Dear Dr. MFP: Are you in a conundrum? Do you need bad advice? Ask away!

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Replies

  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    peppermintpudgy wrote: »
    Doctor: I've got 2 hours at the Denver airport waiting for a connection. What should I do?

    People watching and making up stories about them is always fun. So is going to the walking conveyor belts, doing tricks/funny stuff on them then posting it on youtube for us to watch.
  • beagletracks
    beagletracks Posts: 6,034 Member
    edited October 2017
    RunHardBeStrong wrote: »
    peppermintpudgy wrote: »
    Doctor: I've got 2 hours at the Denver airport waiting for a connection. What should I do?

    People watching and making up stories about them is always fun. So is going to the walking conveyor belts, doing tricks/funny stuff on them then posting it on youtube for us to watch.

    Oops. Got started self medicating!

    gngd39de9s6o.jpg

    But I'm pretty sure the dude next to me watching Grey's Anatomy in his phone a. Got the double I ordered and b. has somebody chained in his basement.

    Also the middle aged blonde lady in the booth across from me has a really bad yeast infection!

    Rehearsing for my YouTube performance!
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    peppermintpudgy wrote: »
    RunHardBeStrong wrote: »
    peppermintpudgy wrote: »
    Doctor: I've got 2 hours at the Denver airport waiting for a connection. What should I do?

    People watching and making up stories about them is always fun. So is going to the walking conveyor belts, doing tricks/funny stuff on them then posting it on youtube for us to watch.

    Oops. Got started self medicating!

    gngd39de9s6o.jpg

    But I'm pretty sure the dude next to me watching Grey's Anatomy in his phone a. Got the double I ordered and b. has somebody chained in his basement.

    Also the middle aged blonde lady in the booth across from me has a really bad yeast infection!

    Rehearsing for my YouTube performance!

    Haha! I love it. And I want your lunch!
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    How can we make the word "nudes". disappear from the vocabulary? You read it on every other sentence and I wanna stab myself with a butter knife.
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    Ironandwine69 wrote: »
    How can we make the word "nudes". disappear from the vocabulary? You read it on every other sentence and I wanna stab myself with a butter knife.

    Replace it with nakies? Unfortunateky the word will always be around in some form because people are always going to want them.
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    pekovic_m wrote: »
    Doc, I'm happily sad. What's wrong with me?

    I would say nothing is necessarily wrong with you. Life is crap sometimes. There can be good things going on all around you yet you don't feel whole or you feel like something is missing. You may need to find that missing piece.
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  • pudgy1977
    pudgy1977 Posts: 13,499 Member
    Dear MFP I'm very hungover and have 15 people coming over for family breakfast...how do I make it?
  • HealthyAshes88888
    HealthyAshes88888 Posts: 1,248 Member
    pudgy1977 wrote: »
    Dear MFP I'm very hungover and have 15 people coming over for family breakfast...how do I make it?

    Text everyone last minute telling them to bring a dish to pass. Don't cook anything.
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    HealthyAshes88888 wrote: »
    pudgy1977 wrote: »
    Dear MFP I'm very hungover and have 15 people coming over for family breakfast...how do I make it?

    Text everyone last minute telling them to bring a dish to pass. Don't cook anything.

    Ha! Great idea. Otherwise, lots of water, ibuprofen and hope for the best.
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  • revoboy
    revoboy Posts: 15 Member
    edited October 2017
    None, but you have a fondness for strangers apparently. If you find yourself randomly following people, but ONLY those on your favorite "numb" side, try to resist any unclean urges you may have.
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  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
    hellvee wrote: »
    Dear dr MFP I feel a pressure in my stomach and I am passing a ton of gas

    Happy thanksgiving
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  • nolan44219
    nolan44219 Posts: 1,221 Member
    Dr. Mfp,
    Someone on the couch is snoring really loud during the KC HOU game. Would pressing a pillow over there face be a crime?
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
    nolan44219 wrote: »
    Dr. Mfp,
    Someone on the couch is snoring really loud during the KC HOU game. Would pressing a pillow over there face be a crime?

    Only if you don’t hold it long enough
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    My SO gave me a rare STD, I've just found out the whole street has it..should I be suspicious and what should I do?.
  • xFunctionalStrengthx
    xFunctionalStrengthx Posts: 4,928 Member
    slimgirljo15 wrote: »
    beingmore1 wrote: »
    slimgirljo15 wrote: »
    Dr, I got the feelz for someone and it's not reciprocated, what should I do?

    Im thinking take him by force and make him like me, stalk and harrass... but Im open to other suggestions

    Message all his lady friends and tell them he’s yours, then send him your underpants. It’s official after that.
    sfertch wrote: »
    slimgirljo15 wrote: »
    Dr, I got the feelz for someone and it's not reciprocated, what should I do?

    Im thinking take him by force and make him like me, stalk and harrass... but Im open to other suggestions

    Perhaps you need to get a club, and knock him over the head like cavemen did with the women they wanted?
    RunHardBeStrong wrote: »
    slimgirljo15 wrote: »
    Dr, I got the feelz for someone and it's not reciprocated, what should I do?

    Im thinking take him by force and make him like me, stalk and harrass... but Im open to other suggestions

    Most guys like some aggression. Throw in a little choking and he is good as yours.


    Okay ..got it.. Have messaged his lady friends and sent him my undies. I intend to knock him off his bike, choke him and club him for good measure. At last he'll be mine :heart:


    Ermmm @sfertch, what bike track you travelling tomorrow? asking for a friend :laugh:

    Uhh, I think I'm going to stay indoors at this point... :scream:
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  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    abetterme9366 wrote: »
    Dear doc,

    I have a friend who is going through a hard time. She is a victim of her own game. She doesn’t listen to the advice she asks for and it seems as though at this point, she is only using me to validate her own actions and bad decisions. As her friend, I support her, because I care about her but she is slowly draining me. How do I continue to be her support without becoming resentful and bitter about the situation? I’m to the point where reaching out to feels like an obligation and that’s not the friend I want to be.

    Honestly there comes a time when you just have to speak your mind. Tell her she is draining on you. I would rather have a friend tell me the hurtful truth than a friend that just goes along with my sabotaging ways in order to spare my feelings. Good luck.
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »
    Dear Dr. MFP, I think my dog is racist. What do I do?

    Does he discriminate against other breeds? You may have to leave him at a kennel for a few days and just make him deal with it.
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    happimess1 wrote: »
    Hey Doc,
    5 times a week i sit on my arm untill i lose all feeling and then use the dead arm to play with myself. What are the chances of me turning into a necrophiliac?

    Highly likely. Stay away from morgues from now on.

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