Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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lilaclovebird wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »Coastalpath wrote: »WestCoastJo82 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »At one of our local grocery stores they have a cow on the front of the milk display and the cow moos at you every time you walk by it. I hate that cow. I turned around the other day and said to it.
" I know right!! But I am working on it so back off!!
There were 2 elderly ladies standing they and I am sure they were ready to call someone to take me away!
Ha! That's awesome
@riderfangal I've been reading your username as riderangle since the beginning of the thread...until I've been replying to you
LOL the riders are my favourite football team. I am actually somewhat obsessed lol. Truth be told I wanted to name my son Ryder but my ex was having no part of that
I probably missed it in previous pages, but @riderfangal you had a date on Saturday, right? How did it go?
He was very nice but no spark. On the surface we should have meshed completely but nothing. I was thinking maybe its just me in my heart I am not sure I am ready or wiling to enter into any relationship. Still it was nice to enjoy some adult conversation.
It happens. But at least you got a nice evening out!
I dated a guy that, "on paper", should've been a perfect match for me, but there was no spark with him either. I've also wondered if it's me not being willing to be in a relationship, but I want a spark, darn it!
(psssst... I'm post-stalking you
)
In my experience, do not settle for anything less than "the spark". That's what will carry you through the rough patches, and keep you working out stuff when you'd really much rather throttle him.
I stayed in a relationship for much too long because he was the "good on paper" guy who should have been my match made in heaven. Nah. Now I'm with the guy who would seem to be the "least likely prospect" (until you realize we are actually two peas in a pod, beneath the demographics) and we've got all the spark.Ohh yes I definitely am a spark fanatic I love thinking about the person and getting butterflies!
Exactly! I've had "the spark" with a couple guys and while they didn't work out, I'm not willing to settle for less than that.
I thought the spark would grow with my ex. It didn't. He was nice. All the issues came out after we married although I was very naive and missed some red flags. He stopped being nice. But I think sparks would have helped. I "never" liked to be touched while sleeping, not even breathed on by my ex, I just thought I liked my space while actually sleeping. Turns out that is not the case, SO can wrap his arms and legs all around me and I sleep just fine. He can breathe on me, he can snore, he can pull me closer in his sleep. I adore sleeping wrapped up in him. Spark does matter to me! Whenever I see SO he greets me with a KISS and a tight hug, every time. Spark matters. SO travels about 1/2 the time and we do not live together. He calls virtually every night he is away (very few exceptions and he lets me know in advance that due to time zone difference etc. he will be asleep by the time I have time to talk.) In the 1.5 years of dating I think there are less than five nights that he has not called me.
The spark matters. Sometimes it DOES grow and it happened out of the blue with my current Sergeant Sexy Pants.
We see each other outside of work and ALWAYS greet with a kiss and a hug. Holding hands in the car. *sigh* I miss him, he's out of town now for work stuff.
But he comes back tomorrow!
Bad dating story: Met this guy, Brandon, on Plenty of Fish. We decided to meet at the lake for some fishing, I enjoy fishing, and I had a couple of the beers he brought. Well, he had MORE than a couple, got drunk and after some conversation decided he was in love with me and wanted to go to San Antonio and get married. I said no, he then wanted to go to San Antonio to go "do some 'shrooms." Yeah, HELL NO! Then he tried to feel me up and kiss me, drunk off his *kitten*, in BROAD DAYLIGHT, and when I pushed him away he sat there dejected for a while and said he 'didn't feel comfortable' around me anymore.
DUDE! IMAGINE HOW I FEEL?!
Cut to the entire rest of the week where he is texting me and calling me and leaving me messages about how he is SO sorry and wants to make it up to me and to come over to his place and we can talk it out and cuddle and watch a movie. No.
My response: You made your first impression and while the date started out well, I will have you arrested for harassment if you ever contact me again.
So, he had his DAD call me to tell me he voluntarily had himself put in a mental hospital because he was so devastated that I broke his heart.
I am glad I missed that train into Crazy Town.
ETA: Fixed quotes.
Dad sounds like he's a wee bit crazy too. I wonder if Brandon actually checked in to a mental hospital or just wanted to try to manipulate you. Either way you are certainly better off with your SGT SP
I so AM!
Not sure if I told this thread the story but the nightshift thread definitely heard about it.
In the middle of last week I mentioned to him that I was craving Funyuns but I couldn't eat them because if I bought a big bag I would eat the whole thing in one sitting. Well, he came into to pick up the paperwork on Saturday night while I was out doing my rounds. I come back to a small 100 calorie serving size bag of Funyuns on my keyboard. I cried stupid happy tears because it was such a sweet thing for him to do AND he considered my calorie intake. He still thinks he's an *kitten*. Poor guy doesn't know how sweet he is.
Oh and how I did on my goals:
- At least 30 minutes of exercise COMPLETE
- Stay withing 100 calories of my calorie goal before exercise COMPLETE
- Drink 5 oz of red wine sadly, I did not
- Do some food prep Totally went grocery shopping and went to town in the kitchen for 3 hours!
