WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2018
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Good morning all! Happy Saturday! I, for one, am thrilled that the weeks are speeding by, for me, right now. I think because I am always so tired and sore at the end of each day. I look forward to the weekend when I can ease up a bit. I got my grocery shopping done last night, also got my house cleaned while I waited for my last little one to be picked up (she stayed an hour after hours). SO...it is me and coffee for a while this morning. I put some chicken breasts in the crockpot last night, and they were perfect for shredding this morning! I will use some of it to make a meal for the inlaws, (we are visiting today). I also made a batch of Curried Butternut Squash and Pear soup when I got home with the groceries. I will take some of that to the inlaws, also. The only other thing I need to do today is get to Home Depot to pick up my sand, get my sandbox framed out and lined with heavy plastic and spread the sand. I might stop by the dollar store and pick up some pails and shovels. DYS is home today, so he offered to help me build and fill. The last couple of times I did this, it only took about 45 minutes to get it all set up. Eeeee! I am so excited! Tomorrow is a fast day for me, so I will have extra unused calories. I may just make myself a lemon drop and sit on my "beach" with a book for a while. Mini vacation in my kitchen.
Ginger- I am so sorry for the loss of your brother! My heart is heavy for you and your feeling "adrift" or out of sorts. Know that we are here for you, to hold you up, lift you up. I know that feeling of emptiness; like you have nothing left in your "bucket" to give to anyone, much less yourself. Take time for you; but remember to come back and have your "bucket" filled. Love you dear friend!
Barbie- Happy Birthday, dear Barbie! If you lived closer, you could come over and we could have a birthday beach party this weekend. I will put my toes in the sand, especially with you in mind.
Heather- I am sure you know how proud we all are of you, your memoir, and how you recovered from the abusive relationship with your father. My heart goes out to you, however, with handling getting the book out and dealing with your sons feelings. I know they are adults, and they probably already know this; but people are complex and are able to show multiple "faces" to different people. Maybe if the boys know that you are happy that they had a good relationship with their grandfather; but that is not how it was for you and a few others. You aren't doing this to take anything away from them, but to help yourself heal an old wound. Sending comfort and hugs to you!
Katie-Your bathroom is lovely! I love the colors. My bathroom is a chocolate brown. I love it, DH says it makes him think he is sitting in a giant "poop". (great visual, thanks). I hope to repaint this summer. Most likely going to go blue or a shade of white.
Allie- OMG! Fingers crossed this is IT for the divorce from Tomcat! You just need this to be over. He and his attorney have dragged this out for FAR too long! Sending hugs!
Michele- Omigoodness! Your girls and the misunderstandings! My kids get like that sometimes, too. Some times I am amazed at how our kids act like small children with each other and when they are with me. EXHAUSTING!!!
Charlie Ann - A trick many of the ladies on here use for snacking is the "pound a day" bag. What you do is fill a bag with a pound of veggies. Then you incorporate it into meals/snacks throughout the day. It is handy to have already washed cut veg measured out and ready for munching. Hmmmm...I need to get back to that. You are doing great, by the way! Keep on!
Trish- Welcome! WE are a chatty group; so yes, just jump in. Many of us only have time to skim everyday and most days give a hi or a few sentences. Impossible to reply to every one, but fun to try! Skimming is common practice by all of us.
Carol- Expenses CAN be quite high for home daycare providers. I spent a LOT more when I was first starting. Now, I try to get used toys, equipment. I buy a lot of things (party deco, etc) that can be re used if stored and cared for properly. This party is actually pretty cheap. Sand is about $3 for a fifty pound bag, so I will be spending about $25 for the whole day. The sand will go into my backyard sandbox. I spend, on average, between $500-$1000 per year on art/craft supplies, new/used toys and books, curriculum based items, field trips and learning experiences, storage, etc. Providers also need to remember to save about 1/3 of their income to pay taxes at the end of the year! lol These are the things most people don't think of when they get into the business. It is not career you pursue if your objective is to make lots of money! I would say after expenses AND taxes my take home pay is about $25-30k. Home daycare will also DESTROY your home! (don't even get me started on that). BUT...it allowed me to be home with my kids when they were young, it allows me to be my own boss and set my own hours, rates, and vacation time. I have been very lucky in my "career life" with fantastic, involved and understanding families. REally very lucky and not many horror stories about bad family relationships.
