Cliques

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  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
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    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Interesting...i guess Wed have to define clique. Im definitely a loner in these here parts.

    You seem like you’re friends with everybody!

    Well i guess thats why a definition is needed. Because i think thats the opposite of cliques. I see value in everybody's interactions. But i dont necessarliy click with one group or group of people. ? Am i making sense lol, probably not :#
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
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    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Interesting...i guess Wed have to define clique. Im definitely a loner in these here parts.

    You seem like you’re friends with everybody!

    Well i guess thats why a definition is needed. Because i think thats the opposite of cliques. I see value in everybody's interactions. But i dont necessarliy click with one group or group of people. ? Am i making sense lol, probably not :#

    To me a clique is a group of people who will interact with each other to the exclusion of others. If this happens here, I’m genuinely unaware.

    However, I do still remember being new and feeling like people were blind to my posts. What I didn’t realize then is that I was being subjected to a routine newcomer/catfish scrutiny. I felt unnoticed but behind the scenes people were trying to figure out who I was, if I was a former user. Why do I know this? Because it’s how I react to pretty much every new person. :lol:
  • Misty_1375
    Misty_1375 Posts: 759 Member
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    I’m still trying to figure out who cliques with who 🤔
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
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    caco_ethes wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    cliquey (is this actually a word??) enough for me to feel like an outsider most days.

    You’re not alone, as I see this come up often. What makes you feel like an outsider?

    I don't think it's anything specific. more my own feelings of (or lack of ) self worth or the idea that anyone would find me interesting at all. i'm sure it's mostly steeped in a lack of confidence. I go though phases. I have a HORRIBLE habit of comparing myself to others. oh well.

    But if you give me a chance I'm pretty awesome most days :p

    So you feeling like an outsider has more to do with how you feel than how you’re made to feel? That makes sense. Some days I just don’t blend here. I get that.

    I’m interested to hear from people who see cliques here though. What I wonder is if people see the group of people who post most frequently as being in their own clique.

    I think some people do see it like that. Honestly, when I first joined here and started to post it kind of felt like that. Then I realized I just need to losen up :D I can also see how some people may feel a little intimidated in here sometimes, especially when not knowing the regular posters personality and sarcasm.

    Plus when you throw in inside jokes and references to events that happened before you came on the scene, it can feel exclusionary at times. But it’s good to recognize when it’s just a feeling and not reality
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
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    caco_ethes wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Interesting...i guess Wed have to define clique. Im definitely a loner in these here parts.

    You seem like you’re friends with everybody!

    Well i guess thats why a definition is needed. Because i think thats the opposite of cliques. I see value in everybody's interactions. But i dont necessarliy click with one group or group of people. ? Am i making sense lol, probably not :#

    To me a clique is a group of people who will interact with each other to the exclusion of others. If this happens here, I’m genuinely unaware.

    However, I do still remember being new and feeling like people were blind to my posts. What I didn’t realize then is that I was being subjected to a routine newcomer/catfish scrutiny. I felt unnoticed but behind the scenes people were trying to figure out who I was, if I was a former user. Why do I know this? Because it’s how I react to pretty much every new person. :lol:

    Ya, i can see the newbies feeling left out because there are inside jokes due to time being spent on here. And so weve all been there and felt excluded. And sometimes the banter between a group of people is carried on in such a way others might stop responding or feel excluded. Not sure thats a clique. But i must meet the clique quota. And so i will say clique one more time.
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
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    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Interesting...i guess Wed have to define clique. Im definitely a loner in these here parts.

    You seem like you’re friends with everybody!

    Well i guess thats why a definition is needed. Because i think thats the opposite of cliques. I see value in everybody's interactions. But i dont necessarliy click with one group or group of people. ? Am i making sense lol, probably not :#

    Perfect sense, I like to read everyone's comments also. I think this group is full of diverse characters and I honestly enjoy them all. Some are more sarcastic and others are deeply intellectual. Perhaps we should think more along the lines that the chit-chat forum is in itself a clique....

    Good point. I think you may be on to something...and within the larger group/clique everyone has there favorites or friends you banter with more naturally.
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
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    caco_ethes wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Interesting...i guess Wed have to define clique. Im definitely a loner in these here parts.

    You seem like you’re friends with everybody!

    Well i guess thats why a definition is needed. Because i think thats the opposite of cliques. I see value in everybody's interactions. But i dont necessarliy click with one group or group of people. ? Am i making sense lol, probably not :#

    To me a clique is a group of people who will interact with each other to the exclusion of others. If this happens here, I’m genuinely unaware.

    However, I do still remember being new and feeling like people were blind to my posts. What I didn’t realize then is that I was being subjected to a routine newcomer/catfish scrutiny. I felt unnoticed but behind the scenes people were trying to figure out who I was, if I was a former user. Why do I know this? Because it’s how I react to pretty much every new person. :lol:

    Ya, i can see the newbies feeling left out because there are inside jokes due to time being spent on here. And so weve all been there and felt excluded. And sometimes the banter between a group of people is carried on in such a way others might stop responding or feel excluded. Not sure thats a clique. But i must meet the clique quota. And so i will say clique one more time.

    If someone says something I don’t understand I resort to saying something in code so they know I’m not following. But then they don’t know what I’m saying and we get confused and they make us both look bad.
  • xFunctionalStrengthx
    xFunctionalStrengthx Posts: 4,928 Member
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    caco_ethes wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Interesting...i guess Wed have to define clique. Im definitely a loner in these here parts.

    You seem like you’re friends with everybody!

