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Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »
So, who all is going?
So far me, Nicci and my friend and her daughter are definitive. You in?0 -
Sorry you haven't had better luck with these guys. I can't get over how many weirdos there are out there!
As for that last guy, I haven't been on a lot of dates, but I've been on enough to realize that if I'm uncomfortable with a guy on a first date (aside from some normal nervousness about meeting someone new) it doesn't get better on a second date. If I were in your position, I probably wouldn't go out with him again.
BUT, that's just my opinion. Of course, you're the one who's actually gone out with him, so you should go with your gut on whether or not you go out with him again.
I agree with @ShibaEars that my gut opinion of the guy didn't change from first to second date (or from phone call to first date). I will also add to that thought that while I love to give the benefit of the doubt it is rarely warranted. Red flags are red flags. I "get" socially awkward, heck I'm a scientist and a lot of the dates I went on were with engineers or scientists or MD's, but red flags are different and I know you've got good instincts as to how you size up a person and if that man is right at least enough to get to know more.
ETA - a lot of these guys were a bit socially awkward but great guys - just not the right man for me.
ETA #2 - The one guy (an aerospace engineer) who in our predate phone call (I got to really screening them) sounded fine until he spouted anger at his ex and described in detail how his bird slept on his pillow with him. I thought - OUCH anger issues and drama that I don't want and who the heck wants a jealous parrot in the room which potentially romantic behavior? I've lived with a big bird (roommate's bird) and I know full well how much work they are and that they live 50+ years. I'm not sharing my pillow with a bird so why would I date a man who does? I cancelled our first date and didn't offer to reschedule.
I also screened out a man who felt very strongly about his religious views (fine, just don't push them on me) and who tried to equate religion and science. They are not the same thing, one is based on believing in something and faith while the other is looking at the data we have with the best explanation we have for it at the time, that is up for constant review and debate and revision, but based on data. I told him I could not date him as we are so far apart in something that is important to me (and I said it about like that) and he replied with such bitter hatred that I felt I ducked a bullet by not even having given him my name or contact information yet! Yikes, he was one very angry man!
It sounds like your screening is coming up to speed and that you have a better and better idea of what constitutes a "right" for you man. Follow your gut and keep watching for those red flags.
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Chipotle I liked a lot until I got food poisoning there - not once but twice! Coincidentally the last two times I got food poisoning was from Chipotle. I was vegetarian at the time, and dairy free and gluten free so either beans or rice or guacamole was the culprit. I have had it once since at a family event where they were used as caterers and I was fine, but I stopped going to Chipotle about 2007 or 2008. There is plenty of great Mexican food and Sonoran food in my area!
On a similar note - cheese does not love me and many Mexican places around here do not put cheese on tacos. But to be sure, I always ask for "no cheese, no sour cream". Tacos, tamales, and some other foods can easily be prepared without cheese. However I do understand the love of cheese.
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I'm working to lose weight so I can get into medical school, but a big part of the reason that I haven't told anyone is that I'd like to have children some day. My husband and I haven't actively been trying, but we also haven't been trying not to, and that's for the last 5 years. I'm scared as hell that I will never be able to conceive, which I've also never told anyone (with the exception of my husband). We've bought our first car together, working on a first house, already have 2 dogs, but I still want more.. I want my own rugrats.
Good luck to you on the family front. I hope it works out for you. Having kids was my main motivation to lose weight too.0 -
lilaclovebird wrote: »
Why my profile pic is what it is. lol
@Italian_Buju My sister will only talk to ONE therapist that she has had before and she hasn't been able to find/get a hold of her and where he new practice is. My mother and my sister's fiance are working on that one. Hopefully, she'll start getting out more.
The Freelee the banana girl thing was for the confessor who came in about eating 4 peaches in one sitting. Reminded me of Freelee. She will eat whole bowls of figs, peaches, pomegranates, or a half a watermelon in one sitting! I like her overall messages about how we need to stop poisoning our bodies with constant fast food consumption and we need to get fit and active. What I DON'T like is she has a very strong 'my way or the highway' attitude about it. She's a strict raw 'til 4 vegan who lives off of a fruit based diet. Works great for her but might not be so great for EVERYONE.
And about Chipotle, it's 'okay'. SSP LOVES it but as for me, I'm half Mexican, I make my own burritos. :laugh:
This is why I love you @Susieq_1994! Cheese IS life! I believe I confessed long ago about how I was suffering without cheese in my life because I thought it was affecting my skin. Well it wasn't, and I now have as much cheese as my calories will let me! Cheese is my one true love.
