feel like it's all wrong.
Anyway...he's dead. And as happy as I am about it...I'm a little mad. But mad because he never had to face what he did, ever. He was never punished. He'll never be punished. And oh how I want him punished. I wish that I could have watched him die. And I think that makes me kind of awful.
Oh, wow. I don't really know what to say, but I didn't want to ignore your post. Given the fact that he committed suicide I'd say he didn't go completely unpunished, but I do know what you mean. I was in an abusive relationship, but not nearly as bad as yours so I can somewhat relate. Just glad you are done with him and don't have to worry about it anymore. I wish you a period of healing and a happy, health future!0 -
brandi9172 wrote: »My abusive and estranged husband committed suicide last week. He was in jail after beating his current girlfriend and trying to kill her and he hung himself in his cell. When I first heard the news, to be honest, I was excited he was dead. For many reasons really...he was more than abusive, the man was straight evil. He was excessively controlling and mean, he was a psychopath and I am truly lucky to have been able to escape with my life. There were times I thought I wouldn't. And I have been worried for the last year and a half that he would find me again, and that he would kill me this time. Why do I feel like a liar every time I say anything like that...he had me so screwed up, still has me so screwed up, that I don't even believe myself half the time when I talk about it. I actually look at the scars on my body and I read the police report and I look back at the pictures and I still feel like it's all wrong.
Anyway...he's dead. And as happy as I am about it...I'm a little mad. But mad because he never had to face what he did, ever. He was never punished. He'll never be punished. And oh how I want him punished. I wish that I could have watched him die. And I think that makes me kind of awful.
I don't think that makes you awful at all, I think it makes you human.
And depending on your religious beliefs, he may well be getting punished right now. For my own part, I believe in karma and the universe will always ensure balance. Debts are always paid
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Some days I will eat less to allow for a vodka on the rocks or a whisky or two. I don't go over my daily, but a chunk of it is not good calories.
I do this. My main, healthiest meal is lunch so that I can have fuel for my after-work workout, so I look forward to my 1 or 2 evening cocktails. If I'm hungry at all I'll have fresh, raw vegetables to snack on.0 -
And one more confession: my husband who is naturally thin, no matter how much he doesn't exercise or eats crap, is absolutely the least supportive person on the planet regarding my weight loss and fitness journey. And I kind of have begun to hate him for it, as well as "letting myself go" just to prove my point. I know, that's not the way to do it, but now that I'm at my heaviest point in my life (including during my 2 pregnancies), he is suddenly "OK" with me going to the gym and cooking healthier. Before it seemed like a jealousy issue, everytime I wanted to go workout, there would be backhanded comments about me meeting a "boyfriend" there, or spending so much of my free time at the gym. And the healthy cooking was such an offense to him..."I'm not eating this crap. Just because YOU are on a diet doesn't mean the whole family has to be." Now he seems very supportive about me going... even asks how my workouts went. I don't know if my weight gain due to not working out changed his mind, or if he really just had an epiphany.......either way, I don't care.0
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brandi9172 wrote: »My abusive and estranged husband committed suicide last week. He was in jail after beating his current girlfriend and trying to kill her and he hung himself in his cell. When I first heard the news, to be honest, I was excited he was dead. For many reasons really...he was more than abusive, the man was straight evil. He was excessively controlling and mean, he was a psychopath and I am truly lucky to have been able to escape with my life. There were times I thought I wouldn't. And I have been worried for the last year and a half that he would find me again, and that he would kill me this time. Why do I feel like a liar every time I say anything like that...he had me so screwed up, still has me so screwed up, that I don't even believe myself half the time when I talk about it. I actually look at the scars on my body and I read the police report and I look back at the pictures and I still feel like it's all wrong.
Anyway...he's dead. And as happy as I am about it...I'm a little mad. But mad because he never had to face what he did, ever. He was never punished. He'll never be punished. And oh how I want him punished. I wish that I could have watched him die. And I think that makes me kind of awful.
Wow. I can understand your anger at the lack of justice. At least you and his current girlfriend are now safe. Take care!0 -
brandi9172 wrote: »My abusive and estranged husband committed suicide last week. He was in jail after beating his current girlfriend and trying to kill her and he hung himself in his cell. When I first heard the news, to be honest, I was excited he was dead. For many reasons really...he was more than abusive, the man was straight evil. He was excessively controlling and mean, he was a psychopath and I am truly lucky to have been able to escape with my life. There were times I thought I wouldn't. And I have been worried for the last year and a half that he would find me again, and that he would kill me this time. Why do I feel like a liar every time I say anything like that...he had me so screwed up, still has me so screwed up, that I don't even believe myself half the time when I talk about it. I actually look at the scars on my body and I read the police report and I look back at the pictures and I still feel like it's all wrong.
Anyway...he's dead. And as happy as I am about it...I'm a little mad. But mad because he never had to face what he did, ever. He was never punished. He'll never be punished. And oh how I want him punished. I wish that I could have watched him die. And I think that makes me kind of awful.
None of your feelings make you an awful person. I think it's 'normal' that you feel such hatred towards him, he must have had so much hate within himself to do the things he did to you and he didn't care how badly he hurt you.
This is really well put.0 -
A more light-hearted confession for my American football friends: I LOVE J.J. Watt. And I'm a Bears fan...
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lemurcat12 wrote: »brandi9172 wrote: »My abusive and estranged husband committed suicide last week. He was in jail after beating his current girlfriend and trying to kill her and he hung himself in his cell. When I first heard the news, to be honest, I was excited he was dead. For many reasons really...he was more than abusive, the man was straight evil. He was excessively controlling and mean, he was a psychopath and I am truly lucky to have been able to escape with my life. There were times I thought I wouldn't. And I have been worried for the last year and a half that he would find me again, and that he would kill me this time. Why do I feel like a liar every time I say anything like that...he had me so screwed up, still has me so screwed up, that I don't even believe myself half the time when I talk about it. I actually look at the scars on my body and I read the police report and I look back at the pictures and I still feel like it's all wrong.
Anyway...he's dead. And as happy as I am about it...I'm a little mad. But mad because he never had to face what he did, ever. He was never punished. He'll never be punished. And oh how I want him punished. I wish that I could have watched him die. And I think that makes me kind of awful.
None of your feelings make you an awful person. I think it's 'normal' that you feel such hatred towards him, he must have had so much hate within himself to do the things he did to you and he didn't care how badly he hurt you.
This is really well put.
He was the most miserable person I've ever known. And that makes me feel sad for him...but he was the most evil person I've ever known as well. And now I feel confused.0
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