Did you lose your Lover/Spouse/S.O AFTER you loss weight???

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  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
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    brianbgboy wrote: »
    I will always love her as we have a son together. just not in love with her after all this...

    I don't know what will change. You are going to STILL continue you your healthy lifestyle, and if she hasn't dealt with her own issues, she is going to STILL be jealous or rebellious. Plus if you are just dealing with her because you haven't found the "right" one, then I believe you are setting yourself up! The ball is in your court, I would have a really deep conversation with her before I would allow myself in that situation again. Think about it!
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    Did you lose your Lover/Spouse/S.O AFTER you loss weight???

    No, they just send suggestive messages, then nudes, then cyber (kik or snap) with other people on MFP, fand inally have to delete their account and reappear as just fitness folks in a new account.
  • sfcrocker
    sfcrocker Posts: 163 Member
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    I'm starting to get an unsettling feeling that this is going to happen to me down the road as I watch them do nothing but come home from work and watch six hours of TV and snack while I head out on my bike, hike with the dogs, etc. I hope not, though, but can't be a nag because each person has to decide to become healthy for themselves before they can realize they're also doing it for others.
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
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    Timshel_ wrote: »
    Did you lose your Lover/Spouse/S.O AFTER you loss weight???

    No, they just send suggestive messages, then nudes, then cyber (kik or snap) with other people on MFP, fand inally have to delete their account and reappear as just fitness folks in a new account.
    Oh my. I would love to hear more about this... Wow

  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
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    sfcrocker wrote: »
    I'm starting to get an unsettling feeling that this is going to happen to me down the road as I watch them do nothing but come home from work and watch six hours of TV and snack while I head out on my bike, hike with the dogs, etc. I hope not, though, but can't be a nag because each person has to decide to become healthy for themselves before they can realize they're also doing it for others.
    sfcrocker wrote: »
    I'm starting to get an unsettling feeling that this is going to happen to me down the road as I watch them do nothing but come home from work and watch six hours of TV and snack while I head out on my bike, hike with the dogs, etc. I hope not, though, but can't be a nag because each person has to decide to become healthy for themselves before they can realize they're also doing it for others.

    I hope this doesn't happen to you. Hopefully they will see the good and jump on board. And you are right, being healthy isn't just for yourself, it's for your family as well...
  • brianbgboy
    brianbgboy Posts: 393 Member
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    Shells918 wrote: »
    brianbgboy wrote: »
    I will always love her as we have a son together. just not in love with her after all this...

    Do not settle. You are worth more than that. Be happy, be healthy, be by yourself and the other things will fall into place. Don't settle for not in love when madly in love could be around the corner.
    GOD I HOPE SO! this has been so hard to overcome and im a strong guy! ill hang in there and hope to find that special person!

  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
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    Shells918 wrote: »
    brianbgboy wrote: »
    I will always love her as we have a son together. just not in love with her after all this...

    Do not settle. You are worth more than that. Be happy, be healthy, be by yourself and the other things will fall into place. Don't settle for not in love when madly in love could be around the corner.

    Yasssss! Say that. I couldn't have worded it better!
  • Heartisalonelyhunter
    Heartisalonelyhunter Posts: 786 Member
    edited August 2016
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    brianbgboy wrote: »
    Shells918 wrote: »
    brianbgboy wrote: »
    I will always love her as we have a son together. just not in love with her after all this...

    Do not settle. You are worth more than that. Be happy, be healthy, be by yourself and the other things will fall into place. Don't settle for not in love when madly in love could be around the corner.
    GOD I HOPE SO! this has been so hard to overcome and im a strong guy! ill hang in there and hope to find that special person!

    Yay! I think you will find that person. And there would be nothing worse than faking it with someone you don't love. What a waste of two lives.
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
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    Brian you will find that special person that respect and supports you and ultimately is madly in love with you. And you know what???? You deserve all of that too! Don't settle.
  • Pterod
    Pterod Posts: 131 Member
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    How is everyone feeling/coping? Hope all doing well.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    bearbugbear wrote: »
    How is everyone feeling/coping? Hope all doing well.

    Ugh I had a bad day yesterday. These last couple weeks have been taking a toll on me. I'm stuck home with kids who don't want to do anything that requires walking, and all I want to do is go outside and walk! I have some friends who went hiking/camping this Summer with family and I saw the pictures and I was just jealous - that's what I want to do... but I'm in a family of complete homebuddies who'd rather stay home and play games (or go to busy places like the beach or the waterpark where I go crazy because of all the people). We tried to take the kids hiking and my daughter just screams and wails the whole time (she's... a bit challenging at times). So we gave up (they're adopted - not sure how much is genes or what).

