Friends with benefits
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@Cutaway_Collar I have a friend that dated a girl who admitted she thinks the guys part in dating is to pay her bills. She had a fish bowl in her house filled with them. She would ask everyone she dates to pull one at and pay it. She felt the more expensive the bill the more serious the guy was in dating her.0
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kevinf2380 wrote: »@Cutaway_Collar I have a friend that dated a girl who admitted she thinks the guys part in dating is to pay her bills. She had a fish bowl in her house filled with them. She would ask everyone she dates to pull one at and pay it. She felt the more expensive the bill the more serious the guy was in dating her.
Damn. She must have some magical *kitten.4 -
In for magical *kitten*.
I have a lot of money.3 -
For a Magical *kitten* ......
I'll write a bad check (or two).0 -
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Go with the flow haha . Every relationship starts off as casual dating . The more things he does right , the more you will be attracted to him . The more comfortable you get with him , the more time you will want to spend with him .
I'm pretty sure another 6 or 7 weeks from now , you will ask him where is this going and if he really likes you he will want to be your boyfriend . Boom your in a new relationship . Enjoy the dating and relax haha .0 -
your comment is out of context with the OP's request for advice.RavenLibra wrote: »friendships change when you see each other nikked. IF you value the friendship find someone else to git yer ya ya's with...
Because in the history of relationships, no relationship has ever been built after friends saw each other naked.
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OP here. I think i am quite excited to see what happens. I like to live in the moment at times and i want to just let go and have fun (not only the intimate kind) I work hard, take care of my son, pay my bills on time and all on my own. On the rare occasion that i get a break, i just want to enjoy every moment. Thank you all for the advice3
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Just be careful (I mean emotionally, you already know the rest I'm sure), enjoy the experience, expect that it probably won't last forever.0
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I think i might leave the fwb idea alone!1
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how bout screw the ..i mean drop the friends part and just do the benefits part
:P sounds so much easier. just ask for medical history up to date 0 -
RavenLibra wrote: »your comment is out of context with the OP's request for advice.RavenLibra wrote: »friendships change when you see each other nikked. IF you value the friendship find someone else to git yer ya ya's with...
Because in the history of relationships, no relationship has ever been built after friends saw each other naked.
I wasn't referencing the OP. It was in reference to your comment. Your statement, in the way it was presented, implied that the friendship would be ruined if they bumped uglies. I don't think one can make that generalization. I could have used a word other than 'relationship' but I still think your generalization is inaccurate.3 -
RavenLibra wrote: »your comment is out of context with the OP's request for advice.RavenLibra wrote: »friendships change when you see each other nikked. IF you value the friendship find someone else to git yer ya ya's with...
Because in the history of relationships, no relationship has ever been built after friends saw each other naked.
I wasn't referencing the OP. It was in reference to your comment. Your statement, in the way it was presented, implied that the friendship would be ruined if they bumped uglies. I don't think one can make that generalization. I could have used a word other than 'relationship' but I still think your generalization is inaccurate.
We were sleeping together before the friendship turned into what it did - just wanted to point that out1 -
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Steep_Burrito wrote: »drbuzzard91 wrote: »forgive my bluntness but just get dickked out lol go to friggin work on it girl! have amazing sex , mess with a few guys until you are ready to give it another go. No one should feel guilty about having great sex especially after a relatioship ended and you dont want one for a while. Girls especially shouldn't feel bad because of the whole double standards thing.
ThisAnother opinion, don't do it.
You want this person to like you for you, and not only what you do in a bed. You'll feel really bad about yourself when you stop to think about it.
I only know this from a really good friend; I've never done that myself.
Overall, you'll feel bad about yourself in the end, feel like your worth nothing, and believe you're a bad person.
(again, it's everything that friend told me about that. It took a good while to show them their worth everything the universe holds for them).
Don't do it*
Not this....
Don't let anyone tell you how you should or will feel about yourself afterwards. Everyone is different and have different opinions on sex. Experience what you want to experience for yourself. Does it feel good? Then I say do it. But I would stick to just anal so you don't get pregnant. (Just kidding)
I don't even like the word...
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Well this has been fun to read!
