"You can eat whaver you want, as long as you eat at a deficit" is true, but it's garbage advice.
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I recognize that I'm new, but I'm not trying to be rude or ignorant. If I made a mistake, please forgive and bear with me. I really did read the entire thread, as I said. And on behalf of the other newbies, please consider that not everyone has it all figured out yet.
Hey, we get all that, didn't think you rude and you have every right to express your opinion. You haven't made any mistakes either. I for one am glad you have joined in, keep it up and stay engaged. This place needs new posters to breath fresh ideas into it. That said, I think you're are taking the wrong position and I base that on seeing it over and over and over. There are a few, but it is very few posters still around after 3 years who sing the praises of restriction. There are many who would say that moderation has better success.4 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »But what I don't think is that ANYONE, anyone at ALL, thinks that these strawmen diets "only donuts" or "only Whoppers plus lots of fries and milkshakes, no veg" or whatever it is are good, healthy, balanced diets, and they also will realize the calorie issue as soon as they start counting. People know they shouldn't eat tons and tons of junk food -- no one who eats mostly junk food claims they are doing it for health. People also know they should eat vegetables. With the exception of some in the XTreme Keto community ("carnivores"), who would consider themselves educated and don't want my advice, I've yet to come across someone on MFP, even the least informed newby, who doesn't know she should be eating vegetables. They may need to figure out how, but they know they should. Saying they might think that only cake is a reasonable diet is not a real thing, sorry.
From the point of view of veterans, your advice is absolutely clear. From the point of someone who is new to this board, I wanted to say that a lot of the "eat whatever you want" advice can sound different than it's intended.
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ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Right here! I would rather have a lot of food than a little bit. If I have some teensy-weensy, tee-niney, pigmy sized pea shaped piece of something magically delicious I will not be satisfied. I save the junk for when I REALLY want it. I may blow my calories that day but man is it ever worth it when I do! Some people really are content with two Oreos or a half-cup of ice cream. I I eat that and it's gonna be on like Donkey-Kong.
People say, "Don't deprive yourself!" Deprivation occurs when you do not get what you need. And I'm pretty sure I don't need to blow all my calories on a pile of chili-cheese fries.
Okay, but there are different kinds of needs: physical, emotional, and psychological spring to mind. So, here's a situation that happened to me in December. We were invited to a Hannukah party. Now, for those unaware, there are two foods that are traditionally associated with Hannukah, if you are Jewish of Eastern European descent (I don't doubt that there are other foods involved for those of Mediterranean/Middle Eastern/North African, but I'm talking about my background): Potato latkes and donuts. Usually jelly or custard donuts. And in the past, one of two things would happen to me at that kind of gathering:
Either I would be trying hard to stick to the fruit platter, while passing up the traditional foods, all the while wanting those foods and feeling miserable and deprived OR
I would give in, have the traditional foods, and feel miserable and guilty and go back for seconds and thirds.
This year?
I asked myself beforehand: How much do you think you need to be satisfied emotionally? Because you know you want the stuff, so let's just see ahead of time how bad it's going to be.
The latkes weren't going to be bad. My sister-in-law has a ceramic frying pan that doesn't require oil. I figured three was reasonable. The donuts? Sigh. 270 calories for jelly. 240 for custard. Too high to justify one... but half a custard? Yes. It was worth it at 120 calories.
So I had my three latkes and half a custard donut. And plenty of fruit and a bowl of home-made vegetable soup. And I felt satiated. And I didn't feel miserable. And I didn't feel guilty.
Now.
Did I need the latkes and half-donut?
Well... it wasn't a matter of life and death. It wasn't like I was starving and that was all there was and if I didn't have them, I'd collapse from hunger. So from a physical standpoint, no I did not. But from an emotional connection to the holiday and the foods I usually eat at that time of year? From wanting to feel like part of the crowd and not have clementines while everyone else was digging into the donuts? Yes, I think I did need them. I didn't need to go overboard. I ate what I'd planned and stayed within my calorie totals for the day. It was a treat, not a cheat. No guilt. No regrets. No deprivation.19 -
I recognize that I'm new, but I'm not trying to be rude or ignorant. If I made a mistake, please forgive and bear with me. I really did read the entire thread, as I said. And on behalf of the other newbies, please consider that not everyone has it all figured out yet.