Now for Today:
- At least 45 Minutes of exercise
- Stay within 100 calories of my goal before exercise
- Actually buy a bottle of red wine and drink 5 oz of it :laugh:
- Get 10,000+ steps in by midnight
ETA: spelling0 -
Ugh, it is 4am and I keep waking up
@lilaclovebird whew, good thing you didn't get sucked into that craziness! I love the term SGT SP, it made me laugh!
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orangesmartie wrote: »Don't judge, but I have a cleaning lady every week, she cleans my house before I get home for the weekend. I justify it by saying I don't have to spend precious Charlie time cleaning, and it's do nice to walk into a clean smelling home in the middle of the night every week. Beds made. Also I have never met the magical woman who looks after my house ( she also cleans for my mum). Also, o work pretty hard and have a full load of responsibilities, so I don't feel guilty.
I also have a man who walks my dog. But that's because he had to move in with my parents when I went to work in London and it wasn't fair to expect them to do it.
I don't judge, I think it's a great idea. As women (especially) we are expected to do it all - work full time, raise children, look after the home. We can't do it all. We are not failures but it's impossible. Having help with cleaning if you can afford it is a great idea. When we buy our house (which from my previous post sounded ungrateful that I was granted a mortgage, I am sad though as we have to move from our little island) I will invest in a cleaner. I cannot (as I've made evident in my previous posts!) cope with it all, and little help like that makes a big difference. Some people can do it, and I think they are super human!
I also put my dog in day care 3 days a week, a friend comes in at lunchtime on the fourth day and my husband finishes work at lunchtime on Fridays. I feel no guilt as it gives my dog the fun of other humans and dogs Monday to Wednesday, he's exhausted Thursday and Friday and then he's all ours on the weekend. It's expensive but worth it.
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Wow - that IS a lot of stressors all happening at one time! Last year for me was very similar: our townhouse flooded and my husband and I lived in a hotel for 6 months while it was repaired. We had JUST bought the house and moved in 13 days before the flooding occurred. At the same time, I got really sick with some sort of viral lung infection and was sicker than I'd ever been for over a month. Also at the same time, his sister and nephew came to live with us. At the same time, we were going through some massive computer changes at work that were extremely complex and changed the way I do my job every day and how we interact with the customers we serve. Also, I'd been trying to get pregnant for over a year before all this happened and basically we tried all the things we could afford to try. It's unexplained fertility on my end. Sigh. So, yeah, I can definitely empathize!!! I can tell you, that things get better.
All the stress was going on before I decided I really needed to get fit. I gained about 30-40 lbs throughout the stress of last year. Finally, this year in February, I decided that I REALLY wanted to feel healthy/fit by my birthday in August. That's when I started logging on MFP again and exercising regularly. The exercise alone helped me manage my stress SO MUCH more effectively than anything else!
Hugs to you!! It would be so hard to be diligent on MFP with calories and exercise, etc. when dealing with what feels like stress in every single aspect of your life. Be kind to yourself and know that each day is a new day. I hope your husband's surgery goes well and that he feels better soon. That will help immensely!
What a lovely empathic post - I really appreciate it. I am sorry that you had so much going on, as you say, I can empathise! That sounds awful that you home flooded, and so soon after moving in. 6 months is a long time to be moved out too. Is the house better now than before with all the repairs? Getting sick is awful, especially around that time. It sounds very similar to our situation with the fertility issues too. I am really sorry you have been through that. I am glad that things get better - and agree exercise and eating well does really aid the healing. I never thought I was good at anything, and in the last few years I've taken up running, strength training and even learned to swim! All things I now know I deserve. I used to feel really bad about myself, and although I know I'll never be the best swimmer or runner or cyclist I do it and take part and that's the main thing. Exercise has given me so much more confidence, it's just hard with this other stuff it's knocking my confidence somewhat. I am doing a lot less 'grief bacon' than I used to, and the results of the exercise are starting to show. I love being strong.
I am really pleased that you are doing well with these changes to your health - and so pleased the exercise is helping with the stress. Fingers crossed for you with the fertility - it sounds like you are doing everything right so just keep on going
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orangesmartie wrote: »Ladies and gentlemen of the confessions thread, a moment of hush if you will, I have an announcement to make.
<drum roll>
This afternoon, in the car park of a slightly up market grocery store, outside a ubiquitous coffee house chain, @girldownsouth and I met up. In honour of this thread, we did not partake of frothy expensive refreshments, but instead meandered many miles along the river, in idyllic English countryside (beside the motorway).
We (well I did anyway) had a lovely walk in the sunshine, getting to know a new friend. We do intend to do it again.
I thank you for your attention. Here endeth the announcement. Please return to your regularly scheduled confessions.
That's great you've met up irl!0 -
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Italian_Buju wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »
During iftar, we were talking, and he was like... "Did you see that post?"
I replied, "What post?"
He said, "The @SusieQ's husband post!"
I was like, "No, not yet, I'm not caught up. What was it about?"
"Apparently the horse lady is demanding that I need to get you a Fitbit right now."
Hahahahahaaha
I do not think I will ever stop laughing!!
Glad we could make you laugh on a bad day!
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Morning all!!
Today's goals:
10,000 steps
Finish my to do list so I don't have to go in tomorrow.
Pack a salad and eat it - my veggie intake sucks lately0 -
NSV 1- That bag of Utz Crab (potato) Chips has been open for three day and still isn't empty. Even with help from the DOH! and the boy, I haven't eaten it all. Usually, I open the chips and eat until the bag is empty.
