Parents on here I need advice, my daughter is seeing a guy way older than her
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PikaJoyJoy wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »I feel terribly sorry for this poor young lady
Why do you say that I'm teaching her the ropes
What ropes? Daddy manages your sex life?
No of how guys his age trying to get with her is aiming for one thing
You are way too worried about your daughter's vagina. Stay out of her sex life please.
I have to say that there are enough easy women out there that if he was only interested in one thing he could probably find it easier somewhere else. If he's taking her out and enjoying time with her and it's consentual then stay out of it. Hell they might just be f buddies, still not your business.
Sounds like mom met him because maybe she's level headed and doesn't come off as an intimidating abusive jerk.
No mom met him because my house rule is everyone has to come in the house . And he's disrespecting the house by picking up my daughter and not coming in
What? He's not disrespecting the house at all.
My rules are if you're going out you have to come in the house if you don't it's disrespect
But you said they're just friends so why does he have to come into the house?
And how do you know you're daughter isn't the one telling him not to?0 -
WendyLeigh1119 wrote: »HeliumIsNoble wrote: »
If you were his daughter, would you have been sharing any personal details about activity with previous boyfriends?WendyLeigh1119 wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »You're daughter is a full blown adult. End of story.
That doesn't make a mom stop worrying like every mom does and should. And the other poster is right. If it's under her roof, it's 100% her business. I had to stay with my parents for a brief stint of 6 months between houses and even though I was 28 and a mom with a kid... I followed their rules, their curfew, and paid them rent.
This situation would fully concern me as well. Did you miss the part where her daughter is a VIRGIN at 22 years old?
Me personally? Lol.... my parents were MUCH stricter than this guy. They already had the background info on every dude long before I gave them any details willingly. And they were right to do so. They still check out my current boyfriend. And so do I. That's the reasonable thing to do regardless of age. All this hand-wringing is useless. Check him out. Social Media, criminal info, credit, former girlfriends. The whole bag. If he doesn't accept a person being responsible, he's hiding something anyway and should be dismissed.
That's all well and good, but what can you do if your adult daughter/son still wishes to see someone despite the information. There really isn't anything he can do in this situation.0 -
WendyLeigh1119 wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »WendyLeigh1119 wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »You're daughter is a full blown adult. End of story.
That doesn't make a mom stop worrying like every mom does and should. And the other poster is right. If it's under her roof, it's 100% her business. I had to stay with my parents for a brief stint of 6 months between houses and even though I was 28 and a mom with a kid... I followed their rules, their curfew, and paid them rent.
This situation would fully concern me as well. Did you miss the part where her daughter is a VIRGIN at 22 years old?
Did you miss the part where 22 means adult and just because it his business doesn't mean there is anything he can do about it? Concern is one thing, asserting some sort of dominance over his adult daughters life is another. What else?
No, it's that any parent who claims they "stop parenting" at the magical age of legal adulthood are liars. A 22 year old is mentally a baby.
And rent or no rent, she's in his home and he has 100% right to parent her. If she doesn't want to be directly patented, she can get her "adult" self an apartment.
And I already said the Dad should be background and criminal checking this dude out. Rather than talking about meeting up (to fight? talk? I dunno, that's unclear). Talking to him is useless if he's an accomplished liar and criminal. Which is what he should be looking into and then calmly urging his daughter to understand that a man much older seeking a 22 year old, virginal girlfriend is likely a sicko/pervert.
Tenant laws, disagree with; the bolded!1 -
WendyLeigh1119 wrote: »PikaJoyJoy wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »I feel terribly sorry for this poor young lady
Why do you say that I'm teaching her the ropes
What ropes? Daddy manages your sex life?
No of how guys his age trying to get with her is aiming for one thing
You are way too worried about your daughter's vagina. Stay out of her sex life please.
I have to say that there are enough easy women out there that if he was only interested in one thing he could probably find it easier somewhere else. If he's taking her out and enjoying time with her and it's consentual then stay out of it. Hell they might just be f buddies, still not your business.
