MFP Personals
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competecompetecompete wrote: »Simple:
Looking for a hot chick who will take the D at least daily, fold and put away my clothes, and not complain about ANYTHING.
I'll be waiting. Just rented more space in my inbox for all you ladies to message me.
Good luck with that
kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Current relationship status:pizza
If you want to change that, bring me a peanut butter banana shake
do you have pineapple and ham?
Bring the shake and then we'll talk.
P. S. Pineapple is my safeword.
small medium or large?
Large, of course! Go big or go home.
watta bout your calorie goals?
Love has no calorie limit.
no wonder im gaining weight i love to eat
I think you're the one for me.
wait..huh? are we still talking about shake and pizza? coz if not we need to take this to kik lol
Once again I am passed over for somebody better looking and with a faster metabolism.
Story of my life!!
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OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Current relationship status:pizza
If you want to change that, bring me a peanut butter banana shake
do you have pineapple and ham?
Bring the shake and then we'll talk.
P. S. Pineapple is my safeword.
small medium or large?
Large, of course! Go big or go home.
watta bout your calorie goals?
Love has no calorie limit.
no wonder im gaining weight i love to eat I think you're the one for me.
wait..huh? are we still talking about shake and pizza? coz if not we need to take this to kik lol
I don't Kik, but I do sleep. I've got rhymes all the time and I think you look mighty fine.
hahaha! man you got bars?
I'm not going to jail for you. No matter how impressive your thumb is.0 -
Attention:
Need a Zombie Apocalypse partner? Well look no further cause here I am!
You don't have to worry about them zombies when I'm around and I'd be super helpful.
As a tiny person I can squeeze into tight spaces and small windows and I'm light so if you need to lift me up to help me reach something it should not be a problem.
I'm an expert climber and I could teach you to climb street signs, poles, drains, walls and ropes.
Not only am I tiny, an expert climber and super charming. I'm also a strong lady who can shoulder press her body weight and deadlift a full grown man if need to. So if you're unconscious I could just lift you up and throw you into a hiding space. See, I'm super helpful like that.
I'm also a very straight forward person with little *kitten* toleration. So there will be no: "do these jeans we found on the dead girls body make my *kitten* look fat" in fact, I don't like wearing trousers at all and much prefer yoga shorts or leggings and before you say leggings aren't pants.. yes they are. They are pants. Deal with it or I'll let the zombies eat you.
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OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Current relationship status:pizza
If you want to change that, bring me a peanut butter banana shake
do you have pineapple and ham?
Bring the shake and then we'll talk.
P. S. Pineapple is my safeword.
small medium or large?
Large, of course! Go big or go home.
watta bout your calorie goals?
Love has no calorie limit.
no wonder im gaining weight i love to eat I think you're the one for me.
wait..huh? are we still talking about shake and pizza? coz if not we need to take this to kik lol
I don't Kik, but I do sleep. I've got rhymes all the time and I think you look mighty fine.
hahaha! man you got bars?
I'm not going to jail for you. No matter how impressive your thumb is.
awwww......you dont wanna be the bonnie to my clyde? lol bars i meant rhymes
I'm too cute for jail, but I can rap for you when I come see you during visiting hours.1 -
Average insecure girl that reeks of cigarette smoke, bad decisions and regret with nice boobs looking for a flexible double jointed average male so we can have average offspring. Preferably you own your own winery/brewery with a pot farm in back. If you have a twin brother, is he open minded? I have some fantasies that need fulfilled.9
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Potty mouth female seeks male with enough balls to put said female in her place when needed. Doesn't mind her sometimes dominate nature. Will go beer tasting and enjoys trying different foods. If you are looking for someone that you question meeting your mother, then I'm your gal.2
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Looking for someone attentive (but don't SMOTHER me, dude!) Physically affectionate (but careful not to tickle me and don't touch my neck - I hate that). Attractive (but not more attractive than me). Sensitive (but OMG, man up!) Likes sports (but not basketball).
Call me. But not too often.8 -
Clingy wino, you’ll love to hate me. I do some pretty amazing tricks with ping pong balls. *kegal*
Hit me up.
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Do you like riding horses on the beach? I like riding horses on the beach. I am riding horses on the beach right now. If you like riding horses on the beach then I'm your riding horses on the beach man. Lets go riding horses on the beach together. Please bring your own horse.6
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Do you like riding horses on the beach? I like riding horses on the beach. I am riding horses on the beach right now. If you like riding horses on the beach then I'm your riding horses on the beach man. Lets go riding horses on the beach together. Please bring your own horse.
I'll meet you at the beach with a bag of carrots.0
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