Less Alcohol- May 2018- One Day at a Time

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  • kittybenn
    kittybenn Posts: 444 Member
    Thanks, all, for the cruise drinks suggestions. Yes, the sugar, OMG, and excellent point. That's a killer. I still struggle with craving sweets since having an AF January and moderating after that. I'm seriously considering one of those Mark Hyman 10-day detoxes, in which you get to eat nothing fun, and absolutely no sugar or alcohol. I did it once before and made it to day seven, LOL. Of course, this will be AFTER the cruise.

    So great to see all the new participants here. Great energy and ideas.
  • jillanne1897
    jillanne1897 Posts: 2 Member
    My goal is moderation. It probably should be total abstinence but I just don't feel ready yet. I've progressed from only socially drinking, to a couple beers most nights, to at least a bottle of wine a night, to a bottle of wine plus several shots of vodka in secret. It took 15 years to get to this point. Always craving that unattainable "buzzed, happy, calm" feeling only occasional drinkers can get after a drink or two. Most mornings I have try to remember what unhealthy foods I binged on before going to bed. Last night was half a bag of cool ranch doritos and peanut butter straight from the jar.

    Welcome. Do you have a goal set for what "moderation" looks like?

    It helped me a lot to pick a "number" or goal. Because otherwise, I was telling myself it was moderate when it really wasn't.

    There are probably different ways to approach this, but I found it really helpful to pick a number to define what "moderation" meant to me (for me, it's 1 drink on weeknights and 2 on weekends). I knew some nights I wouldn't live up to my moderation goal, but other nights I would and that gave me a chance to relish the successful nights.

    I had not defined my goals! You are so right, moderation can mean many things. I love your suggestion and feel it is doable for me. Last night (day 1) I had 2 glasses of wine. Tonight I am going to try to stick to only 1 glass while cooking dinner. Thank you!!
  • DX2JX2
    DX2JX2 Posts: 1,921 Member
    I'm actually enjoying sleeping through the night. If I have a few too many in the evening, I tend to wake up at 2AM and not fall back asleep for over an hour.
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    I just Googled "alcohol withdrawal insomnia." Well, duh. It's a thing, for sure. "They" say it can last 4-6 weeks (and "they" should know!). Hopefully that won't be the case. Even so, it's worth it. It's kind of reassuring to learn that my body is just doing what bodies do.
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    My goal is moderation. It probably should be total abstinence but I just don't feel ready yet. I've progressed from only socially drinking, to a couple beers most nights, to at least a bottle of wine a night, to a bottle of wine plus several shots of vodka in secret. It took 15 years to get to this point. Always craving that unattainable "buzzed, happy, calm" feeling only occasional drinkers can get after a drink or two. Most mornings I have try to remember what unhealthy foods I binged on before going to bed. Last night was half a bag of cool ranch doritos and peanut butter straight from the jar.

    Welcome. Do you have a goal set for what "moderation" looks like?

    It helped me a lot to pick a "number" or goal. Because otherwise, I was telling myself it was moderate when it really wasn't.

    There are probably different ways to approach this, but I found it really helpful to pick a number to define what "moderation" meant to me (for me, it's 1 drink on weeknights and 2 on weekends). I knew some nights I wouldn't live up to my moderation goal, but other nights I would and that gave me a chance to relish the successful nights.

    I had not defined my goals! You are so right, moderation can mean many things. I love your suggestion and feel it is doable for me. Last night (day 1) I had 2 glasses of wine. Tonight I am going to try to stick to only 1 glass while cooking dinner. Thank you!!

    I'm glad you had a good night! Every night I moderate feels good. Maybe not always *during* it, but always at the end of the night and the morning after. :)
  • JonCo1980
    JonCo1980 Posts: 4 Member
    Happy Tuesday everyone!

    I had a good AF day yesterday, and I'm looking to make today the same. It's nice to see so many green calories left at the end of the day.

