Done with it!
Replies
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VintageFeline wrote: »There's a few ideas here so bear with me. I think there is a huge knowledge base here BUT I think there's also a lot of people that weigh into medical issues when they don't know what they don't know.
CI<CO is the 'formula' for weight loss, but weight loss and health are linked, yes - but not synonymous.
I work in health care (clinical nurse; irrelevant online) and I cringe at the number of people telling people 'eat whatever you want' so long as the caloric balance is right.
Losing weight alone DOES improve health, but it is not ALL there is to health and I feel that often that message is lost here.
Sure, some people are knowledgeable. Others parrot the same lines without any deeper context and that in itself can be dangerous to a new or uneducated forum user.
This app is after all called 'my fitness pal' not my weight loss pal.
To a degree this can be true but I find it's often because someone hasn't disclosed a medical condition/disclosed all facts pertinent to their query that results in largely generic but helpful advice. If someone does disclose then the advice is more measured and people are directed to clear anything with their medical professional. But CICO still applies to everyone, medical condition or not, safety (from a medical perspective) to currently lose weight or not.
I think the insinuation people are reckless with advice is largely unfair and untrue, as usual with threads like these, I'd love to be provided with evidence. I find it's often an issue of personal interpretation of tone and intent rather than factual inaccuracy.
Maybe it is personal interpretation of tone, but if that's how people are interpreting it maybe people could consider their phrasing.
I think you're missing the point that CI<CO applies for weight loss, but other factors contribute to health.
I have seen numerous threads where a person asks a medical question and people who clearly from their answers, have no medical knowledge try and give 'advice'.
It's not malicious. As I said, people don't know what they don't know.
Others repeat what educated people have said without the background knowledge.
............
I've only ever been a little overweight and been using this app on and off for different goals since 2012. I've only looked into the forums in the last few months. I've seen lots of great, measured advice but also a lot of people repeating rhetoric and giving 'advice' on subjects that they really probably are not qualified to comment on.
I mean sure - it's the Internet - anything goes, but they're is an overwhelming attack of sorts to anyone that points out short fallings of forum content/advices. It has a distinct bully like nature to the casual observer.
.......
I'm off to bed. It's nearly midnight here.
Tone via the written word is applied/implied by the reader, not the writer, though.
I would guess that there's absolutely no way that anyone writing anything could avoid having their intent misinterpreted by some of the people who read it and apply their own interpretation of the 'tone' to it. Especially if the 'offensive' writer was trying to dispel a dearly held viewpoint that the person taking offense holds.
Bottom line? Your suggestion is not possible or practical, I'm afraid. How a person reading a post interprets the "tone" in it is entirely their doing, is based solely on their perspective and sensibilities and therefore the 'blame' cannot automatically rest with the author, who may not have intended it in a negative manner at all.
Yes, there are posts that are deliberately intended to flamebait. Those are patently obvious to all. But so many times on these boards I see honest, helpful responses to questions that have been posted get flamed for being rude and offensive simply because the answer wasn't what the OP wanted to hear.
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crzycatlady1 wrote: »Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »51 year old menopausal woman in maintenance here.
It IS about CICO.
And I believe the variables that influence CI and CO differ for different people.
And different ways of eating affect different folks' success with keeping CO higher than CI.
And, people have different goals when they visit the forums. Most want the number on the scale to go down (some want it to go up). But beyond that, different folks have different goals here.
And, finally, folks are at different points along their life journeys, both in terms of their knowledge about weight loss, and their readiness to lose and MAINTAIN weight loss.
How I approach all of this differs from how many others approach it. That's just reality.
Great post
eta-I think OP may be misunderstanding when people are saying CICO because while yes that's the ultimate bottom line for weight loss, there's all sorts of ways to go about it. I've done IF for years but I rarely bring it up because it's just the tool I use to make CICO work for me.4 -
I am thankful for these forums. In the time I have been here, I have learned so much by reading the types of threads OP is talking about. However, I do not take any of the advice or criticisms to heart. Instead I take what I read here as a springboard to do my own research and determine what is going to work for ME. I have been on so many diets over the years, but what I have learned from these forums (both good and bad) has also put me on track for the first time in my life. I am learning new things about myself, what works and what doesn't, etc.
