Celibacy for a set amount of time
Thinking I might try this to clear my head. Any high sex drive people in here ever voluntarily go celibate for any significant amount of time (6 months-1yr)? And I mean voluntarily because you have a few options, not just some awkward FA, deployed, never tries or a person that is scared of rejection.
If so how did you not become angry and mean during that period?
Your thoughts gents and lasses?
If so how did you not become angry and mean during that period?
Your thoughts gents and lasses?
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Replies
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Why would you do that ?6
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clairelouisekaa wrote: »Why would you do that ?
Exercising self control. It can do wonders for your life.
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Thinking I might try this to clear my head. Any high sex drive people in here ever voluntarily go celibate for any significant amount of time (6 months-1yr)? And I mean voluntarily because you have a few options, not just some awkward FA, deployed, never tries or a person that is scared of rejection.
If so how did you not become angry and mean during that period?
Your thoughts gents and lasses?
I have at times had periods of years in between partners and its really not that bad. After a while the feelings of got to have it all the time dwindle and you can focus more on really important things in your life.7 -
But it's exercise. I'm pretty sure I'd end up ripping someone's face off after about 2 weeks.1
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Are you talking just joint efforts or are you restricting self ventures as well??
Because hell to the NO!3 -
My ex boyfriend was going through a lengthy legal battle to win custody of his kids and he informed me that he was going to remain celibate so he could focus at the time. It was frustrating for me but I respected it. He lasted about 3 months. Once he knew things were going to go in his favor it was game on again. Me having to lay there every night and behave myself wasn't so bad. I focused on things like how to use subliminal messages to make him cave
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Thanks for the replies. I seem to get cranky with a week off. Just thinking out loud. Wondering if others had tried the same thing to stop cluttering their life with people who aren't good for them.5
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sindirella21 wrote: »But it's exercise. I'm pretty sure I'd end up ripping someone's face off after about 2 weeks.
^This!! I've been in a faithful and monogamous relationship for 24 years...minus medically induced time off...I don't think I could even make it two weeks! He married a highly sexual person, I don't think he's minded all these years...haha.JessicaJS23 wrote: »Me having to lay there every night and behave myself wasn't so bad. I focused on things like how to use subliminal messages to make him cave
Lol, at least you were proactive and way stronger than I could have been, so kudos to you!
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Thanks for the replies. I seem to get cranky with a week off. Just thinking out loud. Wondering if others had tried the same thing to stop cluttering their life with people who aren't good for them.
That sounds like a good reason to do it. It's probably like giving up anything else where the first few weeks are difficult but it's smooth sailing after that.
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I've gone a year here and there, but not usually due to self discipline, more because I was single and picky. Been living in sin with hubby for more than 20 years now tho, and I wouldn't even dream of putting either of us through that...lol..There have been times when one of us was sick for more than a week or two, and those were miserable, lonely weeks without lovin!! WHY would you want to? If you want to have control over self, don't eat the ice cream, DO get up early and workout...but for the love of all that is beautiful, DONT give up sex!!!!1
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JessicaJS23 wrote: »Thanks for the replies. I seem to get cranky with a week off. Just thinking out loud. Wondering if others had tried the same thing to stop cluttering their life with people who aren't good for them.
That sounds like a good reason to do it. It's probably like giving up anything else where the first few weeks are difficult but it's smooth sailing after that.
I seriously doubt I'll be able to make him more than a month. I just don't know what else brings so much chaos into my life. Maybe I'll try meditation or something before I jump on the celibacy thing1 -
JessicaJS23 wrote: »Thanks for the replies. I seem to get cranky with a week off. Just thinking out loud. Wondering if others had tried the same thing to stop cluttering their life with people who aren't good for them.
That sounds like a good reason to do it. It's probably like giving up anything else where the first few weeks are difficult but it's smooth sailing after that.
I seriously doubt I'll be able to make him more than a month. I just don't know what else brings so much chaos into my life. Maybe I'll try meditation or something before I jump on the celibacy thing
Pick someone who is good for you and stick to them. If that's not available keep strong until you come across someone. I really do think what your talking about can bring in chaos. Whatever you do give it 100% haha.
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JustMissTracy wrote: »I've gone a year here and there, but not usually due to self discipline, more because I was single and picky. Been living in sin with hubby for more than 20 years now tho, and I wouldn't even dream of putting either of us through that...lol..There have been times when one of us was sick for more than a week or two, and those were miserable, lonely weeks without lovin!! WHY would you want to? If you want to have control over self, don't eat the ice cream, DO get up early and workout...but for the love of all that is beautiful, DONT give up sex!!!!
Some people tend to put a lot of emotion into it even if they aren't meaning too and when your carrying on with people who aren't the best for you it can leave you feeling bad. So I'd say give it up like anything that might be toxic to you until you can control it and are happy with it.
