anyone else get super frustrated at friends/co workers?
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MamaBirdBoss wrote: »Firefly0606 wrote: »The trend in my office at the moment is for all the people with "slow metabolisms" to get a gastric bypass done.
I don't want to be one of them.
LOL. And how do they think the gastric bypass fixes their metabolisms????
And the habits that got them that way. I have a couple friends who've had WLS and they went through 6 months of supervised diet and exercise prior t the surgery to relearn how to eat and to develop exercise habits.
I have a coworker who is getting ready for WLS. From what I can see, she hasn't been given any guidance like that. She said she's "tried everything" to lose weight. In the 4 years I've know her, I've seen a diabetic on insulin that eats sweets (pretty much every day), someone who never engages in physical activity, and someone who eats a lot of meals out (high-fat, low nutrient food).
I worry she's putting her body through this surgery and she'll end up gaining most of any loss back. But all I feel I can do is smile and be supportive.0 -
A woman with whom I went to high school--now a facebook friend. She's a fitness trainer and lately she's been going on about juice cleanses and going to a "natural path" (sic) doctor. Yesterday she announced that she isn't going to have her brand new kitten vaccinated because "it just poisons their immune systems". So much no.
That's really on the other extreme of the fizzy drink and doughnut guzzlers types at the office who sneer at you when you're minding your own business trying to be healthy and not judging them.
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In my office I am openly called the "healthy eater" in a kind of snarky way. O WELL.
Hey you could so turn that into like an office brand. Maybe make up some witty quip when you're heading off for lunch - "Cya guys I'm going to nibble on my pro-power chia soy linseed skin graft." Sometimes people just get defensive because they think your new changes is sort of an indictment against theirs...so they sort of psychologically 'preempt' this insecurity to keep you from judging them...if you turn it into a self-depreciating humour they'll realise that you're doing it for you and have nothing against them - doesn't change your relationship with them!
I don't know why I used skin graft. It sounded right then.
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Nope, I just ignore them. I don't give two craps what my co-workers or friends are doing or what they think they know about losing weight. I know what works for me, and I'm focusing on that.0
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I work with a girl who is quite badly overweight, she's made some steps towards getting healthier, she joined a gym we were talking about dieting and stuff the other day and i asked her how she was going and she said "Oh your lucky you lose weight I'm doing alright, but it can be kind of depressing though like i go the gym 5 times a week and work out so hard and i go for an hour walk every night but i just can't seem to lose weight!"
....then i saw what she had for lunch, a XL serve of fish and chips 2 fried dim sims, 2 chocolate bars and all washed down with a 600ml bottle of coke...
I saw it and thought "well, there's your problem..." she's just stuck in that mindset that "I exercise, therefore, I have a free pass to eat whatever I want"
AWW, that's ok, at least she's trying.
Maybe you can sort of give her a hint in the future since she's working so hard, like bring an extra pack of lunch and ask her if she wants to share. Sort of introduce her to healthy eating.
I watched this show about exercise which said that people are actually exercising MORE than previously rather than less, but still getting obese, because people are being told exercise solves the problem. People slip into the tendency of thinking that because they did 300 cal of exercise that extra slice of cake or fizzy drink, or even "healthy" meal is a "reward" for their hard work.
Then they subconsciously just ingest more calories and undo all that hard work.
It's a tough gig, but we all learn along the way.0 -
lindathom209 wrote: »I don't get frustrated. Mainly because I've been in their shoes. Tried all the fad diets and ordered all the workouts from infomercials looking for FAST weight loss. I was the one saying "two pounds a week?! Are you kidding me? That's gonna take me, like, forever!" I work for a staffing agency so when I work somewhere I haven't been in a while I hear a lot of "wow you lost a lot of weight! How the h*** did you do that?" When I say I just eat less than I burn they give me the saddest look. Lol. I just give them a sympathetic smile and say "yeah, it sucks, but it's really the only thing that actually works"
Very good point @lindathom209, we live in a society of fast-paced instant self-gratification! We want everything NOW, FAST, EASY, NO-FUSS - and sadly it's spread to our approach in fitness too.