So, OP.....don't be frustrated by what you read here. It isn't personal (well there is always the small exception of weirdos that make it personal). Instead use the advice and discussions here to cherry pick what is worth researching further and you may surprise yourself along the way with how your views change.
The forums are a resource to use along the way. Not the diet bible.9 -
AngelinaB_ wrote: »It is different for everybody. I have tried CICO alone esting what I want and at some point I feel I also need to control or avoid certain food groups, along with CICO. And the inflammation thingy becomes a problem for many people after 40 but not all. It is a pain in the butt and gets muxh better when avoiding or limiting certain foods. Some ways of eating promotes CICO too at least for me. I know if I eat a lot of starchy carbs specifically breads I get hungrier and want to keep eating whereas if I eat proteins I don't tent to overeat. So, yes. CICO matters, food choices matters, everything matters. But it is different to everybody so
It is not different for everybody when it comes to the mechanics of weight loss-eat at a calorie deficit and you will lose weight every single time.
It is only the process of creating that calorie deficit that is different.9 -
I could NOT agree more. This is not a one size fits all thing at all. Some people do have medical snags that keep it from being as easy as it is for others. When the calories in vs calories out gets complicated is when someones calories are not as easy to get out as others. When a person's BMR is very low even with plenty of exercise it is much more difficult because the calories in that person's allowance are also very low. And that's not always easy to maintain.
When I was in my 20's it seemed like the weight would just fall right off if I gained any. Now twice as old it is definitely not just that easy. I am glad to see this post because there are a LOT of people here who need to learn to understand this very thing.1 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »I'm a 54 year old woman with medical conditions who thinks it's all CICO. Can I comment?
And yeah, I started this whole thing to improve my health. I did that most dramatically losing weight. I was already eating well, I was just eating too much. I'd already been down the road of believing that eating a certain way would save me from myself.
It hadn't worked. The only thing that has worked has been restricting calories. Learning that has led to me easing up on the reigns of my dietary choices a little bit. If I want some candy or cookies every now and then, I have them.
That is the point the muscle bound people are trying to make. Food choice isn't the issue where weight management is concerned. Calorie intake is. If someone wants to undertake a certain way of eating for health issues, that's a separate matter.
^^^^^ This a million times.4 -
What about us decently muscled older men?
mfp's forums are actually very civil compared to some out there on the web, as in VERY civil.
OP, if you decide to come back to browse - just choose who to interact with, use the ignore function and/or report to mods as necessary.
LOL I just let it go.. My wife likes to look at me so I go with that
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I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.10 -
@Izzy62, it's obvious you know that a calorie deficit is required no matter what type of way of eating/dietary plan you choose, so I'm not really sure what you are upset about. I mean, you started a posting here saying the same things that other people say in response to those who believe that a calorie deficit is not required to lose weight. This does not make sense to me.
People don't shoot down ways of eating in general, they counter those people who insinuate (or downright say) that only certain plans work, or certain plans don't work, or the plan a VCLD or unsustainable, and especially those who say they don't know why they are not losing weight when they are eating at a calorie deficit.
Anytime we post in a public forum, we take the chance that other people might not agree with us and will have something to say.
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Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.3 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
Ok, so why CAN'T you have potatoes? Allergy?
And honestly, I'm a psychologist by trade and advise against elimination. That sort of cognitive inflexibility is generally not healthy.
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ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
I've never seen anybody here "not understand that some people can and some really can't" have certain foods or make certain dietary choices. I moderate carbs due to my own medical issues and preferences. I've never been told that is wrong to do. I've extremely limited certain foods due to a tendency to them being so tempting that I have a hard time eating them in moderation and I've never been told that is wrong to do either. Where are you seeing this happen?6 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
There is no can't, unless it's a food allergy or intolerance.
How about some people choose not to eat certain things because they don't have control of their impulse around certain foods?
Food has no power, except for the power we give it.
