Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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quiksylver296 wrote: »
I second that statement. Can we clone him?
Knock yourself out. Let me know how that works out for you.
He's not without flaws though. His flatulence can clear full rooms and he tends to be a workaholic. He is a perfectionist so when he sets a goal, he'll do whatever it takes to reach it. That's both a gift and curse.
God definitely knew what He was doing when He molded that guy. I'm just incredibly humbled He chose me for him. *I'm not crying.
To all you singles out there, DO NOT SETTLE! You deserve someone that thinks the world of you and will do whatever it takes to make you feel like the most important person in their life. If they don't, move on. Luckily, God practically dropped my honey in lap. He knew I was lazy.
Eh. I find farts funnier than burps, so I will still take that clone. Also I agree with not settling. Been single for pssshhh Almost 4 years and i refuse to waste time on people that do not fully interest me.0 -
flamingblades wrote: »I ate a pint of haggendauz dulce la leche Thursday night. A full pint.
I'm jealous to the extreme! Not a big icecream fan, but this I love!0 -
I've been extremely, extremely depressed today. I've only gotten out of bed to pray my five daily prayers and then got right back into it to cry and sleep and cry and sleep some more. I figured that if I slept long enough, I might not wake up again. Didn't quite work, as you can see. *sigh*
On a related confession, I feel so guilty that I can suffer from severe depression when I have such a wonderful life. A wonderful husband, a beautiful apartment, everything I need or want at my fingertips. So many people have nothing and so many people want to live, so what right do I have to want to die? Also, what in the world is so wrong with me that I would feel this way when my life is almost perfect, especially when compared to my childhood? One of the supreme mysteries of the universe. :-/0 -
krissyreminisce wrote: »Thanks everyone! Here are my official results.
Happy dance!!! Very nicely done! It makes me smile for you!! Sitting here smiling
Now (putting on a running coach voice) go get your recovery foods. My SO swears by chocolate milk after runs.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »I've been extremely, extremely depressed today. I've only gotten out of bed to pray my five daily prayers and then got right back into it to cry and sleep and cry and sleep some more. I figured that if I slept long enough, I might not wake up again. Didn't quite work, as you can see. *sigh*
On a related confession, I feel so guilty that I can suffer from severe depression when I have such a wonderful life. A wonderful husband, a beautiful apartment, everything I need or want at my fingertips. So many people have nothing and so many people want to live, so what right do I have to want to die? Also, what in the world is so wrong with me that I would feel this way when my life is almost perfect, especially when compared to my childhood? One of the supreme mysteries of the universe. :-/
I'm sorry.... I want to hug you right now. I'm glad you woke up.
And it's no mystery, it's faulty chemistry. I'm amazed at how much power and control our bodily chemistry (hormones or whatever) has over our emotions, and I've only had minimal experience myself via PMS and menopause.
My best friend suffers from chronic, medication-resistant depression and she has a wonderful life too. It's got nothing to do with environment, situation or events... just brain chemistry.0 -
I can't edit on my phone. Meant to add that chocolate milk does not sound good to me but to each his own.0
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Edit: This is to Susie:
Oh, I'm so sorry you're feeling bad. There's no rhyme or reason to depression, so try not feel like you're wrong to feel the way you do. I think guilt is a very common issue.
I'm very worried about your talk of dying though. Do you have a doctor who's helping you? Is your husband around?0 -
I try not to. Look at the shoes my sister bought me when she was in the UK last week. I love them an inordinate amount.quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »salembambi wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »I just walked by the local high school on my lunch break. Confession: so glad I'm years beyond high school. Question: did high school aged girls always look like hookers? The amazingly short shorts with crop tops/sport bras! Holy *kitten*-child, Batman!
are you serious ? calling young girls *kitten* and hookers?sexualizing them ...how nice
they can wear whatever they want just like any other girl or women
geezus
Was it the "absolutely" the "no" or the "judgment" that tripped you up?
Amen. And I agree about clothes, heck some things that 10yo girls wear make me shake my head sometimes.
Me too. And I seriously question their parents judgement.
Sometimes I wonder if their parents know how they're dressing. I've heard of kids wearing one outfit leaving home and changing at school.
