Bad advice thread

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Replies

  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
    Carpedieznutz wrote: »
    @SojournerThirteen ouch, this pains me and I am biologically penis free :s

    Don't bother cleaning up the blood splatters and hair samples you created in the murder scene it helps confuse the detectives.

    Okkkkkk you don't bite down/chew/gnaw/puncture. Just an occasional light scraping (don't break the skin!!!). Same fashion as applying pressure with teeth on a woman's nipples.
  • tibo1783
    tibo1783 Posts: 2,474 Member
    Always point out a strangers weird facial features out loud
  • Carpedieznutz
    Carpedieznutz Posts: 1,166 Member
    ^ hahahaha

    You can do whatever homosexual act you please without qualifying as 'Gay' as long as you say "No Homo"
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
    Carpedieznutz wrote: »
    @SojournerThirteen ouch, this pains me and I am biologically penis free :s

    Don't bother cleaning up the blood splatters and hair samples you created in the murder scene it helps confuse the detectives.

    You make me laugh though!
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
    When sucking on toes make sure to bite down firmly and pull away until you hear the toe knuckle crack--this drives women to squirting orgasms!
  • HumboldtFred
    HumboldtFred Posts: 159 Member
    I'm from the government, and I'm here to help.
  • mygnsac
    mygnsac Posts: 13,413 Member
    edited April 2015
    A couple I fell for in my youth...
    • You have to join this club called Columbia House. They mail you any 12 records {yes, this was back in the days of vinyl!} for only 99¢!
    • It's actually easier to learn to drive on a standard. {My Dad sold me on that, but then had one of his friends teach me how to drive!}
  • Carpedieznutz
    Carpedieznutz Posts: 1,166 Member
    Always address your dates father as "ma'am" on the first meet and greet. He will take it as a sign of respect.
  • JeopardyRight
    JeopardyRight Posts: 331 Member
    Doing a lot of cocain is really good for you.
  • tibo1783
    tibo1783 Posts: 2,474 Member
    lol ^^

    Its a good idea to smoke and Drink during your 3rd trimester
  • whitneysin
    whitneysin Posts: 605 Member
    edited April 2015
    Ask your new girlfriend how much she weighs!
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
    When your wife asks you if an outfit makes her look fat, just be honest--you will get extra special nookie from her
  • Carpedieznutz
    Carpedieznutz Posts: 1,166 Member
    If you are bit by a venomous animal smother dirt on the wound, the natural minerals will help cleanse any infection
  • jiigglybutt
    jiigglybutt Posts: 345 Member
    Don't drink too much water!! You don't want to hold onto unnecessary water weight!
  • ScorpioJack_91
    ScorpioJack_91 Posts: 5,241 Member
    Eat Chinese food and then go work out 10 minutes later
  • TristanMacNessaCampbell
    TristanMacNessaCampbell Posts: 79 Member
    Carpedieznutz wrote: »
    ^ hahahaha

    You can do whatever homosexual act you please without qualifying as 'Gay' as long as you say "No Homo"

    lol!
  • TristanMacNessaCampbell
    TristanMacNessaCampbell Posts: 79 Member
    when driving its best to speed through pedestrian crosses.
  • fitcurves6693
    fitcurves6693 Posts: 3,401 Member
    Change your blinker fluid every 1000 miles
  • techgal128
    techgal128 Posts: 719 Member
    Bill8855 wrote: »
    Drugs make you smart and attractive

    No, drugs make OTHER people smart and attractive. :D
  • JeopardyRight
    JeopardyRight Posts: 331 Member
    Always go to a second location with a gunman
  • Noelv1976
    Noelv1976 Posts: 18,948 Member
    Drink a cup of soda before your 10k. The caffeine will give you the energy that you will need at the finish line
  • slucki01
    slucki01 Posts: 284 Member
    It's a good idea to kick-start your weight loss with a detox
  • softblondechick
    softblondechick Posts: 1,275 Member
    Call in sick on an awesome powder skiing day. And post a Facebook pic of yourself on the tram.
  • Bennysammysofie39
    Bennysammysofie39 Posts: 199 Member
    Just do it, her husband will never find out
  • deanpollman
    deanpollman Posts: 137 Member
    Tie weights and hang them from ur wiener to make it bigger
  • JeopardyRight
    JeopardyRight Posts: 331 Member
    deanpollman wrote: »
    Tie weights and hang them from ur wiener to make it bigger
    Lmfao
  • oneunfitdad
    oneunfitdad Posts: 911 Member
    Eating yellow snow is good for digestion
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
    What you don't know can't hurt you
  • Bennysammysofie39
    Bennysammysofie39 Posts: 199 Member
    Taste this
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    You should always eat with your mouth open. People love the noises.
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