How many times have we stopped over for convenience food/quick fix foods/junk despite knowing that:
1. Its fattening, because manufacturers don't care about your health, they care about whether it tastes "good" and "hooks" you
2. It has questionable quality - we know we can make a superior quality dish at home, triple the quantity, at a fraction of the price, at a fraction of the calories with no added preservatives and chemical junk. We just either are time-poor (we use this as an excuse but there's nothing good planning can't fix as losing weight and controlling your diet tells us) or lazy.
3. It's filled with chemicals, words and numbers we can't pronounce. Some simple cakes in packets have an ingredient list longer than the Bible!
4. It's not good for us.
I could go on. But think of for example, when people would rather go for liposuction, stomach stapling, etc - all to 'quick fix' the 'problem' which never really gets resolved. This extends to us using quick fixes for everything else in our lives, even to our economies, our Governments, our environment, etc.
The saddest thing is to see super obese people who are so trapped in their cycle of poor eating and negative mentality even after stomach banding they liquify their junk food to get their 'cravings' filled even though they physically can't eat an apple.0 -
Not only my co-workers, but my mum and my husband also harp on at me about how much I eat per day (5 meals - but they are around 300 cals each, so 1500 ish per day). they're all like "how are you going to lose weight if you eat all day long?"
Well... it's working and now I'm getting the co-workers going "OMG your clothes are baggy. You're going to disappear - stop dieting!" (which is totally off the mark too because I am still not at a decent optimum weight (profile pic misleading - my arms and top bit are fine but if you pan down there is still a whole lot of baby-belly spilling over the jeans!)
And I have a bunch of 5:2 people who keep trying to get me to go 5:2. No thank you.
My mum's biggest concern is me getting too muscular. But I'm still a fat cow in her eyes so it will be a while before I go from fat cow to muscular horse?0 -
sometimes it's futile to try and explain to them that all you have to do is watch/weigh what you eat & get active some. it's like they want to keep believing in some magical cure, lol.
and some people boast to me about not eating breakfast/lunch, and eating just dinner but somehow not losing weight as if it matters when you eat your calories. cus if ya overeat, you're gonna gain weight cus calories can't tell time in the day haha. orrr like how my dad is always boasting about not having an appetite and losing weight to me (yet drinks a ton of beer, no real nutrition) and when i try to explain that he needs to eat more actual food to get proper nutrition and that weight loss through other means can be very unhealthy, he just blows it off. his doctor even congratulates him (or so he tells me) on his weight loss. and i try to tell him it's something he should be discussing with a doctor if it's unintentional! alas.
but other times i simply tell people, our bodies are like a glass. and imagine the calories you need like a set amount of liquid you pour into your glass each day. you pour too much, it overflows aka weight gain. you put too little, you empty out or make more room. and if you put just the right amount, you stay just the same.
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squishprincess wrote: »sometimes it's futile to try and explain to them that all you have to do is watch/weigh what you eat & get active some. it's like they want to keep believing in some magical cure, lol.
but other times i simply tell people, our bodies are like a glass. and imagine the calories you need like a set amount of liquid you pour into your glass each day. you pour too much, it overflows aka weight gain. you put too little, you empty out or make more room. and if you put just the right amount, you stay just the same.
Bump for the awesome glass analogy!0 -
A co-worker turned to me today and said "I just learnt the most amazing thing today" obviously i said "oh what?!"
her response....... "If you switch to a gluten free diet you can lose a TONNE of weight! I'm going to try it for sure!!"
I tried to tell her that unless you actually have an intolerance condition switching to a gluten free diet is not going to change anything I said the whole you can eat whatever you want as long as you burn more calories than you take in but *whoosh* straight over her head because as she said "My neighbour stopped eating gluten and she lost like 10kgs in a month! Do they make gluten free wholemeal bread? because im going to buy some of that...and is there gluten free chocolate? Because I want to buy some of that as well!"
I just kind of noded and went back to doing my work...I could see that she was set on her super awesome new miracle diet and whatever i said wasn't going to change her mind...0 -
A co-worker turned to me today and said "I just learnt the most amazing thing today" obviously i said "oh what?!"
her response....... "If you switch to a gluten free diet you can lose a TONNE of weight! I'm going to try it for sure!!"
I tried to tell her that unless you actually have an intolerance condition switching to a gluten free diet is not going to change anything I said the whole you can eat whatever you want as long as you burn more calories than you take in but *whoosh* straight over her head because as she said "My neighbour stopped eating gluten and she lost like 10kgs in a month! Do they make gluten free wholemeal bread? because im going to buy some of that...and is there gluten free chocolate? Because I want to buy some of that as well!"