I would do that in high school. Change in the back of the bus. But I don't remember it being that extreme. I had a catsuit that I would wear under ripped jeans (oh, the 90's!). My mom hated that catsuit. LOL
As well she should have. Really, a catsuit?! I think we all need to see pictures.
I don't think I have any. It was long-sleeved and flowered and zipped up the back. The cloth would show through the rips in the jeans. I thought I was pretty awesome in that. Wish I had the body I had then.
ETA: I feel like I should add this from Wikipedia: A catsuit is a close-fitting one-piece garment that covers the torso and the legs, and frequently the arms.[1] They are usually made from stretchable material, such as lycra, chiffon, spandex.
How did you use the restroom while wearing this thing?! This is why women go to restroom in pairs.
Well, you didn't wait until the last minute, that's for sure!
I'm all about the jumpsuits right now and to pee, you have to undress to the waist and kind of sling it over one arm...let's just say I won't be wearing them to any festivals this year with any kind of port-o-potties because they are exceedingly difficult to keep off the floor.
Also, on the clothing note, I grew up in that part of the 90s where crop tops AND low-rise jeans were in style at the same time, so I'm just relieved that at least the trend now seems to be high-rise bottoms with the crop tops so you only see the upper half of the stomach. Way cuter.
I remember how bad I wanted a pair of low rise Levi's when their "belly button" commercials came out. Remember those?
Definitely! I also had a pair of super-low-rise jeans that had a LACE UP fly instead of a zipper or buttons...klassy klassy klassy. Looking back I cannot believe my mother let me out of the house in them as I think you could see my hipbones above the waistband. I definitely wore those to school though...
I had a pair of pants like that too. LOVED them. Christina Aguilera wore pants in a couple videos that laced up on the hips, and I wanted a pair so bad!
ETA: Although the fashion may be different, I suppose teenage girls are the same lol.
Right? I see them around and I'm mostly just relieved that there aren't visible g-strings like when I was their age. The leggings and crop tops are not nearly as offensive or revealing, thankfully. And I love that lots of very loose, flowy tops and dresses are trendy now. Way better than those painted-on ultra low-rise jeans and tube tops I loved...not to mention the platforms and huge wedge heels. I had a pair of six-inch wedge sandals that laced up my calves too about fifteen years ago...eesh. Ooh, and the huge chunky highlights on the flatironed hair.
I'm not even 30 yet so it's a little early for pearl-clutching but I seriously think teenagers today don't look nearly as, uh, trashy as my high school classmates did.
Oh ya, I forgot about that... I wasn't one to have my underwear hanging out, but there were lots of girls out like that. I guess I can no longer talk about "kids these days" when it comes to fashion choices
noaddedsugarx wrote: »
Oh ya, I forgot about that... I wasn't one to have my underwear hanging out, but there were lots of girls out like that. I guess I can no longer talk about "kids these days" when it comes to fashion choices
I remember girls used to pull their thong up on purpose so it was showing and the Head Teacher called a girls assembly in school to stop it from happening.
Ps. When I'm on this board I find myself constantly questioning if I should Americanize words cos a lot of you are from there. I've thought this about Mum/Mom, sunbeds/tanning beds, Head teacher/Principal, bum/butt, *kitten*/*kitten* and I'm sure there's more...
Jumper always got me. How does that equal sweater? LOL
I have a friend who got very irritated when I told him that every time he mentioned his "jumper," I was picturing him wearing one of these:
Nice.
I have to admit I had some of those jeans with the fold down button fly. I believe they were even acid wash with ankle zippers. I also, I'm sad to admit, had a pair of low rise skintight jeans that had no pockets but did have a huge attached faux belt. I wore these AFTER I had my daughter and I thought I looked hot. I looked ridiculous.
I'm glad I dress more classic and age appropriate now.
I'm so jealous right now. I have some chucks in aruba blue (aka turquoise) and I wear them everywhere. I love the patterned ones though.