NSV 2 - Shoe size is back down to 6 1/2 from a high of 7 1/2. Who knew feet could gain weight?
Nice!!
@nonoelmo excellent nsv as well!!0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Guys, remember that London Dairy new ice cream flavor I mentioned? The Red Velvet Cheesecake one? IT IS TO DIE FOR. Seriously. It's SO good! It has swirls of ooey gooey red velvet caramel-textured stuff, chunks of a dense, chewy red velvet cake, and generously sized chunks of cheesecake. The ice cream itself has a cream cheese-like taste, similar to cream cheese frosting but not as sweet or rich. SO GOOD.
The other two are okay. I'm just sad that the cheesecake one is finished because I shared it with my husband (he didn't like the other two).
This was not nice. I want this now.
Oops. I'm sorry!
I figured that since you get all the good ice cream in the United States, you'd be able to get this one or at least one like it. 
Oh I am sure I can. I just can't. You know?
Makes sense!WestCoastJo82 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Okay, no one really took me up on our daily motivation, but I am going to go ahead and share progress anyway.
Steps: 19, 903 (vs. 25K goal) due to rain and help at barn, as I didn't do quite as much walking as I might normally due as I had help. +
Never got to my run. I had forgotten my shoes so had clothes but no shoes at barn. So had to come home (kiss of death) and try to motivate myself. Well, after eating, and dealing with a washing machine mess (standing water due to clogged filter from washing bathroom mat that disintegrated) it was 10:00. I just couldn't get myself out then. +
No alcohol +
Did not work on dissertation. For the above reasons.
So not great. Today:
Flying to Dallas on a 6:40 flight (hence being up so early) for a meeting. So... this is really going to be a challenge but going to try to:
Walk 10K
Run 1 hour
Work in dissertation (I will use the plane trip to read some articles I have lined up for my literature review)
No alcohol (this will also be challenging as I am going out with some of my team for 'drinks' as I am in Dallas and we don't see each other much.
So...on 3 hours sleep off I go. I'll probably check in at airport, etc. Have a great day all.
Way to go POF! I think you did pretty well on your goals, given what life threw (sp? that looks wrong, but I think it's right) at you. Man, three hours of sleep would have me sleeping on the plane rather than dissertating, but way to be a good grad student
I like this - are we going to do this here or in the Batcave? I'm sure I'll find out as I catch up this morning, but I'll contribute, too.
Yesterday I just *barely* hit my 10K steps. 100+ weather in the northwest, which is crazy hot for us, it should be 75ish. I was supposed to get a good step count in by walking Wilbur, but he was having none of it. Poor delicate 80 pound baby I did a 3 mile run first thing in the morning and then errands/food prep for the rest of the day.
Today, I've already gotten my SL 5X5 in, and walked to work, will walk home and go to the gym for an Insanity class (supposed to be kickboxing, but swapped out for the month). With Wilbur's mini-walks I should hit about 15K steps.
Is it such a bad thing that I'm picturing you walking an enormous, fat, pot-bellied pig whenever you say his name? Because I totally do, thanks to Charlotte's Web--Wilbur will always be a pig name for me.Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »
During iftar, we were talking, and he was like... "Did you see that post?"
I replied, "What post?"
He said, "The @SusieQ's husband post!"
I was like, "No, not yet, I'm not caught up. What was it about?"
"Apparently the horse lady is demanding that I need to get you a Fitbit right now."
BAHAHAHAH Mr. Susie is funny!
Yup, he is. I'm constantly laughing at him, so much so that he calls me his gigglebox.
Random and completely off-topic: With all the housekeeper talk, I wondered if anyone here knows how common it is to have a LIVE-IN maid in the Middle East? Almost every family that's middle income or higher has a housemaid living in their house--it's so popular that houses are built with a "maid's room" in the blueprints! In my family, we grew up having them, but I've always hated it SO MUCH because I really treasure my privacy--she was never allowed to come anywhere near my room or my stuff unless I was supervising, and generally I cleaned and cooked for myself, even when I was living at home. I hate the whole idea of it, and completely banished the idea of a live-in maid as soon as I got married, which my husband thankfully agrees with me about.
Here in Saudi Arabia, since women aren't allowed to drive, almost everyone also has a driver living with them as well--usually in an outdoor room. Driver's rooms are also a very common built-in feature of Saudi Arabian houses.
I'm just curious if this knowledge is commonly-known, or if it's going to surprise everyone.
I did know that a live in housemaid was common, but did not know a driver was. Here is my question.
The driver is obviously male, and it is the female of the house that cannot get herself places. But from what I know, an unrelated male and female could not be alone like that in a closed space, so how does it help to have a driver?
... That is exactly what makes it so stupid. Their "solution" is haram (forbidden), when the problem actually wasn't. While cars didn't exist back in the time of our Messenger (peace be upon him), his wives used their own animals to get where they needed to go, BY THEMSELVES. But now that the "animal" is metal they somehow call it forbidden. O.o It makes no sense, Islamically OR logically.
I think that their problem is that many Saudis (Arabs in general, really) think of the unskilled labor workers as practically sub-human, and many treat them as such. So the driver isn't seen as a man, somehow, which makes me angry. I hate racism--a man is a man, regardless of where he comes from.
