Less Alcohol- July 2018- One Day at a Time
Replies
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I personally like One Day At A Time. It has been very motivational and kind of a motto for this group I feel.
Also, I don’t like change
with anything. I’ll drive a car til it doesn’t run. Keep a cell phone til its stops working. And so on. Told you guys I’m a curmudgeon!
I admit that I personally love "one day at a time" but like you I am not much for change so I am a bit biased. I don't want to get in the way if some people do look at it negatively though.1 -
I like "One day at a time" in one way because it keeps us coming back to share our successes and struggles and support each other. I'll get over my negative thoughts about it.
Not sure if we cross-posted or not, @NovusDies but you might have missed that I said not to worry about changing things on the last page.2 -
Hi Guys, I like “One day at a time” too. I didnt actually start this thread but i did use the former moderator’s title. I think it may be best to continue using it , because after all these months people may find it easier, recognize it better, stumble upon it after losing track of it, etc. I think what I’m saying it’s like brand recognition.
@orphia I do love your motto about the Tomorrow You. I think about that phrase often. I believe in it.
In the past, We also found that people like a new thread each month , because it signifies a fresh start. That may be a good reason to continue creating a new one every month. Other than that, I don’t mind at all if you make changes. It’s OUR thread, so all the feedback is good to hear.
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Before I head to bed, I wanted to share that today I took the Sober School blogger’s advice and wrote my best friends a letter. I addressed it to all four of my friends, so they know they are getting the same letter. I explained my new intentions not to drink. I explained how my brain is different than theirs and I cannot stop at just one. It is impossible for me to do that. I wrote from the heart, with some humor, and reassurance that I still want to go out with them, but I wont be the one drinking.
I mailed it today. I also mailed a copy of that blog I posted a link a few days ago. It was the one about how the brain of a serious drinker functions differently. How when we take a sip, our brain says “Goooooo. Go go go...” and how a moderate drinker’s brains hear sirens and whistles signaling them to stop after two drinks. But my brain never hears those sirens and whistles. Anyway, i wonder what they’ll think of my letter. I know they will be supportive, but perhaps they will be secretly sad that they’re losing their wild, happy , fun drinking buddy.
I am taking baby steps towards my goal of sobriety. Wishing every one a night with less alcohol:)
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As the month's light continues to fade on her tenure I want to thank @JulieAL1969 once again for her service to this thread and to us as individuals. It should come as no surprise that a good number of the tips and observations on the resource post originated from her even though they may no longer be in her exact words. She made the job look effortless but I know from experience in these kinds of things that it was not.
THANKS!
Always remember each day is a novus dies and that when you start knitting my washcloth I will need it in gray.11 -
@NovusDies Wow. Killer job on that man! Appreciate all the effort!
It feels more complete now. The only thing that is bothering me still is there is not really enough there for moderation goals. Nothing can be done about it for August now. Maybe if @orphia doesn't mind we can look at it again next month and see if there is something we can do about that.
You know, we kind of live in an “all or nothing” society. You really only see advice for people (with anything) who want to make a huge jump into things. And it probabaly leads to people completely giving up. You don’t see articles or videos on how to ease your way into the gym, it’s always about how you need to start working out 5 days a week and eating only healthy foods. And lots of people can’t handle such a huge swing.
Same for drinking, there isn’t advice for people who aren’t problem drinkers and would just like to cut back. It’s either glorify over consumption, or alcohol is the devil.
And that is why sometimes, on a bad personal day, I read this group thinking it is turning to those that are only going AF. But then I think of all the support I have received and I know better.8 -
@NovusDies I laughed! Yes, a grey washcloth! Thanks for your kind words. You are the backbone of our little thread. Xo2
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@NovusDies Wow. Killer job on that man! Appreciate all the effort!
It feels more complete now. The only thing that is bothering me still is there is not really enough there for moderation goals. Nothing can be done about it for August now. Maybe if @orphia doesn't mind we can look at it again next month and see if there is something we can do about that.
