Celibacy for a set amount of time

strozman
strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
edited December 19 in Chit-Chat
Thinking I might try this to clear my head. Any high sex drive people in here ever voluntarily go celibate for any significant amount of time (6 months-1yr)? And I mean voluntarily because you have a few options, not just some awkward FA, deployed, never tries or a person that is scared of rejection.

If so how did you not become angry and mean during that period?

Your thoughts gents and lasses?
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Replies

  • sindirella21
    sindirella21 Posts: 60 Member
    But it's exercise. I'm pretty sure I'd end up ripping someone's face off after about 2 weeks.
  • InfoomaousTete
    InfoomaousTete Posts: 1,383 Member
    Are you talking just joint efforts or are you restricting self ventures as well??

    Because hell to the NO!
  • JessicaJS23
    JessicaJS23 Posts: 1,863 Member
    My ex boyfriend was going through a lengthy legal battle to win custody of his kids and he informed me that he was going to remain celibate so he could focus at the time. It was frustrating for me but I respected it. He lasted about 3 months. Once he knew things were going to go in his favor it was game on again. Me having to lay there every night and behave myself wasn't so bad. I focused on things like how to use subliminal messages to make him cave ;)
  • InfoomaousTete
    InfoomaousTete Posts: 1,383 Member
    sindirella21 wrote: »
    But it's exercise. I'm pretty sure I'd end up ripping someone's face off after about 2 weeks.

    ^This!! I've been in a faithful and monogamous relationship for 24 years...minus medically induced time off...I don't think I could even make it two weeks! He married a highly sexual person, I don't think he's minded all these years...haha.
    JessicaJS23 wrote: »
    Me having to lay there every night and behave myself wasn't so bad. I focused on things like how to use subliminal messages to make him cave ;)

    Lol, at least you were proactive and way stronger than I could have been, so kudos to you!
  • JessicaJS23
    JessicaJS23 Posts: 1,863 Member
    strozman wrote: »
    Thanks for the replies. I seem to get cranky with a week off. Just thinking out loud. Wondering if others had tried the same thing to stop cluttering their life with people who aren't good for them.

    That sounds like a good reason to do it. It's probably like giving up anything else where the first few weeks are difficult but it's smooth sailing after that.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
    edited May 2016
    I've gone a year here and there, but not usually due to self discipline, more because I was single and picky. Been living in sin with hubby for more than 20 years now tho, and I wouldn't even dream of putting either of us through that...lol..There have been times when one of us was sick for more than a week or two, and those were miserable, lonely weeks without lovin!! WHY would you want to? If you want to have control over self, don't eat the ice cream, DO get up early and workout...but for the love of all that is beautiful, DONT give up sex!!!!
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    JessicaJS23 wrote: »
    strozman wrote: »
    Thanks for the replies. I seem to get cranky with a week off. Just thinking out loud. Wondering if others had tried the same thing to stop cluttering their life with people who aren't good for them.

    That sounds like a good reason to do it. It's probably like giving up anything else where the first few weeks are difficult but it's smooth sailing after that.

    I seriously doubt I'll be able to make him more than a month. I just don't know what else brings so much chaos into my life. Maybe I'll try meditation or something before I jump on the celibacy thing
  • JessicaJS23
    JessicaJS23 Posts: 1,863 Member
    JustMissTracy wrote: »
    I've gone a year here and there, but not usually due to self discipline, more because I was single and picky. Been living in sin with hubby for more than 20 years now tho, and I wouldn't even dream of putting either of us through that...lol..There have been times when one of us was sick for more than a week or two, and those were miserable, lonely weeks without lovin!! WHY would you want to? If you want to have control over self, don't eat the ice cream, DO get up early and workout...but for the love of all that is beautiful, DONT give up sex!!!!

    Some people tend to put a lot of emotion into it even if they aren't meaning too and when your carrying on with people who aren't the best for you it can leave you feeling bad. So I'd say give it up like anything that might be toxic to you until you can control it and are happy with it.
  • JessicaJS23
    JessicaJS23 Posts: 1,863 Member
    JustMissTracy wrote: »
    I've gone a year here and there, but not usually due to self discipline, more because I was single and picky. Been living in sin with hubby for more than 20 years now tho, and I wouldn't even dream of putting either of us through that...lol..There have been times when one of us was sick for more than a week or two, and those were miserable, lonely weeks without lovin!! WHY would you want to? If you want to have control over self, don't eat the ice cream, DO get up early and workout...but for the love of all that is beautiful, DONT give up sex!!!!