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »I've been extremely, extremely depressed today. I've only gotten out of bed to pray my five daily prayers and then got right back into it to cry and sleep and cry and sleep some more. I figured that if I slept long enough, I might not wake up again. Didn't quite work, as you can see. *sigh*
On a related confession, I feel so guilty that I can suffer from severe depression when I have such a wonderful life. A wonderful husband, a beautiful apartment, everything I need or want at my fingertips. So many people have nothing and so many people want to live, so what right do I have to want to die? Also, what in the world is so wrong with me that I would feel this way when my life is almost perfect, especially when compared to my childhood? One of the supreme mysteries of the universe. :-/
It's understandable to feel like that, but you should try not to (easier said than done, I know). Depression is not something you can control by out thinking it. You have no reason to feel guilty. Im sorry you're having a hard day/time right now. Hang in there.0 -
Edit: This is to Susie:
Oh, I'm so sorry you're feeling bad. There's no rhyme or reason to depression, so try not feel like you're wrong to feel the way you do. I think guilt is a very common issue.
I'm very worried about your talk of dying though. Do you have a doctor who's helping you? Is your husband around?
Not to worry, I've never been suicidal. I just want to... Stop existing, if that makes sense. It's almost midnight here and my husband is asleep, but he's around to wake up if I need him.
Nope, I don't have a doctor. I mentioned it like five million posts back, but I'm terrified of doctors. I tried to get help once and I just couldn't make it through the sessions. I broke down after my second one and never went back. I also never spoke to the doctor directly (my husband had to speak for me), because I have selective mutism and couldn't speak. It was a pretty useless attempt, to be honest. :-/0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »I've been extremely, extremely depressed today. I've only gotten out of bed to pray my five daily prayers and then got right back into it to cry and sleep and cry and sleep some more. I figured that if I slept long enough, I might not wake up again. Didn't quite work, as you can see. *sigh*
On a related confession, I feel so guilty that I can suffer from severe depression when I have such a wonderful life. A wonderful husband, a beautiful apartment, everything I need or want at my fingertips. So many people have nothing and so many people want to live, so what right do I have to want to die? Also, what in the world is so wrong with me that I would feel this way when my life is almost perfect, especially when compared to my childhood? One of the supreme mysteries of the universe. :-/
I'm sorry.... I want to hug you right now. I'm glad you woke up.
And it's no mystery, it's faulty chemistry. I'm amazed at how much power and control our bodily chemistry (hormones or whatever) has over our emotions, and I've only had minimal experience myself via PMS and menopause.
My best friend suffers from chronic, medication-resistant depression and she has a wonderful life too. It's got nothing to do with environment, situation or events... just brain chemistry.
Not for long, I'm totally going back to bed. But I figured I'd check in here first.
Rationally, I understand that it isn't really my fault that I feel this way. But in my heart of hearts I can't help but hate myself and feel like I'm ungrateful to my husband and to God for feeling depressed so often. I try so hard to keep my spirits up, but sometimes I just... Can't. Today is one of those days.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »salembambi wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »I just walked by the local high school on my lunch break. Confession: so glad I'm years beyond high school. Question: did high school aged girls always look like hookers? The amazingly short shorts with crop tops/sport bras! Holy *kitten*-child, Batman!
are you serious ? calling young girls *kitten* and hookers?sexualizing them ...how nice
they can wear whatever they want just like any other girl or women
geezus
Was it the "absolutely" the "no" or the "judgment" that tripped you up?
Amen. And I agree about clothes, heck some things that 10yo girls wear make me shake my head sometimes.
Me too. And I seriously question their parents judgement.
Sometimes I wonder if their parents know how they're dressing. I've heard of kids wearing one outfit leaving home and changing at school.
I would do that in high school. Change in the back of the bus. But I don't remember it being that extreme. I had a catsuit that I would wear under ripped jeans (oh, the 90's!). My mom hated that catsuit. LOL
As well she should have. Really, a catsuit?! I think we all need to see pictures.
I don't think I have any. It was long-sleeved and flowered and zipped up the back. The cloth would show through the rips in the jeans. I thought I was pretty awesome in that. Wish I had the body I had then.
ETA: I feel like I should add this from Wikipedia: A catsuit is a close-fitting one-piece garment that covers the torso and the legs, and frequently the arms.[1] They are usually made from stretchable material, such as lycra, chiffon, spandex.