I don't think you need to apologize and I'm sorry if you thought my posts were implying that. We were all new at one point and many of us came to these boards with preconceived notions about diet and exercise (hello starvation mode, remember me your old friend?) that formed our initial perspectives and reactions to posters on these forums. After lurking and learning and asking some questions of our own, many of us found a way to be successful that we now want to share with others. If you do stick around these boards long enough (and I hope you do) you will realize that the same questions get asked over and over and over again. The same veteran posters try to answer them as patiently as we can, but it is impossible to address every possible hypothetical scenario or undisclosed unique situation that a poster may have forgotten to mention. The threads themselves are filled with a variety of perspectives and usually all the bases get covered by the collective community. As I said upthread, trying to add a disclaimer to every single post about the importance of nutrition is redundant and, IMO, insulting to some of the people asking the questions. With this thread in particular, it is frustrating to have page after page of discussion about what people mean by the statement in the OP, and why that perspective IS helpful to thousands of users who have finally given up demonizing or arbitrarily restricting foods when they didn't need to... yet people still keep misinterpreting the advice or saying it isn't helpful or sufficient.
So again, apologies for being a bit blunt. I do hope you'll take opportunities to ask questions and share your advice, particularly if you feel something was omitted on threads where someone asks if they can really still eat McDonalds and still lose weight (Yes! *but of course nutrition is important too and please don't eat nothing but McNuggets because that's icky and the Daily Mail might do an article about you which is not the 5 minutes of fame you're looking for.). How was that?6 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »But what I don't think is that ANYONE, anyone at ALL, thinks that these strawmen diets "only donuts" or "only Whoppers plus lots of fries and milkshakes, no veg" or whatever it is are good, healthy, balanced diets, and they also will realize the calorie issue as soon as they start counting. People know they shouldn't eat tons and tons of junk food -- no one who eats mostly junk food claims they are doing it for health. People also know they should eat vegetables. With the exception of some in the XTreme Keto community ("carnivores"), who would consider themselves educated and don't want my advice, I've yet to come across someone on MFP, even the least informed newby, who doesn't know she should be eating vegetables. They may need to figure out how, but they know they should. Saying they might think that only cake is a reasonable diet is not a real thing, sorry.
From the point of view of veterans, your advice is absolutely clear. From the point of someone who is new to this board, I wanted to say that a lot of the "eat whatever you want" advice can sound different than it's intended.
I was once a newbie and it was the most freeing information I've received. I learned my diet didn't have to be void of the things I like to eat and its actually more sustainable then my restrictive diets in the past.
But thats me.
ETA - I'm still learning new things after 8 months.4 -
estherdragonbat wrote: »ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Right here! I would rather have a lot of food than a little bit. If I have some teensy-weensy, tee-niney, pigmy sized pea shaped piece of something magically delicious I will not be satisfied. I save the junk for when I REALLY want it. I may blow my calories that day but man is it ever worth it when I do! Some people really are content with two Oreos or a half-cup of ice cream. I I eat that and it's gonna be on like Donkey-Kong.
People say, "Don't deprive yourself!" Deprivation occurs when you do not get what you need. And I'm pretty sure I don't need to blow all my calories on a pile of chili-cheese fries.
Okay, but there are different kinds of needs: physical, emotional, and psychological spring to mind. So, here's a situation that happened to me in December. We were invited to a Hannukah party. Now, for those unaware, there are two foods that are traditionally associated with Hannukah, if you are Jewish of Eastern European descent (I don't doubt that there are other foods involved for those of Mediterranean/Middle Eastern/North African, but I'm talking about my background): Potato latkes and donuts. Usually jelly or custard donuts. And in the past, one of two things would happen to me at that kind of gathering:
Either I would be trying hard to stick to the fruit platter, while passing up the traditional foods, all the while wanting those foods and feeling miserable and deprived OR
I would give in, have the traditional foods, and feel miserable and guilty and go back for seconds and thirds.
This year?
I asked myself beforehand: How much do you think you need to be satisfied emotionally? Because you know you want the stuff, so let's just see ahead of time how bad it's going to be.
The latkes weren't going to be bad. My sister-in-law has a ceramic frying pan that doesn't require oil. I figured three was reasonable. The donuts? Sigh. 270 calories for jelly. 240 for custard. Too high to justify one... but half a custard? Yes. It was worth it at 120 calories.
So I had my three latkes and half a custard donut. And plenty of fruit and a bowl of home-made vegetable soup. And I felt satiated. And I didn't feel miserable. And I didn't feel guilty.
Now.
Did I need the latkes and half-donut?