I just kind of noded and went back to doing my work...I could see that she was set on her super awesome new miracle diet and whatever i said wasn't going to change her mind...
face palm ...
I have a friend on WW. She still doesn't know why she isn't losing weight when she has a ton of left over points (more than half she says) that she isn't eating. I am not sure how many points she has because we had lunch the other day and she had 3 pieces of fried chicken, mash potatoes, mac and cheese, a biscuit and a cookie and said that was all very few points. If I ate that I am sure it would probably have been most of my days calories. She wants to know why I am losing weight and not her. I tried to tell her about MFP but she said she likes WW cause they have a new point system so she gets more points now.
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A co-worker turned to me today and said "I just learnt the most amazing thing today" obviously i said "oh what?!"
her response....... "If you switch to a gluten free diet you can lose a TONNE of weight! I'm going to try it for sure!!"
I tried to tell her that unless you actually have an intolerance condition switching to a gluten free diet is not going to change anything I said the whole you can eat whatever you want as long as you burn more calories than you take in but *whoosh* straight over her head because as she said "My neighbour stopped eating gluten and she lost like 10kgs in a month! Do they make gluten free wholemeal bread? because im going to buy some of that...and is there gluten free chocolate? Because I want to buy some of that as well!"
I just kind of noded and went back to doing my work...I could see that she was set on her super awesome new miracle diet and whatever i said wasn't going to change her mind...
face palm ...
I have a friend on WW. She still doesn't know why she isn't losing weight when she has a ton of left over points (more than half she says) that she isn't eating. I am not sure how many points she has because we had lunch the other day and she had 3 pieces of fried chicken, mash potatoes, mac and cheese, a biscuit and a cookie and said that was all very few points. If I ate that I am sure it would probably have been most of my days calories. She wants to know why I am losing weight and not her. I tried to tell her about MFP but she said she likes WW cause they have a new point system so she gets more points now.
That is curious. I've seen people grossly underestimate what they're eating before (heck, I used to do it myself which is why I'm here), but that's impressive. I wonder if she's counting that fried chicken as grilled or something.0 -
My sister says she must only eat 900 calories a day...she's 5'2, 15 years old so still growing and does at least SIX dance classes a week. She's a level 8 ballerina. 900 calories a day...yeah okay. Then she shouted at me when I said she was wrong. As I speak she's eating like 500g of pasta.
She's in great shape and it's not like I care, it's like...I'm the one counting calories...BELIEVE ME that 900 is an impossibility0 -
A co-worker turned to me today and said "I just learnt the most amazing thing today" obviously i said "oh what?!"
her response....... "If you switch to a gluten free diet you can lose a TONNE of weight! I'm going to try it for sure!!"
I tried to tell her that unless you actually have an intolerance condition switching to a gluten free diet is not going to change anything I said the whole you can eat whatever you want as long as you burn more calories than you take in but *whoosh* straight over her head because as she said "My neighbour stopped eating gluten and she lost like 10kgs in a month! Do they make gluten free wholemeal bread? because im going to buy some of that...and is there gluten free chocolate? Because I want to buy some of that as well!"
I just kind of noded and went back to doing my work...I could see that she was set on her super awesome new miracle diet and whatever i said wasn't going to change her mind...
face palm ...
I have a friend on WW. She still doesn't know why she isn't losing weight when she has a ton of left over points (more than half she says) that she isn't eating. I am not sure how many points she has because we had lunch the other day and she had 3 pieces of fried chicken, mash potatoes, mac and cheese, a biscuit and a cookie and said that was all very few points. If I ate that I am sure it would probably have been most of my days calories. She wants to know why I am losing weight and not her. I tried to tell her about MFP but she said she likes WW cause they have a new point system so she gets more points now.
She's not calculating the points correctly. If you are friends with her, you might want to point that out. Granted, I don't know her size and how many points she gets daily, but when I followed WW, that one meal would have blown my daily points and more besides.
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What DOES bother me is when I say 'no thank you' to the chocolate peanut butter cookies they are offering me at 9:30am.....and they start getting insistent, commenting that I'm thin, I can afford to eat a few cookies......so I politely and briefly explain "I'm watching what I eat, so no thank you"......and they comment "Well geez, what you must think of me, if you're watching your weight!"