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JustMissTracy wrote: »I've gone a year here and there, but not usually due to self discipline, more because I was single and picky. Been living in sin with hubby for more than 20 years now tho, and I wouldn't even dream of putting either of us through that...lol..There have been times when one of us was sick for more than a week or two, and those were miserable, lonely weeks without lovin!! WHY would you want to? If you want to have control over self, don't eat the ice cream, DO get up early and workout...but for the love of all that is beautiful, DONT give up sex!!!!
Some people tend to put a lot of emotion into it even if they aren't meaning too and when your carrying on with people who aren't the best for you it can leave you feeling bad. So I'd say give it up like anything that might be toxic to you until you can control it and are happy with it.
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You'll have to channel that energy to other activities.
'Sexual transmutation' is the term used in the spiritual world.
If you think you'll unlock benefits by simply committing to celibacy, it won't happen. You might find yourself following women around the makeup aisle at Target and that's not cool.
Gotta dedicate yourself to becoming a better person. Reading, watching educational programs, hiking, walking, dancing, knitting, meditating. Should be a time for self-enrichment.
Also, removing the sexual stimulation that is so prevalent nowadays will help facilitate the process. That's why monks have an easier time remaining celibate--- they don't do kitten all day but walk around a forest, meditate, and eat. You'll want to withdraw from social media, get your weather from your phone instead of the local busty meteorologist, go to the gym during dead hours (too many pheromones in the air otherwise), and delete all attractive MFP friends. You can re-introduce these things later and it'll be a cakewalk because your mind will now be functioning like the movie Avatar. Frequencies that even NASA couldn't tap into.
Good luck! Keep a diary!
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Yeah,After being used for sex I refuse to have sex with any man unless we are in a serious relationship. Before I watched porn several times a day, casual sex. At some point it feels so empty, I'm so much happier when I'm celibate.2
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I went w/o for two weeks..didn't go well...out of frustration slept w ex0
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Everyone enjoys sex, but it's not going to kill you if you don't have it. I know exactly what you are talking about and I think you should try celibacy for a while. Maybe if you go without it for a while it will become more meaningful for you once you start having it again.
Just focus your time and thoughts on other things. Don't let sex define who you are or complicate your life.
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Well. Celibacy was kind of forced tonight. Ended up going for lots of drinks and the girl I was with passed out when we got back to her place. Easy 2nd night of celibacy.2
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alltheabove198 wrote: »Yeah,After being used for sex I refuse to have sex with any man unless we are in a serious relationship. Before I watched porn several times a day, casual sex. At some point it feels so empty, I'm so much happier when I'm celibate.
@alltheabove198 it's way easier for a woman to dictate sexual terms in a beginning relationship than it is for a man. I'm glad to hear you are happier celibate1 -
ClubSilencio wrote: »You'll have to channel that energy to other activities.
'Sexual transmutation' is the term used in the spiritual world.
If you think you'll unlock benefits by simply committing to celibacy, it won't happen. You might find yourself following women around the makeup aisle at Target and that's not cool.
Gotta dedicate yourself to becoming a better person. Reading, watching educational programs, hiking, walking, dancing, knitting, meditating. Should be a time for self-enrichment.
Also, removing the sexual stimulation that is so prevalent nowadays will help facilitate the process. That's why monks have an easier time remaining celibate--- they don't do kitten all day but walk around a forest, meditate, and eat. You'll want to withdraw from social media, get your weather from your phone instead of the local busty meteorologist, go to the gym during dead hours (too many pheromones in the air otherwise), and delete all attractive MFP friends. You can re-introduce these things later and it'll be a cakewalk because your mind will now be functioning like the movie Avatar. Frequencies that even NASA couldn't tap into.
Good luck! Keep a diary!
Thanks for the info. I'm going to read up on it1 -
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I did for over a year while going through my divorce.
I wanted to focus on my kids who resided with me as welll to simplify my life.
It was a good thing at the time.4 -
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When you know you can't have it but you're partner is still there next to you for example your partner is doing it for religious or sport reasons it is so difficult to refrain, it makes you want it even more. However my partner has been out of the country for 2 weeks & I didn't even let myself think about it although I think it wa different for him he kept saying it was the first thing we were doing when he got back0
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I did for over a year while going through my divorce.
I wanted to focus on my kids who resided with me as welll to simplify my life.
It was a good thing at the time.
I never took time off. Just kind of went on a rampage after my ex and I split. Nice to hear that it simplified your life.0 -
When you know you can't have it but you're partner is still there next to you for example your partner is doing it for religious or sport reasons it is so difficult to refrain, it makes you want it even more. However my partner has been out of the country for 2 weeks & I didn't even let myself think about it although I think it wa different for him he kept saying it was the first thing we were doing when he got back
I don't have any long term prospects in my life, but I do understand that kind of waiting. I deployed a few times in my lifexperience and was without for long periods of time.0 -
Just a random hookup that didn't work out, and I didn't push the issue either. Just snuck out without a word this morningJustpeachy02 wrote: »
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