This view really hits home when you think of it like this: If a female was caught riding in the car of an unrelated ARAB male, both would be arrested. But if she's stopped with her driver? "Oh, it's just a driver."
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Italian_Buju wrote: »
Isn't red velvet just red dyed chocolate?quiksylver296 wrote: »I feel the need to confess: I don't like red velvet anything. I don't understand the hype. It tastes chemically to me.
Yes, pretty much, but made with buttermilk, which does lend some interesting flavor to the cake. I don't like it that much because I find it too sweet with very little depth of flavor. But I've baked them--they don't have artificial flavoring, just enough red dye to stain your insides for a month. They can be made without the dye, but they'd probably be a very light brown/tan color that way. Brown velvet, anyone? 0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »Ugh, it is 4am and I keep waking up
@lilaclovebird whew, good thing you didn't get sucked into that craziness! I love the term SGT SP, it made me laugh!
@nonoelmo CONGRATS on the NSV.(Don't know why I didn't see it earlier) That is a great achievement! :drinker:
@Italian_Buju He's a police sergeant, hence the hilarious nickname. He's made no comment one way or the other as to whether or not HE likes it, but I do, so it stays! 0 -
raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »
Isn't red velvet just red dyed chocolate?quiksylver296 wrote: »I feel the need to confess: I don't like red velvet anything. I don't understand the hype. It tastes chemically to me.
Pretty much. If it's done right, it's delicious, but lately all the big food folks have been trying to "drink the kool-aid" and turning out some nasty epic red velvet fails. Red velvet is my absolute favorite CAKE (IMHO the only thing that should even be called red velvet is the cake!), and I don't much care for anything else flavored as such. I tried the Oreos, but they weren't that impressive.
I just realized I get a little too passionate about this.....
The Impulsive Buy said the Keebler Red Velvet Cookies are pretty good.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »Don't judge, but I have a cleaning lady every week, she cleans my house before I get home for the weekend. I justify it by saying I don't have to spend precious Charlie time cleaning, and it's do nice to walk into a clean smelling home in the middle of the night every week. Beds made. Also I have never met the magical woman who looks after my house ( she also cleans for my mum). Also, o work pretty hard and have a full load of responsibilities, so I don't feel guilty.
I also have a man who walks my dog. But that's because he had to move in with my parents when I went to work in London and it wasn't fair to expect them to do it.
Susie, I did have an assumption that all Saudi homes had a maid and a driver. I got this from the Jean sassoon/princess sultana series of books. Have you read them?
I have, but I'm not a fan. As an expose of the corruption of the Saudi royalty, the author did a great job; but Islam was displayed in a terrible light, and it wasn't mentioned or highlighted that the corrupt "Shariah" that the royals enforce is NOT the true Islam, so the books honestly just make people hate Muslims even more.
For others... As a whole, Saudi women aren't nearly as oppressed as the media portrays them. The driving issue is real, but otherwise they're pretty normal as a whole, just like any other woman. Don't believe everything you read.
Well unless you are doing a really good job of fooling us you are not oppressed at all.
Not in the least, promise! The biggest downside to the way women's laws are dealt with is that you are VERY dependent on your husband; if you have an abusive husband, then your life is probably going to be terrible. In Islam, a woman has the right to obtain a divorce from a judge if her marriage is bad--but here in Saudi, they rarely grant that right, and men are given more credibility than women.
Luckily, I have a wonderful husband, so nope, no oppression here. Pretty much the opposite--I'm spoiled like a princess. And if you met many women here, you'd find that many Saudi women are actually strong women, not the run-down, horribly oppressed women that the media portrays, although I'm sure there ARE many who live in that situation due to the government's lack of care. 0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Guys, remember that London Dairy new ice cream flavor I mentioned? The Red Velvet Cheesecake one? IT IS TO DIE FOR. Seriously. It's SO good! It has swirls of ooey gooey red velvet caramel-textured stuff, chunks of a dense, chewy red velvet cake, and generously sized chunks of cheesecake. The ice cream itself has a cream cheese-like taste, similar to cream cheese frosting but not as sweet or rich. SO GOOD.
The other two are okay. I'm just sad that the cheesecake one is finished because I shared it with my husband (he didn't like the other two).
This was not nice. I want this now.
Oops. I'm sorry! I figured that since you get all the good ice cream in the United States, you'd be able to get this one or at least one like it.
Oh I am sure I can. I just can't. You know?
Makes sense!WestCoastJo82 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Okay, no one really took me up on our daily motivation, but I am going to go ahead and share progress anyway.
Steps: 19, 903 (vs. 25K goal) due to rain and help at barn, as I didn't do quite as much walking as I might normally due as I had help. +
Never got to my run. I had forgotten my shoes so had clothes but no shoes at barn. So had to come home (kiss of death) and try to motivate myself. Well, after eating, and dealing with a washing machine mess (standing water due to clogged filter from washing bathroom mat that disintegrated) it was 10:00. I just couldn't get myself out then. +
No alcohol +
Did not work on dissertation. For the above reasons.
