Less alcohol- February 2018- one day at a time
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Hi All! I was thinking back to last week when I met my teacher friends. We went to at a local , upscale bar after work. My friends ordered two wines each, and I ordered club soda. We ordered four appetizers to share. Then, Another guy sat down next to me at the bar. He ordered a club soda and an appetizer.
Then, all of a sudden, the normally cordial, professional bartender turned around and muttered frustratingly under his breath, "God, another club soda taking up a space."
The other soda drinker just looked at me stunned. I was stunned, too. Over the years, I've spent thousands of dollars at this upscale bar. Bartender even knows my name. So, the other club soda guy turned to me and said did he just say that? I said, "yep".
The man said, "I was just in here last week drinking wine with my friends, but today, I just wanted to eat and not drink."
Without passing judgment on bartender, (maybe he was having a bad day or maybe we were taking up space of an alcohol paying customer) I was really stunned. We both ordered food. We were former alcohol drinking customers.
Anyway, I think it was a good life lesson. Dont take anything personally. Of course, the embarrassment didn't last long. And the other guy and I had a meaningful conversation about life and life's lessons. And I left happy and sober. But it is a little life lesson on how people will look at you differently when you don't drink. I'm not bothered by it, but it was a little jarring.
P.s. The other club soda drinker told me he left a huge tip to the bartender to make up for the space he took not drinking. One last thing, When I was in Nashville ordering my club soda all weekend, I did leave more tip than the club soda to compensate the bartenders.4 -
springsweet wrote: »lporter229 wrote: »Valentine's dinner with my husband last night was a success. Our tradition is to cook a nice meal together, which usually involves drinks while cooking, wine with dinner, then at leas tone night cap, and usually ends with me not remembering going to bed. Last night we both brought home a bottle of wine. When we opened the first one I declared that when that was gone, we would not open the second one. It was not a problem because we did not even finish the first one
We had a wonderful dinner together and I remember exactly how it ended. I especially love that, without really even discussing the matter, my husband has taken my cue and is cutting back on drinking too.
That is so great! Congrats on your success @lporter229 !
Am I the only one here whose spouse drinks less than they do? Like significantly less? I've never seen him drunk. He says he's never been drunk. Crazy, I know.
But he's never judged my drinking. Even when sometimes I think he should have lol.
On Valentines, he got my fav bottle of wine. I had 2 glasses and stopped, which was not hard at all. I'm realizing I am perfectly fine with 2 glasses. At least at home I am...
Only problem is the bottle he bought is the big sized bottle. So now I "have wine at home" you know? I drank two glasses last night, and I'm sure I'll have 2 tonight.
It's hard to say no when it's in the house.
My spouse drinks more but never gets drunk. I drink a few drinks and I am the one sleeping on the bathroom floor. So, I guess my body metabolism isn't like his. Anyway, recently I noticed he didn't drink for four days. I commented on it two days ago, and I asked
"Have you stopped drinking?. He said for now, he stopped. I said, "It kind of sucks, doesn't it. It's hard." He proudly said, "Not really. It's easy. I'm not addicted to it; i just love the taste."
Last night, I saw him pour a double scotch and tip toe out of the room. Made me chuckle! I didn't say a word and sipped my tea. We are all on our own journeys really, even if we are married to spouses who drink.5 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »Hi All! I was thinking back to last week when I met my teacher friends. We went to at a local , upscale bar after work. My friends ordered two wines each, and I ordered club soda. We ordered four appetizers to share. Then, Another guy sat down next to me at the bar. He ordered a club soda and an appetizer.
Then, all of a sudden, the normally cordial, professional bartender turned around and muttered frustratingly under his breath, "God, another club soda taking up a space."
The other soda drinker just looked at me stunned. I was stunned, too. Over the years, I've spent thousands of dollars at this upscale bar. Bartender even knows my name. So, the other club soda guy turned to me and said did he just say that? I said, "yep".
The man said, "I was just in here last week drinking wine with my friends, but today, I just wanted to eat and not drink."
Without passing judgment on bartender, (maybe he was having a bad day or maybe we were taking up space of an alcohol paying customer) I was really stunned. We both ordered food. We were former alcohol drinking customers.
Anyway, I think it was a good life lesson. Dont take anything personally. Of course, the embarrassment didn't last long. And the other guy and I had a meaningful conversation about life and life's lessons. And I left happy and sober. But it is a little life lesson on how people will look at you differently when you don't drink. I'm not bothered by it, but it was a little jarring.
P.s. The other club soda drinker told me he left a huge tip to the bartender to make up for the space he took not drinking. One last thing, When I was in Nashville ordering my club soda all weekend, I did leave more tip than the club soda to compensate the bartenders.