    Some of you mentioned insomnia related to alcohol withdrawal. I'm right there with you. I often used alcohol to wind down, and without it my body doesn't seem to know when or how to go to sleep. But, it is nice to not have to make a lot of nighttime trips to the bathroom. And, I know better sleep is on the horizon.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    edited May 2018
    The way I figure it I have about 97 hours of peace before the bad part of the 6th kicks in. After that it will likely be a struggle to make it until 9pm at which time I will be outside of my window to start drinking. If I can break the every 2 week cycle I can form new rules I like better.

    If this post is confusing it is because you may not know that I am heavily driven by habit, routine, and rules. When I started moderating in mid Feb I gave myself every other Sunday for a drinking allowance but lately I have been feeling slavish towards it and I have not done well cutting back the amount on those days.

    I am tired of dealing with those calories so often. I know I can lose easier if I can break this cycle.

  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    donimfp wrote: »
    @JonCo1980, in the brief Google scan I did, I came across some info that the alcohol helps us produce dopamine (of course then it pulls the rug out from under us by counteracting that dopamine), and when we withdraw it, our brain is waiting for the alcohol to do its usual job. Eventually, our brain learns that it's going to have to do it without the alcohol. That is a very unscientific way of putting it, but the idea makes sense: our bodies just need time to adjust to the fact that the alcohol isn't coming to knock us out.

    I've been moderating for a couple months now and my body is still waiting. I feel like I'm sleeping better, but getting to sleep is still a struggle sometimes. I'm also learning how much I was counting on alcohol to "quiet" my mind prior to going to sleep, to turn off anxiety and other intrusive thoughts.
  • Unknown
    edited May 2018
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  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    I've been moderating for a couple months now and my body is still waiting. I feel like I'm sleeping better, but getting to sleep is still a struggle sometimes. I'm also learning how much I was counting on alcohol to "quiet" my mind prior to going to sleep, to turn off anxiety and other intrusive thoughts.

    I have suffered from insomnia since I was 14ish. The first time it hit me I went almost 5 days without sleep. When I transitioned into moderations I went almost 3 days.

    My nighttime ritual of not watching anything new on TV for the last 90 minutes helps. I can't read before bed because if I get interested I will read all night. I also do not talk on the phone past about 8pm. I avoid anything and everything that will get my brain stimulated.

    When I was drinking it might help with the mental part initially but if I woke up a little later I was back in the same boat.

    I do have mental exercises that help me. One of my favorites is if you travelled back to a certain point in history how would you make a living? The dumber the exercise the better for me because I didn't really need to solve so I wasn't invested in it. If I solve it too thoroughly over time I pick a new point in history. In this way I can force myself to shut out the day and focus on the fictional scenario. It doesn't always work but it helps most nights.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,346 Member
    I went through a period of sleeping deeply after I quit (after 30 days probably), but then after 60 days, I couldnt fall asleep easily. So, I figured it was having a decaf cappuccino around 4:00 p.m. Then, I stopped the decaf and I still couldnt fall asleep. For me, there's nothing I can pinpoint. I have tried meditation before bed with a guided one that helps you relax everything. I like when the lady on the meditation says "NO thinking" every so often. I hope you find some helpful tips.

    @janejellyroll I hope you find what works for you. I am still trying to get a deep sleep. But I do know that since I cut way back on alcohol, I no longer have that raging heart beat in the middle of the night. That's a relief.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    If I heard "no thinking" I would be so mad that someone was telling me what to do. I can clear my mind for meditation but I can't clear my mind for sleep which is why I divert it with nonsense.

    Melatonin does work but only for a few months. I am guessing your body adjusts to it. It has been awhile since I have taken it so I might start it again.

    Most night I am okay. If anything changes like diet or weather I will experience problems. I know I could go to the doctor and probably get some pills but I am a man so I am stupidly stubborn sometimes.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,346 Member
    @NovusDies You made me laugh! No thinking :)

    I try Benadryl and thought that helped a little bit But not lately.
    I imagine the unnatural light of a screen doesn't help and I do sometimes look at my ipad until bedtime.
    I'll try diverting it with nonsense and let you know if it works.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    I love to make people laugh so thanks.

