WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JULY 2018

drkatiebug wrote: »

Machka, I know you are happy to have your husband at home.

My advice on the caregiver situation based on watching my mother deal with round the clock caregivers for her brother for 9 months. Decide what level of comfort you can live with and set boundaries from the beginning. For example, are you ok with them drinking your tea or do you prefer they bring their own? What about food or snAcks? Do you want them prowling in your cabinets or to ask you for needed supplies. What about smoking? You’d be surprised at the number of caregivers who smoke. What about phone? WiFi? My mother did not set boundaries and had issues with caregivers who are up all her food, stayed on the phone, and encroached on her personal space, in particular the kitchen, way too much. The unprofessionalism I witnessed from my uncle’s caregivers was outrageous.

Thanks for mentioning those things ... it has helped me think through a few things to say.

The caregiver will be here while I'm at work, so we'll have our evenings and weekends to ourselves. So that's a good thing. And when my husband goes to Community Rehab, she won't be here either.

Smoking - absolutely not! Our lease won't allow that sort of thing in our house ... not to mention, I'm very allergic. So few people I know still smoke, so it didn't actually occur to me to ask about that till after I hung up the phone. But if she does, it will have to be outside, well away from the door.

I don't mind if providing tea and coffee, in fact, one of the things my husband has learned to do is to make tea and coffee so he'll probably want to do that.

But other food, I'd prefer she provide herself. However, she is supposed to help my husband make his lunches and make dinner if he needs help. I'm supposed to create a bit of a schedule that has him doing a household task or two each day like making dinner, doing a load of laundry, etc. and the idea is that she would offer support/assistance as necessary.

There will be down times when my husband naps because he needs a lot of rest, so I'll suggest she bring a book or other quiet activity for those times.

We'll meet her today, and then there will usually be a 10-20 minute overlap at the beginning and end of the day, however, I'm planning to come home a bit early sometimes. And as my husband gains confidence, it may be that she looks in on him for a couple hours in an afternoon or something.

Machka in Oz

Snowflake - Love the pics! The jewel makeup is fab!

Karen - Lovely boy. So big, in a nice way.

Well, our garage freezer is kaput. :noway: :noway: Will have to cook all the meat and refreeze. Unfortunately we had recently done a big shop, so there is loads. The garden fruit is refreezeable. So a long, hot day of cooking for me.
We are at the humid stage of our heatwave. No fun.

Plus have to drive to get my blood pressure meds and sort my phone micro card.

Oh well.

Love Heather UK xxxxxxx

Hi Sisters,

I'm back from visiting my daughter and grandies. Successfully completed the half marathon in atrocious weather conditions. Rain and a head wind blowing off the ocean. I was soaked down to my undergarments and had to steep myself in a hot bath afterwards to raise my body temperature back up. But got a nice medal! As well as a large blister, LOL. My leg muscles are still sore today.

Machka, great to hear that your hubby is at home and hope his progress speeds up in his own familiar environment. Will be less stressful on you to not have to go to the hospital all the time.

Barbie, love that pic of your poodle barking at herself in the mirror. Animals are so funny! And thanks again for keeping us all linked in cyber space! Pretty soon Lanette will have our transporters up and running and we can drop in on each other for morning tea, and then all go to Heather's for a proper six course dinner.

I played a joke on my husband when I got home. My youngest daughter is so excited because she is pregnant. She has been trying ever since the ectopic pregnancy emergency surgery six months ago. She gave me her positive pregnancy test stick and told me to pretend to my husband that I was pregnant. I showed it to him and he said, "You can't be!" and I said, "You must have grown back together-20% do," referring to his vasectomy. "But you can't get pregnant at 52!" "Oh yes I can, I still get my periods, " I said. "It must be yours because I haven't shagged anyone else!" "I want a DNA test to prove it's mine!" he said. I made him sweat for 30 minutes before I told him he's going to be grand dad again. LOL I was laughing so hard I cried! Wendy