anyone else get super frustrated at friends/co workers?

I hate my coworkers sometimes. They (all guys, I don't work with any females at all) are always saying they counting calories is bull**** and it's not really how you lose weight. They might can eat anything they want because their maintenance calorie limit is so high, but I can't.

I also have a group of guys who are fitness gurus and they like to critique my meals (I bring lean cuisine meals to work) and say that they're terrible for me and just preservatives.

I am obviously overweight and I would think that people would be more supportive about me trying to better myself.

Yall just reminded me how angry my father got that one time when I rejected an offer of a sugary drink. Man was he pissed. Wow.. He's diabetic too, he sure had that sugar drink when he's not suppose to at all.

No more explanation guys. No one deserves it unless they're honestly curious and not constantly scrutinizing our everyday food choices.

bump

Frustrated with: a couple of older family members who just can't let go of diet thinking and don't want to hear about saner approaches

Saddened by: a good friend who gained 20 pounds after getting hit with a few really horrible rounds of bad luck and TONS of ongoing stress and consequently sleeps in the limited time she theoretically would have available for health / fitness / planning meals.

She can't stand her body atm, but isn't in the headspace to make the changes. She does know how to do it - was into lifting years before anyone else I knew - but you do have to be ready to make the required commitments , and she's just not there right now.

I m sad that she feels compelled to comment on her weight, or beat herself up for her food choices, every time she sees me. That's partly my fault for having gone evangelical when I first lost my weight and was excited. Which I eventually stopped, once I figured out how annoying it was. But I don't want her to think I'm judging , because I'm totally not, and that's the last thing she needs

AlisonH729 wrote: »

I ranted last week about my co-worker starting Isagenix. Complaining that nothing else has worked for her. (Nothing else = Weight Watchers & the occasional exercise video.) She brings decent enough food for lunch, just way too much of it. I've tried to casually drop hints about how I weigh & measure my food and log my calories, but to no avail.

The other day she was talking about taking the 'accelerator pills' that help with metabolism and I almost just facedesked right in front of her.

I'm sorry, but "facedesked"....Killed me Sooo going to use that

We have a former personal trainer, currently studying to be a dietition, in my office. The transition from going from an workplace full of activity, where people take extream care of themselves, to a cubical office where 80% of us don't bother or follow broscience/fad diets was very hard for him to adjust to at first. He was a complete health evangilist, but has learned most of the stuff goes on death ears.
We have a joke between us because I eat healthy most of the time at work, but it never fails, that as soon as I treat myself to a bag of meat and grease from Five Guys or a (so wasn't worth it) Hot Dog pizza, that's when he happens to come visit me at my desk, always as I am in mid-piehole stuffing.

Frustrated all the time. My family has gotten used to it, but they were weirded out whenever I proposed healthier foods for our birthday/Mother's Day/Father's Day occasions. Last week for my uncle's birthday, when I brought a chicken breast salad to eat instead of the usual BBQ dinner, I thought I was gonna get slapped. Turns out they took it in stride. My uncle's ex-boyfriend (he's like family, so he gets invited to all family gatherings; it's weird when he CAN'T make it) even showed interest in the subject and mentioned how I've slimmed down since last year. So they *are* getting used to it.

Same at work. People know when they bring Timbits or there's a potluck, I'll join them for the conversation, but I'll eat my own stuff. Like everyone here, I get comments about how I'm skinny (I'm at about 9-10% body fat right now, aiming for I'll-stop-when-I'm-satisfied-with-how-I-look percent, probably around 8%), but I tell them I'm skinny because I avoid foods high in calories and I eat nutrient-dense stuff. That's not to say I don't have my cheat days; I'm planning a pizza day next Saturday. But that's fitting within my CICO budget. People don't understand CICO no matter how many times you tell them. But there's a coworker who buys his breakfast and lunch every work day WITHOUT FAIL. And he's obese. His leg has given out--stopped working, literally--twice that I've heard. His car seat collapsed when he got in. But he hasn't stopped. I even made him a salad, complete with a Post-It outlining calorie count, price, and time to prepare, just to convince him of the merits, but he hasn't changed his ways. Everyone tells him if he keeps this up, he won't have long left.

I have a friend at church who has been struggling with weight for the last...15 years...? But the last two times we went out for snacks or dinner, she had (a) a milkshake, and (b) a burger with fries that must have come up to 1,500 calories. She's a short woman with quite a considerable percentage of body fat. That would be her entire daily allotment of calories if she were trying to lose a pound a week.