So not great. Today:
Flying to Dallas on a 6:40 flight (hence being up so early) for a meeting. So... this is really going to be a challenge but going to try to:
Walk 10K
Run 1 hour
Work in dissertation (I will use the plane trip to read some articles I have lined up for my literature review)
No alcohol (this will also be challenging as I am going out with some of my team for 'drinks' as I am in Dallas and we don't see each other much.
So...on 3 hours sleep off I go. I'll probably check in at airport, etc. Have a great day all.
Way to go POF! I think you did pretty well on your goals, given what life threw (sp? that looks wrong, but I think it's right) at you. Man, three hours of sleep would have me sleeping on the plane rather than dissertating, but way to be a good grad student
I like this - are we going to do this here or in the Batcave? I'm sure I'll find out as I catch up this morning, but I'll contribute, too.
Yesterday I just *barely* hit my 10K steps. 100+ weather in the northwest, which is crazy hot for us, it should be 75ish. I was supposed to get a good step count in by walking Wilbur, but he was having none of it. Poor delicate 80 pound baby I did a 3 mile run first thing in the morning and then errands/food prep for the rest of the day.
Today, I've already gotten my SL 5X5 in, and walked to work, will walk home and go to the gym for an Insanity class (supposed to be kickboxing, but swapped out for the month). With Wilbur's mini-walks I should hit about 15K steps.
Is it such a bad thing that I'm picturing you walking an enormous, fat, pot-bellied pig whenever you say his name? Because I totally do, thanks to Charlotte's Web--Wilbur will always be a pig name for me.Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »
During iftar, we were talking, and he was like... "Did you see that post?"
I replied, "What post?"
He said, "The @SusieQ's husband post!"
I was like, "No, not yet, I'm not caught up. What was it about?"
"Apparently the horse lady is demanding that I need to get you a Fitbit right now."
BAHAHAHAH Mr. Susie is funny!
Yup, he is. I'm constantly laughing at him, so much so that he calls me his gigglebox.
Random and completely off-topic: With all the housekeeper talk, I wondered if anyone here knows how common it is to have a LIVE-IN maid in the Middle East? Almost every family that's middle income or higher has a housemaid living in their house--it's so popular that houses are built with a "maid's room" in the blueprints! In my family, we grew up having them, but I've always hated it SO MUCH because I really treasure my privacy--she was never allowed to come anywhere near my room or my stuff unless I was supervising, and generally I cleaned and cooked for myself, even when I was living at home. I hate the whole idea of it, and completely banished the idea of a live-in maid as soon as I got married, which my husband thankfully agrees with me about.
Here in Saudi Arabia, since women aren't allowed to drive, almost everyone also has a driver living with them as well--usually in an outdoor room. Driver's rooms are also a very common built-in feature of Saudi Arabian houses.
I'm just curious if this knowledge is commonly-known, or if it's going to surprise everyone.
I did know that a live in housemaid was common, but did not know a driver was. Here is my question.
The driver is obviously male, and it is the female of the house that cannot get herself places. But from what I know, an unrelated male and female could not be alone like that in a closed space, so how does it help to have a driver?
... That is exactly what makes it so stupid. Their "solution" is haram (forbidden), when the problem actually wasn't. While cars didn't exist back in the time of our Messenger (peace be upon him), his wives used their own animals to get where they needed to go, BY THEMSELVES. But now that the "animal" is metal they somehow call it forbidden. O.o It makes no sense, Islamically OR logically.
I think that their problem is that many Saudis (Arabs in general, really) think of the unskilled labor workers as practically sub-human, and many treat them as such. So the driver isn't seen as a man, somehow, which makes me angry. I hate racism--a man is a man, regardless of where he comes from.
This view really hits home when you think of it like this: If a female was caught riding in the car of an unrelated ARAB male, both would be arrested. But if she's stopped with her driver? "Oh, it's just a driver."
The drivers are now the 'animals'. It's sick and twisted and all around a bad idea in my opinion. Just because he's the 'driver' doesn't make him any less of a human or any less of a man. That 'driver' is just as capable of impure thoughts and actions towards the woman he is carting around as any other 'real man' in their country/culture.
I have to say, I agree with you @Susieq_1994 1000% and the rage is building at this idea so let's make it a little funny!
On the OTHERSIDE, these men in the gov't making the laws might just be trying to keep themselves safe. :laugh: There is an idea that all women are terrible drivers. There are even times when I do dumb things while driving and I exclaim 'UGH! Stupid women drivers!' in my frustration.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »Don't judge, but I have a cleaning lady every week, she cleans my house before I get home for the weekend. I justify it by saying I don't have to spend precious Charlie time cleaning, and it's do nice to walk into a clean smelling home in the middle of the night every week. Beds made. Also I have never met the magical woman who looks after my house ( she also cleans for my mum). Also, o work pretty hard and have a full load of responsibilities, so I don't feel guilty.
I also have a man who walks my dog. But that's because he had to move in with my parents when I went to work in London and it wasn't fair to expect them to do it.
Susie, I did have an assumption that all Saudi homes had a maid and a driver. I got this from the Jean sassoon/princess sultana series of books. Have you read them?
I have, but I'm not a fan. As an expose of the corruption of the Saudi royalty, the author did a great job; but Islam was displayed in a terrible light, and it wasn't mentioned or highlighted that the corrupt "Shariah" that the royals enforce is NOT the true Islam, so the books honestly just make people hate Muslims even more.
