Boyfriends standards of weight?

Options
1…1617192122…24

Replies

  • DeficitDuchess
    DeficitDuchess Posts: 3,099 Member
    Options
    Enabling an abuser, means you're an abuser yourself; even if your victim's you!
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    Options
    Leaz947 wrote: »
    ds41980 wrote: »
    I have been following this thread since the beginning and am beginning to think its not real....if it is real the OP has been completely brainwashed and needs deprogramming but it seems to be too late for an intervention so I don't know why she keeps posting and each time posts more unbelievable stuff which brings me back to I don't think its real.

    I feel bad that you feel this way towards me and think that this is fake, I'm not sure what I feel worst about though, being accused of lying or that what I'm telling you guys is supposedly that bad that you are lead to think that.
    Is there a way to change your opinion about me?

    Stop worrying about what others are thinking of you. I learned a long time ago, that what others think of me is none of my business. Worry about yourself.
  • fabulousmo
    fabulousmo Posts: 41 Member
    Options
    "how to drop 70 kgs FAST"
  • H_Ock12
    H_Ock12 Posts: 1,152 Member
    Options
    I would turn the tables on him....find negative things to say about him, his weight, his job, his intelligence, his manhood. Let him see how it feels to be demeaned.
  • Alyssa_Is_LosingIt
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt Posts: 4,696 Member
    Options
    MotherOfSharpei wrote: »
    I would turn the tables on him....find negative things to say about him, his weight, his job, his intelligence, his manhood. Let him see how it feels to be demeaned.

    This has been addressed multiple times in the thread, and the general consensus is that this is dangerous advice.
  • DBrooks1979
    DBrooks1979 Posts: 350 Member
    Options
    @Leaz947 When are you gonna stop worrying about what people think about you.. when are you gonna worry about how you feel about YOURSELF!!!!

    Why besides "LOVE" are you staying with someone who is so rude and abusive and self centered and isn't getting any better.. You say your scared because he is your first real relationship... scared of hurting him if you leave... but he sure doesn't seem scared of losing you or scared of hurting you with his words to you..never apologizes and accepts that he is at fault..

    Please I have said things here but I have also sent you a few messages privately about this... I can give advice but until "YOU" are ready to listen to the advice we are given and ask questions about what is we are saying if you don't understand.. we can't really help you..

    Think about it.. and think about your health and what "YOU" need...
  • Pottsey_x
    Pottsey_x Posts: 84 Member
    Options
    It's sad that you want to change your self and not the situation! There's nothing wrong with your body and to hell if that was my man I'd make HIM change! You want to be bigger than me babe then YOU best get yourself down the gym boy!!!
  • marm1962
    marm1962 Posts: 950 Member
    Options
    I have seen my mother get abused with her second husband and I don't have the patience for the people that allow that crap to keep going on....didn't have the patience with her either and I love her. So, either get out or don't. Plain and simple. Nobody here can convince you to get out, the choice is yours. But if you stay and have children, a little boy will grow up to act like his dad and treat his g/f the same way, and a little girl will grow up to allow men to abuse her and treat her like trash. Have fun and Good luck!
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    Options
    MotherOfSharpei wrote: »
    I would turn the tables on him....find negative things to say about him, his weight, his job, his intelligence, his manhood. Let him see how it feels to be demeaned.

    so the answer is for her to treat him badly right back? she should stoop to his level(which is *kitten* sucking dirt out of a crack low)? this guy would probably hit her or worse, if she were to stoop to that level.treating someone they way they treat you when being abused is definitely NOT the answer. growing a set and getting counseling, and leaving is.men like him dont want a woman("their woman") to have any power,so they break them down little by little,get them away from friends and family and everything else that is familiar,they want women to rely on them and they get a power trip from being "in charge". once you start showing you can stand up for yourself or start "fighting back" it usually escalates into violence. so they can control and break you down more. turning the tables on him is very bad advice and should NOT be followed.
  • born_of_fire74
    born_of_fire74 Posts: 776 Member
    edited November 2016
    Options
    This being your very first relationship is all the more reason to DTMFA (dump the motherkitten already). You have zero perspective on what a relationship should be like. Listen to the people with perspective due to their life experience; the ones telling you a relationship should not be like yours. Seriously, DTMFA.
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
    edited November 2016
    Options
    MotherOfSharpei wrote: »
    I would turn the tables on him....find negative things to say about him, his weight, his job, his intelligence, his manhood. Let him see how it feels to be demeaned.
    goodasgoldilox wrote: »
    You did sound a little lukewarm about his body. What if you began to suggest that he is a little bit light for a real woman? Start being seen with pictures of men with muscles - point out attractive stars with bigger than life bodies. Look at him eating carbs and point out that chicken is what he should stick to!
    Nope, nope, nope...

