Serial Starters

Sara - thank you so much! You were my very first order...I got 2 yesterday! I really appreciate the order!

Hope your toe isn't too sore for pedi... injured toes can really be a pain (literally and figuratively..hehe)

Hope your weekend is going great!
Thank you again

Sara - I hope you got or will get more rest today. How is your weather out there? Better or still hot?

Lana

Lana - Boyfriend has good and bad days with his illness. He usually isn't too sick to join us - just, last night he ended up having an insomnia attack and as a result, when he tried to wake up this morning, his stomach just went "nope, eff you, we're not doing this." That...happens sometimes. He's doing better now that he took a nap and slept it off, but sadly, my father has already gone home.

My father isn't going to disapprove, is the thing...I just want to be able to present things so he's more pleased than neutral. That's why I was aiming for Thanksgiving - I want to be able to show off how much better the apartment looks since the ex-roommate moved out and the boyfriend moved in; I want to show him how nicely we've worked out our arrangements and how good we've gotten at handling big things (like, say, planning a family holiday dinner)...I just generally want to show him that there's something to look forward to here. He likes my boyfriend well enough...I just want this to be a positive thing for the whole family.

We definitely do want to go through with getting married though - considering nearly half the country still wants to deny us the right, there's a small aspect of spite to it, but it's also because...well, due to that whole debate we are intimately familiar with the benefits that are at stake and they're pretty important to us (especially things like hospital visitation - with his illness? The idea of not being legally family if he has another flare like the one he had shortly before we met is terrifying to both of us). Plus...we're not naive enough to completely count out the possibility of divorce (I'm pretty sure that if we were, it would shoot the probability up to 99%), but we have sat down and taken a good hard look at things like common causes of divorce and we have exactly 0 of the warning signs. The closest thing we have is that there's a high divorce rate for people with illnesses like his...but it's because the healthier partner usually goes into it thinking, on some level, that they'll be able to magically cure it with the power of love because that's what Hollywood says happens. We've...had basically the opposite experience; I went into this nervous because I knew he might only get worse, I might not be able to take care of him on my own, I might have to find a way to pull enough money out of my butt to pay for in-home care services and I would have hated myself if that ruined not just our relationship but our friendship - instead, we've built up his strength to where he can function fairly normally a lot of the time, he's stopped needing several of his medications, we've discovered that causal link between stress and flares and are learning ways to work around it, and all kinds of other improvements that seem to be doable. We don't know when we'll hit the limit of how much better things can be, or if another bad flare will happen and we'll have to go back to square one, but...we're both aware of and ready (or at least, as ready as one can be) for that.

...tl;dr: we've thought it over...a lot. We definitely want to do this.

Morning everyone.

Well, today is...a very off day. I'm not going to school today because I'm so tense that I'm dizzy and nauseous and feeling my hair on the back of my neck hurts.

Fun fact: we're planning the wedding in Vegas.

Fun fact #2: we were planning on touring the likely venue this weekend, but communication was slow and my father came over so we had to reschedule.

...yeah. We may have narrowly avoided disaster just by "bad" luck.

This on top of the fact that I was already feeling discouraged after having gotten dressed up last night...I always think I don't really have that much left to lose, until I put on the corset I have and I find myself spilling over the top no matter how loosely I lace it, and I always have mixed feelings about that - because on the one hand, it makes me realize that my frame is much smaller than I'd always been led to believe and there is a good possibility I'll one day be able to fit into most of the clothes I want, but...on the other hand, god, I have so far left to go. Sometimes I feel like nothing has really changed since I was at my highest weight.

My challenge for today is going to be trying to channel this stress into something productive instead of just eating everything in the house.

Sara - not sure if you got an email... but, I got one saying yer order has been shipped

Sara - I understand... you are welcome... hope your goodies come soon... have a great night....