Less Alcohol- April 2018- One Day at a Time
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I am feeling strong going into the weekend, only 5 days with alcohol in April so far! Granted, I had too much on those days but still a good improvement over March which was my main goal. I have been listening to This Naked Mind at the gym and while I walk my dogs, it is very eye opening! I mean I obviously know that alcohol is not healthy but never put much thought into how bad it really is for you and all aspects of your life. My boyfriend drinks quite a bit/often and while part of me is afraid that if I stop drinking, our relationship will fall apart, I also hope that maybe I can lead by example (not deluding myself here, I know this is unlikely, lol). He has young kids (I have none) and I am realizing what a terrible example we are setting for them. This is something that really resonated with my in Annie's book. Adults who drink raise kids who drink. I was raised by drinkers. My dad has always preached "everything in moderation" but even he throws moderation to the wind on many occasions. My mom is probably the only person that I have ever seen truly drink in moderation and I have never seen her go overboard.
I have a workout planned for tonight, tomorrow and Sunday and don't want to skip any of them for a hangover. I do have a bachelorette party tomorrow but it is a painting party (not bars) for my cousin who really doesn't drink and I am going with a pregnant friend so I have no intention of drinking at all.
This is a little rambly so if you read it, thanks! It feels good to "say" some of this stuff, I'm not going into any of it much in real life until I decide what I am even trying to accomplish. Happy Friday!
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@sdogg626 Love hearing your thoughts. My mom is like yours. I never seen her overdo it. And she sips one glass of wine and makes it last all dinner. Although my Dad didn't drink when i was little, my parents tried to set a good example for us. Mom and Dad even distanced themselves from their hard drinking relatives, but for some reason, I still saw lots of drinking at weddings and parties. I imagine there is a genetic predisposition that some of my female relatives who don't drink have overcome. Good luck on your weekend workout plans! So, nice to wake up with no headache! xo2
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@JulieAL1969 - thanks for sharing that reflection. So deep on so many levels. Really made me think. The situation with your husband has got to be tough. My husband is a beer drinker, and drinks every day - maybe two. He usually drinks in the early afternoon, esp when he's working outside in the yard, on our boat - whatever. He's typically done by dinner at 6. That's when I always started before I quit in January and moderated after that. So, it's not in my face, which would be hard for sure. I am desperately in need of hobbies myself, so let me know if you figure out any! I've been playing a little Words with Friends on my iPad, but it doesn't thrill me. I'm just not a big game person.
I'm seriously thinking of not drinking this weekend, although it's my "regular" time to drink wine. I'm leaning toward the Julie method of waiting for a special occasion. We're going on a cruise in mid May so pondering being AF til then. We'll see how this weekend goes.4 -
Hi all! I just got back from a long work trip to San Francisco and wine was a part of every day. I never drank more than a few glasses but I just felt tired and sluggish after all the meetings and drinks and dinners. Last night was my first AF night in a while and it felt great! I need more in my life. April has been kind of a bust for me so I am looking forward to a healthier May. Also, read a good book called “Food: what the heck should I eat?” - there is so much out there now, vegan, paleo, Keto etc. this book looks at it all and debunks myths. I feel good about the direction of my diet 6
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Observations this week - mostly AF, we had a celebration at work on Weds and drank a couple of beers, wasn't tempted to drink more. Gave my last drink ticket away (usually I'm the one running around trying to procure extra tickets from non-drinkers)! I feel pretty comfortable with my mindful moderation strategy, almost a little too comfortable? I've certainly still been drinking, and some months/weeks more frequently and in higher quantity than others (hello March 27-April 5). However, since finding this group and starting to really pay attention and think before I have a drink, and especially before each subsequent drink after the first one... I haven't felt out of control, haven't had a day where I regretted what I drank the night before. So that's good, right?