Sounds like mom met him because maybe she's level headed and doesn't come off as an intimidating abusive jerk.
No mom met him because my house rule is everyone has to come in the house . And he's disrespecting the house by picking up my daughter and not coming in
What? He's not disrespecting the house at all.
Yes, that's traditionally disrespectful. Gentlemen don't sit outside and honk the horn. They come to the door to pick a woman up. Including when you live alone. That's pretty commonly universal. This guy was clearly raised wrong and sadly... his daughter isn't demanding respect, either. Running out to jump in his car? Ugh. That's sad.
Just because people don't date like you and the OP, doesn't automatically make him wrong, disrespectful or hiding something.
Actually a lot of people (these days) tend to do date and WHEN they feel like the relationship is actually serious and may be leading to more, THEN they'll do the whole "meet the parents."
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_notorious_ wrote: »Tldr- but...
A man your daughters age is probably going to be immature, annoying and all sorts of other really awful things...
I've always dated men at least 5 years older because I can't handle the immaturity level of the ones closer to my age.
So really- count your blessings.
Also.. you have boundary issues.
If the guy was 5 years older I'd be okay but nearly 10 ? No
So 5 years and younger don't need to be checked in?0 -
BattleRopes wrote: »WendyLeigh1119 wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »WendyLeigh1119 wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »You're daughter is a full blown adult. End of story.
That doesn't make a mom stop worrying like every mom does and should. And the other poster is right. If it's under her roof, it's 100% her business. I had to stay with my parents for a brief stint of 6 months between houses and even though I was 28 and a mom with a kid... I followed their rules, their curfew, and paid them rent.
This situation would fully concern me as well. Did you miss the part where her daughter is a VIRGIN at 22 years old?
Did you miss the part where 22 means adult and just because it his business doesn't mean there is anything he can do about it? Concern is one thing, asserting some sort of dominance over his adult daughters life is another. What else?
No, it's that any parent who claims they "stop parenting" at the magical age of legal adulthood are liars. A 22 year old is mentally a baby.
And rent or no rent, she's in his home and he has 100% right to parent her. If she doesn't want to be directly patented, she can get her "adult" self an apartment.
And I already said the Dad should be background and criminal checking this dude out. Rather than talking about meeting up (to fight? talk? I dunno, that's unclear). Talking to him is useless if he's an accomplished liar and criminal. Which is what he should be looking into and then calmly urging his daughter to understand that a man much older seeking a 22 year old, virginal girlfriend is likely a sicko/pervert.
Tenant laws, disagree with; the bolded!
It's been proven judges don't side with the whole "it's the parents house so kids forgo tenant rights" when they are paying rent.0 -
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PikaJoyJoy wrote: »PikaJoyJoy wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »I feel terribly sorry for this poor young lady
Why do you say that I'm teaching her the ropes
What ropes? Daddy manages your sex life?
No of how guys his age trying to get with her is aiming for one thing
You are way too worried about your daughter's vagina. Stay out of her sex life please.
I have to say that there are enough easy women out there that if he was only interested in one thing he could probably find it easier somewhere else. If he's taking her out and enjoying time with her and it's consentual then stay out of it. Hell they might just be f buddies, still not your business.
Sounds like mom met him because maybe she's level headed and doesn't come off as an intimidating abusive jerk.
No mom met him because my house rule is everyone has to come in the house . And he's disrespecting the house by picking up my daughter and not coming in
What? He's not disrespecting the house at all.
My rules are if you're going out you have to come in the house if you don't it's disrespect
But you said they're just friends so why does he have to come into the house?
And how do you know you're daughter isn't the one telling him not to?
Even if she is ? He's a man he should know
So it's not okay to be disrespectful to "her" if he doesn't talk to you but it's okay to be disrespectful to her if he sidesteps her wishes if she's the one who is telling him to avoid you?4 -
PikaJoyJoy wrote: »WendyLeigh1119 wrote: »PikaJoyJoy wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »I feel terribly sorry for this poor young lady
Why do you say that I'm teaching her the ropes
What ropes? Daddy manages your sex life?