Well... it wasn't a matter of life and death. It wasn't like I was starving and that was all there was and if I didn't have them, I'd collapse from hunger. So from a physical standpoint, no I did not. But from an emotional connection to the holiday and the foods I usually eat at that time of year? From wanting to feel like part of the crowd and not have clementines while everyone else was digging into the donuts? Yes, I think I did need them. I didn't need to go overboard. I ate what I'd planned and stayed within my calorie totals for the day. It was a treat, not a cheat. No guilt. No regrets. No deprivation.
Enjoying a holiday and daily life type of eating are not the same thing really. Most people relax on special occasions and get back to their plan the next day or when the holiday is over.3 -
estherdragonbat wrote: »ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »Right here! I would rather have a lot of food than a little bit. If I have some teensy-weensy, tee-niney, pigmy sized pea shaped piece of something magically delicious I will not be satisfied. I save the junk for when I REALLY want it. I may blow my calories that day but man is it ever worth it when I do! Some people really are content with two Oreos or a half-cup of ice cream. I I eat that and it's gonna be on like Donkey-Kong.
People say, "Don't deprive yourself!" Deprivation occurs when you do not get what you need. And I'm pretty sure I don't need to blow all my calories on a pile of chili-cheese fries.
Okay, but there are different kinds of needs: physical, emotional, and psychological spring to mind. So, here's a situation that happened to me in December. We were invited to a Hannukah party. Now, for those unaware, there are two foods that are traditionally associated with Hannukah, if you are Jewish of Eastern European descent (I don't doubt that there are other foods involved for those of Mediterranean/Middle Eastern/North African, but I'm talking about my background): Potato latkes and donuts. Usually jelly or custard donuts. And in the past, one of two things would happen to me at that kind of gathering:
Either I would be trying hard to stick to the fruit platter, while passing up the traditional foods, all the while wanting those foods and feeling miserable and deprived OR
I would give in, have the traditional foods, and feel miserable and guilty and go back for seconds and thirds.
This year?
I asked myself beforehand: How much do you think you need to be satisfied emotionally? Because you know you want the stuff, so let's just see ahead of time how bad it's going to be.
The latkes weren't going to be bad. My sister-in-law has a ceramic frying pan that doesn't require oil. I figured three was reasonable. The donuts? Sigh. 270 calories for jelly. 240 for custard. Too high to justify one... but half a custard? Yes. It was worth it at 120 calories.
So I had my three latkes and half a custard donut. And plenty of fruit and a bowl of home-made vegetable soup. And I felt satiated. And I didn't feel miserable. And I didn't feel guilty.
Now.
Did I need the latkes and half-donut?
Well... it wasn't a matter of life and death. It wasn't like I was starving and that was all there was and if I didn't have them, I'd collapse from hunger. So from a physical standpoint, no I did not. But from an emotional connection to the holiday and the foods I usually eat at that time of year? From wanting to feel like part of the crowd and not have clementines while everyone else was digging into the donuts? Yes, I think I did need them. I didn't need to go overboard. I ate what I'd planned and stayed within my calorie totals for the day. It was a treat, not a cheat. No guilt. No regrets. No deprivation.
A lot of these foods that are so calorie dense that we tend to totally avoid them while reducing were never designed to be parts of our daily diet. They're festive foods, eaten on special occasions, maybe a couple of times a year, for celebrations. In that context, there's no way even a whole jelly doughnut, or several, or a half-dozen latkes fried in schmaltz, are going to be a big problem.
Every day? Yeah, that's a recipe for waistline disaster. Once or twice a year? No harm at all in my book. Not even approximately a cheat. It's a party. It's for celebrating the season.4 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »But what I don't think is that ANYONE, anyone at ALL, thinks that these strawmen diets "only donuts" or "only Whoppers plus lots of fries and milkshakes, no veg" or whatever it is are good, healthy, balanced diets, and they also will realize the calorie issue as soon as they start counting. People know they shouldn't eat tons and tons of junk food -- no one who eats mostly junk food claims they are doing it for health. People also know they should eat vegetables. With the exception of some in the XTreme Keto community ("carnivores"), who would consider themselves educated and don't want my advice, I've yet to come across someone on MFP, even the least informed newby, who doesn't know she should be eating vegetables. They may need to figure out how, but they know they should. Saying they might think that only cake is a reasonable diet is not a real thing, sorry.
From the point of view of veterans, your advice is absolutely clear. From the point of someone who is new to this board, I wanted to say that a lot of the "eat whatever you want" advice can sound different than it's intended.
