I grant then ruin someone's wish...

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Replies

  • just_silk
    just_silk Posts: 105 Member
    Granted but the waffels were sketchy and have now run out of you instead.

    I wish the office wasn't so hot.
  • zcb94
    zcb94 Posts: 3,678 Member
    Ooh, this is easy to ruin. Now it's freezing in there!
    I wish I could get rid of this dumb illness!
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    zcb94 wrote: »
    Ooh, this is easy to ruin. Now it's freezing in there!
    I wish I could get rid of this dumb illness!

    Granted. Now your illness has mutated into a super intelligent sentient virus that takes over your body and makes you a super mutant, antibiotic-resistant, raging omnipotent Typhoid Mary and everywhere you go, people drop dead and their insides liquefy all over your Mary Janes.

    I wish winter was coming.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    jaymvita wrote: »
    zcb94 wrote: »
    Ooh, this is easy to ruin. Now it's freezing in there!
    I wish I could get rid of this dumb illness!

    Granted. Now your illness has mutated into a super intelligent sentient virus that takes over your body and makes you a super mutant, antibiotic-resistant, raging omnipotent Typhoid Mary and everywhere you go, people drop dead and their insides liquefy all over your Mary Janes.

    I wish winter was coming.

    Granted: Winter is coming. It's personified and it's coming for you. It's hard, cold and it intends to Avalanche you with its full fury. Better wear mittens.

    Wish I could drink hot cocoa and watch that.

  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    Maximus wrote: »
    @Cindy4FunFit wrote: »



    Wish I could drink hot cocoa and watch that.

    Granted but the selfie video of you drinking cocoa goes viral in India and you get 1 billion FR

    I wish Forrest Gump still played for Alabama

    Granted but little 10 year old Forrest is outmatched especially with those leg braces hampering him. His first snap is an utter disaster that leaves him in worse shape than he was before. The resulting brain damage only allows him to say "Two shoes" before he spits down his chin. And Alabama loses to Clemson.

    I wish I didn't already know that I'm going to win tonight Powerball.
  • Iguessicandothis
    Iguessicandothis Posts: 2,132 Member
    jaymvita wrote: »
    Maximus wrote: »
    @Cindy4FunFit wrote: »



    Wish I could drink hot cocoa and watch that.

    Granted but the selfie video of you drinking cocoa goes viral in India and you get 1 billion FR

    I wish Forrest Gump still played for Alabama

    Granted but little 10 year old Forrest is outmatched especially with those leg braces hampering him. His first snap is an utter disaster that leaves him in worse shape than he was before. The resulting brain damage only allows him to say "Two shoes" before he spits down his chin. And Alabama loses to Clemson.

    I wish I didn't already know that I'm going to win tonight Powerball.

    I feel like a horrible person for almost spitting out my coffee while reading this.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Iguessicandothis wrote: »
    jaymvita wrote: »
    Maximus wrote: »
    @Cindy4FunFit wrote: »



    Wish I could drink hot cocoa and watch that.

    Granted but the selfie video of you drinking cocoa goes viral in India and you get 1 billion FR

    I wish Forrest Gump still played for Alabama

    Granted but little 10 year old Forrest is outmatched especially with those leg braces hampering him. His first snap is an utter disaster that leaves him in worse shape than he was before. The resulting brain damage only allows him to say "Two shoes" before he spits down his chin. And Alabama loses to Clemson.

    I wish I didn't already know that I'm going to win tonight Powerball.

    I feel like a horrible person for almost spitting out my coffee while reading this.

    granted: you are not a horrible person for spitting out coffee- you are now an internet celebrity; its on a repeat Internet loop and you will never escape infamy. Make the most of it: Sign a book deal. Get a reality show. Welcome to your new life.

    Wish: she could be happy with the simple life.
  • just_silk
    just_silk Posts: 105 Member
    jaymvita wrote: »

    I wish I didn't already know that I'm going to win tonight Powerball.

    Granted but when you won you don't know it either because Forres's first snap went astray and gave you a head injury which makes you unable to retain any short term memory. Bummer.

    I wish I had a cupcake.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    Granted. You have the most succulent cupcake ever baked. It's frosted with the rarest ambrosia frosting, is as moist and tender as can be imagined and tastes like your mouth is having the most rapturous orgasm on the planet ... Too bad you're allergic to eggs, gluten, dairy and oxygen.

    I wish I could finish this whole cupcake without having so many mouthgasms.
  • just_silk
    just_silk Posts: 105 Member
    Granted no more mouthgasms for you. Sadly all of the varieties of gasm are now lost to you forever.

    I wish someone would write this paper for me.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    just_silk wrote: »
    Granted no more mouthgasms for you. Sadly all of the varieties of gasm are now lost to you forever.

    I wish someone would write this paper for me.

    Granted, I write the paper for you and it is the most stirring deconstruction of post-Soviet era politics as it relates to the price of tea in China by way of provocative thinking on the existence of man as mired in a morass of overtechnologization and instant gratification ... Too bad it has nothing to do with the subject you're studying ... Nor is it written in anything resembling the Queen's English.

    I wish my BS had earned me. B.S.
  • jenmar222
    jenmar222 Posts: 9,271 Member
    edited January 2016
    Okay, you BSd your way to a Bachelor of Science....in astronomy. But right after you graduate we discover that NASA has been pulling one over on us all these years, and there is no space. There's nothing else out there but us... All the existing knowledge is a fake. And the best you can do is hope that people confuse your astronomy degree with "astrology" and let you tell them their fortunes for a living.