You know, we kind of live in an “all or nothing” society. You really only see advice for people (with anything) who want to make a huge jump into things. And it probabaly leads to people completely giving up. You don’t see articles or videos on how to ease your way into the gym, it’s always about how you need to start working out 5 days a week and eating only healthy foods. And lots of people can’t handle such a huge swing.
Same for drinking, there isn’t advice for people who aren’t problem drinkers and would just like to cut back. It’s either glorify over consumption, or alcohol is the devil.
And that is why sometimes, on a bad personal day, I read this group thinking it is turning to those that are only going AF. But then I think of all the support I have received and I know better.
What we probably need is a section for drink moderators that uses the same kind of thoughts people use with cutting back on food. Encourage logging their consumption and cutting back to make it fit in their day kind of stuff. I liked that suggestion from @winogelato about the bracelets (not that I wear them) where she will wear 3 and take one off after each drink and stopping when her wrist was bare. If we work at it we can probably come up with enough.
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@NovusDies Wow. Killer job on that man! Appreciate all the effort!
It feels more complete now. The only thing that is bothering me still is there is not really enough there for moderation goals. Nothing can be done about it for August now. Maybe if @orphia doesn't mind we can look at it again next month and see if there is something we can do about that.
You know, we kind of live in an “all or nothing” society. You really only see advice for people (with anything) who want to make a huge jump into things. And it probabaly leads to people completely giving up. You don’t see articles or videos on how to ease your way into the gym, it’s always about how you need to start working out 5 days a week and eating only healthy foods. And lots of people can’t handle such a huge swing.
Same for drinking, there isn’t advice for people who aren’t problem drinkers and would just like to cut back. It’s either glorify over consumption, or alcohol is the devil.
And that is why sometimes, on a bad personal day, I read this group thinking it is turning to those that are only going AF. But then I think of all the support I have received and I know better.
True. I think the vibe usually heads toward who is actually commenting. I feel like I have been dominating (good or bad) because I am using this thread as a journal, a tool to process my thoughts. But I do wish I could moderate. Damn! About a decade ago, i could. So, I think the thread can continue to be for everyone, it will depend on the comments and posters. I agree that people know better and hopefully feel free to share their moderation tips/successes. On to the new month!2 -
@NovusDies Wow. Killer job on that man! Appreciate all the effort!
It feels more complete now. The only thing that is bothering me still is there is not really enough there for moderation goals. Nothing can be done about it for August now. Maybe if @orphia doesn't mind we can look at it again next month and see if there is something we can do about that.
You know, we kind of live in an “all or nothing” society. You really only see advice for people (with anything) who want to make a huge jump into things. And it probabaly leads to people completely giving up. You don’t see articles or videos on how to ease your way into the gym, it’s always about how you need to start working out 5 days a week and eating only healthy foods. And lots of people can’t handle such a huge swing.
Same for drinking, there isn’t advice for people who aren’t problem drinkers and would just like to cut back. It’s either glorify over consumption, or alcohol is the devil.
And that is why sometimes, on a bad personal day, I read this group thinking it is turning to those that are only going AF. But then I think of all the support I have received and I know better.
Yeah these are good points and I think that unlike with the gym or eating healthy (which when I’m giving advice on the boards about either of these topics I also encourage moderation and a slow but steady approach) there’s a sensitivity (at least on my part) that alcohol is or can be addictive and dangerous in a way that over eating or leading a Sedentary life isn’t. I’m comfortable telling someone who thinks that they are addicted to sugar because they read a blog post that said sugar is more addictive than heroin that it’s NOT physically addictive and that your body needs sugar to survive and that there’s no difference in sugar in fruit and sugar in a snickers in the metabolic ways that your body processes it. I’m comfortable telling people who think they have to go straight into “clean eating” with no cheat meals ever that often that sort of extreme approach leads to failure because it is vague and subjective and ultimately not the driver of weight loss - total calorie consumption is. I’m comfortable telling someone who’s led a very Sedentary life that starting a rigorous gym program may lead to injury or burnout and the important thing is to just start moving a little more each day and to find an activity you truly enjoy. Because in all those things I know that the benefit of small changes that last is definitively better than a big change that doesn’t stick.