I can't really stand the banana girl after she reckoned losing her period when she first went strict low fat vegan was a good thing. Um, no, that usually indicates there is a problem. Apparently it came back eventually so I'm not doubting her overall health (like you say, if it works for her then great for her), but to tell other young women that losing your period is fine is pretty bad advice in my book. I can imagine teenage girls getting some pretty damaging messages from that.0 -
TigerNY128 wrote: »
Some people do better on low carb...like myself. I feel better, I sleep better...I think everyone is different.
Ditto. I haven't had pasta, rice or a sandwich in 7-8 weeks and I really don't care. I allow myself some potato every now and then. Some people adapt to low carb quite well, and I do think I could do this for the rest of my life. I miss fruit the most, but once I reach my goal weight I can lift it up to 100-150g carbs a day and easily squeeze in fruit
I say don't knock it til you try it.
Edit, I'm a bit behind on this thread so apologies0 -
Sons updates!
Son #1 has a job interview tomorrow. Please send him positive vibes. It actually sounds like a nice little first job. I hope so much he can present himself well.
Son #2 I took him to the doctor to get antibiotics for his raging ingrown toenail infection. He has a podiatrist appointment next week to get it resected (sp?) but they won't do it if it's still infected. Hoping the meds will improve it enough - I want him to be all done before he goes back to school the following week.
How are they doing now?
Again, if this has already been answered later on don't worry. lol0 -
Ditto. I haven't had pasta, rice or a sandwich in 7-8 weeks and I really don't care. I allow myself some potato every now and then. Some people adapt to low carb quite well, and I do think I could do this for the rest of my life. I miss fruit the most, but once I reach my goal weight I can lift it up to 100-150g carbs a day and easily squeeze in fruit
I say don't knock it til you try it.
Edit, I'm a bit behind on this thread so apologies
I think I'd miss fruit the most too. I'm happy it's working out so well for you!!0 -
Hey friends... stopping in to say hello and thanks for the condolences and PM's I received. My grandmother did pass. She was 89, almost 90 and lived a great life and was at peace with herself and a servant of the Lord so we celebrated her life as she would have us do.
I hope everyone is doing well and that Kelly is getting her walks in, Mo is getting her 5x5 in, Buehrle had a great time across the pond and Pofoster is getting her cute shoe photos in!
And everyone else of course. I hope to be all caught up tomorrow so I can be a little more active here.
Awww I'm sorry to hear this m1xm0d3
I Hope you and your family are doing well, it's always nice when people are at peace with themselves before they pass, it makes a tragic thing more bearable. 0 -
Another with younger parents- my dad is 55 and mom is 54, they're still young to me!
Same! I don't see them any older than they were 10 years ago.0 -
You're NOT dumb! I'm reasonably certain there are a lot of women here who can relate to having unwanted sex for less-than-optimum reasons.
In my own history I can say I've had sex on various occasions because I didn't want to hurt the guy's feelings by rejecting him, because I was too mentally exhausted to continue arguing about why we weren't going to have sex, because I just felt like having a brief period of physical closeness with another human being and my favourite lousy reason for sex: because I wanted to erase the last guy I'd had sex with.
Granted, I may have a more casual attitude about the whole sex thing than others who were raised in more conservative or religious environments.
I think you may have put yourself in a position of vulnerability by drinking in the company of someone you didn't know well... and that would be my only caution.
*Puts hand up* I know I'm late to the party but I have, many a time. I wouldn't beat yourself up about it, the worst one was at the end of a double date, the other couple went off happily and I did it because it seemed like the polite thing to do
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This really breaks my heart. I hope when I catch up that there will be good news instead of more bad news.
^this^ hoping for good news!0 -
Great! Enjoy it. I've just eaten two warm scones with my homemade clotted cream (recipe in Batcave - too good to not share!) and strawberry jam, and that's also given me a rather nice sense of well-being. Have a great weekend!
Gonna find that bad boy later...0 -
Wow, this really did tear me up. Thank you. Although I have a lot of rough days, I do try to live life this way. I'm the one who takes way too many pictures and laughs too loud but I think it that is the way life should be.
WINNER!0 -
I am so mad at my DOH! We joined the Y instead of the nearby gym because it had all the things he wanted, a pool, free weights and child minding. Now in four months he has only gone once, and that was five weeks ago. I have adjusted; I have learned to appreciate the Y. The staff is very helpful, they made sure I have a better understanding of the equipment than any of the gyms I have belonged to in the past, no one is trying to up-sell me, the people who go there are very nice and I am going 3-4 times a week. Clearly, it is working for me.