As a person with an eating disorder years ago, it was only when I stopped telling myself I can't eat certain foods because they were fattening, or not good for me, or whatever, did I realize that I had control over my choice of foods and that I could moderate just fine. It took a lot of work but it's doable, and much more pleasant not to be avoiding food due to my own fears and misconceptions about the mechanics of weight control.13 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
I've never seen anybody here "not understand that some people can and some really can't" have certain foods or make certain dietary choices. I moderate carbs due to my own medical issues and preferences. I've never been told that is wrong to do. I've extremely limited certain foods due to a tendency to them being so tempting that I have a hard time eating them in moderation and I've never been told that is wrong to do either. Where are you seeing this happen?
Same. I also have foods that I eat very rarely. Or items I don't keep in my own house but might have if I'm out. I realize that this is a journey. It is for life. I'm only kidding myself if I don't learn how to appropriately handle temptation. I want to enjoy life, and that includes ice cream, cake, dessert, wine, pizza, etc. I just have to plan my day around it and be more active. And that is ok! But I'm not cool with giving up those things forever. And if I don't learn how to incorporate them into my day now, I'm afraid I won't do that well once I finally get to maintenance.4 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
Never seen that. I've seen people question why someone wants to eliminate something, but never seen anyone say you have to eat a certain way. Two very different things. I think you are reading into it something not there. But feel free to show me a post where someone is told they must eat everything.
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Skyblueyellow wrote: »ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
Ok, so why CAN'T you have potatoes? Allergy?
And honestly, I'm a psychologist by trade and advise against elimination. That sort of cognitive inflexibility is generally not healthy.
Did I say "ME"? I said SOME people., Because YOU can doesn't mean everyone can. You are now doing an excellent job of proving my point. Step back and think a little before assuming we all came out of a cookie cutter and are therefore all exactly alike 100%. Not everyone can follow YOUR diet and be successful. Which is the original point of this whole thread. If someone finds something that works very well and it happens to be different from what works for you why do you care? I would rather people get there in what ever way works for them than to keep doing what is holding them down.2 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
"Can't" means something like--"allergic to", or "has a medical problem with". The rest is choice. If you choose to eliminate a food or foods that's just fine, but the media is pushing people that don't have that need toward elimination. THIS is the problem. How many threads are running now --"I'm eliminating sugar"! "I'm eliminating carbs"! "I'm going vegan"! etc, etc, etc,....... Most are unnecessary, and the OP should know it. They are posting. Why not do it in secret, instead of announcing it to the world with great fanfare? If you post, you get people pro and contro. Lurk a bit, see who has ideas you like, and then friend request.6 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
I've never seen anybody here "not understand that some people can and some really can't" have certain foods or make certain dietary choices. I moderate carbs due to my own medical issues and preferences. I've never been told that is wrong to do. I've extremely limited certain foods due to a tendency to them being so tempting that I have a hard time eating them in moderation and I've never been told that is wrong to do either. Where are you seeing this happen?
I see it all the time. Every time I come in here actually. The robotic comments. People spit them out like gumballs from a 2 cent machine. No thought or consideration. Just the same old recycled and beat up lines.2 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
Ok, so why CAN'T you have potatoes? Allergy?
And honestly, I'm a psychologist by trade and advise against elimination. That sort of cognitive inflexibility is generally not healthy.
Did I say "ME"? I said SOME people., Because YOU can doesn't mean everyone can. You are now doing an excellent job of proving my point. Step back and think a little before assuming we all came out of a cookie cutter and are therefore all exactly alike 100%. Not everyone can follow YOUR diet and be successful. Which is the original point of this whole thread. If someone finds something that works very well and it happens to be different from what works for you why do you care? I would rather people get there in what ever way works for them than to keep doing what is holding them down.
What people CAN do and what people CHOOSE to do are often two different things.
Yes, we are all different. But many people erroneously believe that they CAN'T have something because of random internet advice. If you carefully read my original statement, I used the phrase "erroneously believe", which means that their thinking is not correct because they actually CAN have that. Obviously it does not apply to you if you truly cannot have an item due to an allergy or intolerance.
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Tacklewasher wrote: »ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
Never seen that. I've seen people question why someone wants to eliminate something, but never seen anyone say you have to eat a certain way. Two very different things. I think you are reading into it something not there. But feel free to show me a post where someone is told they must eat everything.
