What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say?

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Replies

  • blakejohn
    blakejohn Posts: 1,129 Member
    OutOfUserName wrote: »
    ive said a few stupid things in my lifetime. meh whateeeva im not perfect -.-

    I've said more than a few stupid, some just down right ridiculous
  • LadyLilion
    LadyLilion Posts: 276 Member
    My ex once argued with me that cartoons would still be in color on a black and white TV.
  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
    Get a rear loading washing machine
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    Jerrypeoples wrote: »
    I work in IT so i have heard a few but this is the one that all others are measured against and what i use to assure people they will never top this

    was on a vacation day so i left a guy instructions on how to access his act database
    1. click start
    2. click my computer
    3. click c drive
    4. etc etc etc

    i come in the next day and he is bitching and crying about how i cost him bonuses because my instructions were wrong.

    i told him there was no way and to show me what he did

    we go to his office, he clicks start and leaves

    im standing there thinking he went to the restroom or what not so i watch him walk down the hallway

    i follow him and approach him as he is sitting @ my desk

    Me: whats wrong?
    Him: see nothing
    Me: what are you talking about?
    Him: im clicking on your computer and nothing is happening.
    Me: WTF are you going on about
    Him: your instructions said click on your computer (see step 2 above)
    Me: seriously whats wrong
    Him: [dead serious and agitated look] your instructions are printed out and say to click on your computer
    Me: it says click my computer, the icon on the right. are you really this stupid?
    Owner then intervenes and tells him to leave my office

    Wow.
    #dumbasrocks
  • vikinglander
    vikinglander Posts: 1,547 Member
    LadyLilion wrote: »
    My ex once argued with me that cartoons would still be in color on a black and white TV.

    Hey...I grew up in the late 50s and early 60s, and my brother and I will tell you for a fact that Bugs Bunny was gray, and Daffy Duck was black.
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  • Poisonedpawn78
    Poisonedpawn78 Posts: 1,145 Member
    I ate food and drank fluids. Why did i gain weight?
  • bepeejaye
    bepeejaye Posts: 775 Member
    kace_kay wrote: »
    My supervisor when I was a student worker at my college:

    "He's from New Mexico so he needs to fill out the foreign exchange student paperwork."

    There was a bad storm at work, so I was counting the seconds between the lightning and thunder, and she corrected me that "you're supposed to count the other way around because nothing travels faster than the speed of sound."

    She thought the Philippines was in South America because "they all have Spanish names".


    Oh my gosh the NM part! I went through a TSA checkpoint. The agent, upon thoroughly examining my NM Driver's License, asked why I do not have a passport....erm....
  • Merkavar
    Merkavar Posts: 3,082 Member
    Jerrypeoples wrote: »
    I work in IT so i have heard a few but this is the one that all others are measured against and what i use to assure people they will never top this

    was on a vacation day so i left a guy instructions on how to access his act database
    1. click start
    2. click my computer
    3. click c drive
    4. etc etc etc

    i come in the next day and he is bitching and crying about how i cost him bonuses because my instructions were wrong.

    i told him there was no way and to show me what he did

    we go to his office, he clicks start and leaves

    im standing there thinking he went to the restroom or what not so i watch him walk down the hallway

    i follow him and approach him as he is sitting @ my desk

    Me: whats wrong?
    Him: see nothing
    Me: what are you talking about?
    Him: im clicking on your computer and nothing is happening.
    Me: WTF are you going on about
    Him: your instructions said click on your computer (see step 2 above)
    Me: seriously whats wrong
    Him: [dead serious and agitated look] your instructions are printed out and say to click on your computer
    Me: it says click my computer, the icon on the right. are you really this stupid?
    Owner then intervenes and tells him to leave my office

    If that happened to me I would have to assume he was doing a bit. Like some stupid IT comedy skit
  • blakejohn
    blakejohn Posts: 1,129 Member
    we can't fit 10 people in a king size bed
  • CaydensMommy
    CaydensMommy Posts: 315 Member
    Yikes! Sounds like a party!
  • rednote49
    rednote49 Posts: 124 Member
    Once a fairly well educated person looked at me and said "I don't believe in dinosaurs". After a few minutes of silence and me blinking in confusion I asked "Sooo what are those things at the Smithsonian?". The reply and I kid you not, he said "Lies created by the US government"
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    Merkavar wrote: »

    If that happened to me I would have to assume he was doing a bit. Like some stupid IT comedy skit

    sadly he was just that stupid. he also copied the database later on and was doing work on the side on his own until the owner caught on and called the detectives. he was prosecuted for theft and a slew of other charges. he tried to implicate me saying i snuck him the files.