But I wanted to join the gym where I could watch Supernatural while on the treadmill! I wanted the gym that was open later than 4 on Saturday and noon on Sunday! I wanted a rowing machine!
A happy wife is a happy life, so I am going to leverage my dissatisfaction into Belly Dancing lessons.
That is all. 0 -
*Puts hand up* I know I'm late to the party but I have, many a time. I wouldn't beat yourself up about it, the worst one was at the end of a double date, the other couple went off happily and I did it because it seemed like the polite thing to do
@lois_1989 and @KylerJaye
Yup...done that too. I am really not puritanical at ALL about sex. I definitely understand people that are though.
I'm sorry your dates have been so crummy as of late @KylerJaye but you will find someone worth your while eventually. Hopefully they won't be intimidated by how strong you're becoming through these experiences.
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I am so mad at my DOH! We joined the Y instead of the nearby gym because it had all the things he wanted, a pool, free weights and child minding. Now in four months he has only gone once, and that was five weeks ago. I have adjusted; I have learned to appreciate the Y. The staff is very helpful, they made sure I have a better understanding of the equipment than any of the gyms I have belonged to in the past, no one is trying to up-sell me, the people who go there are very nice and I am going 3-4 times a week. Clearly, it is working for me.
But I wanted to join the gym where I could watch Supernatural while on the treadmill! I wanted the gym that was open later than 4 on Saturday and noon on Sunday! I wanted a rowing machine!
A happy wife is a happy life, so I am going to leverage my dissatisfaction into Belly Dancing lessons.
That is all.
BEST THING EVER! I have always wanted to do Belly Dancing but when I had them nearby in Odessa,TX, we couldn't afford it. Now if I want them I have to drive all the way into Austin...
ETA: I hit 1,000 posts and didn't even realize it. I hit my 40 pounds lost marker yesterday and didn't even record it yesterday. I guess my perspective is different and I'm focusing on other goals instead.
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I can't really stand the banana girl after she reckoned losing her period when she first went strict low fat vegan was a good thing. Um, no, that usually indicates there is a problem. Apparently it came back eventually so I'm not doubting her overall health (like you say, if it works for her then great for her), but to tell other young women that losing your period is fine is pretty bad advice in my book. I can imagine teenage girls getting some pretty damaging messages from that.
The thing I find odd is how she says she eats 30-50 bananas a day. Right there would be around 3,000-4,000 calories in bananas alone.
I thought I read that she suffered from either an eating disorder or disordered eating, but I might be thinking of someone else.
The thing I find extremely damaging is the fact that normal people will try this diet thinking they will lose weight because they're eating healthier foods, & then wonder how they're gaining weight with eating healthier foods.0 -
Whyyy would someone want to eat 30-50 bananas a day? Or even a week? WTH?0
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Ditto. I haven't had pasta, rice or a sandwich in 7-8 weeks and I really don't care. I allow myself some potato every now and then. Some people adapt to low carb quite well, and I do think I could do this for the rest of my life. I miss fruit the most, but once I reach my goal weight I can lift it up to 100-150g carbs a day and easily squeeze in fruit
I say don't knock it til you try it.
Edit, I'm a bit behind on this thread so apologies
Sorry, I meant the people who use low carb, low fat, sugar free, low protein, etc. as a gimmick to lose weight or a quick fix & then once they lose their desired weight they go right back to eating the way they did before.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »
Yay! We have three now, and I think eithe Julie or Lois was thinking of joining us too!
I have never seen Downton Abbey, I guess I better watch before July 2016. I remember the Tower of London, that was cool. I haven't been to Hampton Court. I can't wait!
Laura are you going to join us on the mountain climb?
I'm happy to tag along! I'll bring Danny kicking and screaming as well if he is invited? 0 -
Dover is opposite side of the south of England to Devon. You wouldn't day-trip it. But you could feasibly do Dover from London in a day if that were your main place to see. Will anyone make it up north in their perfect trip to the UK? We have some stunning scenery round the Peak District. Just be sure to bring your brolly.
Funnily enough I'm up in Liverpool next week, half way there. lol 0 -
@MelissaPhippsFeagins I've seen a lot of overweight doctors too, but from the research that I've done, overweight/obese doctors are often taken less seriously by patients. Their medical advice is less likely to be followed. On top of that, medical schools are more hesitant to accept overweight/obese students, as they believe that the workload will be too demanding. The heavier you are, the harder it is to get in, and the more likely your GPA/MCAT scores will be used as deterrents (a 3.9 which would be considered a competitive GPA for a normal weight student would be considered less great for an overweight/obese student). Since I'm Caucasian, my chances go down there as well. Female and first generation are both working in my favor, though.