I have to agree with this. In the threads I have read, when a person has a legit reason for eliminating something like diabetes, celiac, lactose intolerance, IBS, etc., generally people do not argue with them.
The only time I see people suggest that others reconsider their choice is when the person is eliminating "just because". I think there are some valid arguments to be had in these situations. There are people out there that truly believe they have to eliminate x, y, and z and they don't even have an understanding of why. That is when the questions start.8 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
Ok, so why CAN'T you have potatoes? Allergy?
And honestly, I'm a psychologist by trade and advise against elimination. That sort of cognitive inflexibility is generally not healthy.
Did I say "ME"? I said SOME people., Because YOU can doesn't mean everyone can. You are now doing an excellent job of proving my point. Step back and think a little before assuming we all came out of a cookie cutter and are therefore all exactly alike 100%. Not everyone can follow YOUR diet and be successful. Which is the original point of this whole thread. If someone finds something that works very well and it happens to be different from what works for you why do you care? I would rather people get there in what ever way works for them than to keep doing what is holding them down.
and you are missing the point.
If people can't have certain foods due to medical reasons then no one that I have ever seen has berated them for it ever.
Or Even if they choose to not eat certain foods for ethical reasons...no one berates them.
or if someone say I choose to not eat this because I am an adult and I prefer it that way they are told okay that's your choice, doesn't make sense to me but have at...
but if someone thinks they can't eat a potato because it's a white carb they get corrected...and if someone insists that they can't because white carbs are unhealthy and cause weight gain then they get corrected sternly...and if someone continues to insist than yah the gifs start and they get made fun of a bit ....
you will probably see that here if people continue to insist their point is the only correct one...*coughs*20 -
MelanieCN77 wrote: »I actually agree in the sense that people should think about their tone - just because a veteran user of the forums has heard xyz a hundred times before doesn't give them the right to talk to people like they are idiots. I like to eat fresh prepared food from fresh ingredients and I think it's healthier for me to snack on an apple instead of cheetos but that opinion just gets scorned and patronized. It's so reductionist it's almost comical. I'd like to see newcomers with questions about cleanses or sugar or whatever treated gently and with respect, not this sneering three word answer rudeness that comes so often now.
I eat a primarily whole foods based diet...I've been here for over four years...I've never been scorned and patronized. I also don't preach that other people should be doing what I do which is what usually gets the flack.
Telling new comers that cleanses are bunk isn't being "mean" or whatever...it's giving them facts.8 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
Ok, so why CAN'T you have potatoes? Allergy?
And honestly, I'm a psychologist by trade and advise against elimination. That sort of cognitive inflexibility is generally not healthy.
Did I say "ME"? I said SOME people., Because YOU can doesn't mean everyone can. You are now doing an excellent job of proving my point. Step back and think a little before assuming we all came out of a cookie cutter and are therefore all exactly alike 100%. Not everyone can follow YOUR diet and be successful. Which is the original point of this whole thread. If someone finds something that works very well and it happens to be different from what works for you why do you care? I would rather people get there in what ever way works for them than to keep doing what is holding them down.
and you are missing the point.
If people can't have certain foods due to medical reasons then no one that I have ever seen has berated them for it ever.
Or Even if they choose to not eat certain foods for ethical reasons...no one berates them.
or if someone say I choose to not eat this because I am an adult and I prefer it that way they are told okay that's your choice, doesn't make sense to me but have at...
but if someone thinks they can't eat a potato because it's a white carb they get corrected...and if someone insists that they can't because white carbs are unhealthy and cause weight gain then they get corrected sternly...and if someone continues to insist than yah the gifs start and they get made fun of a bit ....
you will probably see that here if people continue to insist their point is the only correct one...*coughs*
So much this!1 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
Most people here do understand that...but a crap ton of people are doing elimination diets because they simply read an article about how carbs are bad and they shouldn't eat them and so they go about some crazy elimination diet that leaves them miserable for no reason.
