623lbs, Trying to Get Going Again
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I hope you find success this time! What are you planning to do now so you don't fall off track again?0
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Just take it one step at a time. Don't focus on the total amount you want to lose, just focus on losing 5 pounds. Then set a goal to lose another 5. Otherwise it might seem overwhelming. I lost 100 pounds that way, and have kept it off.
Also, because you have so much to lose you have a lot of options on how to do it. People who just want to lose 10 or 20 pounds can find it very difficult...every little calorie can make a huge difference. But you will lose very easily at the beginning, and that will give you some encouragement and positive reinforcement and should help to stick with it.
You can count calories if you like. Or...you can start off more informally. Just eliminate one snack a day. Or just cut the size of meals slightly. You can always move to counting calories later when it becomes harder to lose. You can try to eat healthier foods, or just less of whatever you currently eat. Personally, what worked for me was to gradually overhaul my diet and cut the unhealthy foods, but it is not necessary to lose weight (it is good for your health though.)
Try walking. Even if you can't go far...try two or three short walks a day. Park in a parking spot that requires more walking to your destination. Try getting a little more movement into your day. Consider adding a few minutes of stretching in the morning and evening. You just start gradually and add a little more when what you're doing starts to be less difficult.
Finally, I wouldn't cut calories drastically. That will be a difficult change to make all at once. It also leaves you no room to cut when you hit a plateau later. Just start with a small reduction.
Good luck.4 -
Much love for coming back and not giving up.
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PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »Much love for coming back and not giving up.
Exactly.
OP keep coming back and often.
It helps me to get support and I learn so much even 8 months in.1 -
One thing that really helps me is mindfulness.
http://self-compassion.org/ is a good resource. Dr. Kristin Neff's guided meditations help me to feel compassion toward myself in difficult moments, to be more aware of my body and its hunger and satiety signals, and to generally be more calm and in control.
There are a lot of people who have lost significant amounts of unwanted weight through mindfulness. There are also groups here on MFP dedicated to it.
Together with diet/exercise/counselling where appropriate, mindfulness could potentially be helpful!0 -
I know what it's like to start, stop, and start again. I'm finally "getting there" and so can you.
I had / have days where everything seems to go to pot, where I eat way too much and the scale goes up, or even days where I stay under my calorie goal and the scale STILL goes up . . . I used to use the "little" failures as an excuse to give up, but I am done with that. Every time you fall down, pick yourself up and keep going. You can do it. 2 -
One trick that can help increase fiber while reducing calories is to eat a small piece of fruit (apple or similar) before your meals. Another trick is to eat all of your meals in your kitchen/dining area. Don't multitask and eat.1
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Welcome back. May you find success and support for your journey.
I HIGHLY recommend working through the book and workbook called The Beck Diet Solution. It's not a book about what to eat. It's a book that teaches cognitive behavioral therapy for changing unwanted food habits. Doing this while working on losing has helped me to be more successful losing them I have in the past. It's worth your time and money.
Good luck! Post often so we can encourage you.2 -
As much as its hard being the size that I am right now, the actual thought of restricting myself of what I love to be on a diet really sucks, and I think the hardest thing is to actually feel it emotionally ready to be doing it. I don't know if that makes any sense, but its just this murky difficult thing, I think.
i
What would you do if you woke up one morning and were told that you could spend 14 days however you wanted, as an 140 lb woman? Just imagine for a little while. Would it be thrilling to buy lingerie and admire yourself in the mirror? Would you go to Disney or Cedar Point? Both? Would you go hiking at Yellowstone or somewhere out in the countryside and marvel at skies dark enough to see the Milky Way above you? Maybe it could be something more mundane, being able to spend the day walking a zoo/aquarium or a trip to the beach.
Food is great. It is rewarding because it keeps us alive. But I would imagine that food has locked you in a prison. From the sounds of things, you're severely restricted in what you are physically capable of doing.
"Loss aversion" (the fear of losing out) can be a huge psychological motivator. You can, therefore, possibly activate a different response by phrasing some things in a negative manner. "By losing weight, I can go to Cedar Point" doesn't have the same power as "If I don't lose weight, I'll never be able to go to Cedar Point". You aren't saying that you absolutely will go but you can be sure that the alternative is the certainty of never having that option. Imagining a reality where you already possess something makes it more painful to lose it.8 -
Hi guys! Just FYI I'm back and I'm ready to lose this time. I gained about 100lbs since I last posted, but I'm past that. I just want to say that I appreciate the positive people here, and I look forward to encouraging others!
~D
If you are now 723 lbs, I hope you've contacted medical professionals and are working with them to help you lose the weight.
No, you're right, I'm not 723 lbs. I was 707 but now I'm down to 699 I believe. I am going to try this on my own first though and I thank the people here and offline that have so supportive, win lose or gain.