However with alcohol consumption I know that’s not the case for everyone and there are certainly some for whom alcohol is not an option and the extreme approach is necessary and warranted. My dad was an alcoholic and that’s always in the back of my mind so I don’t want to over sell my mindful moderation that it could work for everyone because I know how slippery a slope and just how dire those consequences are - unlike continuing to eat some ice cream when a person is trying to make big dietary changes.
@NovusDies what do you feel the list is missing from a moderation perspective, I’m happy to try to fill in some gaps. Are you looking for references/resources or tips/personal observation?4 -
@NovusDies Wow. Killer job on that man! Appreciate all the effort!
It feels more complete now. The only thing that is bothering me still is there is not really enough there for moderation goals. Nothing can be done about it for August now. Maybe if @orphia doesn't mind we can look at it again next month and see if there is something we can do about that.
You know, we kind of live in an “all or nothing” society. You really only see advice for people (with anything) who want to make a huge jump into things. And it probabaly leads to people completely giving up. You don’t see articles or videos on how to ease your way into the gym, it’s always about how you need to start working out 5 days a week and eating only healthy foods. And lots of people can’t handle such a huge swing.
Same for drinking, there isn’t advice for people who aren’t problem drinkers and would just like to cut back. It’s either glorify over consumption, or alcohol is the devil.
And that is why sometimes, on a bad personal day, I read this group thinking it is turning to those that are only going AF. But then I think of all the support I have received and I know better.
What we probably need is a section for drink moderators that uses the same kind of thoughts people use with cutting back on food. Encourage logging their consumption and cutting back to make it fit in their day kind of stuff. I liked that suggestion from @winogelato about the bracelets (not that I wear them) where she will wear 3 and take one off after each drink and stopping when her wrist was bare. If we work at it we can probably come up with enough.
I think we cross posted - as I said I’m happy to offer some tips that have worked for me.0 -
Hi! I just found this group as July is almost over (I’m assuming we’ll do this again in August?). I’m fond of alcohol and tend to overdo. It doesn’t interfere with my responsibilities, but it does interfere with my healthy eating choices and exercise. I dropped 30 lbs to hit my goal weight two years ago by going AF except for a few planned moments (college friend reunion, Christmas Eve and Christmas) and that worked well. I think when I finally left “maintenance” and entered my “regaining” period is when I let myself stop being strict about alcohol consumption.
Now I have 40 to lose! I know I need to do something more permanent. I was thinking about allowing myself one occasion per month to have two drinks, counted within my calorie limit. And then to think long and hard once I hit maintenance again whether to increase this slightly or to try to keep that rule forever. Has anyone had success with a strategy like this? Does it strike you as a delusional plan? Thanks, all.3 -
emilysusana wrote: »Hi! I just found this group as July is almost over (I’m assuming we’ll do this again in August?). I’m fond of alcohol and tend to overdo. It doesn’t interfere with my responsibilities, but it does interfere with my healthy eating choices and exercise. I dropped 30 lbs to hit my goal weight two years ago by going AF except for a few planned moments (college friend reunion, Christmas Eve and Christmas) and that worked well. I think when I finally left “maintenance” and entered my “regaining” period is when I let myself stop being strict about alcohol consumption.
Now I have 40 to lose! I know I need to do something more permanent. I was thinking about allowing myself one occasion per month to have two drinks, counted within my calorie limit. And then to think long and hard once I hit maintenance again whether to increase this slightly or to try to keep that rule forever. Has anyone had success with a strategy like this? Does it strike you as a delusional plan? Thanks, all.
Hi and welcome! Nothing delusional about your plan at all - with this thread and alcohol intake in general it’s really about what works best for the individual. Many of us here are working on moderation goals, not going full on alcohol free. Even within moderation - many of us have different ideas of what success looks like for us.
For me personally - I’m trying to go from a daily 1-3 glasses of wine back before January started , to only drinking on weekends or on preselected events (a work happy hour, vacation, etc). I’m calling my approach mindful moderation so that my alcohol intake is planned out just like my food intake (I’ve lost weight to my goal and am 3 years into successfully maintaining that loss) and ultimately trying to stay away from the slippery slope that happens when I start mindlessly drinking and end up feeling like I should have been more in control and pragmatic.
