Obsessive/Unhealthy Dieting Relationship
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Look, we don't need to be mean or attack the OP. Yes, its frustrating when ppl won't take your advice, especially when its good advice that they likely should take.
OP, if this is hard for u that's fine, its normal, but the choice is up to you: either you give up or you find a way to make it work and push through it - that is your choice. But if you don't want to take the advice that is offered then maybe don't seek it out. Good luck with all future endeavors!0 -
You are overly worried. A lot of what you are worried about is minor. A lot of what you are worrying about is no big deal and it looks like you are trying to do too much. Rest, relax and go with the flow and remember your faith.
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I've never weighed my food by using a scale. That is a weight watchers thing. And the reason they do this is because if they used the calorie counting approach they would go out of business. This is the beauty of my fitness pal. Counting calories. Easy. Practical. It works.0
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Why can't you just carry around some food in your purse/bag that doesn't require refrigeration that you can eat on the fly or should your plans change? Consistently carry peanut butter, fruit, pitas, canned soup, crackers etc. It would be the simplest and most straight forward solution to me. If this is not a case of friends pressuring you, why do you feel you need to concoct meals every single night? Just pull out a banana and a pita and you're done.
People here have made excellent suggestions but you have shot all of them down. If you have been at this for years, you should really try taking their advice whether you think it would work or not. If it's not your priority, it's not your priority.0 -
I did check out the eating disorder website, but I'm not seeing where it can help. I don't have traditional binges, and I'm certainly not anorexic or bulimic.
I'm listening to the Beck Diet solution again. I've read the book at least half a dozen times. I'm trying the small goal thing. I'm trying to eat more fruits and vegetables. I went to another OA meeting yesterday, but I still don't see how typing that I relate to someone spending 20 minutes rambling actually is supposed to help anything.
I can't be the only one who goes from weighing and measuring everything to being so sick and tired of weighing, measuring, and tracking food that they just don't want to do it anymore.0 -
I do bring food with me places. THAT IS THE PROBLEM. I'm tired of going over to people's houses and eating my own food at dinnertime. It's WEIRD.0
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If you are seeing these people at least once a week during your group, you probably have some level of comfort with them, right? I don't understand why it's so 'WEIRD'. My friends wouldn't give a hoot what I did if we had regular meet-ups and I wanted to eat my own thing. I could understand if it was a very special event and you were carrying around your own dinner, but if it's casual and ongoing meet-ups, what's the big deal? My colleagues at work are constantly eating together, sharing food, and going out - I don't participate. They don't mind.0
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The fact that your behavior is causing you significant distress is something you should not ignore. Find a counselor, or at least a trusted friend, that you can talk to about some of these things, before it gets any worse.0
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I do bring food with me places. THAT IS THE PROBLEM. I'm tired of going over to people's houses and eating my own food at dinnertime. It's WEIRD.
Why not eat a small meal or snack before going over there? That way you can still eat with them, have smaller portions, and still be satisfied.0 -
jennifer_417 wrote: »The fact that your behavior is causing you significant distress is something you should not ignore. Find a counselor, or at least a trusted friend, that you can talk to about some of these things, before it gets any worse.
She can't afford it, and it probably wouldn't help anyway.
Just saving the OP the trouble of answering.0 -
Hi Ftsolk. Do you really want to lose weight or do you just like talking about it? I ask because it seems that you're making this even harder than it has to be. And I can relate. I had to adjust because I don't want to obsess and diet. I want to control my weight in a sustainable manner.
So you've been weighing food for a while... Right? Have you developed the instinct to be able to gauge a serving size? Leave the scale home (still log the food though) and Try it for a couple weeks and see what impact it has on your losses. You may be surprised!
The anxiety you're feeling isn't necessary to lose weight and it's probably time to try other methods so you can move on to sustainable weight loss.
I wish you the best of luck!0 -
It sounds like you are looking for an excuse to quit. Which is fine, you don't have to lose weight. But if you want to lose weight, there are obviously ways to do it without being completely obsessive. Why not decide on a reasonable number of times to eat food prepared by others (I go out a couple times a week usually, and did this when losing weight) and then decide how you want to handle it. If the food is reasonably consistent with your plan, focus on sticking to reasonable portions and eating only a little dessert, if offered. If you think there won't be lower cal options or vegetables, offer to bring a vegetable course or eat more vegetables and lower calories earlier in the day. If you think you will want to overeat and want the freedom to do so, work it into your week or exercise more on that day (my long run/bike days were usually Saturday and I go out for dinner most Saturdays, for example).
For the other meals, keep doing what you are doing -- seems like your friends understand and are cool with it. OR, think hard about whether you really need to eat out on those days. Bible study is great, does it have to be combined with dinner? Stuff like that.
Also, I agree that after weighing for a while you should be able to gauge portions somewhat, and can have a meal out without a scale (but logging anyway with estimates is often a good reality check -- I did this for restaurant meals when I was actively losing). If that stalls your losses, you'll know that you are underestimating and will have to eat a bit less than you think you can.0 -
This is incredibly frustrating to read. It does seem you want permission to quit because you shoot down everything everyone suggests. So do it, just quit.