For others... As a whole, Saudi women aren't nearly as oppressed as the media portrays them. The driving issue is real, but otherwise they're pretty normal as a whole, just like any other woman. Don't believe everything you read.
Well unless you are doing a really good job of fooling us you are not oppressed at all.
Not in the least, promise! The biggest downside to the way women's laws are dealt with is that you are VERY dependent on your husband; if you have an abusive husband, then your life is probably going to be terrible. In Islam, a woman has the right to obtain a divorce from a judge if her marriage is bad--but here in Saudi, they rarely grant that right, and men are given more credibility than women.
Luckily, I have a wonderful husband, so nope, no oppression here. Pretty much the opposite--I'm spoiled like a princess. And if you met many women here, you'd find that many Saudi women are actually strong women, not the run-down, horribly oppressed women that the media portrays, although I'm sure there ARE many who live in that situation due to the government's lack of care.
Quote from My Big Fat Greek Wedding:
0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »
I don't either. When I had my cake biz I'd make it for tastings, hoping that nobody would order, but they always did. I have a bit of a thing about large amounts of food colour, so that alone would be enough to put me off, but combined with the fact that it's usually an oil recipe rather than butter, and that there's only 1tsp of cocoa, I'm out.quiksylver296 wrote: »I feel the need to confess: I don't like red velvet anything. I don't understand the hype. It tastes chemically to me.
Sorry guys it has NOTHING to do with the cake. It's the cream cheese frosting.
Ha, agreed. I could eat that stuff with a spoon. *drool*... Well, until I made myself sick, two spoonfuls later. That frosting could probably make anything taste good!Italian_Buju wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »
I must add that it also made me laugh that @Susieq_1994 also called her husband Mr. Susie - but I did not see that until after I posted this.....
Well, he doesn't like his real name being put out there, so I call him Mr. Susie whenever I refer to him in public online places. People generally get quite a kick out of it.pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Alright, I'm now reduced to taking notes so I can respond to posts.... @Coastalpath , @raelynnsmama52512 , @FroggyBug and @xLoveLikeWinterx , I'm so sorry you gals are going through such rough patches right now.
In true fix-it style, I wish I had solutions or helpful advice... but all I've got is empathy.
And @susieqhusband, the bad-hair llama lady also requests that you provide your wife with a Fitbit! Heck, look at the money she's already saved you on all that live-in staff that she doesn't want (and, no, I didn't know that was the norm).
Most of the time I really enjoy driving. I wouldn't put up with being told I couldn't drive because of my gender. Good thing I live in North America!
LOL at the live-in staff part.
Preventing women from driving has NO basis in Islam, honestly. The excuse they use is that "women will use the driving to go to places that are forbidden and do forbidden things." Seriously?! Putting a woman in the car with an unrelated male driver IS actually forbidden in Islam, and that's supposed to be a better solution somehow than letting a woman drive her OWN car?
I don't think it's the government's job to "discipline" women as to where they can drive--That's up to their fathers, up to an agreement between their husbands and them about where they can't go (does that even make sense, though? "Wife, please don't go hang out with random men, okay?"). And who's to say that GUYS don't drive to "forbidden places and do forbidden things"? I hate everything about this so-called justification. -_-
Star fact: As a form of protest, a Saudi Arabian lady living in Emirates who holds an international driver's license tried to drive through the border into Saudi Arabia, and was prevented. When she insisted that it was her right to enter her home country, the government magically made her "disappear". When another female friend drove to the border to bring her fresh clothing and a toothbrush and such, she "disappeared" as well. One month later, some news surfaced that they were being tried IN A TERRORISM COURT, and then later on were released and pardoned after THREE MONTHS OF IMPRISONMENT. Yes, seriously.
Ok. I love you Susie. But I could not live here.
Most people couldn't, especially not a woman who has had complete independence for most of her life. I don't mind it at all because my anxiety means that I'm generally unwilling to step out of my front door alone, so it doesn't actually affect me.pofoster21 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »@coastalpath
So I’d have an afternoon tea, catered by my favourite Torquay café, with made to order sandwiches (guests choose from a small list of fillings); bread is home made white or granary. A variety of home made scones, with cherry, or ginger, or white choc chips in. Lots of different fruit jams. And huge bowls of clotted cream. There may also be cinnamon toast. And lots of different cakes, like Victoria sponge, lemon drizzle, chocolate brownie. All served with either tea, coffee (from starbucks) or something sparkling, probably Prosecco or Asti (I’m actually a cherry lambrini kind of girl). Set to a background of string quartet music.
That cafe sounds amazing! If I'm ever up that way I'll have to get the name of the cafe from you, I love afternoon tea so much.AngryViking1970 wrote: »Holy smokes, you guys! I thought this thread slowed down on the weekends. LOL I have work to do!!! I also have an interview this afternoon for a promotion here, so if you could spare any extra mojo, I'd appreciate it!
*slinks off to catch up*
Super good luck with your interview! I hope it went/will go okay? (Unless you've already posted how it went in which case sorry I missed it haha).Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »
During iftar, we were talking, and he was like... "Did you see that post?"
I replied, "What post?"
