WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JUNE 2018
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Presents: I have never given presents or cards to siblings and their children and they all do the same. Same with my DH's sibling and children Part of it was the way we were raised and the rest was because we just never had the money to do so for a long, long time. Did give presents to my parents and to my DH's parents. DH always give his brother and broth-n-law a nice bottle of scotch for Christmas.
Carol in GA2 -
1948Peachy wrote: »Presents: I have never given presents or cards to siblings and their children and they all do the same. Same with my DH's sibling and children Part of it was the way we were raised and the rest was because we just never had the money to do so for a long, long time. Did give presents to my parents and to my DH's parents. DH always give his brother and broth-n-law a nice bottle of scotch for Christmas.
Carol in GA
This has been a constant indecision in our family for years. My husband and I each have one sibling each and between us 4 nieces and nephews. Now 4 Great nieces and nephews. His parents are both still living, my Dad has passed and my Mom is now in a nursing home. I have a best friend that I have exchanged a small gift with since we were in Grade 2, once in a while I'll see something her children might like and I'll do that for them as well. When my Godchildren were little they were included in gifts for Christmas but not since they reached their teen years.
We always believed as a couple since there was just one sibling each we should do something for them for Christmas, we don't do birthdays. So I always make some little thing or pick up a cute Christmas ornament that I feel they would enjoy. That is usually what we get the nieces and nephews as well. We also try to make something for the parents as well.
We have made jewelry boxes, stockings, clocks, wall decor. We put a lot of thought and effort into it. Since we moved to Alberta though we rarely get anything in return. This doesn't affect me a whole lot, except where it concerns our daughters and grandchildren. Every year we say we aren't going to send anything off to anyone and every year I still do. It drives my husband insane. He thinks that except for our parents and my best friend we shouldn't be doing anything. At times he doesn't want to do for his parents either because they never contact us or our children.
I personally feel better knowing I did something whether it is reciprocated or not so I'm sure it will be an ongoing battle LOL
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Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD., My rocks were painted with markers, crayons, and a highlighter or two! I just brushed Modge Podge over the surface! Hey, if any of you have paints or paint pens you bought but never use, send them my way, and I will pay your postage! I will make you a rock, you can put in your garden wherever!
Oh, on a glum note, posted those same pics on my Whidbey island Rock (WIR) group on Facebook, and no one gave me a thumbs up or comment, no nothing! So, I just deleted it out of embarrassment! So many great artists, I don't get squat! Haahaa! I
Thanks for appreciating my father story. It's one of those few that are imprinted on your brain, or heart. It seems like it only happened yesterday you know?
Now my Mom has been passed since 1999, from an aneurysm on her aorta. She knew she would pass from this, and wrote a letter to each of us three girls about a month before her passing. It wasn't a goodbye letter but a letter saying how proud she was of me, my boys, and how brave I was being a military wife. She hoped that there would come a time where I would attend church again, and find God as I suppose she had during the last months. She was angry for many years when she couldn't pray enough or do all the correct things to keep her marriage working. That was during my high school years. But I kept telling her for every bad thing, there is a good thing right around the corner. And that good thing was meeting Bob the next year and having a marriage for 20 years with him.
I need to find that letter and frame it. There is something special about taking it out of the envelope with Becky on the front. My hands touching where her hands were.
I've dreamed about my mother. Hmm, let me rephrase. I had a dream, and she came to it. I was sitting in the living room of our childhood home, (most of my dreams are there). So she comes into the room and I say, "Your here (in my dream)"! So she walks up and gets right in my face and says, "HI". Now have you put your hands to your face, just not quite touching your skin, but still that knowing feeling that your hands are right there? I woke up with that feeling! My Mom just wasn't in my dream, she was right there. At least her soul was. I burst out crying, or course, and called my sister's that day.
One day I will have to tell you about the dream I had where Mr and Mrs Reagan came over for dinner. Haahaa! True!!
Rebecca
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Heather- I agree with you Bout the house. Don’t think about it. Your story about the shuttle reminded me of the time we were. Leaving Venice on a cruise and took a train to the dock. Unfortunately, they had changed the berth place. There we were with all our luggage and no cabs. DH thought we could walk to the other berth pulling out suitcases. It was very hot and we ended up on a major street. Finally, we went back to the first place and found a cab. Our embarkation photo was not pretty. Lol . we are cruising on Princess Lines if we get to go. Still have another week before final decision is made by surgeon on grandson’s ability to travel. It is a long flight to London with a four hour layover before we fly to Copenhagen.
Lisa- have you called USAA. We have had them for over 50 years. When hurricane Katrina hit the MS coast a lot of our relatives lost everything and USAA was wonderful. Just a thought.
SueBDew in TX0 -
RebeccaI think your rocks are adorable. Do you hide them in areas in town for people to find? I see some communities here in Canada are doing that.
I love your stories about your Mom and Dad. My Dad passed in 2012 from lung cancer, I miss him more and more each day I think. My Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's officially in 2017, but had been showing signs since 2012. She was put into a nursing home in December 2017. I live so far away and she doesn't have a phone in her room, so it feels in some ways that I've lost her as well.