    That's really the main issue here - that was me 3 years ago, but I've changed, and now I'm completely out of touch with my family. I can't breathe. I joined a hiking group a couple weeks ago and the first hike was fantastic.. but it's maybe once a month, weather permitting.... I mean, gosh... all I want to do when my husband gets home is get out of the house (and I'm usually out walking for over an hour in the evening now).

    Only a few more days before school starts at least... so I'll be able to go out for walks again during the day.
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
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    bearbugbear wrote: »
    How is everyone feeling/coping? Hope all doing well.

    heyyyyyy @bearbugbear I'm doing great today. I actually do not have the problem that I posted. I have the opposite issue. My BF is really fit and goes hard in the gym 5-6 times a week. He is really really supportive, and then he will get in this mood of, telling me I should be further along in my journey than I am. And sometimes I believe he doesn't believe that I will actually hit my goal....and then other times he is super supportive. But I know he wishes I will lose weight so I will not be the "big girl" our of our group of friends we hang out with... Sometimes it pisses me off, but If I am REAL with myself, I really really really want to be my ideal weight and look too!
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
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    Francl27 wrote: »
    bearbugbear wrote: »
    How is everyone feeling/coping? Hope all doing well.

    Ugh I had a bad day yesterday. These last couple weeks have been taking a toll on me. I'm stuck home with kids who don't want to do anything that requires walking, and all I want to do is go outside and walk! I have some friends who went hiking/camping this Summer with family and I saw the pictures and I was just jealous - that's what I want to do... but I'm in a family of complete homebuddies who'd rather stay home and play games (or go to busy places like the beach or the waterpark where I go crazy because of all the people). We tried to take the kids hiking and my daughter just screams and wails the whole time (she's... a bit challenging at times). So we gave up (they're adopted - not sure how much is genes or what).

    That's really the main issue here - that was me 3 years ago, but I've changed, and now I'm completely out of touch with my family. I can't breathe. I joined a hiking group a couple weeks ago and the first hike was fantastic.. but it's maybe once a month, weather permitting.... I mean, gosh... all I want to do when my husband gets home is get out of the house (and I'm usually out walking for over an hour in the evening now).

    Only a few more days before school starts at least... so I'll be able to go out for walks again during the day.

    Big hugs to you. How about you all rotate ideas? And tell them when it's your turn you do not want any hissy fits and rants. Each week rotate outings, or pull out of a hat....that way everyone is happy!
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    Francl27 wrote: »
    bearbugbear wrote: »
    How is everyone feeling/coping? Hope all doing well.

    Ugh I had a bad day yesterday. These last couple weeks have been taking a toll on me. I'm stuck home with kids who don't want to do anything that requires walking, and all I want to do is go outside and walk! I have some friends who went hiking/camping this Summer with family and I saw the pictures and I was just jealous - that's what I want to do... but I'm in a family of complete homebuddies who'd rather stay home and play games (or go to busy places like the beach or the waterpark where I go crazy because of all the people). We tried to take the kids hiking and my daughter just screams and wails the whole time (she's... a bit challenging at times). So we gave up (they're adopted - not sure how much is genes or what).

    That's really the main issue here - that was me 3 years ago, but I've changed, and now I'm completely out of touch with my family. I can't breathe. I joined a hiking group a couple weeks ago and the first hike was fantastic.. but it's maybe once a month, weather permitting.... I mean, gosh... all I want to do when my husband gets home is get out of the house (and I'm usually out walking for over an hour in the evening now).

    Only a few more days before school starts at least... so I'll be able to go out for walks again during the day.

    Big hugs to you. How about you all rotate ideas? And tell them when it's your turn you do not want any hissy fits and rants. Each week rotate outings, or pull out of a hat....that way everyone is happy!

    We've tried everything. It doesn't matter, every time we want to do something that she doesn't want to do, she reverts back to a 2yo toddler (she's 8). It just ends up being miserable to all of us. I've just given up, seriously. Plus on week ends my husband always sleeps in and has things to do in the house anyway, or just wants to relax... and I'm ready to go at 8am...

