We broke up because...
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She wouldn't share her ice cream.0
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He asked me to start wearing weight lifting gloves because my calluses were a turn off0
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Insisted on wearing a hoodie every time she lifted0
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She didn't like how silky my hands were.0
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Masculine and feminine pronouns were too mysterious for him.0
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Never happening. .he's mine..mine I tell you bwahahaha
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He was a horder -- of women.0
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He called an Exorcist0
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She gave up all her possessions after the exorcism. I missed some of them.0
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He was too Materialistic0
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She didn't understand that we are living in a material world and I am a material girl... or guy.0
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She was made of material0
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I found out about his surgery
He used to be a she!
Not that there's anything wrong with that!
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She was always making sure to cover all her bases0
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She liked it when her bases were covered0
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She stole my car0
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I gave it back because he never put gas in it0
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Because I was a tenth Doctor fan and she was an eleventh.0
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He was into Doctor Who0
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She wouldn't play doctor0
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Tried playing doctor while I was with my doctor0
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Had to show the doctor what to check.0
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He never got the check0
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She stole my checks and ran me broke.0
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He watched too much American football0
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She wanted me to watch "futbol" instead.0
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She always wanted to watch soccer.0
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He tried to be a soccer player0
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