I have had dreams about my Dad and my Grandparents since they passed, but the dreams I have had where I truly felt they were "there" has involved my friends Mom. She was killed in a car accident in '96, she was like a second mother to me, I loved her like crazy. Anytime I am worried or stressing or just need some guidance she seems to come to me, it is very reassuring.
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Heather ... I'm enjoying your cruise! The house thing ... Bah!
Lisa ... I love the stonework on the new house and it seems like this one is brighter inside? You do have your work cut out for you ...
DrKatiebug ... so sorry you've injured your ankle! What a bother! On the mammogram cost ... I have to wonder what a difference a week would make?? Even those diagnosed with cancer can wait several weeks until they start treatment... It's a good thing you "like" paying doctors!
Rebecca ... so glad you have lovely memories of your parents.
KarenNY ... very sad when someone tragically passes away ... be sure you allow the upcoming summer break to restore your soul ...
KarenVA ... interesting conversation you started about BFFs ... I have had special friends at different time periods in my life. Currently, I do not have an individual I would call my best friend, but I do have several ladies that I call friends. Frankly,I don't have the time to emotionally invest myself into another's life right now ... I hardly have time to talk to my husband! I do understand, however, the hurt that involved around a lost friendship ...
Machka ... very special gift from your parents ...
Gift giving ... It's taken me a while to get to this point in my life because I used to be the remember-er of all holidays/birthdays/anniversaries/etc., but now I give gifts only when I am moved to do so and I expect absolutely nothing in return. I don't look for a thank you. I definitely don't expect a return gift. I just give. It's not always been this way. For years I sent gifts to my nieces, whom we were estranged from due to a nasty divorce. I never heard if the gifts were received and certainly didn't get a thank you. Then I learned that the ex-SIL was rewrapping the gifts and saying they were from her family. I was incensed. But my husband asked me at the time why I had sent the girls gifts. And my answer was because I loved them and wanted them to have nice things. (To be honest I also didn't want them to think we had abandoned them.) He then asked if that reason had changed because someone else received the credit ... and, of course, the answer was "no." God knew and we knew and that should be enough. So the point of my meandering here is that I make sure I give because I want to ... not out of family duty or guilt or whatever. And if family is talking behind my back because it looks sort of hit and miss ... well, deafness has its advantages.
Beth near Buffalo whose "allergies" have turned into a summer cold ...4 -
Barbara: I was touched by the story of your BFF.
Rebecca: Ditto reading about your DF.
Very handsome indeed!
Machka: I thoroughly enjoyed the article about how fat is burned via our lungs. Today, blowing bubbles while swimming I smiled and said "Buh-bye fat. Don't you ever come back".
Heather: That photo in front of the falls is amazing. Any idea what temperature the water is? Glad you are being pampered after they left you stranded. No words to express my sadness over your house hunting woes.
Lisa: Congrats on finding your forever home. WTG!
Katla: If DH thinks you can manage driving the motor home, I think you can, too! Happy travels.
Lots of nostalgic thoughts coming up for me as I read many of your stories. I've exhausted just about every other organizing task in this condo, so now it's time. Must open up first bin of photos and dive in. Wish me luck.
Rori
Colorado Foothills
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Oh I found my Dad's letter to us girls. He wrote it in 1979, right after the divorce. He was feeling bad that he hurt us girls. So it has been in my eldest sisters stuff. She found the letter in 2014. My father passed in 2006.
Don't know if you can read his writing. A combination of cursive and printing! I will treasure this letter forever, because it shows a side of him I never saw. Poetic and sensitive! I think as a dad he wasn't comfortable with three girls. So much drama, crying, screaming! We were quite the handful. I think he worked in the garden for just the peace and quiet.
Rebecca
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Becca ~ What a beautiful letter to you and your sisters. Now we can guess where all your good sense comes from and how effective are your words.
Carol in GA0 -
Hi Sisters, I am hunkered down here trying to get through winter cold and rain and wind. I bundle up like a snowman to go outside to feed all the animals and give the dogs a walk. Inside, it is a constant job to keep the fire burning. It's a good thing that I know that spring is just around the corner and the glory days of summer will come again. I get so busy outside enjoying the sunshine in summer that I neglect all my inside jobs. Now is the time to catch up on "winter" jobs so I am free to fly through summer. For me, winter is a time to work on my writing and to study, learn and read. To think and plan. And to create.
This could be my most Epic winter ever because tomorrow is My Big Day-retirement from my office work. I can't express how free I will feel, no longer required to get all my farm chores done in the cold early morning so I can drive to town in all weathers to be at the office by mid-morning. And the stress of trying to function in a system that is purposely difficult, as the powers that be try to gain total financial power over the business. Not my problem anymore! I don't have to play by their rules because I am calling the shots now (at least from tomorrow!) My mind is going to have a huge space freed up on the memory card, that I can use for my own business. I'll be able to stick two sentences together and connect the dots. Oh, I can't wait! Slave set free.