No of how guys his age trying to get with her is aiming for one thing
You are way too worried about your daughter's vagina. Stay out of her sex life please.
I have to say that there are enough easy women out there that if he was only interested in one thing he could probably find it easier somewhere else. If he's taking her out and enjoying time with her and it's consentual then stay out of it. Hell they might just be f buddies, still not your business.
Sounds like mom met him because maybe she's level headed and doesn't come off as an intimidating abusive jerk.
No mom met him because my house rule is everyone has to come in the house . And he's disrespecting the house by picking up my daughter and not coming in
What? He's not disrespecting the house at all.
Yes, that's traditionally disrespectful. Gentlemen don't sit outside and honk the horn. They come to the door to pick a woman up. Including when you live alone. That's pretty commonly universal. This guy was clearly raised wrong and sadly... his daughter isn't demanding respect, either. Running out to jump in his car? Ugh. That's sad.
Just because people don't date like you and the OP, doesn't automatically make him wrong, disrespectful or hiding something.
Actually a lot of people (these days) tend to do date and WHEN they feel like the relationship is actually serious and may be leading to more, THEN they'll do the whole "meet the parents."
Meeting the parents before you even truly know how serious the relationship is, just makes it that much more awkward. Especially if there is a hot head father asking for intentions and marriage proposals before I even know if she likes the star wars films and enjoys the out doors.1 -
Step 1: Birth control!
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Poisonedpawn78 wrote: »PikaJoyJoy wrote: »WendyLeigh1119 wrote: »PikaJoyJoy wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »I feel terribly sorry for this poor young lady
Why do you say that I'm teaching her the ropes
What ropes? Daddy manages your sex life?
No of how guys his age trying to get with her is aiming for one thing
You are way too worried about your daughter's vagina. Stay out of her sex life please.
I have to say that there are enough easy women out there that if he was only interested in one thing he could probably find it easier somewhere else. If he's taking her out and enjoying time with her and it's consentual then stay out of it. Hell they might just be f buddies, still not your business.
Sounds like mom met him because maybe she's level headed and doesn't come off as an intimidating abusive jerk.
No mom met him because my house rule is everyone has to come in the house . And he's disrespecting the house by picking up my daughter and not coming in
What? He's not disrespecting the house at all.
Yes, that's traditionally disrespectful. Gentlemen don't sit outside and honk the horn. They come to the door to pick a woman up. Including when you live alone. That's pretty commonly universal. This guy was clearly raised wrong and sadly... his daughter isn't demanding respect, either. Running out to jump in his car? Ugh. That's sad.
Just because people don't date like you and the OP, doesn't automatically make him wrong, disrespectful or hiding something.
Actually a lot of people (these days) tend to do date and WHEN they feel like the relationship is actually serious and may be leading to more, THEN they'll do the whole "meet the parents."
Meeting the parents before you even truly know how serious the relationship is, just makes it that much more awkward. Especially if there is a hot head father asking for intentions and marriage proposals before I even know if she likes the star wars films and enjoys the out doors.
I raise my children differently .. sorry
Except apparently you didn't. If your rule is that the guy comes to the house when picking up, it is your daughter who is being disrespectful.1 -
Poisonedpawn78 wrote: »PikaJoyJoy wrote: »WendyLeigh1119 wrote: »PikaJoyJoy wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »I feel terribly sorry for this poor young lady
Why do you say that I'm teaching her the ropes
What ropes? Daddy manages your sex life?
No of how guys his age trying to get with her is aiming for one thing
You are way too worried about your daughter's vagina. Stay out of her sex life please.
I have to say that there are enough easy women out there that if he was only interested in one thing he could probably find it easier somewhere else. If he's taking her out and enjoying time with her and it's consentual then stay out of it. Hell they might just be f buddies, still not your business.
Sounds like mom met him because maybe she's level headed and doesn't come off as an intimidating abusive jerk.
No mom met him because my house rule is everyone has to come in the house . And he's disrespecting the house by picking up my daughter and not coming in
What? He's not disrespecting the house at all.