    Well i guess thats why a definition is needed. Because i think thats the opposite of cliques. I see value in everybody's interactions. But i dont necessarliy click with one group or group of people. ? Am i making sense lol, probably not :#

    To me a clique is a group of people who will interact with each other to the exclusion of others. If this happens here, I’m genuinely unaware.

    However, I do still remember being new and feeling like people were blind to my posts. What I didn’t realize then is that I was being subjected to a routine newcomer/catfish scrutiny. I felt unnoticed but behind the scenes people were trying to figure out who I was, if I was a former user. Why do I know this? Because it’s how I react to pretty much every new person. :lol:

    One of the joys of being on the internet and learning new people, or is it someone who's returned and just wearing a new mask. Seems to be a whole crew of people who do it...


    There is a bit of a close-knit group here. Which is common in many long-running forums. But, what gets me a bit is the unequal application of rule enforcement and what people deem as acceptable behavior. This has always been something I've never understood in the many years I've been online.
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
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    caco_ethes wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Interesting...i guess Wed have to define clique. Im definitely a loner in these here parts.

    You seem like you’re friends with everybody!

    Well i guess thats why a definition is needed. Because i think thats the opposite of cliques. I see value in everybody's interactions. But i dont necessarliy click with one group or group of people. ? Am i making sense lol, probably not :#

    To me a clique is a group of people who will interact with each other to the exclusion of others. If this happens here, I’m genuinely unaware.

    However, I do still remember being new and feeling like people were blind to my posts. What I didn’t realize then is that I was being subjected to a routine newcomer/catfish scrutiny. I felt unnoticed but behind the scenes people were trying to figure out who I was, if I was a former user. Why do I know this? Because it’s how I react to pretty much every new person. :lol:

    Ya, i can see the newbies feeling left out because there are inside jokes due to time being spent on here. And so weve all been there and felt excluded. And sometimes the banter between a group of people is carried on in such a way others might stop responding or feel excluded. Not sure thats a clique. But i must meet the clique quota. And so i will say clique one more time.

    If someone says something I don’t understand I resort to saying something in code so they know I’m not following. But then they don’t know what I’m saying and we get confused and they make us both look bad.
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Interesting...i guess Wed have to define clique. Im definitely a loner in these here parts.

    You seem like you’re friends with everybody!

    Well i guess thats why a definition is needed. Because i think thats the opposite of cliques. I see value in everybody's interactions. But i dont necessarliy click with one group or group of people. ? Am i making sense lol, probably not :#

    To me a clique is a group of people who will interact with each other to the exclusion of others. If this happens here, I’m genuinely unaware.

    However, I do still remember being new and feeling like people were blind to my posts. What I didn’t realize then is that I was being subjected to a routine newcomer/catfish scrutiny. I felt unnoticed but behind the scenes people were trying to figure out who I was, if I was a former user. Why do I know this? Because it’s how I react to pretty much every new person. :lol:

    Ya, i can see the newbies feeling left out because there are inside jokes due to time being spent on here. And so weve all been there and felt excluded. And sometimes the banter between a group of people is carried on in such a way others might stop responding or feel excluded. Not sure thats a clique. But i must meet the clique quota. And so i will say clique one more time.

    If someone says something I don’t understand I resort to saying something in code so they know I’m not following. But then they don’t know what I’m saying and we get confused and they make us both look bad.

    I resort to leaving the thread or being completely random to the point of embarrassing myself :#
  • pudgy1977
    pudgy1977 Posts: 13,499 Member
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    I have such a wide variety of friends here. Some I talk to often one on one and others just in the forums. Most certainly not part of what I call a clique.
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
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    caco_ethes wrote: »
    I notice cliqueish behavior in the selfie thread sometimes. Occasionally a new person will post and get overlooked or even woo’d and I don’t know why that is.

    Actually i can agree with this. If you are not a regular selfie poster or commentor (is that a word) i notice they get passed over. Maybe its a comfort level?
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
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    caco_ethes wrote: »
    I notice cliqueish behavior in the selfie thread sometimes. Occasionally a new person will post and get overlooked or even woo’d and I don’t know why that is.

    Actually i can agree with this. If you are not a regular selfie poster or commentor (is that a word) i notice they get passed over. Maybe its a comfort level?

    I notice a lot of really attractive people getting woo’d and it seems like petty people are trying to discourage them from posting
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
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    caco_ethes wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    I notice cliqueish behavior in the selfie thread sometimes. Occasionally a new person will post and get overlooked or even woo’d and I don’t know why that is.

    Actually i can agree with this. If you are not a regular selfie poster or commentor (is that a word) i notice they get passed over. Maybe its a comfort level?

    I notice a lot of really attractive people getting woo’d and it seems like petty people are trying to discourage them from posting

    Could be. I'd hate that to be the case because on somr level we all struggle with self image or weightloss...or just in a difficult place atm.
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
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    caco_ethes wrote: »
    I notice cliqueish behavior in the selfie thread sometimes. Occasionally a new person will post and get overlooked or even woo’d and I don’t know why that is.

    Actually i can agree with this. If you are not a regular selfie poster or commentor (is that a word) i notice they get passed over. Maybe its a comfort level?

    hmm I don't know. I rarely post in the selfie thread but have never felt passed over when I do. I think it's more so that people support who they are friends with and the new people likely have not acquired any yet. Doesn't make it okay still. Not a way to welcome new people, for sure.

    Yes thats why i question maybe its just a comfort level. But i could probably guess in some cases its more than that.