I'm dying to say "Your morbid obesity is your issue, not mine....I actually don't think of your body at all. I'm too self-absorbed for that"0 -
This has been a good thread. Helpful for all of us to know we're not alone with the annoying co-workers/family/whoever. lol. Or not-lol. -- I work in a hospital and I am always surprised - even though I shouldn't be, because I've worked in several hospitals over the years -- at the number of very-overweight nurses. Almost never doctors, only the nurses or aides. (I'm not a nurse.) One hospital I worked at was so HUGE that they had a whole walking route set up in the lower level where there were just labs and things like that...They had signs up and mileage and everything. I was doing WW then and I used to try to walk that route a few times a week. People used to say "you're going to walk *again*?" with emphasis on "again". sigh... Well too bad for them. 0
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I had a coworker once with whom I had a version of this conversation, but she was a size 2 and would go on and on about how fat she was. I was a size 16, and I eventually told her she must think I'm a beached whale if she thinks she's fat. She was genuinely taken aback and said she didn't think I was fat at all. I don't know what she really thought, but at least she stopped talking about how fat she was after that.juliebowman4 wrote: »What DOES bother me is when I say 'no thank you' to the chocolate peanut butter cookies they are offering me at 9:30am.....and they start getting insistent, commenting that I'm thin, I can afford to eat a few cookies......so I politely and briefly explain "I'm watching what I eat, so no thank you"......and they comment "Well geez, what you must think of me, if you're watching your weight!"
I'm dying to say "Your morbid obesity is your issue, not mine....I actually don't think of your body at all. I'm too self-absorbed for that"
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I hate it when people say "you don't need to lose weight - you're a mother" Ok - so every single mother in this world has to be chubby/fat/obese????? Just because you have a kid it gives you permission to be unhealthy? You'd THINK it would be a goof thing for mothers to be healthy so that they can keep up with their kids and set a good example?
/rant.
(I've had that a few times at work)0 -
juliebowman4 wrote: »I'm dying to say "Your morbid obesity is your issue, not mine...
Awesome response. I'm going to remember that. 0 -
I dislike when the people I work with ask what diet I'm 'doing', the eat less diet?0
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juliebowman4 wrote: »I'm dying to say "Your morbid obesity is your issue, not mine...
Awesome response. I'm going to remember that.juliebowman4 wrote: »I'm dying to say "Your morbid obesity is your issue, not mine...
Awesome response. I'm going to remember that.
Me too. I'm almost sorry I'm on vacation and have to wait. Okay, I'm not, but I will keep it in mind.
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linsey0689 wrote: »It's hard for me to. When people notice I have lost weight and ask me how I do it. I tell them I watched what I ate though mfp and exercise. Then they say that just doesn't work for me I have tried it so many time. I just smile and said okay sometimes. It's not worth the fight.
Yep
My good friend is in the health and wellness field, a PT and a group fitness instructor. She's not overweight and looks good IMO, but she's NEVER been happy with her body...she hasn't eaten pizza since she was 10,only does clean eating , doesn' t have salt or bread in the house, etc.. I know this is borderline disordered, but when she asks what I do and tell her, it's almost like she doesn't believe it and that she needs to be on a specific diet to lose weight (clearly not working for her). I just tell her I'm sorry she's feeling like that and am done offering advice..b/c she doesn't seem to want to believe it.. although she says she can tell i have lost weight and wants to know how I did it... 0 -
linsey0689 wrote: »It's hard for me to. When people notice I have lost weight and ask me how I do it. I tell them I watched what I ate though mfp and exercise. Then they say that just doesn't work for me I have tried it so many time. I just smile and said okay sometimes. It's not worth the fight.
Yep My good friend is in the health and wellness field, a PT and a group fitness instructor. She's not overweight and looks good IMO, but she's NEVER been happy with her body...she hasn't eaten pizza since she was 10,only does clean eating , doesn' t have salt or bread in the house, etc.. I know this is borderline disordered, but when she asks what I do and tell her, it's almost like she doesn't believe it and that she needs to be on a specific diet to lose weight (clearly not working for her). I just tell her I'm sorry she's feeling like that and am done offering advice..b/c she doesn't seem to want to believe it.. although she says she can tell i have lost weight and wants to know how I did it...