He said, "The @SusieQ's husband post!"
I was like, "No, not yet, I'm not caught up. What was it about?"
"Apparently the horse lady is demanding that I need to get you a Fitbit right now."
Haha this made me laugh. If you're still lurking, hi @Susieqshusband! .kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »@coastalpath I’m really sorry you are struggling. If you can, try and carve a few minutes out of each day to look after yourself, whether its some deep breathing/meditation, exercise, a solitary cup of coffee. It is also important that you acknowledge your stress and feelings, don’t squash them away because others think you should. Everything you think and feel is valid to you.
I’m going to check out the fitbit thread in a moment. I’m having a bit of a sucky morning at work.
Totally randomly, as I drove back from Devon last night, I planned what I might have for my wedding reception. Partly inspired by this thread and partly by a comedienne that was on radio 4 (don’t judge) yesterday. Bear in mind my relationship structure means I will never get married, but still, I planned it…
So I’d have an afternoon tea, catered by my favourite Torquay café, with made to order sandwiches (guests choose from a small list of fillings); bread is home made white or granary. A variety of home made scones, with cherry, or ginger, or white choc chips in. Lots of different fruit jams. And huge bowls of clotted cream. There may also be cinnamon toast. And lots of different cakes, like Victoria sponge, lemon drizzle, chocolate brownie. All served with either tea, coffee (from starbucks) or something sparkling, probably Prosecco or Asti (I’m actually a cherry lambrini kind of girl). Set to a background of string quartet music.
And for evening meal I’d have a Chinese buffet, in the style of the Mongolian barbecue restaurant chain (do they have those in the states?) basically, you take your bowl, choose your meat/veg/noodles/cooking sauce, and they cook it on a flat top stove while you wait.
It will be held in a marquee, on the cliff tops, near where I live (in Devon).
I spent nearly 200 miles planning this. I have no idea what I’d be wearing, nor what the ceremony would be like.
You and I should get married. I plan the ceremony and the dress. You plan the food.
Although I want mine on the beach in East Hampton where my mom lives and to rent a house and just throw a big party as I have mentioned before. So we might need to be like Becky Bloomwood (confessions of a shopaholic for those who don't get the reference ) and have 2 weddings.
You guys could have a french fry, ice cream, Pop-Tart, Cheesecake, & cupcake bar. The cupcake bar could be where you you can pick whichever icing, cake flavor, & decorations you want.
Oh my Gosh! Perfect. Susie has to do the cake tho. No exceptions.
I'm good at baking DELICIOUS cake, but my decorating prowess could scare away the bravest of people. If you want a really yummy cake, call me. If you want a PRETTY cake (and also yummy, I'm sure!), you might want to call Tubbs. 0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Ok so it's 2 am and of course I am awake due to messed up travel schedule. Ok....
Yesterday
I studied on plane (win)
Only 6274 steps (loss)
No running (loss)
No alcohol (win).
Today:
Study on plane home
10k steps
Run 1 hour
No alcohol
Yay, 2 out of 4 is awesome! I'm actually having trouble REMEMBERING what daily goals I made, but I'll try:
- A minimum of 30 minutes of exercise (60 minutes done!)
- Housework (Almost fully done! Big win there...)
- Stay within my calories (HUGE yes--I had 600 left at 2.45 A.M. the next day, which I used for ice cream)
- Drink at least 2 liters--8 cups--of water (Fail. I got around 5 cups or 1.25 liters)
- Climb the apartment building stairs from the bottom floor to the fourth at least once (Fail. Big chicken. Cluck cluck cluck...)
- Write motivational sticky notes (Fail. No excuse but laziness.)
I think I remembered them all. Today's goals:
- 30-60 minutes of exercise
- Meet my calorie goal
- DRINK THE STUPID WATER ALREADY.
- Steal my husband's sticky notes and write motivational things on them.
- Finish up the housework and laundry (looking at you, big pile of ironing!)
- Do the stair thing! I can do it!0 -
@Susieq_1994 why don't you start with one flight and see how your anxiety is? Set one flight for your goal today and add another tomorrow if it wasn't so bad?
A smaller goal that's easier to do and build on may make it more attainable.
Then you could walk down one floor, act like you forgot something and walk back up.0 -
lilaclovebird wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Guys, remember that London Dairy new ice cream flavor I mentioned? The Red Velvet Cheesecake one? IT IS TO DIE FOR. Seriously. It's SO good! It has swirls of ooey gooey red velvet caramel-textured stuff, chunks of a dense, chewy red velvet cake, and generously sized chunks of cheesecake. The ice cream itself has a cream cheese-like taste, similar to cream cheese frosting but not as sweet or rich. SO GOOD.
The other two are okay. I'm just sad that the cheesecake one is finished because I shared it with my husband (he didn't like the other two).
This was not nice. I want this now.
Oops. I'm sorry! I figured that since you get all the good ice cream in the United States, you'd be able to get this one or at least one like it.
Oh I am sure I can. I just can't. You know?
Makes sense!WestCoastJo82 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Okay, no one really took me up on our daily motivation, but I am going to go ahead and share progress anyway.