Thanks all- for the kind words and thoughts in regards to the handling of my bossy and interfering daughter. lol She has always been this way, but this week she took it JUST a bit too far with me. I have to laugh, because my main goal in raising her was to raise a girl/woman who knew herself and her mind and could speak up for herself and put herself out there. Mission accomplished! Yea! She is, like my DH, a type A personality. While he is a pessimist and kind of an "Eyeore", she has that personality with an optimist and energetic spin. She reminds me of a good fairy on steroids. Heart in the right place, but sometimes gets caught up in the issue or mission and steam rolls over people. Oh well, love her to death; but am very thankful for DYS who is me in masculine form. He is an optimist, water off a ducks back type of kid. He is, in his normal state, quite lazy. Content to sit on the couch. As I am. It has only been marriage and children that has turned me into a person who is constantly in motion. Funny how life does that to you! So...I look at my son, who on his days off from school and work, sits on the couch relaxing, playing video games/watching movies. Yes, he is lazy; but I know he won't be that way forever. The time is coming when he and his spouse will be finding thing for him to do to keep him in constant motion.
Well, I think I have reached far past my word limit for the day! LOL! Love and hugs and encouragement to all who need/want it! I have had my two cups of coffee. Better get my breakfast in me and get that meal made and ready to go. ttfn xoxoxoxo KJ (Kelly)4 -
Machka - so sorry to hear about your husband - very glad everyone moved swiftly! (((HUGS))) Prayers sent for both of you!
Lanette
SW WA State
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Machka- Just read your post! So sorry to hear about your husband's fall! So glad they seem to have him stabilized! The brain is an amazing thing, with it's power to help heal itself. Prayers/good thoughts and vibes sent to your hubby, his physicians, and to you dear friend! xoxoxo KJ4
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Machka-((HUGS)) and prayers. We are on your shoulders with you from all around the world.
Kylia3 -
Machka - I am so sorry! All the good thoughts in the world for swift and total healing for your husband. Don't forget to take care of yourself. He will need you.
Barbie - Happy birthday, dear heart.
Trish in Perth - welcome - as you can see, this group is wound into every part of all our lives.
Packing day - out early early tomorrow morning...
Love y'all,
Lisa in NC5 -
Machka, I am sending hugs and healing wishes to you and your husband.4
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Machka - Words fail me. What a terrible thing to happen. Sending love and hope for a good recovery. Please reach out to us any time you want.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxx3 -
Machka Oh no! Your poor husband! Your world has been turned upside down. I wish I could be there to do all the mundane stuff like laundry & transportation & meals. Sending all my energy for healing for him and strength for you. xoxo
Karen in Virginia5 -
Barbie - Happy Birthday! Your favorite Chinese for lunch? So glad Jake is on the mend!
Lenora - Sending Happy Birthday wishes to you! And wishing you a safe and healthy summer - you've really been put through the wringer this past couple months it seems.
Becca - your new place sounds great! So neat that your son could give you the video tour! Glad Lee is doing so well!! And thank you too for sharing your story. Marriage is hard work - care giving is something we rarely plan on but seems to be part of the package for many of us eventually.
Sharon - I had to laugh when I read Becca's description of Larry back with his ex and she realizing it wasn't as fabulous as she thought it would be and sending the dogs after him. I am so glad you have friends and family around you for support as you are going through this. (((HUGS))))
KJ - you are a brave woman setting up a sandbox in your kitchen! I know you did it last year and it looked like great fun . Glad you got your daughter straightened out!
Ginger - so sorry to hear about your BIL. My sincere condolences.
Seems I was on the go yesterday so kind of skipping around for the past day!
I have started watching "The Sacred Plant" docu-series about cannabis. It is quite informative. I discovered we have a naturopath in our area who evidently has studied the medical aspect of it extensively and routinely prescribes it. Also discovered there's a gal in town with an inoperable brain tumor that regular medical procedures hasn't been able to eradicate - she's been on cannabis and it is now shrinking.