Also the thread will start over at the beginning of the new month with August in the title, feel free to book mark it, check in as often as you like, share what you’re experiencing (positive and negative alike) and get a great amount of support from the participants. There are great resources and tips listed on the first page and just on the page before this one if you’re interested in some reading or just to hear what has worked for many of the participants.
Again - welcome!6 -
WinoGelato wrote: »@NovusDies Wow. Killer job on that man! Appreciate all the effort!
It feels more complete now. The only thing that is bothering me still is there is not really enough there for moderation goals. Nothing can be done about it for August now. Maybe if @orphia doesn't mind we can look at it again next month and see if there is something we can do about that.
You know, we kind of live in an “all or nothing” society. You really only see advice for people (with anything) who want to make a huge jump into things. And it probabaly leads to people completely giving up. You don’t see articles or videos on how to ease your way into the gym, it’s always about how you need to start working out 5 days a week and eating only healthy foods. And lots of people can’t handle such a huge swing.
Same for drinking, there isn’t advice for people who aren’t problem drinkers and would just like to cut back. It’s either glorify over consumption, or alcohol is the devil.
And that is why sometimes, on a bad personal day, I read this group thinking it is turning to those that are only going AF. But then I think of all the support I have received and I know better.
Yeah these are good points and I think that unlike with the gym or eating healthy (which when I’m giving advice on the boards about either of these topics I also encourage moderation and a slow but steady approach) there’s a sensitivity (at least on my part) that alcohol is or can be addictive and dangerous in a way that over eating or leading a Sedentary life isn’t. I’m comfortable telling someone who thinks that they are addicted to sugar because they read a blog post that said sugar is more addictive than heroin that it’s NOT physically addictive and that your body needs sugar to survive and that there’s no difference in sugar in fruit and sugar in a snickers in the metabolic ways that your body processes it. I’m comfortable telling people who think they have to go straight into “clean eating” with no cheat meals ever that often that sort of extreme approach leads to failure because it is vague and subjective and ultimately not the driver of weight loss - total calorie consumption is. I’m comfortable telling someone who’s led a very Sedentary life that starting a rigorous gym program may lead to injury or burnout and the important thing is to just start moving a little more each day and to find an activity you truly enjoy. Because in all those things I know that the benefit of small changes that last is definitively better than a big change that doesn’t stick.
However with alcohol consumption I know that’s not the case for everyone and there are certainly some for whom alcohol is not an option and the extreme approach is necessary and warranted. My dad was an alcoholic and that’s always in the back of my mind so I don’t want to over sell my mindful moderation that it could work for everyone because I know how slippery a slope and just how dire those consequences are - unlike continuing to eat some ice cream when a person is trying to make big dietary changes.
@NovusDies what do you feel the list is missing from a moderation perspective, I’m happy to try to fill in some gaps. Are you looking for references/resources or tips/personal observation?
I’m not sure if my wording came off wrong. I wasn’t saying there isn’t a difference in an alcoholic and others who aren’t problem drinkers. I know that alcohol isn’t an option for many.
I was just saying, to Novus point, that there aren’t many sources for people who can handle alcohol but maybe need to cut back because they consume maybe more than needed to lose weight1 -
I also want to give a huge thanks to @JulieAL1969
When I first posted in January it was Julie who welcomed me and responded to my first few posts. And now, so may of you have made this a great journey in 2018. But if Julie didn’t respond to those posts, I may have felt ignored and not continued posting. I would like to believe I was motivated to get my health in the right direction regardless. But this group has been a part the whole way so it is impossible to know.
She also is the one who pointed me in the direction of the weight loss challenge group I am a part of on MFP. You have helped me a lot this year. If our paths ever cross in this great big world Julie, the first round of hot teas is on me 5 -
I also want to give a huge thanks to @JulieAL1969
When I first posted in January it was Julie who welcomed me and responded to my first few posts. And now, so may of you have made this a great journey in 2018. But if Julie didn’t respond to those posts, I may have felt ignored and not continued posting. I would like to believe I was motivated to get my health in the right direction regardless. But this group has been a part the whole way so it is impossible to know.