    Some people tend to put a lot of emotion into it even if they aren't meaning too and when your carrying on with people who aren't the best for you it can leave you feeling bad. So I'd say give it up like anything that might be toxic to you until you can control it and are happy with it.
  • Unknown
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  • alltheabove198
    alltheabove198 Posts: 2 Member
    Yeah,After being used for sex I refuse to have sex with any man unless we are in a serious relationship. Before I watched porn several times a day, casual sex. At some point it feels so empty, I'm so much happier when I'm celibate.
  • jgkoutr
    jgkoutr Posts: 8,105 Member
    I went w/o for two weeks..didn't go well...out of frustration slept w ex
  • tessalynn37
    tessalynn37 Posts: 76 Member
    Everyone enjoys sex, but it's not going to kill you if you don't have it. I know exactly what you are talking about and I think you should try celibacy for a while. Maybe if you go without it for a while it will become more meaningful for you once you start having it again.
    Just focus your time and thoughts on other things. Don't let sex define who you are or complicate your life. :)
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    Well. Celibacy was kind of forced tonight. Ended up going for lots of drinks and the girl I was with passed out when we got back to her place. Easy 2nd night of celibacy.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    alltheabove198 wrote: »
    Yeah,After being used for sex I refuse to have sex with any man unless we are in a serious relationship. Before I watched porn several times a day, casual sex. At some point it feels so empty, I'm so much happier when I'm celibate.

    @alltheabove198 it's way easier for a woman to dictate sexual terms in a beginning relationship than it is for a man. I'm glad to hear you are happier celibate
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    ClubSilencio wrote: »
    You'll have to channel that energy to other activities.

    'Sexual transmutation' is the term used in the spiritual world.

    If you think you'll unlock benefits by simply committing to celibacy, it won't happen. You might find yourself following women around the makeup aisle at Target and that's not cool.

    Gotta dedicate yourself to becoming a better person. Reading, watching educational programs, hiking, walking, dancing, knitting, meditating. Should be a time for self-enrichment.

    Also, removing the sexual stimulation that is so prevalent nowadays will help facilitate the process. That's why monks have an easier time remaining celibate--- they don't do kitten all day but walk around a forest, meditate, and eat. You'll want to withdraw from social media, get your weather from your phone instead of the local busty meteorologist, go to the gym during dead hours (too many pheromones in the air otherwise), and delete all attractive MFP friends. You can re-introduce these things later and it'll be a cakewalk because your mind will now be functioning like the movie Avatar. Frequencies that even NASA couldn't tap into.

    Good luck! Keep a diary!




    Thanks for the info. I'm going to read up on it
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    jgkoutr wrote: »
    I went w/o for two weeks..didn't go well...out of frustration slept w ex

    That's the fear, I turn into a raging monster at 10 days
  • Justpeachy02
    Justpeachy02 Posts: 11,817 Member
    strozman wrote: »
    Well. Celibacy was kind of forced tonight. Ended up going for lots of drinks and the girl I was with passed out when we got back to her place. Easy 2nd night of celibacy.

    This made me laugh out loud

    What sucks is when celibacy is forced upon you unwillingly :D
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    I did for over a year while going through my divorce.
    I wanted to focus on my kids who resided with me as welll to simplify my life.
    It was a good thing at the time.
  • Justpeachy02
    Justpeachy02 Posts: 11,817 Member
    Chieflrg wrote: »
    I did for over a year while going through my divorce.
    I wanted to focus on my kids who resided with me as welll to simplify my life.
    It was a good thing at the time.

    Good for you!
    I didn't even know there was a man in the world that would choose to do this
  • AliciaFK
    AliciaFK Posts: 71 Member
    When you know you can't have it but you're partner is still there next to you for example your partner is doing it for religious or sport reasons it is so difficult to refrain, it makes you want it even more. However my partner has been out of the country for 2 weeks & I didn't even let myself think about it although I think it wa different for him he kept saying it was the first thing we were doing when he got back
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    Chieflrg wrote: »
    I did for over a year while going through my divorce.
    I wanted to focus on my kids who resided with me as welll to simplify my life.
    It was a good thing at the time.

    I never took time off. Just kind of went on a rampage after my ex and I split. Nice to hear that it simplified your life.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    AliciaFK wrote: »
    When you know you can't have it but you're partner is still there next to you for example your partner is doing it for religious or sport reasons it is so difficult to refrain, it makes you want it even more. However my partner has been out of the country for 2 weeks & I didn't even let myself think about it although I think it wa different for him he kept saying it was the first thing we were doing when he got back

    I don't have any long term prospects in my life, but I do understand that kind of waiting. I deployed a few times in my lifexperience and was without for long periods of time.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    Justpeachy02 wrote: »
    strozman wrote: »
    Well. Celibacy was kind of forced tonight. Ended up going for lots of drinks and the girl I was with passed out when we got back to her place. Easy 2nd night of celibacy.

    This made me laugh out loud

    What sucks is when celibacy is forced upon you unwillingly :D
    Just a random hookup that didn't work out, and I didn't push the issue either. Just snuck out without a word this morning
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