Married and flirty....?
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rickiimarieee wrote: »Not looking for any attention or I would of posted with my boobs out and what not mainly just looking for friends to keep up the motivation!
You and me both brother if I had boobs I'd put them on display like a for sale sign
oh me too. I'd wear one of those necklaces that hangs in the cleavage.
::sigh::0 -
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rickiimarieee wrote: »@Will_Run_4_Food there's many things that play into the factor for my marriage. Plus I want to be healthy for my wedding not going through chemotherapy so thank you.
I am sorry to hear that you are going through chemotherapy. I breathe in your pain, and I breathe out loving kindness for you. And I hope most fervently that you too find the path of loving kindness and openness. The path without judgment of others; the path without feeling some need to feel better than others...to feel better than strangers.
We all deal with insecurity, illness, and pain.
I find that the more I love others, the kinder I am to others, the happier I am, and the more able I am to deal with my insecurity, illness, and pain.
To call others pathetic is not the way. It is just not the way.7 -
I didn't call them pathetic I called this thread pathetic. I called the actions done pathetic. Doesn't mean they're pathetic people or anything. I just see the actions as wrong.2
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But thank you much for the kind wishes!0
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@Cutaway_Collar me personally I wouldn't and I don't know anyone that would be okay with it. But I assume some marriages out there are open.1
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »In open marriages I have known, one is always jealous because of the lack of action. Only one is more successful in getting laid. It always ends badly.
As to people here who may be telling others that their spouses are okay with it are just lying
Exactly! But if they aren't lying and their spouse is okay with it, they better start analyzing their marriage. Because if two people truly love each other, flirting with someone else wouldn't even appeal to them.0 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
No spouse is okay with it.rickiimarieee wrote: »Ironandwine69 that's why I said above if your spouse is okay with it, do your thing. But if they aren't and you're hiding it then it's a problem. But hey to each their own.
Wrong.6 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »In open marriages I have known, one is always jealous because of the lack of action. Only one is more successful in getting laid. It always ends badly.
As to people here who may be telling others that their spouses are okay with it are just lying
Exactly! But if they aren't lying and their spouse is okay with it, they better start analyzing their marriage. Because if two people truly love each other, flirting with someone else wouldn't even appeal to them.
Love and flirting are not the same thing. Even love and sex are not the same thing.5 -
rickiimarieee wrote: »@Cutaway_Collar me personally I wouldn't and I don't know anyone that would be okay with it. But I assume some marriages out there are open.
People that are truly in open marriages don't tell their friends and family that they their marriage is open. So you wouldn't know.
Go to a swing club on a Saturday night, you won't find parking ( not that swinging is having an open relationship)3 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »In open marriages I have known, one is always jealous because of the lack of action. Only one is more successful in getting laid. It always ends badly.
As to people here who may be telling others that their spouses are okay with it are just lying
Exactly! But if they aren't lying and their spouse is okay with it, they better start analyzing their marriage. Because if two people truly love each other, flirting with someone else wouldn't even appeal to them.
Love and flirting are not the same thing. Even love and sex are not the same thing.
Of course they aren't. Who the hell said they were? Flirting is showing off, having some fun, getting noticed and you don't have deep emotional feelings for the person - like, maybe, love, NO. And sex, oh, yeah, carnal desires, biological release, a simple pleasure - yeah exactly - it's not the same as love and doesn't require love. Marriage requires love, communication, commitment, loyalty to each other, trust and honesty. You don't have that or can't give that, and you would rather flirt and have uncomplicated sex without love, don't get married!2 -
TeacupsAndToning wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
No spouse is okay with it.rickiimarieee wrote: »Ironandwine69 that's why I said above if your spouse is okay with it, do your thing. But if they aren't and you're hiding it then it's a problem. But hey to each their own.
Mine is and I am.
So is mine and I.
Happily married, been together for 12 years.
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Ironandwine69 wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »In open marriages I have known, one is always jealous because of the lack of action. Only one is more successful in getting laid. It always ends badly.
As to people here who may be telling others that their spouses are okay with it are just lying
Exactly! But if they aren't lying and their spouse is okay with it, they better start analyzing their marriage. Because if two people truly love each other, flirting with someone else wouldn't even appeal to them.
Love and flirting are not the same thing. Even love and sex are not the same thing.
Of course they aren't. Who the hell said they were? Flirting is showing off, having some fun, getting noticed and you don't have deep emotional feelings for the person - like, maybe, love, NO. And sex, oh, yeah, carnal desires, biological release, a simple pleasure - yeah exactly - it's not the same as love and doesn't require love. Marriage requires love, communication, commitment, loyalty to each other, trust and honesty. You don't have that or can't give that, and you would rather flirt and have uncomplicated sex without love, don't get married!
But....you can love someone and have a great relationship AND be mature about the fact that your spouse will find other people attractive. And that has nothing to do with you, or be a threat to your love and relationship. And being able to be honest about that with your spouse is the highest level of trust there is.5 -
I think it boils down to ego. People who get upset about their SO flirting are subconsciously worried about the bruising their ego might take. My wife is touchy about it to a degree but she knows I'm "flirty." I don't set out to do it but apparently I flirt. I couldn't care less if guys look at her or she is flirty with someone else by chance. I can't and wouldn't want to control her in any way so I don't worry about the "what ifs."0
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I think it boils down to ego. People who get upset about their SO flirting are subconsciously worried about the bruising their ego might take. My wife is touchy about it to a degree but she knows I'm "flirty." I don't set out to do it but apparently I flirt. I couldn't care less if guys look at her or she is flirty with someone else by chance. I can't and wouldn't want to control her in any way so I don't worry about the "what ifs."
I think it has to do with self confidence.
Either my husband flirts or not, has nothing to do with who I am, or who much he loves me.
Most people are not okay with it because they look at it as a threat. It's not. If some person your spouse barely knows is a threat to your relationship, then you got bigger problems.4
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