You spent four years trying it yourself and you regressed. I agree with Machka9. You should seek professional help. You are a prime candidate for a heart attack or stroke. I'm not trying to be mean or an alarmist, but your life literally depends on you losing weight.8 -
Well done for coming back!
I had lost around 42lbs a few years ago and put it all back on because I gave up and didnt really want to do it. So I know how easy it is to stop and add it on again.
Small goals are for me I have a weight I want to get to once I reach that I go down to another goal. I find it easier this way than thinking omg ive got x amount to go.
Good luck!
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FreyasRebirth wrote: »As much as its hard being the size that I am right now, the actual thought of restricting myself of what I love to be on a diet really sucks, and I think the hardest thing is to actually feel it emotionally ready to be doing it. I don't know if that makes any sense, but its just this murky difficult thing, I think.
i
What would you do if you woke up one morning and were told that you could spend 14 days however you wanted, as an 140 lb woman? Just imagine for a little while. Would it be thrilling to buy lingerie and admire yourself in the mirror? Would you go to Disney or Cedar Point? Both? Would you go hiking at Yellowstone or somewhere out in the countryside and marvel at skies dark enough to see the Milky Way above you? Maybe it could be something more mundane, being able to spend the day walking a zoo/aquarium or a trip to the beach.
Food is great. It is rewarding because it keeps us alive. But I would imagine that food has locked you in a prison. From the sounds of things, you're severely restricted in what you are physically capable of doing.
"Loss aversion" (the fear of losing out) can be a huge psychological motivator. You can, therefore, possibly activate a different response by phrasing some things in a negative manner. "By losing weight, I can go to Cedar Point" doesn't have the same power as "If I don't lose weight, I'll never be able to go to Cedar Point". You aren't saying that you absolutely will go but you can be sure that the alternative is the certainty of never having that option. Imagining a reality where you already possess something makes it more painful to lose it.
Hi Dani ^^^^^ this is a brilliant idea. Im going to try it myself. Good luck and keep at it girl.1 -
annieberical wrote: »I don't know if this has been discussed yet or not, but have you considered seeing a bariatrician? A doc that specializes in weight loss/control? It could be the breakthrough you're looking for. They can help by giving you guidance on what you should be eating for the best results, how to safely exercise, and they can also help monitor your health (blood pressure, heart, etc.) through the process. They can also help with medicines for insulin resistance (which is a tough thing to beat and really drives our food cravings) and appetite control. I've done it, and I'm glad I did. My monthly visits to the doc really help motivate me between visits and it helps to know you're on the right track--there's a lot less of the second-guessing yourself that happens when you're winging it on your own, and quite frankly, there is a lot of bad advice out there on how to eat for weight loss.
I agree with this. I was not as heavy as you are, but I was morbidly obese before I finally decided I couldn't live that way anymore. I ended up having weight loss surgery--a vertical sleeve gastrectomy in 2012. I've lost around 150 lbs & I'm maintaining now. I'm not advocating surgery for you right now because I think you need to work out the mental aspects of weight loss. I do think that a doctor that specializes in morbidly obese patients could be helpful to you.
Have you seen a doctor lately? One thing I consistently did when I was morbidly obese was avoid the doctor. I didn't want the judgement. I didn't want to hear them tell me I needed to lose weight (duh!). I also didn't want to hear what was actually going wrong physically with my body at the time, or what was going to happen if I didn't change my behavior. I was super good at avoiding reality & lying to myself.
I strongly urge you to find a counselor that specializes in eating disorders & start working intensively with them. I think this is just as important as your calorie intake at this point.
You have been given a ton of good advice & you don't fail as long as you keep trying, but you do have to assess whether you have a good chance of success based on your past behavior. You recognize that you have mental reluctance to give up foods. I do think that if you have a dysfunctional relationship with food, you can feel actual grief at the idea of giving up not just *what* you've been eating, but also *how much*. This can lead to binging on things--the "I'll never be able to eat 6 doughnuts, or a whole pizza, or a package of cookies, or *whatever* again" type eating. It was hard for me in the beginning to watch my husband eat a full plate of food at every meal & know that I could not do that--he just gets more calories than I do because he's a man & much taller than me. It can be hard to struggle with feeling sad for yourself over that loss & also resentful of other people because it seems so much easier for them. It's so easy to fall back into the patterns & habits that you have built up over a lifetime. So often we are derailed by a bad day or even an especially good day (holidays or other celebrations) or just by being sooo tired, where we turn to food. A counselor can help you develop new habits & new ways of thinking about food and support you when you need it. Because it's hard work to lose it & then it's a *lifetime* of constant vigilance to maintain the loss. But it's totally worth it.