She also is the one who pointed me in the direction of the weight loss challenge group I am a part of on MFP. You have helped me a lot this year. If our paths ever cross in this great big world Julie, the first round of hot teas is on me
Yes, so grateful to Julie. When I hopped on the bandwagon a few days ago she reminded me that I could post as much as I wanted to, or not at all...it was nice to have permission to lurk and not feel pressured to post immediately!4 -
I also want to give a huge thanks to @JulieAL1969
When I first posted in January it was Julie who welcomed me and responded to my first few posts. And now, so may of you have made this a great journey in 2018. But if Julie didn’t respond to those posts, I may have felt ignored and not continued posting. I would like to believe I was motivated to get my health in the right direction regardless. But this group has been a part the whole way so it is impossible to know.
She also is the one who pointed me in the direction of the weight loss challenge group I am a part of on MFP. You have helped me a lot this year. If our paths ever cross in this great big world Julie, the first round of hot teas is on me
I feel the same way, @JulieAL1969 made sure I felt welcome, but also comfortable enough to share.2 -
On another note, last night was our first Saturday in at least a year without vodka and I am so happy! We did it! And the most surprising part is that we still had fun, we still joked around, I had more energy, felt happier than I thought i would, and even stayed up late for a little alone time instead of passing out instantly.9
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WinoGelato wrote: »@NovusDies Wow. Killer job on that man! Appreciate all the effort!
It feels more complete now. The only thing that is bothering me still is there is not really enough there for moderation goals. Nothing can be done about it for August now. Maybe if @orphia doesn't mind we can look at it again next month and see if there is something we can do about that.
You know, we kind of live in an “all or nothing” society. You really only see advice for people (with anything) who want to make a huge jump into things. And it probabaly leads to people completely giving up. You don’t see articles or videos on how to ease your way into the gym, it’s always about how you need to start working out 5 days a week and eating only healthy foods. And lots of people can’t handle such a huge swing.
Same for drinking, there isn’t advice for people who aren’t problem drinkers and would just like to cut back. It’s either glorify over consumption, or alcohol is the devil.
And that is why sometimes, on a bad personal day, I read this group thinking it is turning to those that are only going AF. But then I think of all the support I have received and I know better.
Yeah these are good points and I think that unlike with the gym or eating healthy (which when I’m giving advice on the boards about either of these topics I also encourage moderation and a slow but steady approach) there’s a sensitivity (at least on my part) that alcohol is or can be addictive and dangerous in a way that over eating or leading a Sedentary life isn’t. I’m comfortable telling someone who thinks that they are addicted to sugar because they read a blog post that said sugar is more addictive than heroin that it’s NOT physically addictive and that your body needs sugar to survive and that there’s no difference in sugar in fruit and sugar in a snickers in the metabolic ways that your body processes it. I’m comfortable telling people who think they have to go straight into “clean eating” with no cheat meals ever that often that sort of extreme approach leads to failure because it is vague and subjective and ultimately not the driver of weight loss - total calorie consumption is. I’m comfortable telling someone who’s led a very Sedentary life that starting a rigorous gym program may lead to injury or burnout and the important thing is to just start moving a little more each day and to find an activity you truly enjoy. Because in all those things I know that the benefit of small changes that last is definitively better than a big change that doesn’t stick.
However with alcohol consumption I know that’s not the case for everyone and there are certainly some for whom alcohol is not an option and the extreme approach is necessary and warranted. My dad was an alcoholic and that’s always in the back of my mind so I don’t want to over sell my mindful moderation that it could work for everyone because I know how slippery a slope and just how dire those consequences are - unlike continuing to eat some ice cream when a person is trying to make big dietary changes.
@NovusDies what do you feel the list is missing from a moderation perspective, I’m happy to try to fill in some gaps. Are you looking for references/resources or tips/personal observation?