How did you use the restroom while wearing this thing?! This is why women go to restroom in pairs.
Well, you didn't wait until the last minute, that's for sure!
I'm all about the jumpsuits right now and to pee, you have to undress to the waist and kind of sling it over one arm...let's just say I won't be wearing them to any festivals this year with any kind of port-o-potties because they are exceedingly difficult to keep off the floor.
Also, on the clothing note, I grew up in that part of the 90s where crop tops AND low-rise jeans were in style at the same time, so I'm just relieved that at least the trend now seems to be high-rise bottoms with the crop tops so you only see the upper half of the stomach. Way cuter.
I remember how bad I wanted a pair of low rise Levi's when their "belly button" commercials came out. Remember those?
Definitely! I also had a pair of super-low-rise jeans that had a LACE UP fly instead of a zipper or buttons...klassy klassy klassy. Looking back I cannot believe my mother let me out of the house in them as I think you could see my hipbones above the waistband. I definitely wore those to school though...
I had a pair of pants like that too. LOVED them. Christina Aguilera wore pants in a couple videos that laced up on the hips, and I wanted a pair so bad!
ETA: Although the fashion may be different, I suppose teenage girls are the same lol.
Right? I see them around and I'm mostly just relieved that there aren't visible g-strings like when I was their age. The leggings and crop tops are not nearly as offensive or revealing, thankfully. And I love that lots of very loose, flowy tops and dresses are trendy now. Way better than those painted-on ultra low-rise jeans and tube tops I loved...not to mention the platforms and huge wedge heels. I had a pair of six-inch wedge sandals that laced up my calves too about fifteen years ago...eesh. Ooh, and the huge chunky highlights on the flatironed hair.
I'm not even 30 yet so it's a little early for pearl-clutching but I seriously think teenagers today don't look nearly as, uh, trashy as my high school classmates did.
Oh ya, I forgot about that... I wasn't one to have my underwear hanging out, but there were lots of girls out like that. I guess I can no longer talk about "kids these days" when it comes to fashion choicesnoaddedsugarx wrote: »
Oh ya, I forgot about that... I wasn't one to have my underwear hanging out, but there were lots of girls out like that. I guess I can no longer talk about "kids these days" when it comes to fashion choices
I remember girls used to pull their thong up on purpose so it was showing and the Head Teacher called a girls assembly in school to stop it from happening.
Ps. When I'm on this board I find myself constantly questioning if I should Americanize words cos a lot of you are from there. I've thought this about Mum/Mom, sunbeds/tanning beds, Head teacher/Principal, bum/butt, *kitten*/*kitten* and I'm sure there's more...
Jumper always got me. How does that equal sweater? LOL
I have a friend who got very irritated when I told him that every time he mentioned his "jumper," I was picturing him wearing one of these:
Nice.
I have to admit I had some of those jeans with the fold down button fly. I believe they were even acid wash with ankle zippers. I also, I'm sad to admit, had a pair of low rise skintight jeans that had no pockets but did have a huge attached faux belt. I wore these AFTER I had my daughter and I thought I looked hot. I looked ridiculous.
I'm glad I dress more classic and age appropriate now.
I'm 44 and my daughter is 16. We are just about exactly the same size (she's a bit more slender and a bit taller but same clothing and shoe size. We have different coloring and face shapes but people instantly know she's my daughter.) We very often look at each other in the morning and realize that we're matchy matchy. For example a blue knit v neck top, jeans, boots and hair in a ponytail. It makes me laugh and makes her stomp off to change. She's fairly conservative and classic in her dress and dresses up often. My work is often in a lab so jeans are often fine. I tell her that either I have good taste or she has horrible taste in clothes. She wears a summer dress that I bought 22 years ago and looks lovely in it. She took and kept some jeans, riding boots, pumps, and a few dresses. So my question: What is age appropriate and what is ageless?0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I've been extremely, extremely depressed today. I've only gotten out of bed to pray my five daily prayers and then got right back into it to cry and sleep and cry and sleep some more. I figured that if I slept long enough, I might not wake up again. Didn't quite work, as you can see. *sigh*
On a related confession, I feel so guilty that I can suffer from severe depression when I have such a wonderful life. A wonderful husband, a beautiful apartment, everything I need or want at my fingertips. So many people have nothing and so many people want to live, so what right do I have to want to die? Also, what in the world is so wrong with me that I would feel this way when my life is almost perfect, especially when compared to my childhood? One of the supreme mysteries of the universe. :-/
It's understandable to feel like that, but you should try not to (easier said than done, I know). Depression is not something you can control by out thinking it. You have no reason to feel guilty. Im sorry you're having a hard day/time right now. Hang in there.
