Done with it!
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ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
Ok, so why CAN'T you have potatoes? Allergy?
And honestly, I'm a psychologist by trade and advise against elimination. That sort of cognitive inflexibility is generally not healthy.
Did I say "ME"? I said SOME people., Because YOU can doesn't mean everyone can. You are now doing an excellent job of proving my point. Step back and think a little before assuming we all came out of a cookie cutter and are therefore all exactly alike 100%. Not everyone can follow YOUR diet and be successful. Which is the original point of this whole thread. If someone finds something that works very well and it happens to be different from what works for you why do you care? I would rather people get there in what ever way works for them than to keep doing what is holding them down.
and you are missing the point.
If people can't have certain foods due to medical reasons then no one that I have ever seen has berated them for it ever.
Or Even if they choose to not eat certain foods for ethical reasons...no one berates them.
or if someone say I choose to not eat this because I am an adult and I prefer it that way they are told okay that's your choice, doesn't make sense to me but have at...
but if someone thinks they can't eat a potato because it's a white carb they get corrected...and if someone insists that they can't because white carbs are unhealthy and cause weight gain then they get corrected sternly...and if someone continues to insist than yah the gifs start and they get made fun of a bit ....
you will probably see that here if people continue to insist their point is the only correct one...*coughs*20 -
MelanieCN77 wrote: »I actually agree in the sense that people should think about their tone - just because a veteran user of the forums has heard xyz a hundred times before doesn't give them the right to talk to people like they are idiots. I like to eat fresh prepared food from fresh ingredients and I think it's healthier for me to snack on an apple instead of cheetos but that opinion just gets scorned and patronized. It's so reductionist it's almost comical. I'd like to see newcomers with questions about cleanses or sugar or whatever treated gently and with respect, not this sneering three word answer rudeness that comes so often now.
I eat a primarily whole foods based diet...I've been here for over four years...I've never been scorned and patronized. I also don't preach that other people should be doing what I do which is what usually gets the flack.
Telling new comers that cleanses are bunk isn't being "mean" or whatever...it's giving them facts.8 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
Ok, so why CAN'T you have potatoes? Allergy?
And honestly, I'm a psychologist by trade and advise against elimination. That sort of cognitive inflexibility is generally not healthy.
Did I say "ME"? I said SOME people., Because YOU can doesn't mean everyone can. You are now doing an excellent job of proving my point. Step back and think a little before assuming we all came out of a cookie cutter and are therefore all exactly alike 100%. Not everyone can follow YOUR diet and be successful. Which is the original point of this whole thread. If someone finds something that works very well and it happens to be different from what works for you why do you care? I would rather people get there in what ever way works for them than to keep doing what is holding them down.
and you are missing the point.
If people can't have certain foods due to medical reasons then no one that I have ever seen has berated them for it ever.
Or Even if they choose to not eat certain foods for ethical reasons...no one berates them.
or if someone say I choose to not eat this because I am an adult and I prefer it that way they are told okay that's your choice, doesn't make sense to me but have at...
but if someone thinks they can't eat a potato because it's a white carb they get corrected...and if someone insists that they can't because white carbs are unhealthy and cause weight gain then they get corrected sternly...and if someone continues to insist than yah the gifs start and they get made fun of a bit ....
you will probably see that here if people continue to insist their point is the only correct one...*coughs*
So much this!1 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
Most people here do understand that...but a crap ton of people are doing elimination diets because they simply read an article about how carbs are bad and they shouldn't eat them and so they go about some crazy elimination diet that leaves them miserable for no reason.
Over the past probably 10 years or so, we've seen the diet fad move from moderating carbs to lower carbs to extremely low levels of carbs (keto) which really isn't necessary for the vast majority of people outside of a few very specific medical conditions. Type II diabetics don't even have to keto, but sometimes reading these forums, you'd think they do...most type II diabetics do just fine going to a more whole foods based diet and eating less crap, moderating carbohydrate intake (and making better choices in regards to their carbs), moving more, and dropping weight.10 -
Generally, when I tell people something like "CICO is all that matters", it is because:
1. The OP believes that they have to eat nothing but clean/low carb/non-processed foods.
2. The OP is miserable with their current diet because it is too restrictive and they are asking for advice on how to cope.