Sorry, one thought on this. Can I tell you how many times a newbie asks a question about a particular fad diet, a gimmick, a woo based theory that they heard about on Facebook or Pinterest or Instagram... and when they are told that is a waste of time, money, effort, as well as being unnecessary, potentially dangerous, etc.... then the people who are providing this advice in the best interest of the poster are labeled meanies, bullies, vicious, unsupportive, critical, etc. If you don't believe me, check out the current Fat Burners thread.
It is impossible to address every scenario with a single post, and some people just aren't ready to take the advice, even if it is specific and directed right at them and tied with a big red bow on top.
People have to be willing to read, ask questions, learn, sometimes with a thick skin, to be successful. If they aren't, then this may not be the right place, right time, or right venue for them.
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I recognize that I'm new, but I'm not trying to be rude or ignorant. If I made a mistake, please forgive and bear with me. I really did read the entire thread, as I said. And on behalf of the other newbies, please consider that not everyone has it all figured out yet.
You don't need to apologize, seriously.
I get riled up though, because there is a group of veterans here who have successfully lost weight and kept it off, who take time out of their days to try to help other people reach their goal. And they get criticized constantly for not saying enough, for saying too much, for saying it wrong. Yet I don't see any of the criticizers taking hours out of their own free time to give better advice themselves. It's easy to cherry pick a reply here and another one there to criticize. It's another to put your own time and pride on the line and jump in and do the actual dirty work.
By all means, it's good to constantly get new blood in here and get different perspectives. I was new a couple of years ago. And what I learned here has been invaluable, I hope it will be the same for you :drinker:12 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »But what I don't think is that ANYONE, anyone at ALL, thinks that these strawmen diets "only donuts" or "only Whoppers plus lots of fries and milkshakes, no veg" or whatever it is are good, healthy, balanced diets, and they also will realize the calorie issue as soon as they start counting. People know they shouldn't eat tons and tons of junk food -- no one who eats mostly junk food claims they are doing it for health. People also know they should eat vegetables. With the exception of some in the XTreme Keto community ("carnivores"), who would consider themselves educated and don't want my advice, I've yet to come across someone on MFP, even the least informed newby, who doesn't know she should be eating vegetables. They may need to figure out how, but they know they should. Saying they might think that only cake is a reasonable diet is not a real thing, sorry.
From the point of view of veterans, your advice is absolutely clear. From the point of someone who is new to this board, I wanted to say that a lot of the "eat whatever you want" advice can sound different than it's intended.
That has nothing to do with the advice. If people are going to hear what they want to hear, then they are not ready. Period.9 -
Okay, so help us out then. A newbie starts a thread and says "I really need to lose weight, but I really love carbs so I'm stuck! Help!!!" My response would be - Hey OP, you don't HAVE to go low carb, you just need to hit your calorie goal, you can eat whatever food you want!" This I guess is garbage incomplete advice. So could you please tell me what we are supposed to say, and keep in mind there are HUNDREDS of threads started every day.
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Okay, so help us out then. A newbie starts a thread and says "I really need to lose weight, but I really love carbs so I'm stuck! Help!!!" My response would be - Hey OP, you don't HAVE to go low carb, you just need to hit your calorie goal, you can eat whatever food you want!" This I guess is garbage incomplete advice. So could you please tell me what we are supposed to say, and keep in mind there are HUNDREDS of threads started every day.
We actually have those links, and they get pointed to all the time. Unsurprisingly, they don't seem to get read that much10 -
Okay, so help us out then. A newbie starts a thread and says "I really need to lose weight, but I really love carbs so I'm stuck! Help!!!" My response would be - Hey OP, you don't HAVE to go low carb, you just need to hit your calorie goal, you can eat whatever food you want!" This I guess is garbage incomplete advice. So could you please tell me what we are supposed to say, and keep in mind there are HUNDREDS of threads started every day.
Lol people do not read the stickies. Even though they are right there on top and very clearly marked.4 -
Chef_Barbell wrote: »Okay, so help us out then. A newbie starts a thread and says "I really need to lose weight, but I really love carbs so I'm stuck! Help!!!" My response would be - Hey OP, you don't HAVE to go low carb, you just need to hit your calorie goal, you can eat whatever food you want!" This I guess is garbage incomplete advice. So could you please tell me what we are supposed to say, and keep in mind there are HUNDREDS of threads started every day.
Lol people do not read the stickies. Even though they are right there on top and very clearly marked.
