I grant then ruin someone's wish...

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  • jenmar222
    jenmar222 Posts: 9,279 Member
    edited January 2016
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    Granted. But you also forget you are a man. So you spend the day picking out B-cup bras, buying tampons, and getting a manicure. And you crush on Chris Pratt and ask everyone to call you @Jaynemvita

    I'm reposting this once, since I got skipped...

    I wish I was married to Jaun Mata (soccer player)

    yk4evckwosry.jpg
  • AshleyC1023
    AshleyC1023 Posts: 272 Member
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    Granted, you're now married to Juan Mata, but you find out that he's a real *kitten* and womanizer. Not only is he gone all the time, but he's controlling and an ego maniac, who thinks women belong in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. The best exchange you can hope for with him is "make me a sammich".
    (God that's cruel, sorry)

    I wish my husband would come home early from his work trip.

  • marcelo_templario
    marcelo_templario Posts: 653 Member
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    Granted.

    But just to find out he's flunking a divorce letter on the table to run away with his 18 year-old mistress.

    I wish I could play the piano as a master.
  • AshleyC1023
    AshleyC1023 Posts: 272 Member
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    LOL! Cruel. :)
    Granted, you can now play piano like Bach, however, every other mental skill has been deleted from your brain and you have difficulty tying your shoes, feeding yourself, and have to wear adult diapers and have a 24 hour caretaker.

    I wish the laundry would do itself.

  • zcb94
    zcb94 Posts: 3,679 Member
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    Granted. It still takes forever by itself, though.
    I wish I could live without all this pain all over my body.
  • just_silk
    just_silk Posts: 105 Member
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    Granted but now you can't feel anything at all. No physical, mental or emotional sensation can reach you and you are a tragic void of emptiness.

    I wish I could grant wishes for real and not have to ruin them.
  • Raykels
    Raykels Posts: 123 Member
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    Granted, but you've got hearing impairment so always grant them slightly wrong which ruins them.

    I wish I was pretty.
  • marcelo_templario
    marcelo_templario Posts: 653 Member
    edited January 2016
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    Granted...wait..somebody already granted you that...probably your mom...but.... You gonna attract a ton of buff airhead douche....bags...

    I wish I could heal people.
  • Raykels
    Raykels Posts: 123 Member
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    thank you, but i obviously disagree lol :-)

    Granted, but everytime you heal someone a kitten dies
  • DiviturLabimur
    DiviturLabimur Posts: 768 Member
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    You didn't wish
    I wish I could time travel
  • marcelo_templario
    marcelo_templario Posts: 653 Member
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    Granted...you'd travel without knowing where you'd get, like the ice age and die.

    I wish I could read and speak any language in the world.
  • AshleyC1023
    AshleyC1023 Posts: 272 Member
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    Granted, you can now read and speak any language in the world. However, you become agoraphobic and never leave your house again.

    I wish I didn't sweat like a hooker in church at the gym.
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
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    Granted but that world is Mars and it's empty


    I wish I could retire
  • DiviturLabimur
    DiviturLabimur Posts: 768 Member
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    Granted, but you die of boredom

    I wish I could control the weather
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
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    granted but it's only over you

    The rest of the world still suffers

    I wish I fire lightening bolts
  • AshleyC1023
    AshleyC1023 Posts: 272 Member
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    Granted, you can now fire lightning bolts, but the ability ruins your sex life due to untimely lightning bolts.

    I wish that candy wasn't so f'ing bad for you!
  • just_silk
    just_silk Posts: 105 Member
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    Granted, but it now tastes like celery so what was the point?

    I wish my hair didn't take so long to dry.
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
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    Granted, it dries in a minute, but it's all matted.

    I wish, my face wasn't black and blue
  • bdgfn
    bdgfn Posts: 7,719 Member
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    Granted, but now the rest of your body is.

    I wish I was 20 years younger.
  • just_silk
    just_silk Posts: 105 Member
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    Granted but now you've gone full Benjamin button and will soon become a man baby.

    I wish someone would bring me some chocolate.

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