No offense to your friend (as I'm sure she means well), but this is why I won't hire a PT without them being a licensed dietician, having some sort of sports medicine degree, and allowing me to interview them beforehand. The last two trainers I had were amazing. They both offered similar advice and had evidence to back it up. My current trainer (who is free through work, thankfully) loves pizza, carbs, and ice cream. But she's been helping me relearn how to eat such things properly again.0 -
A lot of the ladies I work with are on a diet - slimming world, herbal life, something similar. I don't know how they get through a work day were they can burn 2500+ calories by eating so little.
I gave trying to educate them ages ago. Some even use this app, shame they don't read the forum0 -
I just tune folks out. You can't let other people's negative relationships with food interfere with your progress. I find most people who are negative are just projecting their own issues onto you. I have a doctor, dietitian and exercise physiologist so I'm pretty stocked up on knowing what I need to be doing. Sometimes I do it; sometimes I don't. 0
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whatatime2befit wrote: »My co-workers don't really offer alot of advice, but some have become my calorie police, as they know i've been losing weight. I follow an "anything in moderation" mindset, and eat anything as long as it fits in my calorie allotment for the day. Can't tell you the times I've had a cookie from the lunchroom, or picked out something other than a salad for my lunch, and have been told "oh no, you can't eat that". Umm, yes I can. I count it, and move on with my day.
I just met you, but you're my new best friend, because we are totally on the same page with this!
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ManiacalLaugh wrote: »linsey0689 wrote: »It's hard for me to. When people notice I have lost weight and ask me how I do it. I tell them I watched what I ate though mfp and exercise. Then they say that just doesn't work for me I have tried it so many time. I just smile and said okay sometimes. It's not worth the fight.
Yep My good friend is in the health and wellness field, a PT and a group fitness instructor. She's not overweight and looks good IMO, but she's NEVER been happy with her body...she hasn't eaten pizza since she was 10,only does clean eating , doesn' t have salt or bread in the house, etc.. I know this is borderline disordered, but when she asks what I do and tell her, it's almost like she doesn't believe it and that she needs to be on a specific diet to lose weight (clearly not working for her). I just tell her I'm sorry she's feeling like that and am done offering advice..b/c she doesn't seem to want to believe it.. although she says she can tell i have lost weight and wants to know how I did it...
No offense to your friend (as I'm sure she means well), but this is why I won't hire a PT without them being a licensed dietician, having some sort of sports medicine degree, and allowing me to interview them beforehand. The last two trainers I had were amazing. They both offered similar advice and had evidence to back it up. My current trainer (who is free through work, thankfully) loves pizza, carbs, and ice cream. But she's been helping me relearn how to eat such things properly again.
I agree... she's afraid of these foods and won't eat them So, my advice to her to eat in moderation and balance, doesn't really sit well with her, since she doesn't WANT to eat these types of foods anyway. No winning . 0 -
My doctor, who specializes in non-surgical weight loss, has told me repeatedly that we just have to be smarter about how we eat. If I have pizza, I get two small slices and a big salad. If I go for Mexican, I can eat the chips OR the margarita. If you are afraid of food, you are probably not going to have success in the long-term. I am not on a diet. For the first time in my life, I have a healthy relationship with food and I am not letting anyone derail that. When I want wine, I actually measure five ounces. When I want chocolate, I buy really good chocolate and savor it. Most of the time, it's still salads and ice water, but I no longer flip out when I go out to eat with friends and I'm not sure what I "can" eat on the menu.0
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laurajo521 wrote: »whatatime2befit wrote: »My co-workers don't really offer alot of advice, but some have become my calorie police, as they know i've been losing weight. I follow an "anything in moderation" mindset, and eat anything as long as it fits in my calorie allotment for the day. Can't tell you the times I've had a cookie from the lunchroom, or picked out something other than a salad for my lunch, and have been told "oh no, you can't eat that". Umm, yes I can. I count it, and move on with my day.
I just met you, but you're my new best friend, because we are totally on the same page with this!
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Ah the joys of working from home with only my dog for company!
Plus, my previous job was in a dance company where the focus was on eating healthily but making sure to fuel bodies for full days of class and rehearsals. (Not a dancer myself but none of that bro science rubbish!)0
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