3. The OP was given advice by their doctor that has no real basis in nutrition and the doctor just believes it would be the easiest way for the OP to lower calorie intake.
People should achieve their calorie deficit in any way that they wish. I just dispel the myths that state you are required to eat a certain way, because you're not. Eat what you like in a deficit and you will lose - if what you like to eat is LCHF, go for it. If you're vegan, go for it. If you like to eat minimally processed foods, go for it. IIFYM/flexible dieting? Sure, go for it.
But don't come into the forums claiming it is the One True Way or the "best way." Because it's not.
There is no one size fits all.9 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »I could NOT agree more. This is not a one size fits all thing at all. Some people do have medical snags that keep it from being as easy as it is for others. When the calories in vs calories out gets complicated is when someones calories are not as easy to get out as others. When a person's BMR is very low even with plenty of exercise it is much more difficult because the calories in that person's allowance are also very low. And that's not always easy to maintain.
When I was in my 20's it seemed like the weight would just fall right off if I gained any. Now twice as old it is definitely not just that easy. I am glad to see this post because there are a LOT of people here who need to learn to understand this very thing.
People do understand this.
What I think you don't understand is that how you feel about exercise is largely coloring your perception of how difficult this all is for you.
I feel like this has been relatively easy for me, compared to past efforts (where I wasn't exercising more than walks which were built into my commute when I was younger and still working). Two things have played a part in this. The most important being that I had a reasonable expectation of the rate of weight loss considering my height and age and the amount of deficit I was able to create. The second being that I found I enjoyed the exercise I started doing.
I started out walking out with a cane and now run at least 3 miles a day 6 days a week and lift weights 3 times a week. My weekly step count average per day is hovering around 21K. None of this is hard for me to get, but i built up to it slowly and it's all just become part of my life.
I might slow down when it comes time to maintain, I might enjoy having a high TDEE. I don't know.6 -
There is no one size fits all. ... only in onesees
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I am a 54 year old menopausal woman, who came here 4 years ago, for yet another attempt to lose weight. I am a college graduate, I think I'm relatively smart, and had no clue how to actually do it. I had tried every diet under the sun for almost 20 years. I started reading these forums and heard the Acronym CICO for the first time. It made sense, like a simple math equation. I can't hardly express how wonderful it was when I realized that all I had to do was count my calories and eat less than I burn and I would lose weight. Even better, I didn't have to restrict anything! It was a gift, and I learned it here on these forums.
Yes, sometimes, people are very blunt on here, personally I am glad for it. Yes, it is all about the calorie count, how you get to those calories is a personal choice. No I don't eat in what some (many) would call healthfully, lots of chips and not many veggies. I am so much healthier than I was when I was morbidly obese with high blood pressure.
I say, thank you random forum people, you entertain and educate me daily.24 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
And it's fine if they can't, but questioning it isn't disrespecting them, it's simply asking a question.
And the act of asking that question comes from experience, in most cases. A lot of the time, people have had the experience of restricting foods leading to diet failure because it was not a fully informed, sustainable choice.
People in the diet industry wrap a lot of scary sounding claims around selling people on the idea of why they should be eating certain ways to convince them to buy books. And a lot of those claims are patently false. Some people come to these forums with information they've heard from people who've read those books or that has been passed along like the telephone game in social media, and there's no real understanding behind their decision to do what they planned -- they just think they have to do xyz to lose weight.
There is no harm in asking. It's not an insult to inform them they don't have to. It's not an insult to inform them cutting whole food groups or eating a certain way isn't the way weight loss works.
As a poster said upstream, informed choices are good things.4 -
New here. Not up on the acronyms. What the hell is CICO? Thanks, and sorry for the stupid question!0
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Skyblueyellow wrote: »ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Skyblueyellow wrote: »I try to be very nice but I do get concerned about people who want to try diets that aren't sustainable. I don't want to see anyone fail because they erroneously believe that they "can't" have potatoes, or full fat dairy, or a glass of wine. I also don't want people to put their own health at risk. This whole weight loss thing is a journey and we need to come to terms with taking is slow, enjoying the journey, and learning how to eat in ways that make our bodies feel super great.