    I wish Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan Tatum would threesome with me
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    jenmar22 wrote: »
    Okay, you BSd your way to a Bachelor of Science....in astronomy. But right after you graduate we discover that NASA has been pulling one over on us all these years, and there is no space. There's nothing else out there but us... All the existing knowledge is a fake. And the best you can do is hope that people confuse your astronomy degree with "astrology" and let you tell them their fortunes for a living.

    I wish Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan Tatum would threesome with me

    Granted. But they insist on recreating 2 Girls, 1 Cup. Except you're the cup.

    I wish I was able to stifle that vomit reaction just now ...
  • just_silk
    just_silk Posts: 105 Member
    Granted. You can no longer vomit. But that disgust all has to go somewhere and so your pores now ooze a greenish fluid. It's gross, it smells and it's never coming out of your favourite shirt.

    I wish I hadn't grossed myself out imagining the smell.
  • Iguessicandothis
    Iguessicandothis Posts: 2,132 Member
    Granted. You didn't imagine it. You actually smelt it.

    I wish I could lay in bed all day.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    Granted. You're perpetually locked in a state of sleep paralysis. Old Hag syndrome makes it feel like there's an elephant sitting on your chest and you see demons and beasties crawling all around you. You want to scream but you can't. It's a living waking nightmare and all you can do there is lie in dread.

    Sweet dreams.

    I wish there wasn't someone under your bed too.
  • Iguessicandothis
    Iguessicandothis Posts: 2,132 Member
    Phew, granted! There's no one under there.

    I wish I was eating an icecream sundae right now.
  • AshleyC1023
    AshleyC1023 Posts: 272 Member
    Granted, but it's ketchup icecream with bacon fat drizzled over it.

    I wish my feet were smaller.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    AClark1023 wrote: »
    Granted, but it's ketchup icecream with bacon fat drizzled over it.

    I wish my feet were smaller.

    Granted but your head is no four times larger. Your neck is proportionally thicker to support the weight so you look like a giant bobble head walking down the street. When people nod at you pleasantly, you think they're making fun of you and head butt them into unconsciousness.

    I wish my financial lawyer was ready to manage my lottery winning tonight.
  • zcb94
    zcb94 Posts: 3,678 Member
    Granted, you now have peg legs.
    I wish I didn't have a severe case of the runs right now.
  • jenmar222
    jenmar222 Posts: 9,271 Member
    @xcb

    O_o Okay you can never poo again. And you become so constipated that you slowly turn into a human size turd. And your medical case makes the cover of the NYT

    @Jay

    Your lawyer is ready. But I used my sonic mind control device to convince you to will it all to me. I've already picked out my new apartment and new ride. If you're nice to me, I'll buy you a couple new gadgets

    I wish my roommate wasn't having a party tonight and that I could just chill in my undies and play FIFA
  • AshleyC1023
    AshleyC1023 Posts: 272 Member
    edited January 2016
    Granted, your roomie doesn't throw a party, it's a huge business meeting, and you still can't hang out in your undies or play FIFA.

    @Jay - oh your lawyer is ready, but he embezzles all of it, leaving you with a massive tax burden while he absconds to South America.
    I wish the recipe I made tonight tasted as good as it looked.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    @jenmar22 Granted. Your shame and self-consciousness have been completely obliterated. Your roommate is not having a party, instead it's a high class cotillion but you still choose to chill in your undies and play FIFA. The undies you choose are your most comfortable pair that have thinned to holes in most places and is only held together by sheer force of will in other places. And you skip wearing a top altogether because it's warm in there with all those bodies. And you lose at FIFA.

    @AClark1023 Granted because you have developed a healthy appreciation for the taste of paper and ink. You eat most magazines and newspapers like potato chips and the resulting ink bloat turns your lips, eyes and fingernails blue. The excellent roughage keeps you nice and regular though which literally makes you full of shi++y information.

    I wish I had my favorite Scotch in my hand right now...
  • Iguessicandothis
    Iguessicandothis Posts: 2,132 Member
    Granted. It's in your hand...because you've stolen it, and have been caught in the act. You will now face charges of theft and public urination. I'm not sure why you also chose to do THAT.

    I wish my visa bill was paid.
  • MandyVSG
    MandyVSG Posts: 46 Member
    Granted, but you had to open up a Mastercard in order to pay it.

    I wish I had a self-cleaning house.
  • jenmar222
    jenmar222 Posts: 9,271 Member
    MandyVSG wrote: »
    Granted, but you had to open up a Mastercard in order to pay it.

    I wish I had a self-cleaning house.

    You do, but it's constantly spraying you down and scrubbing you whenever you're inside it. You can never keep makeup or dry clothes. And your skin is in a perpetual prune state.

    I wish I was married to Jaun Mata (soccer player)

    yk4evckwosry.jpg

  • AshleyC1023
    AshleyC1023 Posts: 272 Member
    MandyVSG wrote: »
    Granted, but you had to open up a Mastercard in order to pay it.

    I wish I had a self-cleaning house.

    Granted, but while your house now cleans itself, it dumps everything including bags of garbage, loose in your front yard...and its windy.

    I wish there was something good on TV rather than this crap I'm watching.
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    Granted, but you've subscribed to every premium cable channel
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    AClark1023 wrote: »
    MandyVSG wrote: »
    Granted, but you had to open up a Mastercard in order to pay it.

    I wish I had a self-cleaning house.

    Granted, but while your house now cleans itself, it dumps everything including bags of garbage, loose in your front yard...and its windy.

    I wish there was something good on TV rather than this crap I'm watching.

    Granted. The most satisfying bowel movement you've ever had is now sitting on your tv. It is decidedly better than the crap you WERE watching in terms of texture, viscosity and overall aroma. You're welcome.

    I wish I could forget that whole exchange.
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