I want to spend a lot more time growing my own food, planting extra so I can feed my daughters and grandkids as well on healthy organic greens, vegetables and fruits. I want to focus on Optimum Health and contribution to life.
I have an appointment next week with the doctor to get a saliva test done and have my hormone levels checked. I am feeling pretty good, (great really) so I don't expect any huge surprise or insight, but then I will just get the test done every six months or so and that will be my Health Check Up to make sure I am keeping my levels up.
I am enjoying everyone's input, the little snapshots of your lives, what you are up to and what's important to you. Relationships, health, housing, travel, gardens, exercise, goals,pets, food, art, quotations...I love you, Wendy 5 -
Rebecca, dear heart - what an amazing man he must have been, and what a lovely letter.
Wendy - well done, good and faithful servant, hie thee off to do thine own bidding! Or something like that...
Many congratulations on your retirement! I look forward to mine, but it's a few years off yet.
Warmest regards,
Lisa in AR3 -
Best friends. My mother always had a few best women friends. They were single, so she was the most important person in their lives. I have been much the same, I've always had a few really good, intimate women friends, who are hugely important to me. They have changed from time to time, but I value them so much. A couple I have lost when big life things got in the way and it's always a huge bafflement and a wrench. I want a friend to have "unconditional regard" for me. I love the feeling of the world receding when you talk and THIS NOW being the most important thing in the world to both of you. Whoever said that three's a crowd was right. Sometimes the air sparkles between us, even on a phone call.
I also have the gang from school, which includes my difficult friend. I love her, but she drives me nuts.
My cancer friend is so important to me and I know I will lose her soon.
I am lucky beyond words that my husband is my best friend. But I love others too.
My DH has a few friends that he rarely contacts. Luckily his cricket friend is great at getting in touch, so they see each other even when the season is over. They meet for a walk and a pub lunch. It's usually his friend who instigates it. Good for him. Men like that are rare. I don't think they are intimate in the way that women are, but they have shared a few difficult emotional topics.
After me I think he would turn to his sister with his worries.
Sea day tomorrow. Running first thing. Then line dancing.
Much love, Heather, heading south to Åland, an island in Swedish speaking Finland.???????4 -
coastalgosgal wrote: »Oh I found my Dad's letter to us girls. He wrote it in 1979, right after the divorce. He was feeling bad that he hurt us girls. So it has been in my eldest sisters stuff. She found the letter in 2014. My father passed in 2006.
Don't know if you can read his writing. A combination of cursive and printing! I will treasure this letter forever, because it shows a side of him I never saw. Poetic and sensitive! I think as a dad he wasn't comfortable with three girls. So much drama, crying, screaming! We were quite the handful. I think he worked in the garden for just the peace and quiet.
Rebecca
How beautiful a very special treasure.0 -
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im home , and my poor Landlord.. he waited all day for the idiots from Home Depot to show up at my condo to put in the new microwave... ,he is Pi$$ed .. so he is throwing it on my plate, hopefully next thursday..
tomorrow i will be going at breakneck speed with Tracy trying to get everything done in the next 2 days..
wish us luck lol1 -
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Rori--Great picture. glad your visit went well.
Lisa--Looks like the place needs a lot of work, very good bones to work with it and what fun turning it into your place. Excited for you and the new place.
Heather--I am so enjoying hearing about your trip and looking forward to pictures when you are able to post.Just saw the pictures. Wonderful. Love your dress. I am so sorry about your news on the house. Beautiful waterfall, I agree when I first looked I thought snow.
My DH is the social one in this couple. He talks to everyone and I just tag a long. I tell people I do not have to be social as he does it for both of us.
Deb--I had the lap band done in 2012 and lost over 100 pounds. I would still like to lose another 80 but seems to be stuck. But not giving up. One day at as time.
Katiebug--sending lots of hugs.
Katla--I am sure your driving will be fine, and pray you enjoy your new adventure.
Penny--Interesting about the smelling foods. I love that there is always something to learn with this group.
Meg--Glad your trip went well and you made it home safe. This weather is crazy.
Machka--Beautiful Hope.
Well ladies been a pretty stressful day and working 13 hours and back tomorrow. Blessings, Vicki GI NE
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Wendy: I am SOOOOOO happy for you! I retired 3 1/2 months ago and absolutely love it. I get asked to consult in my previous area of expertise, but have told everyone, this is my "gap" year. No work till I have spent a full year just enjoying life and staying only as busy as I want to be. All the best to you.
Rori
Colorado Foothills3 -
Wendy Oh my gosh, happy retirement! Now life begins.
Rebecca What an amazing treasure you have in that letter from your dad. How touching.
Barbara Thank you for sharing your poignant BFF story. Plucked my heart strings.
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My partner & I worked together to get the rest of the weed patch dug out and we salvaged the day lilies that were in there. It was hard damn work. I'm glad we did it together, I was nearly in despair yesterday working on it alone. I felt as if I had been sentenced to hard labor!
Karen in Virginia
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