There's so much more to it than just sitting around getting stoned listening to "Inna Gadda Da Vida" for hours on end and eating bags of Cheetos and burning patchouli incense. Glad research is breaking through that stereotype.
Have a good day.
Lanette
SW WA State5 -
Machka, loads of hugs. My heart goes out to you and your husband. Sending prayers of comfort for you and total healing for your rhusband.
Janetr OKC3 -
Barbie, happy birthday. You are an amazing woman and I strive to emulate you on this healthy lifestyle journey. You are truly an inspiration to many. Have a terrific day.
Janetr OKC4 -
Machka Prayers
Barbie Happy Birthday!! :flowerforyou:
Heather you have nothing to be sorry for...
You were a little girl and betrayed in the worst way. He stole something from you HE HAD NO RIGHT!
Heather...
You have the right to be filled with love and kindness.
You have the right to feel protected and loved.
You have the right to be loved and give love.
You have the right to feel contented and happy.
You have the right to be healthy and strong.
You have the right to have your life unfold with ease.
You are taking back what was stolen from you. You go girl...We are here to cheer you on!!!
In trying to heal my own family trauma I have been reading a number of books, so where I pick up ideas I cannot always tell you. One idea I particularly like is as I am dealing with traumatic issues is to create a safety island for myself, so I do not become overwhelmed by my own issues or the issues of others. My safety island is to place my hand on my heart and just take calming breaths. They recommend finding some kind of physical anchor... hugging your hands together, feeling your feet planted firmly on the ground...anything that helps you ground you to your body. Trauma can cause a disconnect between your mind and your body, so creating a safety island helps to restore communication between mind and body.
We just started to go to family therapy. I am pleased all us of are going. What surprised me was how few therapist do family therapy. They do individual, couple.
In our next session I want to bring up this idea of a safety island right away so everyone can create their own as we unravel and heal the wounds in our family.
Margaret5 -
yo peeps3
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Happy birthday Barbie!
Prayers, and hugs to all those going through difficult times. Remember- we are all here for you.
RV Rita in Columbus New Mexico4 -
machka. Healing thoughts and strength to you and your husband
NYKAREN3 -
Machka: You are surrounded by warm thoughts and well wishes. We all hope for a quick and complete recovery for your DH.3
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Machka, so sorry about your husbands fall!!! Take moments here and there, and care for yourself. Trust in the doctors that are healing him. I can relate to the feeling of void, the feeling of numbness. That if you cry you might never get a handle on things. You have to be there for your self to be there for your husband. You have us in your back pocket always. Hugs friend.
Becca4 -
Machka loving hugs to you and many many good wishes for your husband's healing. Do you have any local support, like from your touring group?
Thank you Lisa, again, for your wise counsel about despair vs returning to the path. Yesterday we lost power. OK no problem, have wood stove for warmth, lanterns/candles for light, stored drinking and handwashing water, pantry full of edibles, battery operated radio for entertainment and news (when the local station finally got back on air after 2 hours). We can weather this. BUT didn't want to open the fridge as hoped power would be restored before food spoiled. Plus it was scary stormy blustery with lightning, thunder and hail. Got out Joe's ruby port and had a glass with a serving of Cheezits. Had another glass and another 27 Cheezits and a peanut butter cooky ... AND stopped. Took a nap. Woke up to restored power and determined to log every sip and lick. Was surprised that while it was a lot, it wasn't THOUSANDS of calories. Wobble not fail. Finished off the day with nice salad and grilled chicken breast and was amazed to stay within limits. Slept well and ready for today. Many, many thanks and safe travels!
Heather two weeks AF, brava! Can't thank you enough for the AF beer recommendation... any tasty AF reds? Please, no need to apologize for "exposition" we're all concerned and willing to listen. It is so horribly destructive when people in power over children (teachers, church leaders, parents, grandparents) abuse. Seems like many of the victims take the guilt onto themselves
Katla we use Interceptor as heartworm preventative for our Skyes as some are sensitive to Ivermectin/HeartGuard. Simparica works great to prevent fleas but it's spendy. So glad your DH listened to the MD, wish Joe would. Your Karmic wish for the gold for Sharon's medal to come from Larry's pocket, Right ON, sister!
pip "don't tell kirby tho'" LOL! I could just hug your pooches to pieces.
