My spouse is sabotaging my diet!
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this has been the funniest thread ever
I don't really want to look like Conan himself, but a nicely muscled female version that can rock a furry outfit and sword is my aim for my "I'm not quite 40 yet" fancy dress birthday party!
But... ever since I saw Conan for the first time back when I was about 8 years old I have wished I could live in Cimmeria and be Conan-ish. I mean - how cool would life be if all you did was ride around on a horse wearing furs and wielding swords and having adventures?
Sooooooooooooo much better than reality.
"Fiction gives us a second chance that life denies us"0 -
rmitchell239 wrote: »Firefly0606 wrote: »rmitchell239 wrote: »Firefly0606 wrote: »Have you contacted the Beastie Boys? I think they have expertise in this area.
LOL!!
"Kick It!
Wifey hates your diet and she said "NO WAY!"
That hypocrite bakes 2 batches a day
Man living at home is such a drag
Now your wife made you run 5 miles for a steak and some snags..."
You gotta fight! For your right!!
You are awesome! Whats a snag? I shall continue:
You wake up late for the gym.and you dont wanna go!!
You think to yourself please, but you just got to row.
You miss zumba class where you could've learned to twerk.
Now you have to eat the wifes brownies or she'll think you're a jerk!
You gotta fight for your right to not be a larrrrddy.
This is just the best. the best bit of this song will now be singing "Larrrrrrdy" at the end as the song fades.
Can someone call Weird Al?
On an Australian bbq, a snag is a sausage. I tried to come up with something that rhymed with the ribs you had to eat, but to no avail.
Haha. Saddly I enjoyed this immensely....I dont know about weird al but someone should call.my wife and tell her I need a date.
Glad it made your day. It's nearly ready to record, I will be happy that the parody is complete once we get a this line in there: 'I'll kick you out of my house if your butt shrinks too much!" Have a good one - and go on that date!0 -
Absolutely loved this thread!0
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Tell me about it! The BF is trying but says things like, do you need to weigh that?! Errrr yeah how else do I know how much it weighs! Lol and will weigh and write down what everything is in the odd meal, then just splashed around veg oil like its water?! ' oh it's like a tablespoon' doesn't cut it! (And it's more like 4!) Don't even get me started on sauces!0
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daniellepstewart209 wrote: »Tell me about it! The BF is trying but says things like, do you need to weigh that?! Errrr yeah how else do I know how much it weighs! Lol and will weigh and write down what everything is in the odd meal, then just splashed around veg oil like its water?! ' oh it's like a tablespoon' doesn't cut it! (And it's more like 4!) Don't even get me started on sauces!
You are highly.motivated to get it right!! Good job. I just usually overestimate food calories that I dont know likely to the detriment to my.next meal
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Firefly0606 wrote: »rmitchell239 wrote: »Firefly0606 wrote: »rmitchell239 wrote: »Firefly0606 wrote: »Have you contacted the Beastie Boys? I think they have expertise in this area.
LOL!!
"Kick It!
Wifey hates your diet and she said "NO WAY!"
That hypocrite bakes 2 batches a day
Man living at home is such a drag
Now your wife made you run 5 miles for a steak and some snags..."
You gotta fight! For your right!!
You are awesome! Whats a snag? I shall continue:
You wake up late for the gym.and you dont wanna go!!
You think to yourself please, but you just got to row.
You miss zumba class where you could've learned to twerk.
Now you have to eat the wifes brownies or she'll think you're a jerk!
You gotta fight for your right to not be a larrrrddy.
This is just the best. the best bit of this song will now be singing "Larrrrrrdy" at the end as the song fades.
Can someone call Weird Al?
On an Australian bbq, a snag is a sausage. I tried to come up with something that rhymed with the ribs you had to eat, but to no avail.
Haha. Saddly I enjoyed this immensely....I dont know about weird al but someone should call.my wife and tell her I need a date.