@spamarie Thanks! Glad to know that I'm not alone in that.0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »
Sorry, I meant the people who use low carb, low fat, sugar free, low protein, etc. as a gimmick to lose weight or a quick fix & then once they lose their desired weight they go right back to eating the way they did before.
OH low EVERYTHING! Isn't that the Southbeach diet? Yeah I would die. It's amazing how much you do actually need fat when you cut out carbs. I was skeptical at first and now I'm just like "Mmmmmm full fat cheeeeeeese"0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »
The thing I find odd is how she says she eats 30-50 bananas a day. Right there would be around 3,000-4,000 calories in bananas alone.
I thought I read that she suffered from either an eating disorder or disordered eating, but I might be thinking of someone else.
The thing I find extremely damaging is the fact that normal people will try this diet thinking they will lose weight because they're eating healthier foods, & then wonder how they're gaining weight with eating healthier foods.
Honestly, she's crazy. An absolute lunatic with no logic or science to back her up, and a nasty attacking attitude towards anyone who disagrees with her (regardless of how polite they are).
She also works out like a crazy person, hours of cardio a day, and denies it because she insists that you don't need to work out to lose weight while eating a ridiculous amount of food.
Confession: To be completely honest, anyone who mentions her in a way that puts her or her way of life in positive terms reduces my opinion of their mental capabilities significantly.
ETA: Not knocking raw vegans in this post at all. Just the loony one.0 -
I think I'd miss fruit the most too. I'm happy it's working out so well for you!!
I get sad when I go food shopping and have to walk past all the bright coloured fruit and just head for the veg. Courgette (zucchini I believe in America?) is my new best friend.
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So I admittedly had never heard of the banana girl, and decided to do a google search. The first thing I found was a petition on change.org https://www.change.org/p/youtube-terminate-freelee-the-banana-girl-and-durianrider-s-multiple-youtube-accounts-and-internet-sites-and-ban-them-for-life where someone is trying to get the banana girl and some guy named durianrider taken offline for good. She states that she followed their high carb/sugar diet and had such problems as a pulmonary embolism, pre-diabetes... This was a grown woman who was desperate to lose the weight. She doesn't appear to be alone. Imagine what all the younger children and teens must be thinking???0
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@MelissaPhippsFeagins I've seen a lot of overweight doctors too, but from the research that I've done, overweight/obese doctors are often taken less seriously by patients. Their medical advice is less likely to be followed. On top of that, medical schools are more hesitant to accept overweight/obese students, as they believe that the workload will be too demanding. The heavier you are, the harder it is to get in, and the more likely your GPA/MCAT scores will be used as deterrents (a 3.9 which would be considered a competitive GPA for a normal weight student would be considered less great for an overweight/obese student). Since I'm Caucasian, my chances go down there as well. Female and first generation are both working in my favor, though.
@spamarie Thanks! Glad to know that I'm not alone in that.
I think the patient perspective is worth thinking about, since I think you're right on that. I used to have a dentist with the worst teeth ever, and I used to think, 'what do you know?'. That being said, the nurse who helped me get on track with weight loss was a little overweight herself (having lost quite a bit previously) which I quite liked since I felt she had a better understanding of where I was coming from than someone for whom weight management came easily.
I find it a bit rubbish that your weight should affect your chances of actually getting into a school. It's not like you're looking to be a 100m sprinter! You could be a wonderful doctor even if you were obese. I've no idea how one goes about getting into medical school in the States, I assume there's a face to face interview at some point?
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THIS lolkelly_c_77 wrote: »Whyyy would someone want to eat 30-50 bananas a day? Or even a week? WTH?
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@spamarie The first part of the whole process is to submit a very generic application which gives your scores and a brief view of who you are. The generic application costs quite a bit to send to each school, but it gets uploaded to a giant database. Next, if one of the schools you applied for likes what you have to offer, you fill out a secondary application, which is a bit more personal and where you can really set yourself apart, with a picture of yourself, and another fee. Students from minority groups (female, first generation, disabilities, races) have higher chances of getting into medical school because many medical schools like to say that they are diverse. Obesity does not apply to diversity. After that, then the interviewing can be scheduled and everything.
My doctor when I was a kid always used to tell me that I needed to lose weight (which, she wasn't wrong). She was lucky to be 100 pounds soaking wet, and I used to always think "what the heck would you know about struggling with weight??" I definitely understand better relating to someone who struggles with weight loss more than someone who's never had a weight problem.0
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