Sharon, Michele's right, even those of us who don't exercise enough have good crying/leaning-on-shoulders.
Becca wish I could hear your riverside arias. What a beautiful way to honor his memory. Thank you for sharing the perspective of the other side. Can't help but wish the lost all self esteem karma onto Larry. Sun room AND backyard deer? EEEEeeeeeee! So happy for you!
Allie you sound so good, you've surely come a long way, baby!
Ginger ((hugs)) Sometimes a nap is just what you need, so long as it doesn't turn into hibernation
Evelyn "found myself in the cracker box (face first...)" LOL Even though I had to get them out of the pantry I was right there with you, except for the elliptical and vacuuming
Kay love the mosaic tile. Can you sit on the tile shelf and soak feet in tub? Lovely view out the window, so private!
Meg when you find the sun, please share!
Kim please share lemonade cooky recipe I "need" one.
CharlieAnn on call all weekend? 48 straight hours? Please take extra care to sleep, get fresh air and make wise eating choices in between calls.
Barbie, ... HAPPY birthdaaayyy tooo yoooouuuu. Can you hear me singing? If so, I apologize Your students are lucky and they know it.
KJ Can I visit your beach? I'll bring Mai Tais "Good Fairy on steroids" whoops, there goes the tea :laugh:
Trish welcome! Jump right in, water's fine!
Melanie welcome too! logging everything and getting back in the habit is just the ticket!
Lanette "so much more to it than just ... listening to Inna Gadda Da Vida and ..." but it sure was fun back in the day Glad there is now good science to support the healing it has brought so many.
Margaret thanks for sharing your safety island ideas, we all need to establish safety islands at one time or another. Hoping the family councilor is a great one.
Time to meditate, breakfast and get moving.
Yesterday
Walk Tumble: stroll around yard
Log: yes
Meditate: no
Exercises: knee
Steps: 4703 vs goal 5159 close enough I could have danced around awhile but the battery was dying on my iphone and so was mine
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD.
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Machka, so sorry to hear about your hubby's injury. Keeping you both in my thoughts and hoping for the best outcome. I too wish I could be there to do the mundane things that need to be done and that you understandably do not have time nor energy for. {{{HUGS}}}
Becca, wonderful news about the house! Keeping my fingers crossed for you that you actually get it! Don't know what the rental situation is like there, it's awful here. The vacancy rate is below 1% and anything that's actually affordable is most often kind of a dump! So happy that we were able to buy when we did, back when prices were reasonable!
Barbie, Happy Birthday! How thoughtful of your line dancing group to do a party for you!
Heather, I hope that your sons are both old enough (mentally) to realize that while their relationship with their granddad was wonderful, yours was not. In some ways, I feel your ddil could be right, that your ds isn't strong enough at this point to be able to handle it, but at the same time, it's not something that can be put off forever. He definitely needs to know before you publish it. {{HUGS}}
Kelly, the sandbox sounds great! Please stick your toes in and think of me for a minute while you enjoy your beach in the kitchen!
Lanette, "sitting around getting stoned and listening to Inna Gadda Da Vida for hours", so glad I wasn't drinking anything at that time, I have a feeling I'd still be cleaning up the keyboard!! lol
Lisa, hope your travels are safe and uneventful!
Nice sunshine here today, but it's only nice to look at! It's still quite cool out, must be something coming down from the polar ice cap! Yesterday my car said it was 8c outside, I didn't quite believe it! Oh well, in August I'll be complaining about how hot it is! lol
Hope everyone has a great day/night!
Evelyn, Vancouver Island2 -
Machka - I am sending all the positive healing energy you will need to come through your storm! I am absolutely positive your husband is in good hands. It breaks my heart to watch families wait for the medical miracles. Close your eyes to feel all the warm love of everyone here, and there is a hearty amount nearby too. ❤️1
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