I’m not sure if my wording came off wrong. I wasn’t saying there isn’t a difference in an alcoholic and others who aren’t problem drinkers. I know that alcohol isn’t an option for many.
I was just saying, to Novus point, that there aren’t many sources for people who can handle alcohol but maybe need to cut back because they consume maybe more than needed to lose weight
I don't think it came off wrong, I think she was just expanding on what you said. ):1 -
Ksandoval0401 wrote: »On another note, last night was our first Saturday in at least a year without vodka and I am so happy! We did it! And the most surprising part is that we still had fun, we still joked around, I had more energy, felt happier than I thought i would, and even stayed up late for a little alone time instead of passing out instantly.
Congratulations!3 -
I've just started reading everyone's posts - I am committing to AF - started 3 days ago and stubbles on this community blog-I've got a way to go but I feel inspired - need to give myself an opportunity to be healthy - I dread dinner out with friends, that will be hard for me because everyone drinks and I can easily talk myself into it-but I don't want to-any advice? I'm all ears 😊7
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Volunteer to be the driverplindeman220 wrote: »I've just started reading everyone's posts - I am committing to AF - started 3 days ago and stubbles on this community blog-I've got a way to go but I feel inspired - need to give myself an opportunity to be healthy - I dread dinner out with friends, that will be hard for me because everyone drinks and I can easily talk myself into it-but I don't want to-any advice? I'm all ears 😊
That way you don’t need to go to the bar, someone else will buy you a coke.
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Day 18 of an alcoholic
I saw my doctor yesterday and he suggested “don’t try and get your wife to stop drinking”
I thought this to be strange
He explained that if she failed it would mean I have failed, he said be healthy and ignore her
Also I was given 3 ice cold peroni on Saturday
I thought about having one but I didn’t
Omg, I feel soooooooooo good15 -
andysport1 wrote: »Day 18 of an alcoholic
I saw my doctor yesterday and he suggested “don’t try and get your wife to stop drinking”
I thought this to be strange
He explained that if she failed it would mean I have failed, he said be healthy and ignore her
Also I was given 3 ice cold peroni on Saturday
I thought about having one but I didn’t
Omg, I feel soooooooooo good
I think the doctor was wise. We can’t change anyone around us, just ourselves. That’s enough work as it is! Congrats on 18! Dont ever stop forgetting how good you feel. Write it down.8 -
Glad I don't have to rely on willpower to be successful with this!
3 -
andysport1 wrote: »Day 18 of an alcoholic
I saw my doctor yesterday and he suggested “don’t try and get your wife to stop drinking”
I thought this to be strange
He explained that if she failed it would mean I have failed, he said be healthy and ignore her
Also I was given 3 ice cold peroni on Saturday
I thought about having one but I didn’t
Omg, I feel soooooooooo good
Nice job! Your wife can see your behavior anyways, I am sure.7 -
Hello everyone!
I'm working on being alcohol-free. I like the idea of having a place to come for support and to share thoughts. I'm very late for the July thread, but I look forward to hanging out the rest of the month and being ready for August.10 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »@NovusDies Thanks for the updated resources.
I've saved it and removed the EasyQuitDrinking app bit because there doesn't seem to be such an app.
I have the EasyQuitDrinking app on my phone. Perhaps it is a Canadian thing...????
I have Easyquitdrinking too but I'm in Las Vegas so I think it's everywhere,I found it in the play store for android,it also has a feature for just cutting back,,I am happy to report that I made it through my trip back home without drinking,,didn't even want to,hubs was,mom was,SIL was but I just didn't care,,thinking about the "tomorrow me"and the thought of a hangover while in the car the next day,roasting my buns off sweating just didn't sound to great so I passed9 -
WinoGelato wrote: »I think we cross posted - as I said I’m happy to offer some tips that have worked for me.
I think that is a great idea. One of us should start a discussion about it around the second week of next month after people declare their goals and everyone new has a chance to get in and welcomed. I told myself I was going to stop working on this thing but apparently I lied. Ah well, as the saying goes... anything worth doing is worth doing right.
4
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