Orrrr, stop being hung up about making sure your plate is half full of veggies at every meal. Use some of the skills you absolutely have to have learned in all these years of weighing and measuring to eyeball reasonable portions. It's not like you're 4'1 with 5lbs to lose and therefore have tiny margins of error to play with. I eat out reasonably regularly and still lose.
It seems you are putting up barriers that don't actually exist to excuse yourself from continuing. You've lost 20lbs since October, that's a great achievement so you are able to lose at a good pace. You could just relax about eating with friends, maybe you'll lose a little slower but you'll still lose. There are people with all kinds of lifestyles who are able to lose and maintain but they don't make excuses for every single little thing for years on end.0 -
CICO is for weight loss. Sounds like you're understanding the CI part fine. But are you doing anything to help with the CO part? While exercise is for fitness and health, it DOES help with calorie expenditure. And it doesn't have to be something crazy. Walking is fine if you do it for a decent duration.
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For do it yourself therapy I suggest reading up on cognitive distortion, cognitive behavioural therapy, reframing, and mindfulness.
You may also save significant funds by dropping the Weight Watchers and monitoring your intake through MFP alone.
To recover from burnout you may need a break from ALL commitments for three to six weeks. If you have managed to collect a few hangers on perhaps you can get a note from your doctor proving that you need this break.
Then re-consider all your commitments and only pick up those that contribute to your well-being.
Consider it a mental health reboot.0 -
Moving from total control which is unsustainable to controlled chaos which is where most of us live is more like surfing a wave. Sometimes life overwhelms but starting again is as easy as getting back on the board.
Asking life to be as straight and predictable as a train ride means dynamiting any mountains in the way, laying track, pounding nails...way too much investment for everyday folks.0 -
VintageFeline wrote: »This is incredibly frustrating to read. It does seem you want permission to quit because you shoot down everything everyone suggests. So do it, just quit.
Orrrr, stop being hung up about making sure your plate is half full of veggies at every meal. Use some of the skills you absolutely have to have learned in all these years of weighing and measuring to eyeball reasonable portions. It's not like you're 4'1 with 5lbs to lose and therefore have tiny margins of error to play with. I eat out reasonably regularly and still lose.
It seems you are putting up barriers that don't actually exist to excuse yourself from continuing. You've lost 20lbs since October, that's a great achievement so you are able to lose at a good pace. You could just relax about eating with friends, maybe you'll lose a little slower but you'll still lose. There are people with all kinds of lifestyles who are able to lose and maintain but they don't make excuses for every single little thing for years on end.
All of this. I'm one that has seen your excuse filled posts many times over the years OP. Obsessing over weight loss and your social life and all the anxiety it causes you does not sound like it would be enjoyable. You either need to find a way to let go of some of these obsessions and figure out how to work your weight loss into your lifestyle, or you need to see a counselor to deal with it. You said you filled out an eating disorder survey but I think you need to talk to a professional about your day to day anxiety about life. Is it only weight loss that you obsess about? What about your studies, your job, etc? Regardless, you are young and this is not normal or healthy to have this much anxiety.
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You have been given good advice here at MFP and the WW message boards consider seeking professional help, learn to eyeball portions of food you eat at get together so you can log, step away from dieting etc. I hope you can find a path that works for you.0
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nutmegoreo wrote: »I'm not sure how stretching will help, but I'll try stretching more. I can't get into the meditation aspect of yoga because that aspect of taking a yoga class conflicts with my religious beliefs.
This is really interesting to me. I was in Thailand learning about meditation over the summer. Although it was at a Buddhist temple, Buddhism wasn't a big part of the teachings. Mindfulness was a big part of the teachings though. It's interesting that your religion forbids meditation, but mindfulness is acceptable (I'm guess, because you said that you were reading about mindful eating). I'm not questioning what you are saying, just stating that from my experiences, I find this fascinating.I've tried OA many times. I don't see the point. Granted, I only tried the online meetings because they seemed less intimidating. You aren't allowed to use full sentences (at least in the meetings I've been to), and there's never any feedback given. I feel like it's a bunch of robots echoing each other: "tyfs" "relates" "hugs". I'll give it another go around though.
I'm just tired of feeling out of control if I can't cook, weigh, and measure my food AND even trying to do something less daunting like writing down what I eat without worrying about measurements/numbers is STILL stressing me out.
And this is why you need professional help.
Well, the hospitalization I obviously need isn't in the budget right now.
I didn't mention hospitalization? There's alot of out-patient resources out there. You should visit the link I provided you earlier.
I did. I took the online screening and I'm not at risk for disordered eating. I don't have anorexia or bulimia, and I don't go on traditional binges.
I've tried little things like intermittent fasting, but even on the rare occasions that I was able to combine it with sticking to a calorie goal, I gained weight in the process. Plus, my schedule doesn't allow me to eat meals at the same time every day. Some days, lunch is at noon. Other days, it's closer to 4pm, and that's not likely to change anytime soon.
From their website:
" Call our toll free, confidential Helpline at 1-800-931-2237
We are here every Monday-Thursday from 9:00 am - 9:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am - 5:00 pm (EST). Our helpline volunteers will be there to offer support and guidance with compassion and understanding."
Just because you don't fit in with Anorexia, Bulimia or BED, doesn't mean you don't need help or have an disordered thinking. Call the number, tell them your problem and they'll direct you to the appropriate resources.0
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