From my experience as a girl, I've been in both serious relationships that have lasted over the years and in FWB relationships. (And the fact that I'd been in FWB's in the past never affected my serious relationships or the trust my partner had in me. Every type of relationship has a set of rules, in my book, that are discussed at the beginning. I don't think that having had FWBs would make someone more likely to cheat on their spouse...)
I'd say, the trick is to know exactly what you want and to be in a stable, confident place, mentally.
For example, when I broke up with my high school sweetheart, after 5+ years of being together, I was really messed up. BUT! I knew for sure I didn't wanna get attached, and I also knew that I wanted to have fun (read: sex). A FWB seemed like the best idea to me. It's the same as being with someone but without the commitment. I didn't want to sleep around, I didn't wanna make a fuss out of it, cause drama. I just wanted sex. I met someone and we both agreed it would be great to become FWBs. I don't even think we discussed if we can date other people or not, and to be completely honest with you, I didn't really care if he was. It got complicated when someone broke the rules: we'd agreed on NOT getting serious, and about a month into it, he told me he was falling for me. I didn't feel the same so we broke it off.
I'm happy it happened, it was super fun! We had a great time, he's a great guy and he's definitely gonna make a lucky woman happy one day. I'm sad that he fell for me and I couldn't return the feelings, but it was something I warned him about from the beginning.
--Gosh, I wrote so much! Hopes this helps tho' ^^0 -
I've done it, I'd probably do it again. Only you know how you'll feel. You have to look at yourself in the mirror afterwards. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty, whatever you decide.2
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I had a fwb for about 6 years. It started off as casual dating and I ended up getting back with my ex. Anytime my ex and I were on a break, my fwb is who I would call. Went on for 6 years off and on except he would call and text a lot when I was with my bf so I told him not to contact me unless I did him. Of course I always had the urge to see him when he would call. Turned out being the worst idea ever. My ex ended up ending it with me after finding out all the details of "our situation". Me and my ex were together for 8 years so just imagine him finding out I had a fwb all the times we would fight and break up. We finally ended our fwb about a year ago. I wonder what he's up to nowadays. Btw, I never got emotionally attached because I knew we weren't compatible but I did feel territorable towards him because it was 6 years. Both our closest friends knew about our "situation".
Oh yeah and about a year ago my fwb called out of the blue and wanted to apologize for being the reason my relationship with my ex ended. Really wasn't expecting it but apparently he had a "come to Jesus" moment and I was the first person to come to mind. He felt guilty and then asked to see me lmao I don't think he's changed.0 -
where do I sign up for this?
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I believe that happiness shouldn't be temporary1
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No harm in it, the hard part is finding the right friend for you that gets your situation and knows it will not be forever. You only live once!0
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I made no insinuation that the change would be positive or negative, only that it would change. you assigned a negative connotation. My caution was simply that it would be different going forward. the question begs why would you assume a generic context when I was clearly addressing a specific situation. IF you read the Op's statement or quest for advice it would be obvious that she was making an effort to NOT make an additional emotional investment, merely a physical one.RavenLibra wrote: »your comment is out of context with the OP's request for advice.RavenLibra wrote: »friendships change when you see each other nikked. IF you value the friendship find someone else to git yer ya ya's with...
Because in the history of relationships, no relationship has ever been built after friends saw each other naked.
I wasn't referencing the OP. It was in reference to your comment. Your statement, in the way it was presented, implied that the friendship would be ruined if they bumped uglies. I don't think one can make that generalization. I could have used a word other than 'relationship' but I still think your generalization is inaccurate.
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It can work. I have a super hot friend. We are attracted to each other but don't want a relationship. Hook up now and then.worked..so far1
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LiftingLady5 wrote: »Sometimes in life you get hurt. But you heal and move on. I suppose it might be better to live and experience than to go on being afraid to even take a chance. Life, in some ways, is all about the experiences and the moments. Some of you are free to seize those moments. I say go for it.
Boy Howdy!0 -
TannedTiger wrote: »Women say, just because they aren't putting out as much doesn't mean they don't love you.....which means sex has nothing to do with love. You could still have sex with others, even if in a committed relationship.
Sex and love are two different things, and should be exercised accordingly.
THIS!!!!!!! I hold this thought also and am usually chastised for it - sex and relationships should not be related, in fact, only in the westernized thoughts of the last couple hundred years has sex been relagated to just something in a relationship like marriage.0
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