We broke up because...
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He brought the damn blow up alligator everywhere with us. Insisted it even sit between us.0
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She ran faster than me0
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She could run and i could only crawl0
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The only time I could find him was when he was crawling out of yet another bar0
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She wouldn't go to a dentist. Says everytime she goes her tongue gets depressed0
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Had a sharp tongue0
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Didn't know how to use her tongue!0
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Always spoke in tongues0
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Had a fixation about oral sex and mentioned it on every single post0
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She always wanted to play behind the monster face0
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He needed role play practice0
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Always way behind the times0
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He kept trying to deadlift me while I was sleeping0
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Took an earthquake to wake her up0
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Only slept when the sun was up0
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Smelled like Beef Barley Soup0
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Dumped me for someone named Robin0
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She wouldn't let me give her a pixie cut0
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She was never willing to think outside the box0
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she wouldn't let me stuff her in a box0
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She came home with Pink lipstick on her person
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She threw me a surprise birthday party yesterday... and my birthday is in August...0
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Always bothered me about the small details, it's the thought that counts0
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He counted everything, including every single cheeto that I ate.0
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she was just TOO beautiful LOL
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Her perks were bigger than mine
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She was only with me for the perks0
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Made guacamole with peaches0
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She didn't like my peaches.0
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He ate my ice cream0
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