    A recipe for a punch in the face.
  • KickassAmazon76
    KickassAmazon76 Posts: 4,571 Member
    Options
    Leaz947 wrote: »
    Hi guys! I spoke to him over text about it slightly (I already have done before) and he said that he will treat me however I want when I stop being lazy and when he can mold me into want he wants.
    The molding into what he wants thing started about 4 months ago and is really hard, he says that I'm not putting any effort into us and that I'm selfish and have a small brain just because I don't have knowledge about the world (he is extremely intelligent) he wants me to learn how things work and what things are and I do sometimes but not everyday, I don't want to spend everyday talking about quantum physics, sometimes I just want to relax and talk about nothing or simple things.
    Anyways, to put it simple 3 months ago he started telling me to stop debating things, two months ago he started to tell me that I am not allowed to speak until he is finished and that my opinion isn't valid and whenever I do it he ignores me and walk it of the room or ends the call if we are in a call. If I try to defend myself he calls me a *kitten* and big mouthed and that he doesn't want to be with someone like me yet I can't bring myself to leave him because, despite all this, I hope that he can get better and become who he once was...Does anyone recommend what I can do? Is therapy the only way?

    Get the hell out of there, before he starts beating you or starving you into being skinny.
  • KickassAmazon76
    KickassAmazon76 Posts: 4,571 Member
    Options
    Leaz947 wrote: »
    cheryldumais wrote: »
    If you marry this guy you will be stuck with him and I guarantee he won't get better. You can't DO anything to change him. If you are satisfied with the relationship this is what you will have. I weighed 251 pounds before I got my weight under control and my husband (married 42 years) told me he loved me just the way I was. That's a relationship worth working on. You can do better than a man who is as insecure as he is. Please reconsider.

    So many people are telling me of people like that, which sounds amazing but so much that it kind of seems unreal. I knlw that my current partner isn't the worst one out there and he doesn't physically harm me but what if I try and I end up with someone worse? I'm attached to him, I've been dating him for two years now..

    he doesn't physically harm me YET. His behavior is escalating and fast. I am pretty confident (coming from abusive history) that there will come a point in time where he DOES physically abuse you. At that point, you'll justify it by saying he didn't mean to, or he won't do it again. The damage to your psyche will be so deep - so much deeper than it is now.

    Please get counseling NOW, before the physical abuse starts, so that you find the courage to get out of there.
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
    Options
    Leaz947 wrote: »
    but what if I try and I end up with someone worse? I'm attached to him, I've been dating him for two years now..
    The only way you'll end up with worse is:
    1. You stay with him
    2. You go to your nearest prison, but even then, you may end up with better.

    Enough with the 'what if?' and just leave him. He will not magically be the person who you once knew. Ever.
  • JaydedMiss
    JaydedMiss Posts: 4,286 Member
    Options
    This has to be an attention seeking thing right? You obviously wrote it knowing everyone would say leave him....Theres nothing else anyone can say to that....yet you say you wont leave him right in front post....Wtf are we to do about it when you wont do anything
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 9,988 Member
    Options
    Leaz947 wrote: »
    ds41980 wrote: »
    I have been following this thread since the beginning and am beginning to think its not real....if it is real the OP has been completely brainwashed and needs deprogramming but it seems to be too late for an intervention so I don't know why she keeps posting and each time posts more unbelievable stuff which brings me back to I don't think its real.

    I feel bad that you feel this way towards me and think that this is fake, I'm not sure what I feel worst about though, being accused of lying or that what I'm telling you guys is supposedly that bad that you are lead to think that.
    Is there a way to change your opinion about me?

    You have problems that are orders of magnitude worse than what strangers on the Internet think about you. You should focus you energy on figuring out how to extricate yourself from a disastrous and dangerous relationship. And, honestly, you aren't helping your partner by allowing him to think that people will accept being treated this way. Do you want him to end up in prison for domestic abuse and murder?
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 9,988 Member
    Options
    After reading his texts, I think you have two choices:
    (1) Leave him because he is an abuser and he hates you.
    (2) Leave him because (he says) you're making him miserable. (If you love him so "dearly," why would you want to make him miserable?)

Categories