I have another friend who's trying to gain muscle (well, tone, which is to say gain definition, but he doesn't believe me). He's fat. We're the same height, and he's 40 pounds heavier than me. But he doesn't listen. I tell him I lost 40 pounds in about 6 months, and I've got more muscle definition even though I didn't gain any muscle mass. So I suggest, at his body fat percentage, he should try to slim down if he wants muscle definition. That means tracking calories. But he won't. He says he can't be bothered. He's already eating right (even though I see him with sodas, Arizona coconut drinks, Pringles, McBugers, etc.) Guess what his gains have been in the last year since he started talking about this? But no matter how many times I tell him about all this and talk to him about the biology, nope. He'll do it his own way. Okie dokie. I can't make him. I can just show him the gains I get vs. the gains he doesn't but that's all. To his merit, he's found kayaking and does that twice a week. So I pat him on the back now. I'll try to find him something for the winters, but for now he's made improvements, not visible, but hopefully that'll come. He's found his fun exercise and that's all that matters, isn't it? Just have to get that diet under control now.

Do I sound mean? Meh. Maybe a bit. But this is after years of trying to convince people of how to do things without seeing their results and getting hostility in return. Now I just smile, nod, and say, "Your dreams are commendable."

Dariasen wrote: »

tomatoey wrote: »

Saddened by: a good friend who gained 20 pounds after getting hit with a few really horrible rounds of bad luck and TONS of ongoing stress and consequently sleeps in the limited time she theoretically would have available for health / fitness / planning meals.
She can't stand her body atm, but isn't in the headspace to make the changes. She does know how to do it - was into lifting years before anyone else I knew - but you do have to be ready to make the required commitments , and she's just not there right now.

I do this when I go into a depression. Sometimes the stress is just too much and I shut down. It's easier to sleep than think. Even though I may hate the way I look/feel I am just too sad to care.

It really is about being in the right headspace. If you feel she may respond well, encourage her to seek help from a mental health professional. Once I improved my metal health I wanted to improve my physical health, which further improved my mental health, and so on in an upward sprial.

With my friend, she's just overwhelmed from working 60-70 hours a week + a crazy commute (can't move bc area is in a real estate bubble, timing is bad) + taking care of sick family members (some specifics around the situation make it hard to find appropriate paid help). I think it's more that practical things would make a difference for her


But definitely, what you're talking about happens with depression, and mental health care makes a huge difference in people's readiness to take care of themselves. I'm glad you found your way up the spiral

I hate that I watch what I eat so so much but the one time I get a piece of pie or cheesecake, someone said to me "don't you have a PT test coming up?"

It pees me off so much!

Not at the office so much as just friends in general. I try to stick to my eating healthy (as best I can). Meanwhile one friend has taken to the 'lose weight quick' pills and schemes that work for a couple weeks then she gains all back and then some, while the other does nothing but complain about her weight (and the plethora of aches and pains obesity brings with it). Neither makes any effort to change their diet or lifestyles, so what's a friend to do. The worst part is telling them that I don't want to go out for Beer and Wing night because I'm trying to get healthy. They guilt trip me for not hanging out. It's ridiculous! Sometimes I feel they are trying to sabotage just so they don't have to feel bad about their weight.

Got a little off topic there, and sorry for the rant

juliebowman4 wrote: »

What DOES bother me is when I say 'no thank you' to the chocolate peanut butter cookies they are offering me at 9:30am.....and they start getting insistent, commenting that I'm thin, I can afford to eat a few cookies......so I politely and briefly explain "I'm watching what I eat, so no thank you"......and they comment "Well geez, what you must think of me, if you're watching your weight!"
I'm dying to say "Your morbid obesity is your issue, not mine....I actually don't think of your body at all. I'm too self-absorbed for that"

Oh I know this one, been there done that. My response is along the lines of "No, thank you" and if they then start on the insistent, commenting that I'm thin, I can afford to eat a few cookies..... I state; really no thank you If they continue (and they have done) I smile sweetly, look at them and ask, which part is not completely clear? The N part or the O part? Usually stops them right there and then.

bump

tannibal_lecter wrote: »

I don't care what other people want to do with their bodies, and I would hope people wouldn't have any opinions about what I do with mine. Body policing is lame.

This x 1,000,000

Thankfully no one talks about food in my office that way right now. But in a previous office I had the food police brigade. All these women talked about was dieting, how fat they were (none of them were overweight at all), how much they wanted salad. Honestly, made me want to barf. IDK how I got out of there without having some major body insecurity. I was the only one there who was heavy. I personally just stay out of such talk because it's not productive in any manner.