    the detectives interviewed me, owner, vice president, hr and accounting. they interviewed me last and they said we are only doing this as part of the process but everyone has given us a clear picture that you really dont like him

  • tcarp8
    tcarp8 Posts: 369 Member
    "I do"
  • vikinglander
    vikinglander Posts: 1,547 Member
    tcarp8 wrote: »
    "I do"

    This is for you:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rU-sCw1xnLU
  • MNTom
    MNTom Posts: 18 Member
    Any quote from the White House.
  • vikinglander
    vikinglander Posts: 1,547 Member
    I read this in someone's MFP profile: "I live in beautiful Minnesota where the cold keeps the bad people out."
  • browneyedgirl749
    browneyedgirl749 Posts: 4,984 Member
    "You know I don't speak Mexican"

    Cher - Clueless
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  • beerfoamy
    beerfoamy Posts: 1,520 Member
    stellawest82 wrote: »
    My mother won't buy a hot tub because she thinks "the squirrels and deer will get in it."

    that completely cracked me up - not so good when supposed to be working. But images of a deer in bathing shorts trying to climb in the hot tub with his squirrel friends! :D:D:D:D

  • browneyedgirl749
    browneyedgirl749 Posts: 4,984 Member
    A guy I work with pronounces Iwakuni as "Irakuni." Um excuse dumb *kitten*, where do see an R in that word?
  • MrStabbems
    MrStabbems Posts: 3,110 Member
    browneyedgirl749 wrote: »
    A guy I work with pronounces Iwakuni as "Irakuni." Um excuse dumb *kitten*, where do see an R in that word?

    Um could he have a speech impediment?

    i never assume someone is dumb because they got the pronunciation or spelling wrong. I have dyslexia and i can occasionally spell something wrong but it doesnt mean im stupid. Same goes for pronunciation, you all you know he may have issues with letter to sound relationships or something else that isnt immediately obvious to the untrained.

    I think thats a little unfair on the lad!
  • browneyedgirl749
    browneyedgirl749 Posts: 4,984 Member
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    browneyedgirl749 wrote: »
    A guy I work with pronounces Iwakuni as "Irakuni." Um excuse dumb *kitten*, where do see an R in that word?

    Um could he have a speech impediment?

    i never assume someone is dumb because they got the pronunciation or spelling wrong. I have dyslexia and i can occasionally spell something wrong but it doesnt mean im stupid. Same goes for pronunciation, you all you know he may have issues with letter to sound relationships or something else that isnt immediately obvious to the untrained.

    I think thats a little unfair on the lad!

    Nope, no speech impediment. He just likes to pronounce words wrong on purpose. I've worked with him for over 6 years. We're on the same team. I've heard him say it correctly before.
  • browneyedgirl749
    browneyedgirl749 Posts: 4,984 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    browneyedgirl749 wrote: »
    A guy I work with pronounces Iwakuni as "Irakuni." Um excuse dumb *kitten*, where do see an R in that word?

    Um, what does excuse dumb kitten mean?

    My bad, I missed a word. It should be excuse me dumb *kitten*. I was eating lunch at the same time I was typing this.
  • LadyLilion
    LadyLilion Posts: 276 Member
    rednote49 wrote: »
    Once a fairly well educated person looked at me and said "I don't believe in dinosaurs". After a few minutes of silence and me blinking in confusion I asked "Sooo what are those things at the Smithsonian?". The reply and I kid you not, he said "Lies created by the US government"

    At least it wasn't "created by Satan to test us." I went to a church once where they had a dino display with "The Truth About the Dinosaurs"...yeah....no dino's in Genesis, so they can't have ever existed...or if they did it was only a day or two before Man, so they all lived happily together.

    BUY A SCIENCE BOOK!

    I do go to church, but not one that takes the "6 days to create the universe" literally.

  • nevadavis1
    nevadavis1 Posts: 331 Member
    itsy_bitsy_spider wrote: »
    Caporegiem wrote: »
    Coworker: My printer says I need to change the yellow toner, what should I do?

    Me: You *kitten* serious?

    So embarrassed to admit this is 100% me. Lol. So many questions... Like now-now, or just soon? And how? And where is it, exactly? Do I change it to another yellow or a different color? And wtf is toner?

    *Massive sigh*..Toner toner toner has done it again...

    Yeah, once I temped in an office and the printer said "replace black toner." There were toner boxes right on the shelf, so I opened the printer, took the old toner out... Then the boss came in and stopped me: "We usually just shake it and put it back in for a while when it says to replace it." So, don't assume.
  • PL4TNM
    PL4TNM Posts: 85 Member
    Once @gottabeeleighv said I couldn't take her down with her own pudding pops
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