    Thanks for the suggestion though! I do realize that it doesn't have much to do with my husband though - but he's not emotionally supporting me through all this. He doesn't listen to me. Stupid things like me going to the store yesterday, coming back, then telling him I'm going for a walk... I came back 1.5 hour later and it was dark and when I got home he told me he thought I was at the store and was worried I got into an accident or something. It's like I'm a ghost - he has absolutely no clue how miserable I am because he just doesn't listen to me. We just don't talk anymore, it's awkward when we have lunch without the kids... I'm thinking about what it will be like in 10 years when they're in college and I'm just dreading it.

    Probably doesn't help that I don't have anyone in RL to talk to about this stuff though... probably why I'm venting here! But I'd never make enough money to even pay for a babysitter, even less to have my own place, so...
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    bearbugbear wrote: »
    How is everyone feeling/coping? Hope all doing well.

    heyyyyyy @bearbugbear I'm doing great today. I actually do not have the problem that I posted. I have the opposite issue. My BF is really fit and goes hard in the gym 5-6 times a week. He is really really supportive, and then he will get in this mood of, telling me I should be further along in my journey than I am. And sometimes I believe he doesn't believe that I will actually hit my goal....and then other times he is super supportive. But I know he wishes I will lose weight so I will not be the "big girl" our of our group of friends we hang out with... Sometimes it pisses me off, but If I am REAL with myself, I really really really want to be my ideal weight and look too!

    Show him that you can do it! But really... do you want to be with someone who wants you to be thin so he's not ashamed to be seen with you? That sounds horrible.
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
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    Francl27 wrote: »
    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    bearbugbear wrote: »
    How is everyone feeling/coping? Hope all doing well.

    heyyyyyy @bearbugbear I'm doing great today. I actually do not have the problem that I posted. I have the opposite issue. My BF is really fit and goes hard in the gym 5-6 times a week. He is really really supportive, and then he will get in this mood of, telling me I should be further along in my journey than I am. And sometimes I believe he doesn't believe that I will actually hit my goal....and then other times he is super supportive. But I know he wishes I will lose weight so I will not be the "big girl" our of our group of friends we hang out with... Sometimes it pisses me off, but If I am REAL with myself, I really really really want to be my ideal weight and look too!

    Show him that you can do it! But really... do you want to be with someone who wants you to be thin so he's not ashamed to be seen with you? That sounds horrible.

    I thought about this plenty of times. No, I don't want to be with anyone that is ashamed of me. I'm not sure if he is totally ashamed of me, but I think some parts of it is. But I believe a big part of it is that he wants the best for me and is tired of me complaining about it. He feels like if I want it, I should go hard after it. He is a DOER and to him it's all talk. And this is in any area of his life, not just fitness. He feels like if I don't like something, think of a strategy and a goal and make it happen. He is pretty consistent with that philosophy, so I can't really say that he is ashamed of my weight.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    Francl27 wrote: »
    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    bearbugbear wrote: »
    How is everyone feeling/coping? Hope all doing well.

    heyyyyyy @bearbugbear I'm doing great today. I actually do not have the problem that I posted. I have the opposite issue. My BF is really fit and goes hard in the gym 5-6 times a week. He is really really supportive, and then he will get in this mood of, telling me I should be further along in my journey than I am. And sometimes I believe he doesn't believe that I will actually hit my goal....and then other times he is super supportive. But I know he wishes I will lose weight so I will not be the "big girl" our of our group of friends we hang out with... Sometimes it pisses me off, but If I am REAL with myself, I really really really want to be my ideal weight and look too!

    Show him that you can do it! But really... do you want to be with someone who wants you to be thin so he's not ashamed to be seen with you? That sounds horrible.

    I thought about this plenty of times. No, I don't want to be with anyone that is ashamed of me. I'm not sure if he is totally ashamed of me, but I think some parts of it is. But I believe a big part of it is that he wants the best for me and is tired of me complaining about it. He feels like if I want it, I should go hard after it. He is a DOER and to him it's all talk. And this is in any area of his life, not just fitness. He feels like if I don't like something, think of a strategy and a goal and make it happen. He is pretty consistent with that philosophy, so I can't really say that he is ashamed of my weight.

    I can see that too!
  • x_xKarina
    x_xKarina Posts: 219 Member
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    I hope that losing weight will help us. I know my weight is hurting me so bad. It's causing me to have insecurities. When we have sex and I see him looking at me... I don't know. It hurts me. I don't want him to see me naked. I've found myself crying after sex more than a few times.

    I want to feel attractive and I want him to want me. I'm doing this for health and for the career I want. But I want him. I want him to get hard (lol sorry) every time I get naked for him.

    Wow that's a lot off my chest. Please don't troll.

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