Nor use the search feature, unless it is to bump an obscure zombie thread...10 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »We actually have those links, and they get pointed to all the time. Unsurprisingly, they don't seem to get read that much
Speaking of which, is there a link that answers the question of whether "eat whatever you want..." is good advice? (Serious question.) If it was posted earlier, I didn't notice it.
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Alatariel75 wrote: »We actually have those links, and they get pointed to all the time. Unsurprisingly, they don't seem to get read that much
Speaking of which, is there a link that answers the question of whether "eat whatever you want..." is good advice? (Serious question.) If it was posted earlier, I didn't notice it.
In this very section there's this:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300319/most-helpful-posts-general-diet-and-weight-loss-help-must-reads#latest4 -
I recognize that I'm new, but I'm not trying to be rude or ignorant. If I made a mistake, please forgive and bear with me. I really did read the entire thread, as I said. And on behalf of the other newbies, please consider that not everyone has it all figured out yet.
You don't need to apologize, seriously.
I get riled up though, because there is a group of veterans here who have successfully lost weight and kept it off, who take time out of their days to try to help other people reach their goal. And they get criticized constantly for not saying enough, for saying too much, for saying it wrong. Yet I don't see any of the criticizers taking hours out of their own free time to give better advice themselves. It's easy to cherry pick a reply here and another one there to criticize. It's another to put your own time and pride on the line and jump in and do the actual dirty work.
By all means, it's good to constantly get new blood in here and get different perspectives. I was new a couple of years ago. And what I learned here has been invaluable, I hope it will be the same for you :drinker:
Cosigned.3 -
just no twinkie diets please....
I used to be a guy that was "omg no junk (and let me rephrase JUNK for some people)) no high carb empty calorie foods like CANDY BARS GUMMY WORMS ICE CREAMS MCDONALDS once in a while or your diet is ruined" but I tried that and had what is called, for druggies..a RELAPSE...my body was at a point where it felt the need to GAIN the weight back I had lost so in turn I BINGED, because I cut out foods my body was USED to and ENJOYED. Now, even though it's in HEAVY moderation, I do enjoy those things but alas they are not a staple for my weight loss. I would never attribute my personal weight loss to the fact that "I can eat anything as long as i'm in a deficit" because for me that was simply not true. If I had eaten a sweet or candy or cake etc during my initial weight loss even IN a deficit it would for some reason turn on a switch and make me go even harder with the sweets junk etc and would essentially push me OVER my limit. Once I was able to master my mental practice of eating habits then I was able to fit in foods I enjoyed, but until then I had to enact discipline as many do to get it started.
Idc how many people say "well i didn't have to" thats fine because every human is different. But I know a lot of people i've worked with (and no i'm no where NEAR a PT or nutritionist) but they get the FASTEST results and most satisfactory results FROM eating "CLEAN AKA Not trying to worry if a candy bar cake mcdonalds will FIT in their macros". What I mean is that a lot of people doing weight loss PREFER to cut the junk out not because its BAD for them but because its just not needed for their specific goals.
Sure a treat is nice every once in a while but if Person A) want's to get shredded for a competition in 12 weeks and has never done anything in his life remotely close to this, then most likely he is NOT going to want to have anything to do with sweets and mcdonalds because it might SABATOGE his process. I'm not saying it WILL i'm saying from a mental standpoint it could. Again every person is different but I will always point back to this; flexibile dieting is KEY but eating like POOP is not. You can be in a deficit all you want while eating cakes if that's what your into, but some people, like me, prefer to just cut it out because to us, calories in vs calories out counts for a lot more than just a number and a food type.2 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »We actually have those links, and they get pointed to all the time. Unsurprisingly, they don't seem to get read that much
Speaking of which, is there a link that answers the question of whether "eat whatever you want..." is good advice? (Serious question.) If it was posted earlier, I didn't notice it.
You are giving A newbies point of view.
Mine is/was different.8 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »We actually have those links, and they get pointed to all the time. Unsurprisingly, they don't seem to get read that much
Speaking of which, is there a link that answers the question of whether "eat whatever you want..." is good advice? (Serious question.) If it was posted earlier, I didn't notice it.
It sounds like you are saying the newbie has no responsibility to find these things themselves. We are supposed to link the stickies, and address unanswered questions, and provide disclaimers that may or may not be needed, in order to spoon feed the noobs every possible piece of information they can possibly absorb, in every single thread?
Also, those links probably weren't posted in this thread because the OP wasn't asking for help. He was just telling the rest of us how our advice is garbage.13
This discussion has been closed.
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