Steps: 19, 903 (vs. 25K goal) due to rain and help at barn, as I didn't do quite as much walking as I might normally due as I had help. +
Never got to my run. I had forgotten my shoes so had clothes but no shoes at barn. So had to come home (kiss of death) and try to motivate myself. Well, after eating, and dealing with a washing machine mess (standing water due to clogged filter from washing bathroom mat that disintegrated) it was 10:00. I just couldn't get myself out then. +
No alcohol +
Did not work on dissertation. For the above reasons.
So not great. Today:
Flying to Dallas on a 6:40 flight (hence being up so early) for a meeting. So... this is really going to be a challenge but going to try to:
Walk 10K
Run 1 hour
Work in dissertation (I will use the plane trip to read some articles I have lined up for my literature review)
No alcohol (this will also be challenging as I am going out with some of my team for 'drinks' as I am in Dallas and we don't see each other much.
So...on 3 hours sleep off I go. I'll probably check in at airport, etc. Have a great day all.
Way to go POF! I think you did pretty well on your goals, given what life threw (sp? that looks wrong, but I think it's right) at you. Man, three hours of sleep would have me sleeping on the plane rather than dissertating, but way to be a good grad student
I like this - are we going to do this here or in the Batcave? I'm sure I'll find out as I catch up this morning, but I'll contribute, too.
Yesterday I just *barely* hit my 10K steps. 100+ weather in the northwest, which is crazy hot for us, it should be 75ish. I was supposed to get a good step count in by walking Wilbur, but he was having none of it. Poor delicate 80 pound baby I did a 3 mile run first thing in the morning and then errands/food prep for the rest of the day.
Today, I've already gotten my SL 5X5 in, and walked to work, will walk home and go to the gym for an Insanity class (supposed to be kickboxing, but swapped out for the month). With Wilbur's mini-walks I should hit about 15K steps.
Is it such a bad thing that I'm picturing you walking an enormous, fat, pot-bellied pig whenever you say his name? Because I totally do, thanks to Charlotte's Web--Wilbur will always be a pig name for me.Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »
During iftar, we were talking, and he was like... "Did you see that post?"
I replied, "What post?"
He said, "The @SusieQ's husband post!"
I was like, "No, not yet, I'm not caught up. What was it about?"
"Apparently the horse lady is demanding that I need to get you a Fitbit right now."
BAHAHAHAH Mr. Susie is funny!
Yup, he is. I'm constantly laughing at him, so much so that he calls me his gigglebox.
Random and completely off-topic: With all the housekeeper talk, I wondered if anyone here knows how common it is to have a LIVE-IN maid in the Middle East? Almost every family that's middle income or higher has a housemaid living in their house--it's so popular that houses are built with a "maid's room" in the blueprints! In my family, we grew up having them, but I've always hated it SO MUCH because I really treasure my privacy--she was never allowed to come anywhere near my room or my stuff unless I was supervising, and generally I cleaned and cooked for myself, even when I was living at home. I hate the whole idea of it, and completely banished the idea of a live-in maid as soon as I got married, which my husband thankfully agrees with me about.
Here in Saudi Arabia, since women aren't allowed to drive, almost everyone also has a driver living with them as well--usually in an outdoor room. Driver's rooms are also a very common built-in feature of Saudi Arabian houses.
I'm just curious if this knowledge is commonly-known, or if it's going to surprise everyone.
I did know that a live in housemaid was common, but did not know a driver was. Here is my question.
The driver is obviously male, and it is the female of the house that cannot get herself places. But from what I know, an unrelated male and female could not be alone like that in a closed space, so how does it help to have a driver?
... That is exactly what makes it so stupid. Their "solution" is haram (forbidden), when the problem actually wasn't. While cars didn't exist back in the time of our Messenger (peace be upon him), his wives used their own animals to get where they needed to go, BY THEMSELVES. But now that the "animal" is metal they somehow call it forbidden. O.o It makes no sense, Islamically OR logically.
I think that their problem is that many Saudis (Arabs in general, really) think of the unskilled labor workers as practically sub-human, and many treat them as such. So the driver isn't seen as a man, somehow, which makes me angry. I hate racism--a man is a man, regardless of where he comes from.
This view really hits home when you think of it like this: If a female was caught riding in the car of an unrelated ARAB male, both would be arrested. But if she's stopped with her driver? "Oh, it's just a driver."
The drivers are now the 'animals'. It's sick and twisted and all around a bad idea in my opinion. Just because he's the 'driver' doesn't make him any less of a human or any less of a man. That 'driver' is just as capable of impure thoughts and actions towards the woman he is carting around as any other 'real man' in their country/culture.
I have to say, I agree with you @Susieq_1994 1000% and the rage is building at this idea so let's make it a little funny!
On the OTHERSIDE, these men in the gov't making the laws might just be trying to keep themselves safe. :laugh: There is an idea that all women are terrible drivers. There are even times when I do dumb things while driving and I exclaim 'UGH! Stupid women drivers!' in my frustration.
Sigh. Agreed. I hate the whole idea of it.
lol! That must be it. Although with the scary terrible driving here, I don't think the women could make it any worse if they tried!! Has anyone seen the recent video taken of a Saudi man driving 140 kmph (Around 200-ish mph?) while steering WITH HIS LEGS and using his mobile phone? That pretty much describes the driving here perfectly... 0
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