I wish you the best!4 -
You have been given a ton of good advice & you don't fail as long as you keep trying, but you do have to assess whether you have a good chance of success based on your past behavior. You recognize that you have mental reluctance to give up foods. I do think that if you have a dysfunctional relationship with food, you can feel actual grief at the idea of giving up not just *what* you've been eating, but also *how much*. This can lead to binging on things--the "I'll never be able to eat 6 doughnuts, or a whole pizza, or a package of cookies, or *whatever* again" type eating. It was hard for me in the beginning to watch my husband eat a full plate of food at every meal & know that I could not do that--he just gets more calories than I do because he's a man & much taller than me. It can be hard to struggle with feeling sad for yourself over that loss & also resentful of other people because it seems so much easier for them. It's so easy to fall back into the patterns & habits that you have built up over a lifetime. So often we are derailed by a bad day or even an especially good day (holidays or other celebrations) or just by being sooo tired, where we turn to food. A counselor can help you develop new habits & new ways of thinking about food and support you when you need it. Because it's hard work to lose it & then it's a *lifetime* of constant vigilance to maintain the loss. But it's totally worth it.
I wish you the best!
I have been debating whether to "weigh" in and discuss these issues because at this stage the encouragement to just get started, in a way, "outweighs" all other considerations, including those of long term success.
But, you did bring up the issue in an earlier post, it probably contributed to your derailment a few years ago, and I have to say that at a much lower starting weight I too had to fight with it.
And it is an issue that you MUST get past in order to succeed long term.
The issue being, for myself, the "grief" and reluctance I felt over giving up a phase of my life (which had lasted all of my adult life) and, slowly, reluctantly if you will, embracing a new one.
This statement encompasses a lot of facets.
When food and our identity as a big person are central to our lives making that change is literally life changing. And most people resist change.
"OMG: I will not be able to eat as much ever again"
(Hint: you might not, and most certainly not on a daily basis, but a few years from now you won't actually want to!)
"OMG, I will have to give up <insert favourite item>"
(Hint, and literally that was a game changer for me, you will most certainly have to give up <insert favourite item in favourite quantity> on a <current favourite frequency>, but you most certainly do NOT have to give up *anything* *forever* in order to succeed.
Do you have to change the quantity and frequency... yes, you certainly do.
And some items in a few months or years from now you will decide that they are just not worth the calories and you will quietly notice that your desire for them will be less than your desire to eat other items that you DO find worthwhile.
But giving up items does not have to be forever never to be revisited and it most certainly does not have to be a whole bunch of items all at once.)
You also have to work (and the people around you also have to work) on your relationship with food.
Where you are today, you cannot sustain your current weight without the help of others at home. The people providing that help to you love you, and so they too have to figure out how you, and they, can move to a mental place where you all have a different relationship with your food than you do now.
I can only tell you from my own experience that working through these issues is a game changer.
I was fortunate enough to be at a mental space where I was able to, and willing to, work through them on my own, so I do not know first hand how a professional counsellor would have been able to help me work through them. But I can only suspect that their help would have been... helpful and worthwhile.
Also, I was fortunate, in a way, to not be attached to anyone at the time I made these changes. As you will see from various forum posts, and as I know from my own past personal experience, trying to coordinate food and dieting in the presence of loved ones is an order of magnitude harder than when you're only dealing with yourself.
Again a person who works with you and your family at home, and perhaps even comes in to check on all of you on a regular basis might be best able to help keep everyone on the same page.
It is too early to do so now as you're probably a year or two away from a weight where the advice would make sense. But when you're able to (I.e. when it will become a reasonable deficit), switch to eating like a person of the weight you want to end up being would eat.
The longer you are able to lose at that level of "permanent" eating, the longer you have to develop the habits of what its like to eat (and by that time in the future *move*) like the person you will be going forward.
It truly is not a diet and it truly is a lifestyle change.
BUT there are real rewards to be found in that lifestyle change even if it does not magically make all our problems go away!
And I can assure you that the grief over things changed will be far far far outweighed by the joy found in things that you will now be able to DO and in health improvements for yourself.19 -
What's up bro. If you are that heavy, I don't think that counting calories is necessary at all to lose weight. My experience is that: the heavier you are--the easier it is to lose weight.
Any small changes you make will cause a dramatic weight loss.
I lost 57lbs once just by dropping sugar and junk food---with no exercise or cardio in 5 months.
347lbs to 290lbs3 -
You got this!! congrats on your weight loss so far. 1
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wally2wiki wrote: »What's up bro. If you are that heavy, I don't think that counting calories is necessary at all to lose weight. My experience is that: the heavier you are--the easier it is to lose weight.
Any small changes you make will cause a dramatic weight loss.
I lost 57lbs once just by dropping sugar and junk food---with no exercise or cardio in 5 months.