Over the past probably 10 years or so, we've seen the diet fad move from moderating carbs to lower carbs to extremely low levels of carbs (keto) which really isn't necessary for the vast majority of people outside of a few very specific medical conditions. Type II diabetics don't even have to keto, but sometimes reading these forums, you'd think they do...most type II diabetics do just fine going to a more whole foods based diet and eating less crap, moderating carbohydrate intake (and making better choices in regards to their carbs), moving more, and dropping weight.10 -
Generally, when I tell people something like "CICO is all that matters", it is because:
1. The OP believes that they have to eat nothing but clean/low carb/non-processed foods.
2. The OP is miserable with their current diet because it is too restrictive and they are asking for advice on how to cope.
3. The OP was given advice by their doctor that has no real basis in nutrition and the doctor just believes it would be the easiest way for the OP to lower calorie intake.
People should achieve their calorie deficit in any way that they wish. I just dispel the myths that state you are required to eat a certain way, because you're not. Eat what you like in a deficit and you will lose - if what you like to eat is LCHF, go for it. If you're vegan, go for it. If you like to eat minimally processed foods, go for it. IIFYM/flexible dieting? Sure, go for it.
But don't come into the forums claiming it is the One True Way or the "best way." Because it's not.
There is no one size fits all.9 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »I could NOT agree more. This is not a one size fits all thing at all. Some people do have medical snags that keep it from being as easy as it is for others. When the calories in vs calories out gets complicated is when someones calories are not as easy to get out as others. When a person's BMR is very low even with plenty of exercise it is much more difficult because the calories in that person's allowance are also very low. And that's not always easy to maintain.
When I was in my 20's it seemed like the weight would just fall right off if I gained any. Now twice as old it is definitely not just that easy. I am glad to see this post because there are a LOT of people here who need to learn to understand this very thing.
People do understand this.
What I think you don't understand is that how you feel about exercise is largely coloring your perception of how difficult this all is for you.
I feel like this has been relatively easy for me, compared to past efforts (where I wasn't exercising more than walks which were built into my commute when I was younger and still working). Two things have played a part in this. The most important being that I had a reasonable expectation of the rate of weight loss considering my height and age and the amount of deficit I was able to create. The second being that I found I enjoyed the exercise I started doing.
I started out walking out with a cane and now run at least 3 miles a day 6 days a week and lift weights 3 times a week. My weekly step count average per day is hovering around 21K. None of this is hard for me to get, but i built up to it slowly and it's all just become part of my life.
I might slow down when it comes time to maintain, I might enjoy having a high TDEE. I don't know.6 -
There is no one size fits all. ... only in onesees 0
-
I am a 54 year old menopausal woman, who came here 4 years ago, for yet another attempt to lose weight. I am a college graduate, I think I'm relatively smart, and had no clue how to actually do it. I had tried every diet under the sun for almost 20 years. I started reading these forums and heard the Acronym CICO for the first time. It made sense, like a simple math equation. I can't hardly express how wonderful it was when I realized that all I had to do was count my calories and eat less than I burn and I would lose weight. Even better, I didn't have to restrict anything! It was a gift, and I learned it here on these forums.
Yes, sometimes, people are very blunt on here, personally I am glad for it. Yes, it is all about the calorie count, how you get to those calories is a personal choice. No I don't eat in what some (many) would call healthfully, lots of chips and not many veggies. I am so much healthier than I was when I was morbidly obese with high blood pressure.
I say, thank you random forum people, you entertain and educate me daily.24 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
And it's fine if they can't, but questioning it isn't disrespecting them, it's simply asking a question.
And the act of asking that question comes from experience, in most cases. A lot of the time, people have had the experience of restricting foods leading to diet failure because it was not a fully informed, sustainable choice.
People in the diet industry wrap a lot of scary sounding claims around selling people on the idea of why they should be eating certain ways to convince them to buy books. And a lot of those claims are patently false. Some people come to these forums with information they've heard from people who've read those books or that has been passed along like the telephone game in social media, and there's no real understanding behind their decision to do what they planned -- they just think they have to do xyz to lose weight.
There is no harm in asking. It's not an insult to inform them they don't have to. It's not an insult to inform them cutting whole food groups or eating a certain way isn't the way weight loss works.
As a poster said upstream, informed choices are good things.4 -
New here. Not up on the acronyms. What the hell is CICO? Thanks, and sorry for the stupid question!0
This discussion has been closed.
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