Glad it made your day. It's nearly ready to record, I will be happy that the parody is complete once we get a this line in there: 'I'll kick you out of my house if your butt shrinks too much!" Have a good one - and go on that date!
It was fun. Im going to add you.0 -
camilacreme wrote: »this has been the funniest thread ever
I don't really want to look like Conan himself, but a nicely muscled female version that can rock a furry outfit and sword is my aim for my "I'm not quite 40 yet" fancy dress birthday party!
But... ever since I saw Conan for the first time back when I was about 8 years old I have wished I could live in Cimmeria and be Conan-ish. I mean - how cool would life be if all you did was ride around on a horse wearing furs and wielding swords and having adventures?
Sooooooooooooo much better than reality.
"Fiction gives us a second chance that life denies us"
Uhhh Conan is quite ugly I think. It would be more so in a woman. He has a nice body though. When my kids were little they made me check out Conan book and read them stories. I love me some sci fi and fantasy. Strangely I always wanted to be the oriental kid that knew karate. Maybe you should get a job at medieval times? Im sure you look great rocking a dress. Lots of men like your fit tone look!0 -
whatatime2befit wrote: »Absolutely loved this thread!
Thanks thats a nice compliment. I had great funny people respond!0 -
It took me a lot to realize that my bf and I CAN eat different dinners. It's the only way I will lose weight. He eats pizza and chinese food like its his job. I can't do that every day and stay within my calorie goals.
Last night, he made a pizza and I had 1 slice. Just one. And I made sure to weigh it.
Tonight, I made my own dinner of veggies and fish. He ordered Chinese food.
No reason for him to change his eating habits as he is thin and fit. I'm the one that needs to change MY ways, so I'm going to take personal responsibility!0 -
lesliezimmer wrote: »It took me a lot to realize that my bf and I CAN eat different dinners. It's the only way I will lose weight. He eats pizza and chinese food like its his job. I can't do that every day and stay within my calorie goals.
Last night, he made a pizza and I had 1 slice. Just one. And I made sure to weigh it.
Tonight, I made my own dinner of veggies and fish. He ordered Chinese food.
No reason for him to change his eating habits as he is thin and fit. I'm the one that needs to change MY ways, so I'm going to take personal responsibility!
Good job!! We get free food at work all the time. I hate when its pizza. Last time I had a single slice too (hard right?). Thats good for me too cuz im the type to eat like 5 slices. Then headed to chik fil a for some chicken for protein. Chik fil a has surprising low calorie (if you do it right)food and thier buffalo sauce is low as well0 -
LeslieB042812 wrote: »Ugh, my husband does this sort of thing.....What's worse, he'll even refuse to eat unless I do too (and the same thing in the same amount). I've tried explaining that a 6' man cannot eat the same as a 5'2" woman (or vice versa), but he refuses to listen. He also moans when he catches me weighing and logging my foods (I have to sneak around). I think he does it because he likes sharing food as much as eating it and also he doesn't want me to lose weight (he's just like your wife--likes me fatter, but losing the boobs is his fear! lol). It's really frustrating, though. I totally feel your pain.
I don't really have a solution (and talking about it really hasn't helped), just that some days I do better than others. And, if I know he's wanting to eat out or cook me something, I plan ahead by minimally eating the rest of the day (like a packet of tuna and some lettuce for lunch). That helps me fit in the "shares". I also try to take over the cooking and dishing of food so that I can sneak in weighing everything and sneak him larger (size appropriate) portions by piling them differently. I get called "controlling" but it's worth it! lol
Sooo...your husband is refusing to eat anything but what you eat in order to attempt to control what/how much you eat...but YOU are controlling?0 -
rmitchell239 wrote: »rmitchell239 wrote: »My wife baked brownies last night. I ate 1/2 of one. I told her she was not supportive of my diet. I even used a little whiny girl voice "you don't understand, I have my mother's thighs! It's so hard." She only laughed..haha but seriously she just texted me a picture of a cheese cake in the oven...