    Benadryl does nothing for me.
    I sleep with the TV on an old program I know really well. Lately it has been Northern Exposure and I start with "The body in question" and it plays the next one and so on all night. Columbo, Monk, and Eureka are staples to my sleeping as well. Dark is supposed to be better but it doesn't work for me.
  • SanDiegofitmom
    SanDiegofitmom Posts: 303 Member
    I went through a period of sleeping deeply after I quit (after 30 days probably), but then after 60 days, I couldnt fall asleep easily. So, I figured it was having a decaf cappuccino around 4:00 p.m. Then, I stopped the decaf and I still couldnt fall asleep. For me, there's nothing I can pinpoint. I have tried meditation before bed with a guided one that helps you relax everything. I like when the lady on the meditation says "NO thinking" every so often. I hope you find some helpful tips.

    @janejellyroll I hope you find what works for you. I am still trying to get a deep sleep. But I do know that since I cut way back on alcohol, I no longer have that raging heart beat in the middle of the night. That's a relief.

    Insomnia is mostly mental/ habits, a little hormonal and a little genetic. I had horrible post partum anxiety and 10 months of bad insomnia. What helped the most was dealing with anxiety and learning how to observe thoughts without having to figure them out at bedtime. I think letting yourself know that periods of restlessness are ok is also helpful. Finally, meditation in the form of breathing exercises is so helpful. It seems to calm down the system and mind. Also, like @NovusDies does, I also engage in mental exercises. If I’m really wound up, sometimes I make up a story, like as though I’m writing a book. Sounds weird but I always fall asleep.

    Melatonin in small doses is fine to take - it’s not a medication, rather it’s a hormone. As we age it actually decreases so it’s not a bad thing to add but talk to a dr. Or naturalpathic dr.

    Sleep habits are also key. Make your bed only for sleeping and sex :) that’s what a sleep dr. Told me. Keep your phone and iPad out of your room at night and shut it off an hour before bed. Also get up at the same time every day, don’t sleep in even if you have a bad night and don’t nap. Implementing sleep hygiene will help a ton! Basically much like the Naked Mind for alcohol, you need to train your brain that your bed is a cue for sleep.

    Ok that’s all I’ve got :)
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    @NovusDies, if I ever want to sleep in the afternoon a sure bet is an old Columbo. And last time I was in London Monk came on every afternoon at 4, which was when I needed a nap to gear up for going out at night. Those 2 shows must have subliminal sleep messages. I avoid TV at bedtime but might try it if I get desperate.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    @SanDiegofitmom is right. I forgot that tip. You can't lie in bed awake for hours without sleeping. If you can't sleep you have to move to another room so you don't associate your bed and bedroom with sleeplessness.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    donimfp wrote: »
    @NovusDies, if I ever want to sleep in the afternoon a sure bet is an old Columbo. And last time I was in London Monk came on every afternoon at 4, which was when I needed a nap to gear up for going out at night. Those 2 shows must have subliminal sleep messages. I avoid TV at bedtime but might try it if I get desperate.

    City confidential is another good one. I think Monk and Columbo work because they are low-key and because I know them so well.
  • islandbeez
    islandbeez Posts: 162 Member
    edited May 2018
    Happy Thursday, friends! Wow, we have gotten to be so busy with so many new faces <3 It's inspiring and I love reading all of the new ideas and even struggles. We are not alone as we deal with this dang poison. Off to work, wishing you all strength today, whatever your goals. :*
  • jessican1
    jessican1 Posts: 12 Member
    For those of you who cannot sleep there is a podcast called "Sleep With Me" it is a bit strange but I have suffered from insomnia for years and years and this podcast really seems to help when I am going through a bout of insomnia. :smile: I too noticed when I would have wine at night that I would fall asleep but be woken up with anxiety at about 2am.