Yes, that's traditionally disrespectful. Gentlemen don't sit outside and honk the horn. They come to the door to pick a woman up. Including when you live alone. That's pretty commonly universal. This guy was clearly raised wrong and sadly... his daughter isn't demanding respect, either. Running out to jump in his car? Ugh. That's sad.
Just because people don't date like you and the OP, doesn't automatically make him wrong, disrespectful or hiding something.
Actually a lot of people (these days) tend to do date and WHEN they feel like the relationship is actually serious and may be leading to more, THEN they'll do the whole "meet the parents."
Meeting the parents before you even truly know how serious the relationship is, just makes it that much more awkward. Especially if there is a hot head father asking for intentions and marriage proposals before I even know if she likes the star wars films and enjoys the out doors.
I raise my children differently .. sorry
Guess what. That's all good and fine but if you're "grown" children decide they want to handle something differently , you should respect that. You're going on about how disrespectful you think this guy is being to your daughter while you are actually being quite disrespectful to her as well.
Maybe instead of putting the issues on the internet, you should consider family counseling first. (And I jump to counseling right off the bat because seeing your responses on this thread doesn't bode well with the advice to sit down and talk to your daughter about this)1 -
PikaJoyJoy wrote: »Most of you guys up here are coming at me but explain this he knows that I don't like the idea of my daughter hanging with him and that I think he's using her so why hasn't he come to me like a grown man to prove me other wise. I blocked his car in last month and asked him "what were his intentions and when was he coming to see me " he still hasn't came ! I also found his Facebook and added him he didn't add me back
Wow. Really? You're upset he didn't add you to his FB after you block him in? I can't even with this.
Right? He admits to doing illegal things and using intimidation tactics on the guy and expects him to meet him on his turf for what? A showdown? Dad should have been arrested but wasn't, already hates him for being born the wrong year, and obviously doesn't mind confronting people. I'm sure he is probable scared to go in the house and yet he's still seeing the daughter lol.
Also, yeah he went in the house and followed the rules. Picking up is exactly that. You stop, person gets in car, you leave. I would not follow your silly rule each time I come over but that's just me and I often run late.
You need to step back a bit and let your daughter be an adult. You are creating a hostile environment for everyone.
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PikaJoyJoy wrote: »WendyLeigh1119 wrote: »PikaJoyJoy wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »abetterme9366 wrote: »I feel terribly sorry for this poor young lady
Why do you say that I'm teaching her the ropes
What ropes? Daddy manages your sex life?
No of how guys his age trying to get with her is aiming for one thing
You are way too worried about your daughter's vagina. Stay out of her sex life please.
I have to say that there are enough easy women out there that if he was only interested in one thing he could probably find it easier somewhere else. If he's taking her out and enjoying time with her and it's consentual then stay out of it. Hell they might just be f buddies, still not your business.
Sounds like mom met him because maybe she's level headed and doesn't come off as an intimidating abusive jerk.
No mom met him because my house rule is everyone has to come in the house . And he's disrespecting the house by picking up my daughter and not coming in
What? He's not disrespecting the house at all.
Yes, that's traditionally disrespectful. Gentlemen don't sit outside and honk the horn. They come to the door to pick a woman up. Including when you live alone. That's pretty commonly universal. This guy was clearly raised wrong and sadly... his daughter isn't demanding respect, either. Running out to jump in his car? Ugh. That's sad.
Just because people don't date like you and the OP, doesn't automatically make him wrong, disrespectful or hiding something.
Actually a lot of people (these days) tend to do date and WHEN they feel like the relationship is actually serious and may be leading to more, THEN they'll do the whole "meet the parents."
Not like meeting parents and having a chat. Literally it's rude to not come up and knock, even if you both scuttle away. It's disrespectful to the woman who's doing the dating. As an adult woman, I'd definitely cancel a date with a guy who didn't come to my door properly. It's a sign of not thinking the woman is "worth" merely getting off your *kitten* and going to the door. It really has little to do with parents/no parents. It's just rude in general.1
This discussion has been closed.
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