All I can say is WOW!!! I can't believe he said that. Well I am glad you weren't offended. But I am sure it felt great being sober.3 -
Never!!! I'm so glad to see you too. You're my favorite dressage rider[/quote]
@norminv Then I must be your favorite Eventer, lol!! I do Dressage in order to do Cross Country
Today will be day 4 in a row AF. 6 out of 15 for February. I'm really trying to get to the 14 days AF that Julie talked about and hoping that will change my attitude/habit.
Keep reading a chapter or two at night of Quitting the Easyway book. Not far enough along yet to comment.
Happy Friday to all.....keep up the smart choices!
[/quote]
I get it, xcjumper - cross country...I thought I saw a horse behind you in your avatar?
Wow, 2 dressage riders in one room (that's not a tack room!) - pretty good 2 -
dressagerider1020 wrote: »
@norminv Then I must be your favorite Eventer, lol!! I do Dressage in order to do Cross Country
Today will be day 4 in a row AF. 6 out of 15 for February. I'm really trying to get to the 14 days AF that Julie talked about and hoping that will change my attitude/habit.
Keep reading a chapter or two at night of Quitting the Easyway book. Not far enough along yet to comment.
Happy Friday to all.....keep up the smart choices!
[/quote]
I get it, xcjumper - cross country...I thought I saw a horse behind you in your avatar?
Wow, 2 dressage riders in one room (that's not a tack room!) - pretty good [/quote]
I sent friend requests to both but neither accepted. Time to drink
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springsweet wrote: »
Am I the only one here whose spouse drinks less than they
Until I did Dry Jan my husband was much much better at doing AF nights throughout the week. Now I think I’m beating him but overall I was the more frequent drinker and he drinks beer which has a lower percentage so my two-three glasses of wine were always more than his beer.
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@JulieAL1969 , re: the bartender - you and the other club soda handled it well, it was pretty rude of him. But as you said, he might have been having a bad day.2
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »Hi All! I was thinking back to last week when I met my teacher friends. We went to at a local , upscale bar after work. My friends ordered two wines each, and I ordered club soda. We ordered four appetizers to share. Then, Another guy sat down next to me at the bar. He ordered a club soda and an appetizer.
Then, all of a sudden, the normally cordial, professional bartender turned around and muttered frustratingly under his breath, "God, another club soda taking up a space."
The other soda drinker just looked at me stunned. I was stunned, too. Over the years, I've spent thousands of dollars at this upscale bar. Bartender even knows my name. So, the other club soda guy turned to me and said did he just say that? I said, "yep".
The man said, "I was just in here last week drinking wine with my friends, but today, I just wanted to eat and not drink."
Without passing judgment on bartender, (maybe he was having a bad day or maybe we were taking up space of an alcohol paying customer) I was really stunned. We both ordered food. We were former alcohol drinking customers.
Anyway, I think it was a good life lesson. Dont take anything personally. Of course, the embarrassment didn't last long. And the other guy and I had a meaningful conversation about life and life's lessons. And I left happy and sober. But it is a little life lesson on how people will look at you differently when you don't drink. I'm not bothered by it, but it was a little jarring.
P.s. The other club soda drinker told me he left a huge tip to the bartender to make up for the space he took not drinking. One last thing, When I was in Nashville ordering my club soda all weekend, I did leave more tip than the club soda to compensate the bartenders.
This pisses me off as much as an article recently posted on FB about "things not to say to your bartender". Those things, in a quick summary, were not to ask for any fancy drinks or anything that makes him/her do the work in which he/she specializes. So, presumably, after a week of being herded around like cattle in traffic, public transit, etc. and being treated like a peon at work (for those of us who don't have wonderful jobs). when one goes out to a bar, we are herded and categorized based on our potential to spend on less than poor quality service. They should just have a sign "Only those ordering alcohol will be served -- designated drivers may wait in the lobby" and "See list of 5 easiest to mix drinks before ordering". If it was an upscale bar with barely standing room, well, maybe anyone working there might get a little tense if they were less than professional.
I never, ever complain to or about anyone in the service industry (though many deserve it for their poor attitude) as I would not want anyone to get in trouble because of me. I know these people make their bucks because of the antiquated tipping system which allows employers to shuck the responsibility of paying their people adequately, but they are service employees. Yes, certainly anyone can have a bad day, but that doesn't mean it's okay to treat customers like cash cows (even if that's all they/we are). That being said, there are many servers, bartenders, cashiers who would benefit from some re-training in basic customer service etiquette.3 -
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »Hi All! I was thinking back to last week when I met my teacher friends. We went to at a local , upscale bar after work. My friends ordered two wines each, and I ordered club soda. We ordered four appetizers to share. Then, Another guy sat down next to me at the bar. He ordered a club soda and an appetizer.
Then, all of a sudden, the normally cordial, professional bartender turned around and muttered frustratingly under his breath, "God, another club soda taking up a space."
The other soda drinker just looked at me stunned. I was stunned, too. Over the years, I've spent thousands of dollars at this upscale bar. Bartender even knows my name. So, the other club soda guy turned to me and said did he just say that? I said, "yep".