Thank you. Yup, much easier said than done, but I'm trying. I'm hanging in there like a kitten on a branch. (anyone seen that poster before?) 0 -
Thanks! They are Cath Kidston - a British designer whose prints I just love. I'm currently experiencing an urgent need to buy an older travel trailer and do it all out in her floral and polka dot prints.berlynnwall wrote: »
I try not to. Look at the shoes my sister bought me when she was in the UK last week. I love them an inordinate amount.quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »salembambi wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »I just walked by the local high school on my lunch break. Confession: so glad I'm years beyond high school. Question: did high school aged girls always look like hookers? The amazingly short shorts with crop tops/sport bras! Holy *kitten*-child, Batman!
are you serious ? calling young girls *kitten* and hookers?sexualizing them ...how nice
they can wear whatever they want just like any other girl or women
geezus
Was it the "absolutely" the "no" or the "judgment" that tripped you up?
Amen. And I agree about clothes, heck some things that 10yo girls wear make me shake my head sometimes.
Me too. And I seriously question their parents judgement.
Sometimes I wonder if their parents know how they're dressing. I've heard of kids wearing one outfit leaving home and changing at school.
I would do that in high school. Change in the back of the bus. But I don't remember it being that extreme. I had a catsuit that I would wear under ripped jeans (oh, the 90's!). My mom hated that catsuit. LOL
As well she should have. Really, a catsuit?! I think we all need to see pictures.
I don't think I have any. It was long-sleeved and flowered and zipped up the back. The cloth would show through the rips in the jeans. I thought I was pretty awesome in that. Wish I had the body I had then.
ETA: I feel like I should add this from Wikipedia: A catsuit is a close-fitting one-piece garment that covers the torso and the legs, and frequently the arms.[1] They are usually made from stretchable material, such as lycra, chiffon, spandex.
How did you use the restroom while wearing this thing?! This is why women go to restroom in pairs.
Well, you didn't wait until the last minute, that's for sure!
I'm all about the jumpsuits right now and to pee, you have to undress to the waist and kind of sling it over one arm...let's just say I won't be wearing them to any festivals this year with any kind of port-o-potties because they are exceedingly difficult to keep off the floor.
Also, on the clothing note, I grew up in that part of the 90s where crop tops AND low-rise jeans were in style at the same time, so I'm just relieved that at least the trend now seems to be high-rise bottoms with the crop tops so you only see the upper half of the stomach. Way cuter.
I remember how bad I wanted a pair of low rise Levi's when their "belly button" commercials came out. Remember those?
Definitely! I also had a pair of super-low-rise jeans that had a LACE UP fly instead of a zipper or buttons...klassy klassy klassy. Looking back I cannot believe my mother let me out of the house in them as I think you could see my hipbones above the waistband. I definitely wore those to school though...
I had a pair of pants like that too. LOVED them. Christina Aguilera wore pants in a couple videos that laced up on the hips, and I wanted a pair so bad!
ETA: Although the fashion may be different, I suppose teenage girls are the same lol.
Right? I see them around and I'm mostly just relieved that there aren't visible g-strings like when I was their age. The leggings and crop tops are not nearly as offensive or revealing, thankfully. And I love that lots of very loose, flowy tops and dresses are trendy now. Way better than those painted-on ultra low-rise jeans and tube tops I loved...not to mention the platforms and huge wedge heels. I had a pair of six-inch wedge sandals that laced up my calves too about fifteen years ago...eesh. Ooh, and the huge chunky highlights on the flatironed hair.