But last night I was making myself a nice pasta dinner after the kids went to bed and I had a little internal debate with myself:
Drinking Brain - you should have a glass of wine with your pasta, it would go really nicely together
Abstinence Brain - yes but I am trying not to drink during the week
Drinking Brain - come on, you've been doing really well, it's no big deal
Abstinence Brain - I know, but I already had a drink last night and NOT drinking is enjoyable too
Drinking Brain - one of the bottles from last week is still open in the fridge. It's probably going bad in there. You should finish it off so you don't waste it by waiting till the weekend.
Abstinence Brain - seriously? It's a cheap screw cap. It's going to taste just like it did when you opened it.
Drinking Brain - you've got this moderation thing in the bag, ~4 months in you've proven to yourself that you can cut back and you are in control of alcohol, it isn't in control of you, so what's the big deal?
Abstinence Brain - the fact that we are having this internal debate shows that it isn't that simple. I'm going to stick with the AF plan tonight. We can revisit this tomorrow.
So I am trying to figure out just how slippery this slope is. I do feel like I'm in control, and the alcohol isn't in control over me - consecutive days AF have proven that to me. I was really fearful when I first started back in Jan that every day would be a white knuckle situation, and that hasn't been the case at all. But I'm also cognizant that if I'm not careful, and I start having wine with meals during the week because it would go nicely together, soon I'm right back in the habit of daily drinking. And sure, maybe at first it would start out being just 1 glass a day, which isn't outrageous. But then that would turn into 2 or 3 on a couple of days, and I'd be right back where I was at the end of December - looking at my diary and realizing that 2-3 was the norm, 1 was the exception - and the only days I didn't drink were days when I was ill.
So that's where I'm at. Happy Friday!
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Just checking in. Today is my 100th day alcohol free. I still haven't gotten control of my food situation. Where I used alcohol to help me sleep, I now eat sugar and carbs before bed. It isn't as though I'm even hungry. Last night I even got up after midnight to eat. So, now, I really have to buckle down and get a grip. Congratulations to everyone for all those awesome alcohol free days.10
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@WinoGelato I can't drink unstructured but I recognize that debate. I was having it about this weekend but my wife settled it. We have a nice day planned and it will end with drinks outside. It is my allowance day so the drinking brain kicks in pretty early with all the excuses if I consider skipping. This time it was unnecessary. She doesn't drink very often and she never overdoes it. I am glad because I am not sure how strong I would be in @JulieAL1969 's and @sdogg626 's situation.
Was it just shear force of will that helps you moderate when you drink? I haven't mastered that part yet. Last time I told myself I was cutting back and was shocked to see that by rote I drank the same amount. The drinking brain and the OCD brain conspired against me and the OCD part is a sneaky devil.1 -
@WinoGelato I can't drink unstructured but I recognize that debate. I was having it about this weekend but my wife settled it. We have a nice day planned and it will end with drinks outside. It is my allowance day so the drinking brain kicks in pretty early with all the excuses if I consider skipping. This time it was unnecessary. She doesn't drink very often and she never overdoes it. I am glad because I am not sure how strong I would be in @JulieAL1969 's and @sdogg626 's situation.
Was it just shear force of will that helps you moderate when you drink? I haven't mastered that part yet. Last time I told myself I was cutting back and was shocked to see that by rote I drank the same amount. The drinking brain and the OCD brain conspired against me and the OCD part is a sneaky devil.
I don’t know what helps me moderate, to be honest. Maybe a bit of my Type A personality. It’s kind of like with my weight loss and maintenance. Once I understood how many calories I burn and have a calorie target and a plan, I’m pretty easily able to stick with the plan and the target. Not that I never indulge or go over my cals, but I always know what the impact will be and offset it either before (banking cals for a special occasion) or after (cutting back for a couple days after I overdo it). Once I decided I was going to specifically try to cut back my alcohol intake, not have those hazy nights, bad mornings, and feelings of regret - I just did it. I look at the week ahead for alcohol intake just like planning my meals. I know when I would ha ea happy hour, or a girls night, or a planned nice dinner that I would want wine with. Just like I have an upper limit for calories because I know my TDEE, I now have an upper limit in mind for my alcohol intake too.
