Adding MFP Friends as a married guy

mjtranter65 wrote: »

Wow, I have never posted anything before, and the only hope was to collect MFP friends. The opinions range from toxic date site blah, blah to actual guys that know what I'm saying. To those, thanks. To the others, get back on the treadmill or whatever and relieve some of that pent up tension.
Thanks. I guess this attempt was in the least interesting, and somewhat successful.

Share the postings from your female friends with your wife so she can become more comfortable with you participating. Talk about it more with her. Does she have any reason for not trusting you having more female friends? Talk about that too if it is the case. Props to you for even caring what she thinks as well.

I suggest you state in your profile, you are looking for friends who are into {whatever your goals are.} To limit adding more females, state in your profile you are only accepting invites from guys, out of respect for your wife.

You could also try posting in some of the groups that address your goals. If your interesting in weight lifting try the Eat, Train, Progress group. You will find others with similar goals, viewpoints etc. then simply send a friend request with a message saying, 'We seem to have the same goals, lets be pals."

booksandchocolate12 wrote: »

My husband has no idea who I am "online friends" with. And I have no idea who his online friends are. And we're both OK with that. We've been married 24 years. We don't need to be up each other's *kitten* 24/7.

^^^^This, only hubby and I have been together for 40 years now.

Feel free to add me...Always up for new friends...Mine is getting full, and have been deleting slowly...I have several female friends on mine, many more than dudes...I add them and if they communicate they stay...I dont care what you look like, what sex you are, I just hope for some motivation or a kick in the *kitten* from time to time, as I will do the same.

thesupremeforce wrote: »

I'm not sure what's happening in this thread, but I'm glad that I took the time to read the entire thing. I think.

What's the "acceptable" minimum for number of male friends anyway?

42

The answer is always 42

christinev297 wrote: »

UltimateRBF wrote: »

Here OP you want this section of the forums
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/categories/chit-chat-fun-and-games
*shudder, sanitizes hands*

oh no you didn't!

You just contaminated this thread :laugh:

Hahahahaha exactly! Go wash you hands immediately!

mariannekehl wrote: »

UltimateRBF wrote: »

Here OP you want this section of the forums
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/categories/chit-chat-fun-and-games
*shudder, sanitizes hands*

I always wondered what that was all about - I just though it was folks being silly.

This section of the forums is why you'll see people post who have no idea what they're talking about and yet will still show a "Posts:" number with four digits or so.

asflatasapancake wrote: »

Dicky_Seamus wrote: »

Both of you should work 5x5 Trust Curls into your routine, brah. No rest between sets.


(...and people say gays are destroying the sanctity of marriage....oi....)

Strong first post.

OP, I'm a dude who is serious about staying in shape. Add me if you wish. That way your wife will be less likely to delete your account.

Lol! A brother in arms, stepping up for defence, haha

460mustang wrote: »

tomatoey wrote: »

460mustang wrote: »

This is getting good, maybe someday you'll figure it out.
Actually I had planned to lose weight on MFP by myself, without any friends, but then a few asked me to be friends and I accepted, then I decided to ask a few to become friends, including guys, but I have to say it was harder for me to ask the guys than it was the women. I was more afraid of the guys turning me down than the women, if that makes sense!

I think so. I think men often create friendships by doing stuff together. They kind of fall into it, over time. Asking another man to be a friend - instead of just going to a bar together in a group - might feel like being on the playground and having to ask to join in on a game. Maybe there's an element of peer pressure or anxiety about peer evaluations.

(And I wonder if the MFP bromances start out like that (ie by "doing stuff together"), with men talking in the same threads for a while before one of them sends the request.)

Meanwhile, men are used to asking women for stuff

(There is also the possibility that some men think the views other men have of them are more important than women's views, just because they're coming from men, but I am not going to assume that right now.)

Yes, I need to have similar interests or I don't talk.

I think a lot of men are like that

I appreciate your offering your experience, it's interesting to hear

When I was younger, I may have had a different outlook on the subject. I wasn't so secure then. But I'm 52 and have been with my husband for 25 years. We trust one another. I leave MFP open on my desktop computer All. The. Time. If he wanted to, he could see all my activity including PMs, anytime he wanted. He doesn't check up on me. I don't check up on him. We're good.

asyk80 wrote: »

This may be my first forum post but I get what OP is saying...well to a degree. I don't have many friends (okay I have 1) and was reading through the forums and found someone I wanted to add as a friend (he was offering help on something) but he was good looking and I was self conscious and didn't want anyone to think I was trolling MFP. So I didn't hit the friends request button.

There's a place to put a message when you send a friend request, so you can say something like "Hi, I saw you offering help on the forums and I'd like to take you up on that as I'm having trouble with ______" or "I noticed your post on the forum where you said you're starting C25K and want some friends who are doing it too, and I just started yesterday", etc etc etc. Then you don't have to worry about someone misinterpreting you.