I'm not even 30 yet so it's a little early for pearl-clutching but I seriously think teenagers today don't look nearly as, uh, trashy as my high school classmates did.
Oh ya, I forgot about that... I wasn't one to have my underwear hanging out, but there were lots of girls out like that. I guess I can no longer talk about "kids these days" when it comes to fashion choicesnoaddedsugarx wrote: »
Oh ya, I forgot about that... I wasn't one to have my underwear hanging out, but there were lots of girls out like that. I guess I can no longer talk about "kids these days" when it comes to fashion choices
I remember girls used to pull their thong up on purpose so it was showing and the Head Teacher called a girls assembly in school to stop it from happening.
Ps. When I'm on this board I find myself constantly questioning if I should Americanize words cos a lot of you are from there. I've thought this about Mum/Mom, sunbeds/tanning beds, Head teacher/Principal, bum/butt, *kitten*/*kitten* and I'm sure there's more...
Jumper always got me. How does that equal sweater? LOL
I have a friend who got very irritated when I told him that every time he mentioned his "jumper," I was picturing him wearing one of these:
Nice.
I have to admit I had some of those jeans with the fold down button fly. I believe they were even acid wash with ankle zippers. I also, I'm sad to admit, had a pair of low rise skintight jeans that had no pockets but did have a huge attached faux belt. I wore these AFTER I had my daughter and I thought I looked hot. I looked ridiculous.
I'm glad I dress more classic and age appropriate now.
I'm so jealous right now. I have some chucks in aruba blue (aka turquoise) and I wear them everywhere. I love the patterned ones though.
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Ok, glad to hear things aren't critical.Susieq_1994 wrote: »Edit: This is to Susie:
Oh, I'm so sorry you're feeling bad. There's no rhyme or reason to depression, so try not feel like you're wrong to feel the way you do. I think guilt is a very common issue.
I'm very worried about your talk of dying though. Do you have a doctor who's helping you? Is your husband around?
Not to worry, I've never been suicidal. I just want to... Stop existing, if that makes sense. It's almost midnight here and my husband is asleep, but he's around to wake up if I need him.
Nope, I don't have a doctor. I mentioned it like five million posts back, but I'm terrified of doctors. I tried to get help once and I just couldn't make it through the sessions. I broke down after my second one and never went back. I also never spoke to the doctor directly (my husband had to speak for me), because I have selective mutism and couldn't speak. It was a pretty useless attempt, to be honest. :-/
Can you research a doctor who might be more approachable? There are so many medications and therapies available that might be able to make life a lot more bearable for you. Is your husband sympathetic? Maybe he could make an initial appointment to discuss your issues with the doctor first, so s/he would have a basic understanding before you went along. Is a female doctor an option? I recall that you suffer from agoraphobia - are home visits possible there?
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quiksylver296 wrote: »
I second that statement. Can we clone him?
Knock yourself out. Let me know how that works out for you. He's not without flaws though. His flatulence can clear full rooms and he tends to be a workaholic. He is a perfectionist so when he sets a goal, he'll do whatever it takes to reach it. That's both a gift and curse.
God definitely knew what He was doing when He molded that guy. I'm just incredibly humbled He chose me for him. *I'm not crying.
To all you singles out there, DO NOT SETTLE! You deserve someone that thinks the world of you and will do whatever it takes to make you feel like the most important person in their life. If they don't, move on. Luckily, God practically dropped my honey in lap. He knew I was lazy.
Amen. This is something I tell all my nieces of marrying age.0 -
Ok, glad to hear things aren't critical.Susieq_1994 wrote: »Edit: This is to Susie:
Oh, I'm so sorry you're feeling bad. There's no rhyme or reason to depression, so try not feel like you're wrong to feel the way you do. I think guilt is a very common issue.
I'm very worried about your talk of dying though. Do you have a doctor who's helping you? Is your husband around?
Not to worry, I've never been suicidal. I just want to... Stop existing, if that makes sense. It's almost midnight here and my husband is asleep, but he's around to wake up if I need him.