That’s all I can come up with. Wish it was more insightful.4 -
Wow I am aspiring to be able to say 100 days AF, now that I hear that here! It is 78 I think now. It has been hard especially this time of year for me. Today I wanted to drink and forget the pain in the neck troubles of today. I was able to talk myself down. Thank God it worked. Also sugar rescued me once again. Alcohol was and is the bigger trouble Rather err on the sugar side. Now onto a better calorie limit tomorrow.3
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I know it was already addressed in here somewhere over the past few months but could someone explain what Annie Graces' 30 day challenge is? Do you pay for it? Is it something available on line? Thank you - Jen1
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Just checking in. Today is my 100th day alcohol free. I still haven't gotten control of my food situation. Where I used alcohol to help me sleep, I now eat sugar and carbs before bed. It isn't as though I'm even hungry. Last night I even got up after midnight to eat. So, now, I really have to buckle down and get a grip. Congratulations to everyone for all those awesome alcohol free days.
You're not alone... I do the exact same thing since I stopped drinking. I'm not hungry either; it's almost as if I just have to do something to keep my hands and mouth busy
And yeah, well done again everyone4 -
I know it was already addressed in here somewhere over the past few months but could someone explain what Annie Graces' 30 day challenge is? Do you pay for it? Is it something available on line? Thank you - Jen
https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/
Here should be a link, @JenT304 It is free to do the 30 day experiment and I highly recommend it. Each day there is new video by Annie and then a private journaling section to put down your thoughts on the day's topic. It was very helpful to me. I was nearly through This Naked Mind, but making the application of each lesson to myself and my life made this whole process so much more peaceful.4 -
I think if one has a problem with alcohol (like I do), it's important to have a plan when faced with either cravings or situations where you might want to drink. For example, if you don't want to drink at a social function, what will be your escape plan, how will you handle it if offered a drink, or...what about a nice, warm sunny day when you would want to relax with an alcoholic beverage? My thoughts are in anticipating these situations and having a plan in place, will get you through them. Wishing everyone continued success.8
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@WinoGelato - I love your posts. The drinking brain/abstinence brain thing is so real for me as well. I'm not white knuckling but really trying to observe where the urges to drink are coming from and what that's all about. I thought I would try not drinking Fri-Sun (my "scheduled to drink" days) and, guess what?, totally fine last night. Just treated it like a week night and forgot about it. If an "occasion" comes up, like we go out to dinner or to happy hour, I will def have a glass of wine. But right now, I'm trying being AF unless something does come up. We shall see. I do think the less I drink the less I think about it.5
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@SanDiegofitmom - we continue to lead parallel lives. I was on the waiting list at the library for the Mark Hyman book and just picked it up yesterday. I've done his 10-day detox, and it was rough. It really helped with the sugar demons though, so I may give it another shot. He's no great fan of alcohol, but says the key is moderation, which means one glass of wine or 1 ounce of hard liquor per day max.2
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Today, it's 60th day without alcohol! I used to drink a drink every night almost every day during last year. When I started my weight loss, I wanted to cut on the alcohol too, since you know, it's unhealthy and super calorie-dense! I actually drank only one glass since the beginning of the year. And boy do I regret taking that glass when someone handed it to me. But oh well...
How is it going for you, guys?
(I'm a frenchie, please excuse any mistakes I could've made)9 -
Hi Friends, I am enjoying peace and solitude this weekend. For the first time in years (or ever) i have the house to myself for two days. The kids and husband are gone. So, Last night I went to a happy hour and had a cosmo. It was pretty good, but not too satisfying. My cheeks flushed a little bit and after I drank it, I knew not to have another one. I was feeling relaxed. Had no ill effects but a slight headache this morning.