347lbs to 290lbs
That's awesome that you accomplished that. My favorite things about counting calories are 1) knowing exactly how my intake compares with my needs and what I can expect from it, and 2) not needing to "drop" much of anything1 -
Dani. You can do this, you must do this for you. It is going to be a long term journey and you need to work out a sustainable plan that you can stick to without feeling deprived.
Start logging all that you eat and drink on MFP, be honest with that, open you diary so friends can see and support you and they can suggest change. Try to move a little more, even if it is just at home and step on the spot. I would really like to see you on this journey and for it to be successful for you. If you have any questions just message. Good luck0 -
Welcome back. I truly believe in being imperfect but striving for continuing improvement. So a small change today where you keep the small good habit and improve upon it.
So make today better then yesturday and tommrow better then today.
Small habit changes are better. I suggest you start with a habit of always log before you eat. Then once that hits habit in a few weeks use that data to make another small change.0 -
Thank you guys!! I know that if I'm going to make this work this time, I'm going to have to up my game in terms of consistency.
Sometimes I think people hate because they can tell that I don't tow the line with all the normal body hate stuff. A lot of people, women especially, can treat weigh loss and dieting like a religion, and spew on and on about how terrible it is that they got fat. But I don't look at it that way. Sure, I need to lose weight to increase my mobility and health, but I'm not a terrible person because I got fat. I refuse to hate my body. If that rubs some people the wrong way, too bad.
There is not much point in trying to guess what other ppl think, No-one else's opinion really matters, and for sure you will find a whole range of opinions about weight at all sizes. We are obsessed with it in our culture and that generates lots of varying opinions. Choose your friends from people who can empathise and dont fret about mind-reading the vast arry of other types of ppl.
FWIW I think you will find lots of ppl in here who will offer you support and help. Lots of us understand how weight gain works, how confusing the psychological pulls can be, how easy it is not to take the action we need to help ourselves. Ultimately I suspect my own empathy is driven from the realisation that I could be like you. I have been much heavier than I am now, and thank my lucky stars that I have managed to pull it back somehow, but the possibility of reaching morbidly obese levels is definitely there in my world. Lots of us know that fear of the ever increasing size. And also empathise with the sheer scale of the issue you have to face. It must seem very daunting.
This time (and this is FAR from the first time I've lost weight - so maintainance is always an issue!!) I have turned a corner myself with my psychology. This is what I noticed in your first postings - your confusion about thinking you want to do something and not being able to get on-board with the theory through your actions.
I have always been like this. I have never understood it before. I strongly recommend that you do some reading on this topic. I got enormous insights into this from reading a book recommended by someone else in here.
Charles Duhigg The Power of Habit
For the first time ever I have an understanding of those two competing voices in my head. I now have some strategies for re-programming my habits and for dealing with the (base brain) voice that seeks immediate gratification (mainly food!) which routinely undermines my higher brain ambitions.
I hope you make progress with this, Dani. You are very brave to even post in here, with the possibility that the nasty troll types can come out and screech, but hopefully there are enough of us in here to make you feel safe and supported on this long haul.
All the best, and seriously, this book might help
xxxxx
edit to add I also just ordered the book someone else recommended The Beck Diet Solution cos it sounds useful to add to what I already read. Thanks for that tip.1 -
Dani, what has, and is, helping me most on MFP is reading success stories and taking the tips from them that I feel will work best for me. It can be so overwhelming sometimes. Day by day, week by week, and month by month, your progress and successes will motivate and inspire you to keep going. There may be bad days, but try to just move on and do better the next day! Remember you are not alone!0
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I looked at your diary, which was empty.
Forget about your body weight scale and just start tracking your food. Setting your calorie goals and tracking your calories-in is the primary weight loss benefit of using MFP.6 -
Don't look at this as a diet. Look at it as a lifestyle for a better all around life and better health. You can still enjoy things you love but on a more limited basis. Your body will get used to it and thank you... especially as you start looking weight. Additional weight is a hard burden to carry for anyone. You are worth a better life. Please friend me and I would be happy to motivate and support you on your journey. It is important to stay accountable. You can do this!!!!!!!!!!!0
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Cheering you on, OP! 0
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Hello there, first I'm encouraged by your determination and that your reaching out. Second I noticed that this is from 2013. I would love to see an update on your progress.0
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The first step is always the hardest!!
The thought of changing what I ate FOREVER put me off dieting for good. It's only since calorie counting that I've managed to lose weight. I eat EXACTLY the same things as I ate before (maybe a little more fruit?). I just eat less of it! I still have pizza and chocolate and pasta, I just have less of it. It's a life style change, not a diet. Becoming healthier and eating a bit better is part of it, but you don't need to eliminate anything from your current diet. Just have it less often or less of it1 -
Just read the updates. Welcome back. Getting a good group of support friends will help. You've taken the first step, reaching out. You can do this. Feel free to add me if you'd like.0
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