Nope, I don't have a doctor. I mentioned it like five million posts back, but I'm terrified of doctors. I tried to get help once and I just couldn't make it through the sessions. I broke down after my second one and never went back. I also never spoke to the doctor directly (my husband had to speak for me), because I have selective mutism and couldn't speak. It was a pretty useless attempt, to be honest. :-/
Can you research a doctor who might be more approachable? There are so many medications and therapies available that might be able to make life a lot more bearable for you. Is your husband sympathetic? Maybe he could make an initial appointment to discuss your issues with the doctor first, so s/he would have a basic understanding before you went along. Is a female doctor an option? I recall that you suffer from agoraphobia - are home visits possible there?
Unfortunately, therapy options in Saudi Arabia are extremely limited, and the hospital my husband's insurance covers has very limited amounts of doctors. Only one psychiatrist was experienced with my particular condition (Functional Neurological Disorder accompanied by anxiety disorder, clinical depression, and selective mutism), and none of the available therapists seemed to have experience in CBT. I made an appointment with one female therapist, but chickened out and canceled at the last minute, though, so I can't say for sure.
My husband is very sympathetic and knows exactly what I'm going through because he has some similar issues. He's medicated though, and I'm not. He's my best (and only) cheerleader, actually. And on a bright note, he told me a couple of days ago that my anxiety has improved in leaps and bounds over the past month or so, and I attributed a lot my success to the support in this thread.
Home visits don't really exist here, and I'm not sure that they'd be easier or more comfortable for me.
And the psychiatrist that I did manage to see kind of gave up on letting me talk and wouldn't even wait for me to try to speak after the first session--He just tried throwing medication at me without even letting me speak. I was very disheartened after that. 0 -
Please forgive me for I have sinned. Lots of times0
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I've been extremely, extremely depressed today. I've only gotten out of bed to pray my five daily prayers and then got right back into it to cry and sleep and cry and sleep some more. I figured that if I slept long enough, I might not wake up again. Didn't quite work, as you can see. *sigh*
On a related confession, I feel so guilty that I can suffer from severe depression when I have such a wonderful life. A wonderful husband, a beautiful apartment, everything I need or want at my fingertips. So many people have nothing and so many people want to live, so what right do I have to want to die? Also, what in the world is so wrong with me that I would feel this way when my life is almost perfect, especially when compared to my childhood? One of the supreme mysteries of the universe. :-/
I'm sorry.... I want to hug you right now. I'm glad you woke up.
And it's no mystery, it's faulty chemistry. I'm amazed at how much power and control our bodily chemistry (hormones or whatever) has over our emotions, and I've only had minimal experience myself via PMS and menopause.
My best friend suffers from chronic, medication-resistant depression and she has a wonderful life too. It's got nothing to do with environment, situation or events... just brain chemistry.
Not for long, I'm totally going back to bed. But I figured I'd check in here first.
Rationally, I understand that it isn't really my fault that I feel this way. But in my heart of hearts I can't help but hate myself and feel like I'm ungrateful to my husband and to God for feeling depressed so often. I try so hard to keep my spirits up, but sometimes I just... Can't. Today is one of those days.
I understand. My friend feels the same way, that her depression is a personal failing or weakness (even though she knows differently) and she "should" be able to pull out of it herself. She feels doubly bad about it now that it looks like her daughter has inherited the condition, just as my friend did from her mum.
She did have good results from CBT a few years ago and was able to manage her condition with only one medication.
I hope tomorrow is a much better day for you!
I just came in from washing my SO's truck -- he's at work now. @MoHousdon 's recent posts reminded me (not that I forget!) that I have a totally awesome fella who does nice things for me all the time, so I should be doing more nice things for him.
If I was upset that something I wanted was out of stock, he'd hunt it down online too. And he's willing to indulge all my silly American "junk food" urges, even if it means driving from store to store in search of something elusive.
His iPad is logged in to my Amazon account because he was wishlisting parts for me to order for one of my vehicles. He also puts things on there that he needs that I can tack onto an order if I need to beef up the amount to qualify for free shipping. About a month ago, while he was at work, he asked me to get a few of the things on on the wish list so I logged on to place the order... and he'd stacked the top of the list with all kind of silly merchandise featuring the phrase "I love you more". Awwww.
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