Today, I went to a fair and shopped with my girlfriend and had a glass of wine. And then at dinner another wine. All normal and planned and short pours. I havent fallen off the wagon entirely although it may appear so. I decided this weekend, I would give myself a pass and if the inclination hits, I'd have a little alcohol. But I told myself not to open anything at home. Just be happy with the wine I had out to dinner.
What has changed is that the desire to keep having more alcohol. I mean after the one cosmo, the old me would have, of course, ordered one more. And maybe a third. But I felt fine with just one.
Today, the two short pours probably equaled a regular glass of wine. Again, no buzz but still enjoyed it.
I still plan on continuing being AF overall but for these two days, I indulged. I'm eating sour bread toasted with butter and delicious jam for dinner! More indulgences!
I will be mindful of the slide. I know that it can start this way by having alcohol two days in a row. And then maybe a third day. And then all that hard work will be wiped away. I wont let that happen.
I also dont know why I am feeling that it's ok to let myself have alcohol today and yesterday. I better analyze that tomorrow. LOL
Happy to see that many of you are doing very well AF.
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Hey everyone! At my daughter's baby shower today, Granny (me) had a couple of weak mimosas but that was it. The former, less mindful me, would immediately think to buy more wine/spirits on the way home after the party. I didn't even want any so that is a big win for me. I know I will sleep soundly tonight and wake up happy tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your weekend 5
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[...]I don’t intend to never drink again but I do love a good streak
Hahaha Oh yes, so very this!
@jecky74I have been reading everyone’s comments and have been trying to decide what my “allowance “ could possibly be. Once a week? Every other? Planned ahead special events? IDK yet but definitely thinking it over.[...]
I'm up to 81 days AF and like you, can't decide when to drink again.
Thinking as I type, I think I'll relax even more and not worry about when I will drink again.
I'll just enjoy my streak and the fact that I don't need to worry. Thanks for the insight.6 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »Hi Friends, I am enjoying peace and solitude this weekend. For the first time in years (or ever) i have the house to myself for two days. The kids and husband are gone. So, Last night I went to a happy hour and had a cosmo. It was pretty good, but not too satisfying. My cheeks flushed a little bit and after I drank it, I knew not to have another one. I was feeling relaxed. Had no ill effects but a slight headache this morning.
Today, I went to a fair and shopped with my girlfriend and had a glass of wine. And then at dinner another wine. All normal and planned and short pours. I havent fallen off the wagon entirely although it may appear so. I decided this weekend, I would give myself a pass and if the inclination hits, I'd have a little alcohol. But I told myself not to open anything at home. Just be happy with the wine I had out to dinner.
What has changed is that the desire to keep having more alcohol. I mean after the one cosmo, the old me would have, of course, ordered one more. And maybe a third. But I felt fine with just one.
Today, the two short pours probably equaled a regular glass of wine. Again, no buzz but still enjoyed it.
I still plan on continuing being AF overall but for these two days, I indulged. I'm eating sour bread toasted with butter and delicious jam for dinner! More indulgences!
I will be mindful of the slide. I know that it can start this way by having alcohol two days in a row. And then maybe a third day. And then all that hard work will be wiped away. I wont let that happen.
I also dont know why I am feeling that it's ok to let myself have alcohol today and yesterday. I better analyze that tomorrow. LOL
Happy to see that many of you are doing very well AF.
It all sounds mindful to me. Glad you are having fun. I like your new picture. ENJOY the solitude and lack of responsibility. 1 -
Hey everyone! At my daughter's baby shower today, Granny (me) had a couple of weak mimosas but that was it. The former, less mindful me, would immediately think to buy more wine/spirits on the way home after the party. I didn't even want any so that is a big win for me. I know I will sleep soundly tonight and wake up happy tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your weekend
Sounds good! You look way young to be a "Granny". Glad it was all fun. 2 -
A friend brought this to my attention today. Really good read. 'Binge drinking has become completely normalized': Has boozy mom culture gone too far?
