Adding MFP Friends as a married guy

kshama2001 wrote: »

rushbabe0214 wrote: »

sofaking6 wrote: »

I have a few married male friends on here and whenever I see their feeds it's all girls going "hiiii sweetie" and "u look so good babe" and stuff like that, so if my husband were on here I'd be careful about his friends list as well. I don't know who these chicks are who can't act decent but...they're all over this site.

Since when is posting an innocuous comment such as 'Hi babe' or 'Great job handsome' on a male friend's profile or status not "acting decent". Harmless flirting with someone does not mean I want to jump in bed with them. Most adults understand that.

Ninety percent of my FL is male, most of them are married. They're great guys! I don't see a problem with it and neither does my husband.

Sure, that's harmless flirting, but flirting is not ok in all relationships.

Yeah. My fiancée isn't a big fan of it.

KisforKrista wrote: »

nora_gettingfitnow wrote: »

KisforKrista wrote: »

This may not be a dating site, but it sure doesn't stop some people from using it as such.

You'll always get the ones that can't take it seriously, the downside is there is generally always someone that will respond to their nonsense so it continues but they are easily deleted

My personal favorites are the ones who get mad at you.
Start asking you all kinds of questions like what do you do for work and fun, Etc and then when they get an answer they don't like, insult you and get mad.

Once i had a guy ask me if i was girly and i said not really, im not exactly the type to go and get my nails done or dress up in girly clothing, and he got mad at me for not getting my nails done LOL.. said i was boring and not sexy.

OMG That's happened to me too!

This site is definitely used as a dating/cheating site for A LOT of people. And just trust me on how I know this. I was on here before when I was single and I saw a lot of it. I have seen marriages ruined because of mfp as well. I guess you have to go with your gut. If you wouldn't like your spouse doing it, then don't do it. I got back on here a few months ago and I'm extremely careful not to be so nieve now.

rushbabe0214 wrote: »

sofaking6 wrote: »

I have a few married male friends on here and whenever I see their feeds it's all girls going "hiiii sweetie" and "u look so good babe" and stuff like that, so if my husband were on here I'd be careful about his friends list as well. I don't know who these chicks are who can't act decent but...they're all over this site.

Since when is posting an innocuous comment such as 'Hi babe' or 'Great job handsome' on a male friend's profile or status not "acting decent". Harmless flirting with someone does not mean I want to jump in bed with them. Most adults understand that.

I'd have a problem if I saw a female using this sort of language with my boyfriend. He'd have a problem with a male using this sort of language with me. Why flirt if you're taken or if you know the person you're talking to is taken? There are a lot of words I could use to compliment someone's progress and appearance without making it sound flirty. "Hey, impressive gains," or "great progress!" is the same sort of compliment, but is a lot more appropriate than "u look so good babe."

IMO - I don't see the problem with having people of the opposite sex on your FL. But if your wife is trully bothered by it, her concerns trump any of our opinions.


ETA: Before you make the argument that this is just a harmless website and nobody here is actually going to jump into bed with each other because of a little flirting...

Yeah, my BF and I met on a site not terribly different from MFP.

Sometimes I will look over my bf's shoulder when he is checking his Facebook, but only because his newsfeed is a lot more entertaining than mine. We both have a good mix of male and female friends and it doesn't bother either one of us. He's not on MFP and knows that I have friends on here, but he has never asked me any questions about any of them.

You must be unaware of what goes on here at MFP… [/quote]

I'm unaware...what does go on? Because it hasn't been going on with my group of friends so I am feeling a bit left out of whatever it is LOL...oh just saw the earlier response to what goes on....oh my!

mjtranter65 wrote: »

So....here is the issue:
I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.

Thanks....i hope.

I got 30lbs to lose, i'm completely serious about losing. I'll send a request.

I'm not sure what's happening in this thread, but I'm glad that I took the time to read the entire thing. I think.

What's the "acceptable" minimum for number of male friends anyway?

thesupremeforce wrote: »

I'm not sure what's happening in this thread, but I'm glad that I took the time to read the entire thing. I think.

What's the "acceptable" minimum for number of male friends anyway?

42

The answer is always 42

christinev297 wrote: »

UltimateRBF wrote: »

Here OP you want this section of the forums
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/categories/chit-chat-fun-and-games
*shudder, sanitizes hands*

oh no you didn't!

You just contaminated this thread :laugh:

Hahahahaha exactly! Go wash you hands immediately!

mariannekehl wrote: »

UltimateRBF wrote: »

Here OP you want this section of the forums
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/categories/chit-chat-fun-and-games
*shudder, sanitizes hands*

I always wondered what that was all about - I just though it was folks being silly.

This section of the forums is why you'll see people post who have no idea what they're talking about and yet will still show a "Posts:" number with four digits or so.

asflatasapancake wrote: »

Dicky_Seamus wrote: »

Both of you should work 5x5 Trust Curls into your routine, brah. No rest between sets.


(...and people say gays are destroying the sanctity of marriage....oi....)

Strong first post.

OP, I'm a dude who is serious about staying in shape. Add me if you wish. That way your wife will be less likely to delete your account.

Lol! A brother in arms, stepping up for defence, haha

460mustang wrote: »

tomatoey wrote: »

460mustang wrote: »

This is getting good, maybe someday you'll figure it out.
Actually I had planned to lose weight on MFP by myself, without any friends, but then a few asked me to be friends and I accepted, then I decided to ask a few to become friends, including guys, but I have to say it was harder for me to ask the guys than it was the women. I was more afraid of the guys turning me down than the women, if that makes sense!

I think so. I think men often create friendships by doing stuff together. They kind of fall into it, over time. Asking another man to be a friend - instead of just going to a bar together in a group - might feel like being on the playground and having to ask to join in on a game. Maybe there's an element of peer pressure or anxiety about peer evaluations.

(And I wonder if the MFP bromances start out like that (ie by "doing stuff together"), with men talking in the same threads for a while before one of them sends the request.)

Meanwhile, men are used to asking women for stuff

(There is also the possibility that some men think the views other men have of them are more important than women's views, just because they're coming from men, but I am not going to assume that right now.)

Yes, I need to have similar interests or I don't talk.

I think a lot of men are like that

I appreciate your offering your experience, it's interesting to hear

When I was younger, I may have had a different outlook on the subject. I wasn't so secure then. But I'm 52 and have been with my husband for 25 years. We trust one another. I leave MFP open on my desktop computer All. The. Time. If he wanted to, he could see all my activity including PMs, anytime he wanted. He doesn't check up on me. I don't check up on him. We're good.

asyk80 wrote: »

This may be my first forum post but I get what OP is saying...well to a degree. I don't have many friends (okay I have 1) and was reading through the forums and found someone I wanted to add as a friend (he was offering help on something) but he was good looking and I was self conscious and didn't want anyone to think I was trolling MFP. So I didn't hit the friends request button.

There's a place to put a message when you send a friend request, so you can say something like "Hi, I saw you offering help on the forums and I'd like to take you up on that as I'm having trouble with ______" or "I noticed your post on the forum where you said you're starting C25K and want some friends who are doing it too, and I just started yesterday", etc etc etc. Then you don't have to worry about someone misinterpreting you.