We broke up because...
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She decided she liked women after we had a threesome0
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I'm lesbian0
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He turned into a werewolf and I am just not that into beastiality0
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When I said I wanted to try new adventures, he thought pushing me down the stairs would be a good start0
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She was afraid of the stairs for some reason. Wouldn't ever come to bed with me, she slept on the couch.0
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I always came home to strangers in my bed so I ended up having to sleep on the couch0
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I gave her such a great kiss that I left her deformed for the rest of her life. She couldn't handle that.0
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lol ^ She kept going from friends house to friends house sleeping on their couches and drinking all their beer0
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He couldn't out drink me, I needed someone that could keep up0
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She kept drinking all my beer before I got home from the gym then she'd pass out. No dinner no nookie, so sad.
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Oh, I got dinner and nookie, he just didn't like that I got them before he got home0
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She was feeding and taking care of another guy and she gave him all my beer. You can take the girl out of the trailer park but not the trailer park out of the girl.0
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He slept with my girl, oh well bro's before ho's0
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He called me a ho
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She was too wild0
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She wouldn't stop singing "Born To Be Wild" in her sleep...1
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he had a thing for a sponge that lived in a pineapple under the sea.0
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He didn't eat enough pineapple for my liking0
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I can't even even tell you why!0
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I had allergic reactions to all of his addictions...0
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He was too allergic to my dirty side0
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She was too diiiiirty 0
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I was tired of bathing her and changing her diapers0
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She grew tired of me celebrating our anniversary only on prime-numbered years...0
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He was very ocd0
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She wouldn't agree that it really should be cdo0
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Her face got caught in the vacuum hose0
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