“Mommy’s wine has become a pop culture trend, a marketer’s dream and a hashtag,” said Dr. Crystal Tennille Clark, a psychiatrist and assistant professor at Northwestern’s Feinberg School of Medicine who specializes in women’s health. “I do think we’re losing sight of what a problem (drinking) could be. Many people, whether they’re men or women, don’t appreciate the risks of drinking.”
Very interesting. I think of this a lot. Whenever I’m on social media I always notice the normalizing or romanticizing of heavy drinking.
And working for a beer wholesaler I get to see all the marketing firsthand. It’s basically like sexism, racism, classism and ageism are accepted in this business. We have meetings almost weekly with our brewery partners where they pitch products as “we want to capture the female drinker, the millenial drinker, the hispanic drinker etc etc etc.”
Really a thinker4 -
Good morning all! There is this strange, rarely seen, bright , yellow thing in the sky here in Ohio! I think today will be a great day to get lots of exercise and go out to lunch. Hope your weekend has been moderate and active.
@erikNJ Great points! In advertising, there definitely has to be marketing oriented to specific niches. You see the behind the scenes in your business. Thanks for sharing.
@salleewins Thanks for your support always. Hope your weekend is happy.
@JenT304 What a beautiful day to share with the ones you love! A new precious baby on the way for you. Life is good. Xo
@Orphia Congrats on 82 days AF. YEs, it's funny how the mind thinks about when will be the moment I drink again or maybe you wont. I looked at my dry January app today, and saw this gradual progress of alcohol seeping back into my world. January and February - 0 days ; March. 2 days; April. 4 days. So, when or if you decide to drink, I'm sure that it will be manageable because you have proven you can abstain for several months.1 -
@sdogg626 You are doing very well! Such an improvement over the past. How did the workouts go? I was thinking of you! Xo0
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islandbeez wrote: »I know it was already addressed in here somewhere over the past few months but could someone explain what Annie Graces' 30 day challenge is? Do you pay for it? Is it something available on line? Thank you - Jen
https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/
Have you seen that Annie Grace had a few live sessions going on last week? I love reading her emails. I will look into the challenge!0 -
@WinoGelato I can't drink unstructured but I recognize that debate. I was having it about this weekend but my wife settled it. We have a nice day planned and it will end with drinks outside. It is my allowance day so the drinking brain kicks in pretty early with all the excuses if I consider skipping. This time it was unnecessary. She doesn't drink very often and she never overdoes it. I am glad because I am not sure how strong I would be in @JulieAL1969 's and @sdogg626 's situation.
Was it just shear force of will that helps you moderate when you drink? I haven't mastered that part yet. Last time I told myself I was cutting back and was shocked to see that by rote I drank the same amount. The drinking brain and the OCD brain conspired against me and the OCD part is a sneaky devil.
One of the things, I found with myself was that after abstaining for a big chunk of time (I did for 2.5 months) , you get empowered because you put in the painful work of getting through cravings. Maybe try a 21 day detox and see if that will help you master moderation. Wishing you success always. Xo1 -
i've made it through the whole week alcohol-free! It wasn't even on purpose really, I just didn't feel like drinking at all. Not even my once weekly bottle of wine.
i'm starting to realize that a good amount of my drinking these days has just been out of pure habit, rather than genuine desire or cravings. I've just been automatically grabbing that wine every week without stopping to consider whether or not i actually want it...
Great week, Sarah!0 -
Just checking in. Today is my 100th day alcohol free. I still haven't gotten control of my food situation. Where I used alcohol to help me sleep, I now eat sugar and carbs before bed. It isn't as though I'm even hungry. Last night I even got up after midnight to eat. So, now, I really have to buckle down and get a grip. Congratulations to everyone for all those awesome alcohol free days.
You're not alone... I do the exact same thing since I stopped drinking. I'm not hungry either; it's almost as if I just have to do something to keep my hands and mouth busy
And yeah, well done again everyone
Awesome job kicking alcohol! One thing at a time. Now, you can work on your sugar cravings. I saw a cute quote recently, "Everything in moderation including moderation. "2
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