I'm sorry but I couldn't really tell if you were being tongue-in-cheek lol.
I had a similar issue with my hubby flying things like oreos, twix and cookies around making aeroplane sounds and its hard to not open your mouth to take a bite when he makes it so irresistible and irresistibly adorable. Then the gravity of my crime hits and I break down into tears of self-hate and lamentation. I even contemplate flagellation Illuminati-style.
Oh or trying to zen away my craving for things like fudgey mud cake brownies swirled with nutella or peanut butter and pancake stacks laden with chocolate chips and maple syrup and he suggests going to our local Pancake Parlour for a triple stack (I tend to hear triple by-pass). RAWR.
But on a serious note if its really getting to you, its time for a talk. If not, maybe just go along with the ride and text her a picture of food in the 60s and 70s. That's bound to make you drop 3kg almost instantaneously.
Your husband sounds like a funny guy, but id feel really bad if I were him and you cried. What is flagellation illimunati style?
Haha the last part was a bit of a joke - remember the Da Vinci Code where the crazy hooded monk used this whip to punish himself?
I don't do that of course...that would probably be a 'straight to the psyc ward' card.
Yes he is a funny guy but sometimes he can be quite insensitive and oblivious to the feelings of those around him.0 -
rmitchell239 wrote: »rmitchell239 wrote: »My wife baked brownies last night. I ate 1/2 of one. I told her she was not supportive of my diet. I even used a little whiny girl voice "you don't understand, I have my mother's thighs! It's so hard." She only laughed..haha but seriously she just texted me a picture of a cheese cake in the oven...
I'm sorry but I couldn't really tell if you were being tongue-in-cheek lol.
I had a similar issue with my hubby flying things like oreos, twix and cookies around making aeroplane sounds and its hard to not open your mouth to take a bite when he makes it so irresistible and irresistibly adorable. Then the gravity of my crime hits and I break down into tears of self-hate and lamentation. I even contemplate flagellation Illuminati-style.
Oh or trying to zen away my craving for things like fudgey mud cake brownies swirled with nutella or peanut butter and pancake stacks laden with chocolate chips and maple syrup and he suggests going to our local Pancake Parlour for a triple stack (I tend to hear triple by-pass). RAWR.
But on a serious note if its really getting to you, its time for a talk. If not, maybe just go along with the ride and text her a picture of food in the 60s and 70s. That's bound to make you drop 3kg almost instantaneously.
Your husband sounds like a funny guy, but id feel really bad if I were him and you cried. What is flagellation illimunati style?
Haha the last part was a bit of a joke - remember the Da Vinci Code where the crazy hooded monk used this whip to punish himself? I don't do that of course...that would probably be a 'straight to the psyc ward' card.
Yes he is a funny guy but sometimes he can be quite insensitive and oblivious to the feelings of those around him.
Men are never insensitive to their spouses, simply begin each serious conversation with..."I want to have sex...blah blah blah." You will have his complete attention. If not then he can turn his man card in with me. We will put.up a Conan poster written underneath: "Crush those Oreos, see them eaten before you, and hear the lamentation of your butt and thighs!" All while listening to Beastie Boys parodies. Ahhh..good times good times.0 -
rmitchell239 wrote: »rmitchell239 wrote: »rmitchell239 wrote: »My wife baked brownies last night. I ate 1/2 of one. I told her she was not supportive of my diet. I even used a little whiny girl voice "you don't understand, I have my mother's thighs! It's so hard." She only laughed..haha but seriously she just texted me a picture of a cheese cake in the oven...
I'm sorry but I couldn't really tell if you were being tongue-in-cheek lol.
I had a similar issue with my hubby flying things like oreos, twix and cookies around making aeroplane sounds and its hard to not open your mouth to take a bite when he makes it so irresistible and irresistibly adorable. Then the gravity of my crime hits and I break down into tears of self-hate and lamentation. I even contemplate flagellation Illuminati-style.
