No Children - Lifestyle Choice

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  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
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    newmeadow wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    147Me wrote: »
    I'm 43 and have never had children. It was my choice not to - a choice I gave an abundant amount of thought to.

    Like many of the other stories in this thread, I've experienced my fair share of prejudice from people who have kids.

    It is sometimes difficult to find a place within female groups because the conversation always seems to revolve around their experience as mothers.

    Sure, I get it. Parents talk about their kids because their children are the most important part of their lives. The world is pro-family place.

    For me, the most difficult part of my choice is finding other childfree middle-aged adults to make friends with.

    So, if you're childfree and reading this, add me as a friend. I promise, I won't go on and on about my kids.

    Child free folk are better conversationalists by far, that's for sure.

    I disagree with that.

    There are always exceptions. There are some true intellectuals who are parents and they are able to discuss ideas or events. Parents tend to discuss people and only people.

    Talking about people is my least favorite thing ever
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    newmeadow wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    147Me wrote: »
    I'm 43 and have never had children. It was my choice not to - a choice I gave an abundant amount of thought to.

    Like many of the other stories in this thread, I've experienced my fair share of prejudice from people who have kids.

    It is sometimes difficult to find a place within female groups because the conversation always seems to revolve around their experience as mothers.

    Sure, I get it. Parents talk about their kids because their children are the most important part of their lives. The world is pro-family place.

    For me, the most difficult part of my choice is finding other childfree middle-aged adults to make friends with.

    So, if you're childfree and reading this, add me as a friend. I promise, I won't go on and on about my kids.

    Child free folk are better conversationalists by far, that's for sure.

    I disagree with that.

    There are always exceptions. There are some true intellectuals who are parents and they are able to discuss ideas or events. Parents tend to discuss people and only people.

    Huh???
  • kroe4
    kroe4 Posts: 111 Member
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    hud54014 wrote: »
    Prior to today, the last post on this thread was October 2013, two years before I had my first kid, and when I thought I didn't want kids. Now I have 2 and still want all the babies.

    It makes me wonder if any of these people who didn't want children in 2012 have children now.
  • Caporegiem
    Caporegiem Posts: 4,297 Member
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    kroe4 wrote: »
    hud54014 wrote: »
    Prior to today, the last post on this thread was October 2013, two years before I had my first kid, and when I thought I didn't want kids. Now I have 2 and still want all the babies.

    It makes me wonder if any of these people who didn't want children in 2012 have children now.

    Statistically speaking, I'd say there are least a few of them that had bad pull out game.
  • beagletracks
    beagletracks Posts: 6,035 Member
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    Yeah, where I live in Gilead, all the fertile women are required to produce offspring. Otherwise, SELFISH, because, you know, the world is super underpopulated and we need more people to use up all these dang resources!
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
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    Yeah, where I live in Gilead, all the fertile women are required to produce offspring. Otherwise, SELFISH, because, you know, the world is super underpopulated and we need more people to use up all these dang resources!

    I’m currently watching this show, just finished season one
  • ChaelAZ
    ChaelAZ Posts: 2,240 Member
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    I wonder if the OP has dried up a little?
  • MichelleWithMoxie
    MichelleWithMoxie Posts: 1,818 Member
    edited June 2018
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    I'm 33, married 2 years (together 5 years) and I have never wanted kids, for as long as I can remember. I remember as an undergrad telling my friends I didn't think I wanted to have any kids and they were always like "oh you'll change your mind, we're just young now". But nope, just not my thing. My husband's older, and has a couple kids from a former marriage, so we're all good just the way we are.

    I live in N. Texas currently (not from here, hate it here actually), so a lot of people here ask me when we're having kids, and it's really f'ing annoying. I don't know if it can penetrate the minds of these Texans that some women CHOOSE NOT TO HAVE KIDS for no other reason than WE DON'T WANT ANY KIDS.
  • beagletracks
    beagletracks Posts: 6,035 Member
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    Yeah, where I live in Gilead, all the fertile women are required to produce offspring. Otherwise, SELFISH, because, you know, the world is super underpopulated and we need more people to use up all these dang resources!

    OMG...I LOL'd while on a call with a customer. I never thought I would see The Handmaid's Tale referenced!
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Yeah, where I live in Gilead, all the fertile women are required to produce offspring. Otherwise, SELFISH, because, you know, the world is super underpopulated and we need more people to use up all these dang resources!