I'm diabetic and I accept that people on the forum will always want to know WHY a poster is considering a low carb diet. Personally, I respect that. I don't want a person thinking that they HAVE to eat this way to lose weight. It takes commitment and you really have to pay attention to your day as a whole. I've never had anyone be disrespectful to me about my choice. Maybe it is because I have a medical reason to moderate my carb intake. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm generally treated with respect here.
Some people CAN'T have some of those things. Why do so many people here not understand that some people can and some really can't? People are way too hung up on deciding that everyone can and should have everything any day and at anytime. This is just not the case for everyone. There needs to be more respect for others as no one here knows personally what is the case for an internet stranger. Some people really do have to avoid certain foods altogether. But there is this large crowd with criticism at the ready for anyone who feels they want to eliminate that which has been dragging them down. I don't see where that is ever going to help anyone.
Ok, so why CAN'T you have potatoes? Allergy?
And honestly, I'm a psychologist by trade and advise against elimination. That sort of cognitive inflexibility is generally not healthy.
Did I say "ME"? I said SOME people., Because YOU can doesn't mean everyone can. You are now doing an excellent job of proving my point. Step back and think a little before assuming we all came out of a cookie cutter and are therefore all exactly alike 100%. Not everyone can follow YOUR diet and be successful. Which is the original point of this whole thread. If someone finds something that works very well and it happens to be different from what works for you why do you care? I would rather people get there in what ever way works for them than to keep doing what is holding them down.
What people CAN do and what people CHOOSE to do are often two different things.
Yes, we are all different. But many people erroneously believe that they CAN'T have something because of random internet advice. If you carefully read my original statement, I used the phrase "erroneously believe", which means that their thinking is not correct because they actually CAN have that. Obviously it does not apply to you if you truly cannot have an item due to an allergy or intolerance.
You mean I shouldn't start an "I can't eat beets" thread?
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It's been my experience that every helpful poster on these forums, every single one, will be called rude, mean, negative, troll, bully, etc. at some point or another no matter how carefully they phrase their advice. Posts like this tend not to be very helpful. When every helpful poster is called out as mean at some point or another, then making a post like this without examples or qualifications just ends up pointing fingers at everyone.
There is some actual rudeness that goes above and beyond what should be acceptable here. Report it (use the actual report function not the flags) or call it out where you see it. But posts like this just add to the negative atmosphere that you're trying to combat instead of solving anything.
And if you want to see better, more nuanced advice on the boards, jump in and give it! Please. Those of us who try to help out get overwhelmed at this time of year. We can't answer everyone. We can't spend hours hand-holding someone who needs it. If you can do that, then help us! Instead of putting down those of us who are trying our best.17 -
I think eggs are icky. I get that they are healthy, a good source of protein etc., but I just never liked the taste.
Not once have I been told here I have to eat them.7 -
Anyone else remember when all the mean people threads suggested we should ask people why they're doing something instead of just assuming? Now it's rude to ask. No way to win this game.17
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Calories In-Calories Out. In other words, if you have more calories coming in than going out, you will gain. If fewer, you will lose. It doesn't matter whether they're fat, sugar, etc.
Note that's talking from a weight-loss NOT a nutrition angle. Clearly, if you eat nothing but junk food every day (which, I don't believe anyone advocates) but stay within your calorie totals, you will likely be hungry, and setting yourself up for health issues. But what that means is that if you decide that you want a 270-calorie jelly donut and you are on a 1700 calorie/day budget and you stay within that limit, you are going to lose the same amount of weight as you would if that 270 calories was taken up with grilled fish and salad.4 -
Tacklewasher wrote: »I think eggs are icky. I get that they are healthy, a good source of protein etc., but I just never liked the taste.
Not once have I been told here I have to eat them.
Send me all your eggs. I will eat them for you.
You can eat all the beets.9 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »Tacklewasher wrote: »I think eggs are icky. I get that they are healthy, a good source of protein etc., but I just never liked the taste.
Not once have I been told here I have to eat them.
Send me all your eggs. I will eat them for you.
You can eat all the beets.
And what would I do with the damn things? At least eggs are good for throwing.
Really, I drive my wife nuts because I am a picky eater. Lots of healthy stuff that I don't eat because I don't like it. I'm doing better than I was, but I eat almost no cooked veggies and not a good range of raw ones.3
This discussion has been closed.
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