Oh or trying to zen away my craving for things like fudgey mud cake brownies swirled with nutella or peanut butter and pancake stacks laden with chocolate chips and maple syrup and he suggests going to our local Pancake Parlour for a triple stack (I tend to hear triple by-pass). RAWR.
But on a serious note if its really getting to you, its time for a talk. If not, maybe just go along with the ride and text her a picture of food in the 60s and 70s. That's bound to make you drop 3kg almost instantaneously.
Your husband sounds like a funny guy, but id feel really bad if I were him and you cried. What is flagellation illimunati style?
Haha the last part was a bit of a joke - remember the Da Vinci Code where the crazy hooded monk used this whip to punish himself? I don't do that of course...that would probably be a 'straight to the psyc ward' card.
Yes he is a funny guy but sometimes he can be quite insensitive and oblivious to the feelings of those around him.
Men are never insensitive to their spouses, simply begin each serious conversation with..."I want to have sex...blah blah blah." You will have his complete attention. If not then he can turn his man card in with me. We will put.up a Conan poster written underneath: "Crush those Oreos, see them eaten before you, and hear the lamentation of your butt and thighs!" All while listening to Beastie Boys parodies. Ahhh..good times good times.
LOL good idea, that's a great way to get his attention.
Maybe intersperse each few words with SEX.
"Honey, I want to have sex....and you know the food thing sometimes really bother me when SEX you disregard my efforts to try to lose weight SEX. Ultimately I want to look sexy for you and for me and SEX also be healthy at the same time SEX."0 -
LMAO!! I feel you rmitchell, my wife be like, let's go to Olive Garden and I'm like nah............... well okay. After I log everything in I'm like..........
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madddawg11 wrote: »LMAO!! I feel you rmitchell, my wife be like, let's go to Olive Garden and I'm like nah............... well okay. After I log everything in I'm like..........
+1.
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My husband has always looked at my dinner plate... At a time of watching my weight... And says 'thats not very substantial'. And when I come home and HE has cooked the dinner I see massive portions and don't want to hurt his feelings by saying that it's too much mash potato or too many sausages.
I've been doing so well the last 6 weeks by sticking to a great routine of (OMG) exercise and logging my diary every day. 16Lb lost and hubby noticing the change.
I came home the other day and yes... Dinner was sausage and mash.
2 sausages, cabbage, carrots, broccoli.... And wait for it... A rounded spoonful of onion mash !! All calorie measured and weighed. He looked so chuffed and all I could do was stare at his beautifully gigantic sized portion of mash and wished it was on my plate lol0 -
Lol! Today was my first day of MFP and my husband bought me a whopper value meal from Burger king0
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peaceout_aly wrote: »I am guilty of making tons of baked goods knowing that my boyfriend will singlehandedly finish them off. There's some kind of satisfaction for a woman knowing your man is well fed
This is so true...my boyfriend eats maybe twice a day though, so for him, the extra calories aren't a big deal. I do my best to make him healthy stuff too though!
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Am I the only one who finds it wrong for a spouse or friend to be texting cheesecake photos to someone who is trying to lose weight? Guess so.
At my last job I made the mistake of saying I was trying to lose weight. Next day a co-workdr brought me a gift: a dessert cookbook! WHY? It's not like I starve myself or need to lose a few pounds for vanity. (Not that there is anything wrong wih a little vanity.) I just don't understand people.
This time around the only people who know that I am trying again are my two sons and my sister. People that I couldcsmack over the head if they tried something like that. Just kidding.
And before anyone starts talking about willpower, don't waste your time. I am at a place where I can say no thanks or go over that day's calorie limit without any guilt at all. One slice of cheesecake did not make me 100 pounds over my ideal weight and for sure it is not going to derail my weight loss efforts.
My "problem" is that I just don't understand this kind of behavior.0
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