    I’m currently watching this show, just finished season one

    Love the show! Subscribing to Hulu just to watch it. My favorite Atwood novels are _Oryx and Crake_ and _Alias Grace_ — AG is a Netflix limited series, I think, or possibly on Amazon. Not as good as HT, but worth watching.
  • MichelleWithMoxie
    MichelleWithMoxie Posts: 1,818 Member
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    Yeah, where I live in Gilead, all the fertile women are required to produce offspring. Otherwise, SELFISH, because, you know, the world is super underpopulated and we need more people to use up all these dang resources!

    OMG...I LOL'd while on a call with a customer. I never thought I would see The Handmaid's Tale referenced!
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Yeah, where I live in Gilead, all the fertile women are required to produce offspring. Otherwise, SELFISH, because, you know, the world is super underpopulated and we need more people to use up all these dang resources!

    I’m currently watching this show, just finished season one

    Love the show! Subscribing to Hulu just to watch it. My favorite Atwood novels are _Oryx and Crake_ and _Alias Grace_ — AG is a Netflix limited series, I think, or possibly on Amazon. Not as good as HT, but worth watching.

    oh oh! i'm another Handmaid's Tale fan!! It is both an amazing show and absolutely terrifying.
  • jeannemarie333
    jeannemarie333 Posts: 214 Member
    edited June 2018
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    Thanks for posting ♥
  • MichelleWithMoxie
    MichelleWithMoxie Posts: 1,818 Member
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    MichSmish wrote: »
    I'm 33, married 2 years (together 5 years) and I have never wanted kids, for as long as I can remember. I remember as an undergrad telling my friends I didn't think I wanted to have any kids and they were always like "oh you'll change your mind, we're just young now". But nope, just not my thing. My husband's older, and has a couple kids from a former marriage, so we're all good just the way we are.

    I live in N. Texas currently (not from here, hate it here actually), so a lot of people here ask me when we're having kids, and it's really f'ing annoying. I don't know if it can penetrate the minds of these Texans that some women CHOOSE NOT TO HAVE KIDS for no other reason than WE DON'T WANT ANY KIDS.

    I am a Texan, and I can see your point. I love my state, but it feels like the minute people hear you are in a relationship for more than a month they start asking when you will be having kids. I remember when I became pregnant the first time, my best friend told me I should have an abortion because I am too selfish to have kids. I made her eat crow. I can say that if I never had my children I could have lived my life without being a parent. Once I became a parent I gained a new perspective, and now I couldn't imagine life without them. I have been on both sides, and I respect the decisions other people make. Don't let the annoying Texans leave too bad a taste in your mouth <3

    Thank you for that perspective. Hopefully I'll encounter more people like you here with a more open mind about this subject :smile:
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    The worst reason to have kids is because you think you're supposed to or because you're feeling outside pressure to. It's not selfish to not have kids. What's selfish is having kids when you know you can't or won't take care of them, or having them and then neglecting or abusing them. Being a parent doesn't make you inherently selfless. There are plenty of crappy parents in the world.
  • fjellrev
    fjellrev Posts: 5,078 Member
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    I never understood why it's regarded as selfish for not doing something you simply don't want to do, especially given the fact that this decision doesn't even affect the lives of these narrow-minded people. Oh but wait, I'm going to change my mind. My biological clock is ticking. Insert whatever other endlessly regurgitated empty thought because we are all cookie cutter citizens, after all.
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
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    fjellrev wrote: »
    I never understood why it's regarded as selfish for not doing something you simply don't want to do, especially given the fact that this decision doesn't even affect the lives of these narrow-minded people. Oh but wait, I'm going to change my mind. My biological clock is ticking. Insert whatever other endlessly regurgitated empty thought because we are all cookie cutter citizens, after all.

    It's not selfish. I don't even know why that word was brought up with not wanting kids.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
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    cee134 wrote: »
    fjellrev wrote: »
    I never understood why it's regarded as selfish for not doing something you simply don't want to do, especially given the fact that this decision doesn't even affect the lives of these narrow-minded people. Oh but wait, I'm going to change my mind. My biological clock is ticking. Insert whatever other endlessly regurgitated empty thought because we are all cookie cutter citizens, after all.

    It's not selfish. I don't even know why that word was brought up with not wanting kids.

    In my experience it is brought up by a. religous people- you are supposed to want to procreate and grow the human race and stuff b. people struggling with infertiliy- I understand is a difficult situation, but still not a good reason to push someone else to have kids who does not want them.