The man said, "I was just in here last week drinking wine with my friends, but today, I just wanted to eat and not drink."
Without passing judgment on bartender, (maybe he was having a bad day or maybe we were taking up space of an alcohol paying customer) I was really stunned. We both ordered food. We were former alcohol drinking customers.
Anyway, I think it was a good life lesson. Dont take anything personally. Of course, the embarrassment didn't last long. And the other guy and I had a meaningful conversation about life and life's lessons. And I left happy and sober. But it is a little life lesson on how people will look at you differently when you don't drink. I'm not bothered by it, but it was a little jarring.
P.s. The other club soda drinker told me he left a huge tip to the bartender to make up for the space he took not drinking. One last thing, When I was in Nashville ordering my club soda all weekend, I did leave more tip than the club soda to compensate the bartenders.
Wow. Just wow. You handled that way better than i would have, haha. It’s not like you were there not spending any money at all since you were eating. And even if you weren’t you shouldn’t have to feel like you aren’t welcome there for not drinking. It isnt like you and the other guy were preventing other people from coming into the establishment.
I had a similar thing the other week when I had water and a salad at the bar. The bartender kept asking if i wanted a beer menu or if she could get me anything besides water. Nah, i’m good.4 -
@JulieAL1969 wow your bartender was a d!ck. I cannot believe him. That being said I DO find myself saying to bartenders stuff like "Im the driver" or "doctors orders. I'm on a new medicine" or some BS so I don't feel like such a freak. It really stinks that we have to justify why we are not putting a known poison into our bodies.4
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@JulieAL1969 I'm appalled too. You handled it well2
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Another weekend upon us. This is my seventh sober. Also especially challenging because I am at football coaching clinic. It started last night and sober so far. I have been going to these for 13 years and never even made it sober through the ride there lol so making it out tomorrow evening will be a huge victory.
Also have done well with food. I don’t know what’s more impressive that I haven’t had any vodka or any French fries!
Good luck to everyone this weekend!!11 -
eddie_fields wrote: »Another weekend upon us. This is my seventh sober. Also especially challenging because I am at football coaching clinic. It started last night and sober so far. I have been going to these for 13 years and never even made it sober through the ride there lol so making it out tomorrow evening will be a huge victory.
Also have done well with food. I don’t know what’s more impressive that I haven’t had any vodka or any French fries!
Good luck to everyone this weekend!!
Good luck Eddie ! You can do it !1 -
eddie_fields wrote: »Another weekend upon us. This is my seventh sober. Also especially challenging because I am at football coaching clinic. It started last night and sober so far. I have been going to these for 13 years and never even made it sober through the ride there lol so making it out tomorrow evening will be a huge victory.
Also have done well with food. I don’t know what’s more impressive that I haven’t had any vodka or any French fries!
Good luck to everyone this weekend!!
Good luck.! Stay strong. You are doing fantastic!1 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »Hi All! I was thinking back to last week when I met my teacher friends. We went to at a local , upscale bar after work. My friends ordered two wines each, and I ordered club soda. We ordered four appetizers to share. Then, Another guy sat down next to me at the bar. He ordered a club soda and an appetizer.
Then, all of a sudden, the normally cordial, professional bartender turned around and muttered frustratingly under his breath, "God, another club soda taking up a space."
The other soda drinker just looked at me stunned. I was stunned, too. Over the years, I've spent thousands of dollars at this upscale bar. Bartender even knows my name. So, the other club soda guy turned to me and said did he just say that? I said, "yep".
The man said, "I was just in here last week drinking wine with my friends, but today, I just wanted to eat and not drink."
Without passing judgment on bartender, (maybe he was having a bad day or maybe we were taking up space of an alcohol paying customer) I was really stunned. We both ordered food. We were former alcohol drinking customers.
Anyway, I think it was a good life lesson. Dont take anything personally. Of course, the embarrassment didn't last long. And the other guy and I had a meaningful conversation about life and life's lessons. And I left happy and sober. But it is a little life lesson on how people will look at you differently when you don't drink. I'm not bothered by it, but it was a little jarring.
P.s. The other club soda drinker told me he left a huge tip to the bartender to make up for the space he took not drinking. One last thing, When I was in Nashville ordering my club soda all weekend, I did leave more tip than the club soda to compensate the bartenders.
All I can say is WOW!!! I can't believe he said that. Well I am glad you weren't offended. But I am sure it felt great being sober.
I am not surprised at those remarks
I was asked last Summer by the owner (of a reastrurant/ pub/ inn) what are you doing sitting at my bar without a drink in front of you? I was stunned, but quickly replied: 'It's 11:30am, I am picking up my husband from work and besides I am drinking coffee"
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Go Eddie!1
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Just got the Annie Grace daily message (author of This Naked Mind) ; today's email spoke of how to view socializing at parties with people who are drinking. She says reframe your thoughts.
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From Annie Grace's email message:
5
...hence the 
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